The Jade Water Sect was a beacon of purity in the Southern Province. Its floating islands were connected by shimmering bridges of hard-light ice. Its disciples wore pristine blue and white robes, cultivating the Dao of Tranquility, their minds as clear and untroubled as a frozen lake.
At least, that was the brochure.
Deep in the outer ring of the Sect, in a moderately-sized disciple pavilion, the Dao of Tranquility was currently being violently disrespected.
Junior Sister Gou-Na lay completely upside-down on her couch. Her head was hanging off the edge, her hair pooled on the floor in a chaotic nest, and she was wearing a pair of extremely oversized, heavily-stained grey sweat-robes that technically violated seven different Sect dress codes. The stains? A crusty mosaic of dried grool, chip crumbs, and whatever bodily fluids she'd managed to squirt out during her last marathon session.
The floor of her pavilion was a disaster zone. Empty spirit-soda gourds, crumpled talismans smeared with suspicious white residue, and half-eaten bags of spicy spirit-chips littered the pristine white jade tiles. A jade dildo—still glistening from recent use—rolled lazily under the table, buzzing faintly like it was on low power mode.
Gou-Na wasn't meditating. She was holding a glowing, rectangular Scrying Jade inches from her face, her eyes wide and completely glazed over in a state of profound, degenerate focus. Her free hand was buried deep in her sweatpants, fingers working furiously on her slick, throbbing clit as she edged herself to the brink.
The jade was projecting a high-definition, illicitly smuggled illusion-recording of the Iron-Hide Beast Taming Sect's annual "Summer Training Camp." Specifically, it was a slow-motion montage of massive, sweaty, shirtless men swinging hammers in the sun, their bulging cocks outlined through tight pants, ballsacks swinging like pendulums with each thrust.
"Oh, Heavens," Gou-Na whispered to herself, aggressively shoveling a handful of spicy chips into her mouth without breaking eye contact with the jade—or stopping her frantic fingering. "Look at the localized Yang-density on that bicep. The vascularity. That's a Heavenly Tribulation right there. I'd let him pound my sloppy cunt until I squirt like a broken fountain."
She swiped her finger across the jade, skipping to the next glowing projection—a close-up of a blacksmith's ass clenching as he hammered, sweat dripping down his crack like forbidden nectar.
As she shifted on the couch, her oversized robes slipped, revealing the tragic reality of her own cultivation journey. Junior Sister Gou-Na was as flat as a polished cutting board. Her Yin-vessel had completely failed to manifest any topographical features whatsoever—no juicy tits to jiggle, no perky nipples to tweak while she gooned.
She paused the Scrying Jade, looking down at her completely flat chest. She let out a heavy, miserable sigh, a piece of chip crumbing onto her collarbone—right where her non-existent cleavage should've caught it.
"Three hundred years of ancestral Jade Water genetics," Gou-Na grumbled, poking her own ribs while her other hand idly circled her soaked pussy lips. "And I get the aerodynamic profile of a wooden plank. Meanwhile, Fairy Su-Mi over in the Soaring Crane Sect gets 'accidental' load-bearing boulders installed. Where is my botched alchemy? I would gladly ruin my center of gravity for just a handful of Yin-spheres. Just a handful! Is that so much to ask the Heavenly Dao? Imagine pinching those fat nipples while I ram a dildo up my ass—fuck, I'd cum buckets."
She aggressively swiped back to the sweaty blacksmiths, seeking visual comfort for her physical inadequacies. Her fingers plunged deeper into her dripping hole, slurping sounds filling the room as she scooped out a glob of her thick grool and licked it off like nectar, moaning at the salty-sweet tang.
KNOCK. KNOCK.
The sudden, sharp rapping on her pavilion door sounded like cracking ice.
"Junior Sister Gou-Na. Are you present?"
Gou-Na froze. It was the voice of Senior Sister Ho Li-Fan. The Head of Sect Law Enforcement. The Ice Beauty herself.
Panic, absolute and pure, flooded Gou-Na's system.
In a terrifying display of martial agility that she never used for actual combat, Gou-Na exploded off the couch. She kicked the empty gourds under the rug. She shoved the illicit Scrying Jade into a hidden floorboard compartment—along with her still-vibrating dildo. She ripped off her stained sweat-robes, revealing a perfectly pressed, immaculate Jade Water Sect uniform underneath (though her panties were still soaked through).
She slapped her cheeks, straightened her posture, and smoothed her expression into a mask of serene, untouchable purity—while discreetly wiping her sticky fingers on the inside of her sleeve.
It took exactly 1.2 seconds. The Dao of the Goblin was a pathway to many abilities some considered to be... unnatural.
"Enter, Senior Sister," Gou-Na called out, her voice a gentle, melodic chime. She picked up a feather duster and pretended to gracefully clean a bookshelf.
