Hopeless, truly hopeless!
In the Hokage's office, after Minato took office, Hiruzen Sarutobi was serving as Assistant Hokage and Hokage Advisor, frowned and sighed deeply as he reviewed the submitted "Leaf Village Bathhouse Explosion Incident" report.
Orochimaru, his most valued disciple—how had he contracted Danzo's strange illness of intermittent memory loss? He had already lost his memory three times in a row, each episode lasting over a month where he remembered nothing!
Fortunately, his other disciple, Jiraiya, was relatively sensible.
Every time he heard about Orochimaru's memory loss, he would rush back to the Leaf Village to help him recover.
The bond between them was truly touching!
Whenever Orochimaru lost his memory, Jiraiya would take him out for tea, and afterward, they would even bathe together.
Just yesterday, after drinking tea and bathing, Orochimaru's memory suddenly returned!
Sure, the bathhouse got blown up, but at least his memory was restored.
Jiraiya was reliable—he knew how to share his teacher's burdens!
If Orochimaru lost his memory again in the future, entrusting Jiraiya with the task would be flawless.
And Orochimaru had even learned to go out for tea with Jiraiya—such progress made his teacher look at him in a whole new light.
That's the way it should be!
What kind of ninja spends all his time hanging around old men like Danzo?
At his age, it was about time he settled down with a woman in the Leaf Village.
With a family and bonds, that cold, even ambitious nature of his might gradually change.
Excellent!
Jiraiya had truly done well!
"Minato, do you have a list of unmarried female ninjas in the village who don't have boyfriends? Get me a copy later."
At the Hokage's desk, the Fourth Hokage, Namikaze Minato, who had been buried in paperwork, suddenly froze at these words.
"Huh?"
Seeing the odd expression on his student student face, Hiruzen knew what he was thinking.
Unbothered, he stroked his goatee and chuckled as he explained.
"Minato, don't you think family is the greatest bond a person can have? Orochimaru's change began the moment he lost his parents. So... if he had his own family, even became a parent..."
Hiruzen didn't continue, but Minato already understood the Third's intention—this was about setting Orochimaru up for marriage!
"While that makes sense..." Minato awkwardly twitched his lips, "I doubt Orochimaru would agree..."
At this, Hiruzen faintly raised the corners of his mouth, stroking his goatee with a meaningful smile.
"Don't worry about that, I guarantee he won't have any objections or complaints!"
Orochimaru, my dear student, this is actually for your own good!
Don't blame your teacher afterward!
"NANIIIII?! Orochimaru-sama is getting married?"
Obito burst through the door, looking at Minato in shock before asking.
"Sensei, is this true?!"
"Obito! Don't be so rude! You should address him as Hokage-sama now! And you need to knock before entering!"
Rin, who had followed Obito in, pointed at him and scolded sternly.
"Idiot, how could that be possible? Orochimaru-sama would never be interested in women,"
Kakashi rolled his eyes.
Such a thing was impossible—the more powerful a ninja was, the less interested they'd be in women, just like Orochimaru-sama!
"Uh, hehehe…"
Minato could only laugh awkwardly, feeling strangely unsettled upon hearing that Orochimaru had no interest in women.
Meanwhile, the Third Hokage remained completely serious.
"Minato, whether for ordinary people or ninjas, family is extremely important. More and more ninjas these days refuse to settle down, and that's a serious problem. Without starting a family, they'll never understand its importance!"
"Well, that may be true…" Minato could only smile wryly.
He understood the Third's strategy—basically, he wanted to take advantage of Orochimaru's next memory loss to force him into marriage and make it a done deal.
Was it feasible? Absolutely.
But what would happen when Orochimaru regained his memory and the truth came out?
Things could get really ugly!
After Jiraiya-sensei was exposed for taking the amnesiac Orochimaru on one of his "research trips," he didn't even dare return to the village.
The consequences of forcing Orochimaru into marriage… Minato didn't even want to imagine it!
"Don't worry, I'll take full responsibility."
The Third spoke confidently, certain that once the deed was done, it would be irreversible.
"Well… alright, I'll see what I can do…"
Minato had no choice but to agree.
Then, he turned his serious gaze towards the three-member team that had just returned from their mission.
"You three must never speak of this to anyone. Treat it as top-secret information—bury it deep inside!"
Obito thumped his chest in assurance.
"Don't worry, Sen—Hokage-sama! My lips are sealed! I won't tell a soul!"
"Actually… you're the one I'm most worried about…" Minato sighed, rubbing his forehead before turning to Kakashi and Rin.
"Do you two understand?"
"Yes, we do!" Rin nodded firmly. "I'll make sure Obito doesn't open his big mouth!"
"And I'll do my best to keep his mouth shut," Kakashi added lazily, raising his hand.
Seeing Kakashi with his hands in his pockets and his dead-fish eyes looking more and more like a certain someone's, Minato felt reassured.
Ever since meeting Gintoki, Minato had learned never to underestimate anyone with dead-fish eyes.
Their potential was limitless!
They could rival the Byakugan and the Sharingan!
Take Gintoki—though he always acted like a slacker, he was incredibly reliable when it mattered.
And Kakashi was shaping up to be just like him!
"By the way, Kakashi, Gintoki's mission to escort the Daimyo visiting Konoha for sightseeing ends today. Make sure he submits a detailed mission report as soon as it's over. No more verbal 'mission complete' reports like before."
"Got it—"
...
At the Konoha casino, Gintoki—wearing nothing but shorts—and the Daimyo of the Land of Fire, clad only in mosaic censorship, were being kicked out by the casino guards while hurling insults.
"Next time, I'll win it all back!"
"Damn right!"
Having been brought to a casino for the first time and losing everything in his first gamble, the Daimyo mimicked Gintoki's stance—one hand on his hip, the other pointing a fan at the guards—and shouted.
"We'll definitely win it back! Just you wait!"
"Big talkers! Get lost already!"
The guards sneered at their bravado.
Sure, the Shiroyasha was famous, but in a place ruled purely by luck, that title meant nothing!
Nearby, Kakashi watched the scene with a blank expression, veins throbbing on his forehead.
Rin covered her flushed face, unable to bear the sight, while Obito gazed at Gintoki with admiration.
'Gintoki-nii looks so cool when he talks big!'
Hiss—
Kakashi took a deep breath, then vanished, reappearing behind Gintoki with a Body Flicker Technique.
"You idiot! What kind of place did you bring the Daimyo to?!"
BOOM!!