"You idiot! What kind of place did you bring the Daimyo to?!"
Mid-shout, Kakashi slammed Gintoki's head into the ground from mid-air.
The impact was so forceful that Gintoki's skull cracked the hard pavement.
"Daimyo-sama, our deepest apologies!"
Kakashi bowed at a perfect 90 degrees, addressing the Daimyo with utmost sincerity.
"From now on, we will be your guides. And please rest assured—no one will ever know about... today's events!"
"Hm?" The Daimyo blinked, then suddenly remembered something and tapped his fan.
"Ah! That's right! My Konoha trip ends today!"
That's not the point here! Kakashi screamed internally.
The point is your clothes, Daimyo-sama!
Did you even realize you lose your underwear?!
And why don't you seem the least bit embarrassed?!
A normal person would be dying of shame right now!
"Ah well, guess I'll have to come back another time. Gin-san, take me here again next time, okay?"
"Sure..."
Gintoki, bleeding profusely with a small river forming beneath his head, barely managed a weak response.
"Alright, let's head back."
Watching the Daimyo strut away—chest puffed out, completely unbothered, even looks delighted—Kakashi was dumbfounded once more.
Why?!
Kakashi mentally collapsed, but just then, Rin approached him, her face red as she pointed at the mosaic-covered Daimyo.
"K-Kakashi... shouldn't we fix that? Like... getting the Daimyo some clothes... or something."
"Ah!" Kakashi finally snapped out of his daze, leaving behind the words "Have Obito follow along, I'm going to redeem the clothes" before dashing toward the casino.
However, just then, Kakashi suddenly heard a strange shout not far away.
"YOUUUU, thats a public indecency! Take this—Konoha's Whirlwind! Woo-hoo~~!"
Bang! Crash! Thud!
Accompanied by the daimyo's pained scream and a series of sounds, scattered applause erupted around them.
At this moment, Kakashi, who had stopped in his tracks, truly didn't want to turn around to see what had happened.
He didn't want to know who the enthusiastic applause was for, nor did he want to understand what Guy meant by "just doing my civil duty to rid the world of evil."
'I don't want to know! I don't want to know anything!'
'Ahh! Spare me!'
'There's no way I can salvage this situation!'
...
Watching the daimyo, his head wrapped in countless layers of bandages and leaning on a cane as he shook hands with Minato, Kakashi couldn't for the life of him figure out why the fuck the daimyo hadn't held anyone accountable.
He also couldn't understand why, despite everything, the daimyo seemed so happy—even agreeing to allocate more funds to Konoha next year.
Is this daimyo just plain foolish?
"Did Your Excellency enjoy your visit to Konoha this time?" The Third Hokage asked cheerfully from the side.
As if he could possibly be happy!
Kakashi internally groaned.
After having his privacy exposed and being beaten up as a pervert, how could he be happy?
No matter how you looked at it, there was no way!
"Happy! Extremely happy! This is the happiest I've been since becoming daimyo!"
The daimyo exclaimed with delight, then noticed the slightly odd expression that had just flashed across Minato's face.
He chuckled lightly and continued.
"From the day I was born, to inheriting the title from my father, up until now—For decades, everyone has treated me with utmost reverence, whether they were ministers or powerful shinobi. This is the first time I've been treated like an ordinary friend. I'm truly overjoyed."
Hearing the daimyo's heartfelt words, Minato and Kakashi both fell into thoughtful silence.
In contrast, the Third remained as cheerful as ever, as if he had already anticipated this outcome.
After seeing off the daimyo—who had specifically requested "Gin-san" to continue as his escort next time despite having two broken ribs and a fractured leg—Minato couldn't help but marvel at Gintoki's uniquely unconventional approach.
Unconventional didn't even begin to cover it.
It was downright legendary!
"Minato, that boy Gintoki might seem lazy and carefree, but he's sharp as a tack. With a little more growth, having him by your side will allow us old bones to finally retire in peace!"
The Third sighed with emotion, his vision for Konoha's future crystal clear.
The combination of Minato and Gintoki—now that was something to look forward to!
"Indeed…" Minato was also moved.
Gintoki always managed to surprise him, and this time, the surprise was so great he didn't even know what to say.
"Ah, right." The Third suddenly remembered something else, his old face flushing slightly as he coughed into his hands.
"Minato, even though the daimyo didn't make a fuss, we must suppress any rumors about… certain private matters."
"Uh… I understand."
...
That night, Kakashi returned to his home.
Looking at the large white dog that had been summoned by Gintoki and never returned, now sitting at the entrance waiting for him, Kakashi rubbed the big dog's head.
"Don't worry, Sadaharu, I've already bought dog food. I'll feed you later."
"Woof!" Sadaharu barked happily.
"Speaking of which, you're really pitiful to have such an owner who doesn't even buy you dog food. If I were you, I would have run away from home long ago, or given him a good beating."
No sooner had he spoken than Kakashi noticed something beneath Sadaharu's paw.
Upon closer inspection... it was his brother... wearing nothing but shorts!
"Good job, Sadaharu! Next month's dog food is on me!"
"Woof!"
...
The next day, in the Hokage's office.
As Minato read through the "extremely detailed" mission report submitted by Gintoki, the corner of his eye twitched uncontrollably.
Because... it was written in far too much detail!
Taking the daimyo incognito to the red-light district was one thing, but to even document the specifics of the games they played?!
Why on earth would you write this in such detail?
No one wants to know this!
Besides, this kind of content can't even be archived!
It's filled with restricted descriptions!
It's practically an indecent literary work—more scandalous than Jiraiya-sensei's novels!
"Oho! Who wrote this story? This is genius, Minato! A tale of the daimyo and a hostess? Not bad, not bad! Quite the imagination! And these descriptions—utterly addictive!"
Seeing Jiraiya who had appeared out of nowhere, Minato's lips twitched awkwardly again before he massaged his temples in resignation.
"Sensei, this isn't a novel. It's a mission report."
Hearing this, Jiraiya gave him a look that said.
"Don't think becoming Hokage means you can fool your teacher!"
"This involves the daimyo! There's no way the daimyo would ever go to such a—"
"Gintoki took the daimyo there. The daimyo visited Konoha for sightseeing a few days ago, and Gintoki was his escort..."
At the mention of Gintoki's name, Jiraiya immediately waved his hand.
"Say no more—I believe it!"
"By the way, sensei, the reason you're back this time is..."
"Well, I heard Orochimaru is getting married, so I rushed back from Mount Myoboku. Speaking of which, who's his girlfriend? Do I know her?"
Hearing this, three giant question marks popped up on Minato's forehead.
"WHAT???"