After sending back the "future" of Konoha, including Asuma and Kurenai—the so-called "future seeders" and "future incubators"—to reflect on their actions, Minato kept Gintoki behind under the pretense of a mission.
During the Third Shinobi World War, Kumogakure, having lost the Third Raikage and subsequently retreated to their village, no longer dared to act aggressively.
However, after the war ended, they suddenly felt emboldened again!
After all, apart from losing their leader, their village had suffered the least losses among all the hidden villages in this war!
Thus, the newly appointed Fourth Raikage often found himself staring at the map of the Shinobi World, lamenting why so many prosperous lands didn't belong to Kumogakure—especially the fertile and talent-rich Land of Fire.
In his mind, a thousand years ago, it must have been part of the Land of Lightning!
As a citizen of the Land of Lightning, reclaiming territory lost a millennium ago was not only justified but also righteous!
And so, with a grand wave of his hand, he declared.
"Brothers, charge!"
...
"Seriously, another war?"
Gintoki scratched his bird's nest-like hair irritably, clicking his tongue in displeasure.
Minato's task for Gintoki was to lead several squads to the frontlines.
Of course, this wasn't an attempt to set Gintoki up—it was to further bolster his credentials.
Once his experience was sufficiently padded, Minato could maneuver to promote him as his right-hand man.
Though the Shiroyasha's fame had become household knowledge after the Third War, his youth remained a sticking point.
Promoting someone so young to a key position would inevitably invite gossip.
In short, it boiled down to one thing:
If age is lacking, make up for it with experience!
Moreover, based on Minato's understanding of Gintoki, the likelihood of anything happening to him on the frontlines was minimal.
His abilities were well-known—this was mainly about building his resume.
"I'm counting on you, Gintoki."
Minato spoke solemnly, his eyes filled with expectation and a faint plea.
Seeing this, Gintoki ultimately relented.
From that day onward, the number of Kumogakure shinobi afflicted with hemorrhoids began to rise steadily—by at least five per day.
As a result, the proctology department in Kumogakure's hospital witnessed a grand spectacle daily: long queues of "Hemorrhoids patients" outside its doors.
Thus, a new wonder of the Shinobi World was born—
The Hemorrhoids Disease!
...
Over a month had passed since Gintoki's deployment to the frontlines and the emergence of the Hemorrhoids Disease as a Shinobi World phenomenon.
Hiruzen Sarutobi waited left and right but never got the chance he hoped for—Orochimaru losing his memory.
The anxiety was gnawing at him so much that he nearly tore out his beard.
In fact, Hiruzen had heard that ever since Orochimaru left the Hokage's office that day, he had posted a glaring declaration on his front door.
TODAY!
Orochimaru declares:
Lifelong bachelorhood—ask again and I defect!
These three short lines conveyed Orochimaru's indignation.
His neighbors, upon seeing this bold proclamation, promptly took down their festive red lanterns.
The village's interest in this rumor gradually waned, as such artificially inflated scandals never last long—those in the know, know.
"Why isn't it working?"
Just as Hiruzen was deeply troubled by this matter, even beginning to think there might be no hope left, a classified report was delivered by the Anbu to both Minato and Hiruzen.
*****
After carefully reading through the top-secret information—uncovered by a masked, white-haired Anbu who had noticed something unusual and investigated it thoroughly—neither the Third Hokage nor Minato knew what expression to wear.
The tea Orochimaru drank during his memory loss...
Had actually produced tea seeds! (Meaning Orochimaru somehow manage to get someone pregnant)
This sudden news left the two at a complete loss.
This Orochimaru… how could he be so precise?
Looking at the information about the courtesan, Hiruzen accidentally pulled out a few more strands of his beard—mainly because the news was simply too shocking!
According to the Anbu's investigation, this nineteen-year-old commoner woman named Hinowa, having lost both parents at a young age and grown up in poverty, had no choice but to become a courtesan who sold her talents rather than her body.
However, a few months ago, when Jiraiya dragged Orochimaru along to that place, the amnesiac Orochimaru, under the influence of alcohol and spurred on by the equally drunk Jiraiya, mustered up the courage…
Hinowa, who knew Orochimaru was one of the legendary Sanin of Konoha, was too afraid to resist that day…
And then… a new life was conceived!
'Ah, my dear disciple, here I am racking my brains over what to do, and you go and create a whole new life just like that!'
'How am I supposed to handle this?'
'And though this woman has kept herself pure, selling only her talents and not her body, her identity as a courtesan is still…'
Hiruzen truly didn't know what to do.
Moreover, according to the Anbu's investigation, this girl was incredibly strong-willed.
After realizing she was carrying a child, she didn't tell a single soul!
She continued working (performing) as usual to save money, even sneaking off to the hospital for check-ups during her breaks.
From her behavior, it was clear she intended to give birth and raise the child entirely on her own!
What an excessively strong-willed girl.
Hiruzen sighed inwardly.
This was the very embodiment of a mother's resilience—no resentment, just the desire to protect her child!
"Hokage-sama, it's almost been three months. If we're going to terminate the pregnancy, we must act quickly…"
The Anbu member spoke, though his tone clearly betrayed his reluctance.
"No!"
Minato instinctively snapped sternly.
His own Kushina had just been confirmed pregnant, and if this was how Kushina would act as an expectant mother, then this woman was likely no different!
Though their circumstances weren't the same, their instincts as mothers were identical!
Taking her child away would utterly break her!
"I also find it inappropriate…" The Third Hokage sighed, clasping his hands behind his back.
"For now, this must remain top secret. No one else can know! We still don't know how Orochimaru will react to this child, so I think we should wait a little longer."
"But… even someone like Orochimaru wouldn't do anything extreme upon learning he has a child, right?"
"That's hard to say…"
Hiruzen shook his head.
Perhaps before the marriage rumors, Orochimaru might have reacted well to such news. But now…
With his anger still simmering over the marriage rumors, learning about this might push him to do something reckless and irrational.
They had to suppress this until Orochimaru calmed down from the marriage gossip.
And this woman's identity was another major problem!
Orochimaru, Orochimaru… you really know how to give your teacher a headache!
"Byakuren, arrange a new, higher-paying job for this woman. Remember, it must be done without anyone noticing!"
"Hai!"
With that response, the Anbu operative vanished from the room in an instant.