The door slid open. Ho Li-Fan stepped inside.
Gou-Na immediately noticed something was wrong. The Ice Beauty, the most composed woman in the entire province, looked... slightly unhinged. There was a faint, frantic pink flush on her cheeks, and a very subtle wisp of steam was curling from the collar of her robes, like she had just sprinted out of a sauna—or gotten railed by a forbidden lover.
Whoa, Gou-Na thought, her inner goblin perking up. Senior Sister is down astronomical. Who managed to melt the Ice block? Bet her pussy's steaming like a hot spring right now.
"Junior Sister," Ho Li-Fan said, her voice a little too tight, completely failing to notice the faint smell of spicy spirit-chips and fresh grool in the room. "You are in charge of registering the independent, external guests for the Inner Sect Tournament, correct?"
"Yes, Senior Sister," Gou-Na bowed perfectly. "I ensure all outsiders are properly vetted and assigned to the guest lodgings. The Dao of Hospitality."
"Good," Ho Li-Fan swallowed hard, her eyes darting away for a fraction of a second. "A... special contractor is arriving tomorrow at dawn. He is entering the tournament as an independent wildcard to assist Law Enforcement with an internal matter."
Ho Li-Fan handed Gou-Na a sealed jade file.
"His name is He Lu," Ho Li-Fan continued, her voice dropping a terrifying octave. "He is incredibly dangerous. He possesses a highly unorthodox, highly volatile cultivation method. He is vulgar, he is unpredictable, and he travels with a demonic goat. You are to register him, assign him his locker, and monitor his movements. Do not let him wander the Sect unsupervised."
Gou-Na blinked. An unpredictable, vulgar outsider? With a volatile cultivation method? Her degenerate brain immediately started spinning—imagining him bending her over, stuffing her tight holes while that goat watched like a perverted mascot.
"Understood, Senior Sister," Gou-Na said demurely. "I shall treat him with the utmost caution. What Sect does this dangerous rogue hail from?"
Ho Li-Fan pressed two fingers against her temple, looking like she was fighting a migraine and a sudden hot flash simultaneously—steam now visibly wafting from her sleeves as her arousal simmered.
"He is a Litigation Master," Ho Li-Fan muttered. "From the Lo & He Law Firm."
Ho Li-Fan turned and quickly marched out of the pavilion, leaving a trail of slightly melted frost on the floorboards—and a faint, musky scent that made Gou-Na twitch.
Gou-Na stood in the center of her room, holding the jade file.
The door clicked shut.
Gou-Na's perfect, serene posture instantly dissolved. She slumped her shoulders, let out a massive breath, and scratched her flat chest—fingers brushing her hard nipples through the uniform.
"A Litigation Master?" Gou-Na muttered, opening the file. "Wait a minute... Lo & He? The ones who sued the Heavenly Pill Pavilion?"
She read the brief. Her eyes went wide.
He Lu was the guy who had successfully sued an alchemist for accidentally giving Fairy Su-Mi massive, gravity-defying breasts. He was the guy who had legally weaponized agricultural seduction. He was a master of exploiting the loopholes of the Heavens.
Gou-Na looked down at her own chest. Then she looked back at the file. A slow, greedy, incredibly goblin-like grin spread across her face—her hand already slipping back into her pants for a quick celebratory rub.
"Oh, Mr. Lawyer," Gou-Na whispered, her eyes shining with degenerate hope. "If you can sue an alchemist for giving someone too much Yin-asset... I wonder if you can sue my genetics for giving me absolutely none. Maybe we can arrange a little settlement out of court—your cock in my throat for some titty-growth pills?"
She tossed the file onto the couch, retrieved her Scrying Jade from the floorboards, and went right back to watching sweaty blacksmiths, already plotting how to extort the firm's Junior Associate for free plastic-surgery-by-lawsuit—while fingering herself to the thought of her future massive, milky tits bouncing as she got fucked senseless.
### Chapter 23: The Gooner's Lament and the Dao of the Sticky Fingers
The morning after the Glass Lotus hit me like a hangover from hell. My robes were crusty, my gut hummed with that faint spark, and Lo Yu wouldn't shut up about my "premature tribulation." We were back at the firm, the wine-barrel desk wedged in its spot, the goat chewing on a loose floorboard. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, trying to ignore the sticky reminder in my pants.
"Boss," I groaned, rubbing my temples. "Can we not dissect my Dao breakthrough like it's a court case? It was embarrassing enough without the play-by-play."
Lo Yu puffed his pipe, his missing-tooth grin wide. "Embarrassing? Boy, that's the sign of true progress. Your first seal, sealed with your own essence. Poetic, in a degenerate way. But tell me—did you blow your load like a virgin touching his first gusset? Bet that curvy fairy's fingers had you squirting like a busted pill furnace. Premature tribulation, eh? Next time, try edging—build that caulk before you spurt it all over your robes like a sloppy junior."
