After working all afternoon, as night fell, Orochimaru's pregnancy-tailored nutritious lunch was finally ready under Hinowa's anxious anticipation!
"Eat. Finish all of it."
At the dining table, Hinowa watched as Orochimaru spoke coldly, yet she inexplicably felt that this man might actually be quite awkward and… cute.
...
Just as Hinowa's perception of Orochimaru was slowly changing, the village's rumors about Orochimaru and the courtesan grew wilder and more outrageous by the day.
Did Orochimaru care? Of course not!
But the doctor had warned that pregnant women must maintain a relaxed and happy mood during pregnancy.
If Hinowa heard these rumors and became upset…
So, Orochimaru immediately sought out Danzo.
However, Danzo was currently in the midst of his who-knows-how-many episode of intermittent senile dementia and memory loss.
Realizing that this version of Danzo couldn't help him—and might even infect him with his condition—Orochimaru left the Root headquarters and arrived at Minato's doorstep at six in the morning, ringing the doorbell.
Why so early?
Because after discussing matters with Minato at this hour, he could still make it to the market in time to buy the freshest batch of vegetables and fruits, ensuring today's nutritional intake for the pregnant woman wouldn't be delayed.
Minato, who had worked until 3 a.m. the previous night and even made a late-night snack for a hungry Kushina, opened the door and stared blankly at Orochimaru, unsure what to say.
"Minato, I need to talk to you."
Orochimaru was concise, completely ignoring the dark circles under Minato's eyes.
"Uh… Orochimaru-sama, could we maybe wait until later in the morning—"
"No. Now."
Seeing Orochimaru's resolute attitude, leaving no room for even an extra hour of sleep, Minato could only sigh and nod in resignation.
"Alright. Let me get dressed. We'll meet at the Hokage's office in five minutes."
"Three."
With those words, Orochimaru turned and left, giving Minato no chance to refuse.
As if he'd waste even a minute—otherwise, he'd miss the freshest fish at the market!
Minato: "..."
...
In the bedroom, Minato, now dressed, crouched down and spoke softly to Kushina, who was rubbing her sleepy eyes in bed.
"Kushina, I'll be quick. Trust me."
"Mm, I know."
Upon hearing this response, Minato lowered his head to plant a gentle kiss on her forehead before vanishing from the bedroom with the Flying Thunder God technique.
After Minato left, Kushina let out a big yawn and muttered under her breath.
"Honestly, it wouldn't matter if he didn't come back to make breakfast... I'd rather sleep until noon..."
.....
At exactly 6:03, Minato appeared in the Hokage's office, where Orochimaru, who had been waiting, wasted no time skipping the pleasantries and getting straight to the point.
"This needs to be resolved, and quickly."
After placing a small stack of rumor summaries on the desk, Orochimaru didn't wait for Minato's response and disappeared again with the Body Flicker Technique.
After all... the morning market waits for no one!
Minato stared at the rumor summaries left by Orochimaru, his expression was a mix of helplessness and speechlessness.
This Orochimaru was truly too much to handle!
And...
He really had been trying to curb the spread of rumors, but the effect was minimal.
He couldn't possibly impose a gag order on the ordinary villagers of Konoha, could he?
Kill anyone who talks about it?
Would anyone believe that Konoha could end up with tens of thousands of bachelors in just a week?
Using the Flying Thunder God to arrive at the market, Minato picked out the freshest meat, eggs, and milk while pondering how to handle this situation.
Slap!
Seeing the pale hand that had simultaneously chosen the same fish as him, Minato—both as the Hokage and as a husband—found himself in a dilemma.
In the end, he decided to negotiate first, seeing if the other party would yield or agree to split it.
However...
Upon realizing the owner of the hand was none other than Orochimaru, who was carrying a shopping basket, Minato was left utterly speechless by the sheer absurdity of the situation.
"I saw it first."
Orochimaru stated flatly, and Minato could even sense the suppressed killing intent emanating from him.
