Respect is not always apparent.
It sometimes occurs behind the scenes (i.e., who gets heard vs. who doesn't).
There was a difference between the first day (the day before) vs. today.
The same noise; the same groups; the same rhythm of the room.
But what Loid saw differently today was the way that Loid practised who others chose to listen to.
Charlotte: "…and the answer is this," as she gently tapped her notebook.
No one interrupted her.
No one questioned her for the first time.
All of the students listened.
All of them nodded.
Ava said: "Yeah, that makes sense."
Mia: "Yeah, I agree."
Simple.
Natural.
Effortless.
Loid sat behind the group of students who were tornadoing around Charlotte's knowledge.
No question, Charlotte knew what she was talking about.
What Loid found fascinating is how easily Charlotte's class accepted the information that Charlotte shared, but even more fascinating was how Charlotte led the other students without trying.
"Loid", Mr. Harrison looked at Loid who was sitting behind Charlotte.
"What's your answer"?
For a second - Loid's mind went blank because everyone was looking at him.
Loid's grip on his pen tightened lightly.
"It's B."
As usual, Loid's voice was not loud; however, his voice was not weak either.
Mr. Harrison paused, and then nodded, "Correct".
Several students turned away from Loid, and the moment passed.
Just like that.
No one paid attention to Loid.
No one acknowledged Loid.
Looked back down at his notebook once more.
Same correct answer.
Different impression created.
Charlotte provided another answer a few moments later.
This time, Mr. Harrison had a slight grin on his face.
"That is a good answer."
Several other students had reactions to participate.
Little things.
But collectively add ups.
And he just happened to notice everything.
Every single detail.
Every single difference.
"You're over thinking this."
The voice Jay spoke low beside him just loud enough that Loid would be able to hear.
Loid did not look at Jay.
"I'm not," he replied.
"You are." Jay said with an informal disconnect to what he was talking about. "You've looked at the same answer for five minutes."
Loid let out a quiet breath.
"Do you think we listen to different individuals differently?"
Jay looked to one side interested. "What does that mean?"
"Listening to different people." Loid quipped back. "Same answer but b no reaction to the answer when it is Charlotte."
Jay briefly followed his line of sight.
Charlotte.
Then leaning back a little.
"Yeah."
Loid furrowed his brow. "Why do you say that?"
Jay shrugged his shoulders. "Because it is Charlotte."
"That's not a good explanation."
"It is," Jay stated. "People expect her to be correct; therefore, they will listen to her."
Loid tightened his grip a little.
"And I?"
Jay took a little time to think and answer.
Just his laps of time may have been enough.
"…You will be," Jay finally replied honestly without being cruel or sophomoric.
Loid slowly nodded.
That was good reason that he was sure about the answer that he was answering to; far greater than Loid ever was before.
Once again.
The class was still in session but now Loid was no longer paying attention to Charlotte.
He was now focused on the things around her.
The way people reacted to her; the way people were looking at her; the way she used space without asking for it.
And for the first time...
He wasn't just admiring her.
He was watching her.
After class, all of the students were beginning to pack up.
The chairs were being moved and talking resumed.
Charlotte was standing talking with Ava like she did before, laughing softly and being the calmest of all the students.
Loid took his time closing his notebook.
He wasn't rushing or hesitating; just thinking.
Jay threw his bag over his shoulder.
"So what's the plan?" he asked.
Loid stood.
He had a calm look on his face; however, his eyes were different now. They had more focus than before.
"First," he said softly, "I have to stop freezing when people look at me."
Jay raised an eyebrow. "That's a good start to make."
"And then?" Jay asked.
Loid looked to the front of the class for the second time and saw Charlotte in her own world still.
"And then," he said, "I will make sure they don't ignore me after that."
Jay raised an eyelash.
"...That sounds like a plan to me."
Loid didn't answer him.
This was the first time he had not thought about how far behind he was.
He was thinking about what he was going to do next.
And that…
made all the difference.