In the VIP box overlooking the arena, the mood was incredibly tense.
Senior Brother Bai lay on a wooden stretcher, clutching his bruised crotch and groaning in agony. Two medics were currently trying to uncross his eyes.
Standing over him was the Grand Elder of the Raging River Sect. The old man's face was purple with rage. He looked like he was about to spit blood.
"Elder," Bai whimpered, reaching a trembling hand upward. "I exposed the thief... I defended our honor..."
"You colossal idiot!" the Grand Elder roared, slapping Bai's hand away. "Do you have any idea what you've done?!"
Bai blinked, his left eye drifting lazily toward his nose. "I... I lost a sparring match?"
"I don't care about the match!" the Elder screamed, throwing his hands in the air. "I don't care about the stolen manuals! You insulted the Velvet Hoof Beast-Taming Sect on a public broadcast! You called them goat-lovers!"
"But they are!" Bai cried defensively.
"That is none of our business!" the Grand Elder slapped the back of the stretcher. "Do you know who supplies our Sect with winter robes? Do you know who provides the premium mutton for our annual banquets?! Grandmaster Bah-Fuka just cancelled our trade agreements! We are going to freeze this winter because you decided to kink-shame our primary agricultural vendor!"
Bai opened his mouth to argue, but the Elder cut him off.
"You are demoted to the Outer Court!" the Elder barked. "And you are on stable duty for the next decade. Get him out of my sight!"
The medics hurriedly carried the sobbing Bai out of the VIP box. His cultivation career wasn't just over; it was buried under a pile of geopolitical wool tariffs.
Down in the lower spectator stands, two nameless, incredibly serious cultivators sat shoulder-to-shoulder. They wore plain grey robes and had identical, stoic expressions.
"Brother Wang," the first cultivator said, his voice flat and devoid of emotion. "I have been stuck at the late Foundation Establishment stage for thirty years."
"As have I, Brother Jin," the second cultivator replied, not blinking.
Brother Wang looked down at the arena floor, where the cross-eyed goat was currently chewing on a piece of discarded leather.
"Did you hear the Velvet Hoof Grandmaster?" Wang asked quietly. "He feeds his ancestral blade to a farm animal every morning. And his aura... it was immaculate. Completely free of impurities."
Brother Jin stroked his chin thoughtfully. "The digestive juices of a ruminant beast contain high levels of natural acidity. Perhaps it tempers the spiritual steel. It removes the rust of the mortal realm."
"It makes logical sense," Wang agreed, nodding slowly. "We have been meditating under waterfalls like fools. We have been ignoring the Dao of Animal Husbandry."
Jin placed a hand on his sword hilt. "There is a livestock market in the Eastern District. If we pool our spirit stones, we could purchase a high-tier ewe by sundown."
"We must," Wang stated firmly. "It is the only path to the Golden Core."
The two men stood up in perfect unison and marched out of the stadium, completely dead-set on committing a terrible, unforgivable crime against their own weapons.
Down near the competitor's tunnel, the goat sat on its haunches.
In the eyes of the crowd, it was a derpy, cross-eyed menace that ruined a high-stakes duel.
But inside its own mind, the goat was a majestic, highly-trained guardian spirit.
A flawless tactical execution, the goat thought to itself, adjusting its posture to sit as regally as possible. The enemy combatant produced a Tier-Three bladed asset. I immediately assessed the threat to Junior Brother He Lu and initiated a covert disarmament maneuver. The goat let out a small, dignified burp. A piece of red silk tassel fluttered out of its mouth and landed on its nose.
The blade was surprisingly low in iron, but the hilt had a pleasant, earthy crunch, the goat mused, chewing on a lingering piece of scabbard wood stuck in its back molars. I neutralized the weapon and secured the perimeter. A textbook operation.
The goat looked around the stadium. Several cultivators were pointing at it and whispering in horrified tones.
Ah. The mortals stare, the goat thought, its rectangular pupils widening with pride. They recognize my martial prowess. They are intimidated by my sheer, predatory aura. It is lonely at the top.
It sneezed, blowing the silk tassel off its nose, and trotted down the tunnel to find its boss.
I woke up staring at a white ceiling.
Everything hurt. My muscles felt like they had been run through a meat grinder. The glorious, unwashed caulk that had temporarily sealed my hollow Dantian was completely gone. The leaky bucket was empty again. I was back to being a fragile, weak peasant.
I groaned, trying to sit up. The bedsheets rustled.