I flushed, squirming. "Boss, come on. It was... intense. That taste hit, and boom—Dantian ignition and pants ruination. Can we drop it?"
Lo Yu cackled, whacking the barrel. "Drop it? Boy, that's your origin story now! The Dao of the Quickshot Seal. We'll bill it as a firm specialty—'Come early, cultivate hard.'"
Before I could fire back, the door creaked open. In shuffled a meek-looking woman in faded blue sect robes, her hair tied in a messy bun, eyes darting like she expected the walls to judge her. She was cute in a shut-in way—pale skin, slender frame, small chest that she seemed to hunch over self-consciously. An inner disciple badge glinted on her sash.
"Um... is this the Lo & He Law Firm?" she whispered, barely audible over the goat's munching.
Lo Yu leaned forward. "It is. State your grievance, Fairy."
She fidgeted, glancing at me. "I'm Fairy Gou Na. I... I heard about your case with that Flaming Sun Sect lady. The one with the... pill mishap."
Flaming Sun Sect? I blinked, then it clicked—Fairy Che-Ting was the three-breath divorce.
But then I remembered the offhand mentions from Magistrate Chen's meltdown: the "load-bearing pill victims," like Fairy Su-Mi, who'd wrecked the plaintiff's desk with her aerodynamic chest after Grandmaster Pill-Cauldron fed her boob-growth pills instead of stamina boosters, turning her into a walking structural hazard.
"You mean the pill lawsuit? The one where the lady's boobs grew so huge they caused property damage?" I asked, piecing it together.
Gou Na's eyes widened, her cheeks turning pink. She leaned in, whispering, "The pills. The ones that made her... bigger. I need them. For... reasons."
Lo Yu stroked his beard. "Enhancement elixirs? Those are regulated. Black-market stuff. Why come to us?"
She bit her lip, looking ready to bolt. "I searched everywhere. Apothecaries, back-alley dealers, even the outer sect markets. Everyone pointed me here. Said you... acquired some as evidence in that case against the alchemist."
I snorted, crossing my arms. "Acquired? We sued for them. But wait—Fairy Gou Na? As in... gooner? You a big pervert who spends all her time masturbating in your seclusion chamber?"
The words slipped out before I could stop them. Classic Earth-brain filter failure. Gou Na's face went from pink to beet red. She froze, eyes bulging like I'd slapped her.
"W-what? How did you—? No! I mean, that's not—!" She stammered, backing toward the door, hands flailing. "I'm just a quiet disciple! Meek! Harmless!"
Lo Yu chuckled. "Junior Associate, mind your tongue. Though... the name does invite speculation."
She stopped, fists clenched, trembling. "You... you don't know me! I don't... I mean, it's not like that!"
But her denial cracked. She glanced around, then exploded. "Fine! Yes! I'm a gooner! A total shut-in pervert! I lock myself in my chamber all day, flicking the bean like it's my full-time Dao!"
The office went silent. Even the goat stopped chewing.
She paced now, ranting in vulgar detail, her meek shell shattering. "You have no idea! I start slow, teasing my clit with light circles until it's swollen and begging. Then I dip in, one finger, two, curling up to hit that spot that makes my toes curl. My grool? Oh, it's thick, sticky, tastes like salty honey— I scoop it up and suck it off my fingers while I grind on my jade dildo. The big one, ribbed for that extra stretch. I edge for hours, building until I'm a shaking mess, then crash over the edge, squirting all over my sheets. And my toys? I've got a collection—vibrating eggs, anal beads that I pull out slow during climax. It's my escape, my heaven! But these tiny tits? They ruin it! I want them huge, bouncy, so I can play with them while I goon!"
Her voice echoed, breathless, eyes glazed with passion. It was sexy as hell—raw, unfiltered, her body language shifting from meek to commanding as she described it. I stared, my own spark flickering, pants tightening again.
Lo Yu nodded solemnly. "The Dao of the Sticky Fingers. Respectable path."
Before I could respond, the door banged open. The old milk tea crone hobbled in, her massive, sagging boobs swinging like pendulums under her open robes. "Hot milk tea! Freshly brewed..."
Gou Na froze, staring at the crone's chest. Her eyes welled up. "It's not fair! Look at those monsters! I want that! Give me the pills!"
She collapsed into a chair, sobbing dramatically. "Why am I cursed with mosquito bites? I just want to squeeze them while I... you know."
The crone cackled. "Skibidi rizz, girlie. Try my tea—puts hair on your chest. Or grows it."
Lo Yu cleared his throat. "Fairy Gou Na, we might have a sample from the case. But it'll cost you. Retainer?"
She wiped her eyes, nodding fiercely. "Anything. Just make me... enhanced."
I grinned. Another degenerate client. The firm was thriving.