It was as if Orochimaru would truly attack him if he disagreed!
...
This is such a pain!
...
At 9 a.m., after racking his brain and failing to come up with a good way to stop the rumors, Minato tossed the problem to the Third Hokage.
"Minato, when dealing with problems, don't always think of the ordinary, seemingly reasonable methods. While they ensure no mistakes, sometimes they just don't work. Handling issues requires flexibility, unorthodox approaches, and the courage to innovate!"
Watching the Third Hokage puff on his large pipe and speak with such profound wisdom, Minato quickly sought the old man's secret advice.
The Third Hokage smiled mysteriously and then generously offered a hint.
"I heard Gintoki is coming back today."
Minato: ...
Couldn't you just admit you don't have a good solution either?
...
Looking at the extremely detailed mission report Gintoki had submitted—which included descriptions of what time he picked his nose, when he scratched his butt, when he farted, and even what kind of erotic dreams he had at night—Minato still didn't know how to react.
"Uh... Gintoki, next time, the mission report doesn't need to be this detailed..."
"Wasn't it you who told Gin-san to write the mission report in excruciating detail? How fickle of those in power~ First you demand one thing, then another. Us common folk without any rights really are just playthings for the powerful, aren't we~ Hokage-sama? Unlike you authority figures, we bottom-tier citizens are already giving our all just to survive! So stop making such unreasonable demands!"
Minato didn't mind Gintoki's deliberately provocative sarcasm as he watched the silver-haired man's extremely lazy demeanor—dead fish eyes and pinky finger digging at his nose.
After mentally noting the last two sentences, Minato spoke again.
"Gintoki, anyway, try to be more concise next time. And... there's another slightly troublesome matter..."
Seeing Minato hesitate and struggle to bring up the issue, Gintoki casually flicked the black boogers from his pinky towards the Third Hokage's direction.
"Troublesome matter? No worries, no worries. At least eighty percent of life is nothing but hardships. You'll encounter even more troublesome things than this in the future, so don't sweat the current problems."
"Oh, thank you..." Minato reflexively expressed gratitude before catching himself.
"Wait! I didn't ask for comfort! I need suggestions to solve the problem!"
"Should've said so earlier. What's the problem? Has your marriage hit the seven-year itch already? Don't worry about that. Just sweet-talk a bit—whether it's women or octopuses, they'll all come wagging their tails happily."
"That's not the issue... No, I mean, there's absolutely no problem between me and Kushina!"
Minato sighed deeply, massaging his forehead, forced to admit he sometimes couldn't keep up with Gintoki's train of thought.
"Well, Gintoki..."
The Third Hokage suddenly spoke up with unusual seriousness.
Minato mentally thanked this savior who hadn't been derailed by Gintoki's nonsense.
"Women don't have tails, you know."
At this addition, Minato nearly spat out his drink, his eye twitching as dark lines covered his forehead.
He'd been waiting for the Third to get to the point!
Had even his thinking been completely sidetracked?!
"Octopuses don't either," Gintoki stated matter-of-factly.
"Is that so..." The Third nodded before lowering his head into deep contemplation.
Women... octopuses... tails...
Finally deciding this couldn't continue, Minato forcefully steered the conversation back on track, getting straight to the point without any detours.
"Tch!"
Upon hearing the news about Orochimaru becoming a father, Gintoki clicked his tongue.
"That bastard's living the good life and still isn't satisfied? No way! Gin-san absolutely refuses!"
"I have free coupons for that new dessert shop..."
"Yorozuya Gin-san at your service!"
Minato: "..."
"Solving this problem is actually quite simple. Didn't we have a similar case before?"
"Hmm?" Minato frowned.
"You know, that one—'I Have a Secret'..."
Minato: "???"
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Orochimaru turn into a family man! a yandere one at that 🤣
I upload a new fanficc, it was demon slayer feel free to read it.