"Do not move. Your meridians are suffering from severe whiplash."
I froze. That voice was crisp, cold, and entirely too familiar.
I slowly turned my head. Sitting in a wooden chair next to my infirmary bed was Senior Sister Ho Li-Fan. She wasn't wearing her formal law enforcement uniform. She wore a simple, elegant blue dress that hugged her curves. Her silver hair needles were gone, letting her dark hair fall freely around her shoulders.
She looked beautiful. She also looked incredibly nervous.
"Fairy Ho," I croaked, my throat dry. My paranoia instantly kicked into high gear. "Am I under arrest? Because if I am, I want my lawyer. You can't interrogate me while I'm on medical leave."
Ho Li-Fan sighed. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. The scent of peppermint and faint, nervous sweat drifted over to the bed.
"You are not under arrest, He Lu," she said softly. "You caught the thief. You retrieved the manuals. The Sect Elders are very pleased with your... unorthodox methods."
"Then why are you here?" I narrowed my eyes. "Is this an audit? I already told you, the Lo & He Law Firm pays its taxes! Mostly!"
She ignored the tax evasion confession. She looked at the door to make sure it was closed. Then, she looked back at me. A bright pink flush spread across her cheeks.
"I am here off the record," Ho Li-Fan whispered. She leaned closer to the bed. Her icy blue eyes dropped down to my stomach, then back up to my face. "I saw what happened in the arena. I felt the heat."
I swallowed hard. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"He Lu," she said, her voice dropping to a husky murmur. "Your Dantian was hollow three days ago. But today... you generated a localized Yang-field so dense it almost cracked the jade floor. The sheer friction of your core... it was staggering."
She reached out. Her cool, slender fingers lightly brushed the blanket covering my chest.
"I just want to know your secret," she breathed, her composure actively melting. "How do you build that kind of pressure? What kind of... caulk... are you using?"
My brain short-circuited.
The Ice Beauty of the Jade Water Sect was leaning over my bed, flushed and breathing heavily, asking about my caulk. It was a literal dream scenario.
But my Earth-realm survival instincts ruined it.
She's wearing a wire, my brain screamed. She knows you used unregulated black-market Amazonian sweat! She's trying to get a recorded confession for illegal doping!
I violently slapped her hand away from the blanket and scrambled backward against the headboard.
"Nice try, Fed!" I yelled, pointing an accusing finger at her nose. "I plead the Fifth! You can't entrap me! My bodily fluids are strictly protected under client-attorney privilege!"
Ho Li-Fan froze. Her hand hovered in the air.
The heavy, romantic tension in the room shattered into a million pieces. The blush faded from her cheeks, instantly replaced by the terrifying, sub-zero aura of the Sect's lead detective.
"You plead... the Fifth," she repeated, her voice turning into a blizzard.
"That's right! I know a sting operation when I see one!" I crossed my arms smugly. "You thought you could bat your eyelashes and get me to admit to unsanctioned meridian enhancements? Get a warrant, Officer!"
Ho Li-Fan stared at me for three long, agonizing seconds. The glass water pitcher on the bedside table literally froze solid and cracked down the middle.
She stood up. She smoothed her dress with sharp, angry movements.
"You are a deeply exhausting man, He Lu," she said coldly. She turned on her heel and marched toward the door.
Just as she reached the exit, the door swung open.
Lo Yu strolled into the infirmary. He was carrying a massive burlap sack that clinked heavily with spirit stones. The goat trotted right behind him, happily chewing on a stolen bandage.
Ho Li-Fan glared at Lo Yu, side-stepped the goat, and slammed the door shut behind her.
"Boss!" I sighed in relief, slumping against the pillows. "You got here just in time. The Feds were trying to honey-trap me! She was asking questions about my Dantian!"
Lo Yu stopped. He looked at the cracked, frozen water pitcher. He looked at my smug face.
He slowly lowered the heavy sack of money to the floor. He pulled out his bamboo pipe, stuck it in his mouth unlit, and stared at the ceiling.
"Junior Associate," Lo Yu rasped, his voice filled with profound, heavy sorrow. "I am going to use these fifty mid-grade spirit stones to buy a very large brick. And then, I am going to hit you in the head with it until you understand how the world works."
"What? Why?" I asked, genuinely confused. "I protected the firm's secrets!"
"Just go to sleep, boy," Lo Yu muttered, sitting down in the chair Ho Li-Fan had just vacated. "The real world calls tomorrow. And we have a custody battle to prepare for."