"Sensei, let me explain! I really only told Gintoki-nii, Guy, and Gamariki—and I specifically told them to keep it a secret and not tell anyone else!"
Obito was the first to raise his hand and speak.
At the mention of Gamariki's name, Minato immediately understood why Jiraiya, hiding in Mount Myōboku, had learned about Orochimaru's supposed marriage so quickly and clearly!
"Hokage-sama, I, Might Guy, swear to the gods—I only told Genma and made him promise to keep it a secret!"
"Hokage-sama, I, Shiranui Genma, swear to the gods—I only told Ebisu and absolutely made him promise to keep it a secret!"
"Hokage-sama, I, Ebisu, swear to the gods—I only told Raidō and even forced him to keep it a secret!"
"Hokage-sama, I, Raido Namiashi, swear to the gods that I only told Asuma and strongly urged him to keep it secret!"
"Hokage-sama, I, Sarutobi Asuma, take full responsibility for my actions! This has nothing to do with Kurenai! It was my loose lips that told her!"
"Hokage-sama..."
"Hokage-sama..."
...
...
After going around in this same pattern, with only occasional word variations, Minato could only sigh in exasperation, rubbing his temples in sheer frustration.
Even after nearly everyone had taken their turn, his other student, Rin Nohara, timidly raised her hand and admitted she'd only told Anko while making her promise secrecy...
Just as Minato was about to assert his authority as both a strict teacher and the Hokage to reprimand these young ninjas, he suddenly noticed something.
There was one person not caught in this vicious cycle!
Gintoki!
Look at Gintoki—when he says he'll keep a secret, he means it!
Now look at yourselves!
Why can't you keep your mouths shut?
"Um, Hokage-sama..." Kakashi raised his hand at just the right moment, pointing at Gintoki, who was idly picking his nose and daydreaming, to fill in the gaps.
"This idiot told Sadaharu."
"Huh?"
Minato frowned.
Sadaharu... oh!
That's Gintoki's summon!
Since it can't talk, telling it isn't a big deal!
See, even when Gintoki couldn't hold it in, he at least told a creature that couldn't spread the news.
Unlike you lot, who can't keep anything to yourselves!
"And then... all the dogs in the village found out, including the Inuzuka clan's ninja hounds..."
Upon hearing Kakashi's additional remark, Minato nearly choked, his eye twitching as he stared at Gintoki in disbelief.
I thought you were outside their cycle—turns out you weren't in their circle at all!
You went and drew your own circle!
—A dog circle!
If the Inuzuka clan's dogs knew, then the Inuzuka clan knew and Minato was well aware of their loose-lipped nature.
The result?
At least a third of the village would find out!
"You all!"
Facing this group of Konoha's future backbone, Minato truly didn't know what to say.
Punishing them seemed harsh, but letting it slide felt wrong too.
And it wasn't just them—even the Third Hokage, the mastermind behind the plan, couldn't resist blabbing!
No, they needed a small punishment to teach them a lesson!
"Wait... something doesn't add up."
Ebisu, ever the meticulous one, adjusted the sunglasses he'd worn since childhood and spoke up.
"Hokage-sama, according to my precise calculations, even including Gintoki's contribution, at most only half the village would know in these few days. There's no way everyone could know!"
Hearing this, Minato shot a resentful look at the Third Hokage.
Good grief!
So you were responsible for the other half?!
"Enough! Every ninja who contributed to spreading this must perform 200 hours of community service for Konoha and its surrounding villagers over the next three months! Kakashi, you're in charge of supervision!"
Minato sternly announced the punishment, but just as he finished, he overheard the Third Hokage muttering under his breath.
"It shouldn't be possible. In just a few days, at most I could have covered about a quarter of the village..."
Hearing this, Kakashi and the other ninjas instantly went expressionless.
Even the Third Hokage was involved in this kind of thing?!
Speaking of which, does the Third Hokage also need to do mandatory community service?
"Hokage-sama, rest assured, I'll personally supervise my old man to make sure he completes every minute of his mandatory labor!"
As Asuma raised his hand to speak, demonstrating his righteousness by turning against his own father, everyone couldn't help but think what a filial son he was!
Definitely his biological child!
"Before that, we still don't know the source of rumors for the remaining quarter of the villagers. I think we must get to the bottom of this!"
Ebisu raised his hand again to speak.
"A quarter..."
Minato stroked his chin in thought.
That wasn't a small number—it would take someone with special skills to spread news to so many people in just a few days!
Based on his experience, the type who loved gossiping in streets and alleys were usually women—the outgoing kind who would chat with anyone they met, just like Kushina...
Wait a minute!
He remembered now!
He might have... mentioned it to Kushina!
Minato's expression instantly became complicated as he watched the ninjas whispering among themselves about who could be responsible for the remaining quarter, feeling too awkward to say anything.
There was no need to confirm it—he knew his wife well enough.
He could already picture the scene!
And how Kushina would pull acquaintances into secluded corners on the street, whispering mysteriously.
"Let me tell you a secret, but you mustn't tell anyone else!"
He could imagine it all too clearly!
"Ahem... well!" Minato cleared his throat to quiet the group, then turned his face slightly and muttered.
"I'll join everyone for the community service too. Kakashi, uh... make a note of that."
"Huh?"
Kakashi blinked, then immediately understood from Minato's slightly unnatural expression.
So out of all these people, he was the only one who had actually treated it as a secret and told no one!
Even the Hokage who gave the order had slipped up!
"Alright, dismissed! That's all for today. Please treat everything said in the Hokage's office as classified! Absolutely do not tell anyone!"
Minato issued the gag order sternly, but then he sensed something amiss.
Would this gag order end up the same way as the last one?
Such worries surfaced in Minato's mind.
.....
"Mikoto, let me tell you a huge secret—you mustn't tell anyone else, okay?"
On the streets of Konoha, Kushina, who had just run into Uchiha Mikoto after her prenatal checkup, mysteriously pulled her into a secluded corner.
"I heard that Orochimaru, one of the Sanin, is getting married!"