It was late afternoon when the tired, sore, but satisfied group of pirates that was the closest we had to our 'best and brightest' (God help us) settled down in the dishevelled remains of Helheim. Nary an individual was unscathed, and as much alcohol flowed on bodies as into them.
"Can I say something really quick?"
Several pairs of eyes fell on the orange-bandana'd dugong who'd spoken, an ice pack soothing his skull and a convenient ice block doing the same thing for his tail.
"I just want to correct something I've said in the past: if it's a stupid idea and it works… sometimes, it's still a really stupid idea, Cross."
"Hear, hear," deadpanned the entirety of the main bar.
"Not my smartest idea, I'll admit," I mumbled out through the bandages that covered every unarmored inch of my body. Made me dread what I'd be going through soon, leaving my future self looking like this 24/7. "But it was the fastest way to get everyone to listen without anyone biting anyone's head off. More specifically, my head."
"Do we really look like we need the Voices of Anarchy rattling our skulls right now?" Drake snarled.
"You have a bad track record with TYRANNOSAURUSES," Soundbite chuckled.
"Actually, on closer inspection, I believe him to be an Allosaurus," Robin chimed in halfway across the room, surreptitiously hiding her smile behind her cup.
"I demand the opinion of a proctologist!"
"You mean a paleontologist."
"SOMEONE GET ME A LINGUIST!"
"The reason you want to listen to me," I cut in over the (mercifully) hushed conversation, very happy that my bandages made it easy to hide my smirk. "Is that if this is what we've been driven to after only one week of that blockade, I don't think any of us like the idea of being forced to sit around any longer. So, you want me to take charge of the discussion and actually help us all figure something out, or would you rather we keep ramming our heads against the iron curtain until something—be it them or us—breaks?"
The Supernovas exchanged looks. Finally, Kid snapped his fingers at me, grimacing and clutching the strained digits the next second.
"You get one chance, Cross," he spat.
"That's all I've ever needed," I smirked in response. "Now, let's start by looking at what we know about the blockade. Surgeon of Death."
Law cocked an eyebrow at me.
"Since you have a submarine, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you're not here with us because of the good service, am I right?"
Law's eyes narrowed slightly, and he nodded. "Right on the money, Cross. Yeah, whoever put together this blockade? They were smart about it. The blockade ships have towed torpedoes attached to their hulls, which makes it hard enough to go under them." His gaze sharpened. "But their 'first line of defence' is an even bigger problem. Anyone here ever heard of Territorial Sea Slugs?"
"THOSE SHELL-LESS SLIME-RAGS!?" Soundbite roared out of nowhere, veins popping up on his eyestalks. "I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED THEM to be a part of something as underhanded as this!"
"So I take it you've heard of them," I deduced, digging my finger around in my ear to try and get rid of the ringing.
"I have too," Lola scowled, rubbing her chin in thought. "Aquatic cousins of Transponder Snails, they float beneath the waves and convey information on anything that comes past them. Any ship that tries to sail over them gets spotted instantly."
"And trust me on this, they are ARROGANT little shits about how they can suck saltwater without problem, ALWAYS RUBBING IT IN US TRANSPONDERS' EYESTALKS!" Soundbite spat, audibly grinding his teeth. "IF YOU'RE EXPECTING THEM TO LISTEN WHEN I TELL THEM TO CLAM IT, NO DICE."
"Couldn't you just rattle their fluid-based pseudo-skeletons with a Gastro-Phony?" Donny suggested.
"NERD!…and, no. Some of 'em, easily, BUT NOT ALL OF THEM, WHICH IS THE PROBLEM; the rest would just RAISE THE ALARM ON WHATEVER PART OF THE NET WENT DOWN. They're assholes, but coordinated assholes, I'll give them that."
"The Marines must really be putting their all into this blockade if they have enough of them to encircle the archipelago… and all of this just for little old us? I'm kind of flattered, really," Nami purred.
"So, evading detection is problem one. And Kid, how organized was their formation?"
The punk snorted and looked away. "Half and half, honestly. The first bastards I ran into were run-of-the-mill tar-flags: pretty tough, sure, but nothing dangerous." And then his scowl deepened. "The problem was that they managed to latch onto my ship and hold us up long enough for more ships to show up, only those were Marine battleships. They kept up such a hail of lead that even I couldn't clear us a path. We could have broken through; we even managed to sink a few privateers and a battleship, but they just... Kept. Coming. And right when they were really starting to piss me off…"
"Kizaru, right, right…" I waved him off, and this time it was without mockery. Seriously, if anyone here knew how little shame there is in booking it from an Admiral, it was our crew.
"I have to admit that I'm curious, Kid," Drake noted. "If memory serves, the ship you hijacked and renamed was originally a limited production Marine steamship, and if you're tolerating a child on your crew, I can only assume it's because she knows what she's doing. How did a bunch of privateers hold you up when you had that on your side?"
"Because we were up against tar-flags and we wanted to be thorough, and that bought their reinforcements enough time," Killer growled out. "They were outright insane, shoved their ship in front of ours, kept grappling the Tramp with chains they had fixed to their own deck and around the masts, things like that. And whenever their ships started to give up the ghost, they just boarded their neighbours and kept it up. They did everything possible to slow us down and force us to a halt, no matter the costs, to their ships or themselves."
CRACK!
There was a brief lull in the conversation as everyone tried to figure out where the sound of pure RAGE and destruction had come from. Everyone outside of my crew, anyway.
"Franky, Merry, I don't think we'll have time to get your complete pounds of flesh this time," I deadpanned without looking.
"You don't know that," came the dual snarls.
"He might not, but I do."
That broke through my feigned apathy, and I looked over to Drake, who was glaring intently at the center of the table through pyramided hands.
"What you don't quite grasp is that nobody likes privateers," the pseudo-saurian explained. "The Marines see them as just another brand of pirate to put down. It is only because of contracts with the World Government and the larger trading companies that privateer ships and fleets other than the Seven Warlords' are allowed to remain operational. If the Marines have been pushed into employing them directly, then it is only because they have a gun to the privateers' heads. Proverbial or literal. These privateers are going to such extreme lengths because they have no other choice. They can either chance death by putting their all into trying to stop us… or guarantee it by failing and earning themselves one-way tickets to Impel Down."
Drake then snarled and glanced aside. "Which, satisfying as it may be, honestly makes our chances worse, because we all know what they say about cornered rats. The privateers will be as dangerous as the battleships."
His piece said, he looked to cede the floor to me, but I waved him on again. "Hey, you seem to be on a roll. If you've got an insider's perspective on this whole thing, then the floor is yours."
Drake suspiciously eyed me, but not for long. Instead, he moved his gaze to my immediate superior. "Weather Witch. Your clouds have proven versatile thus far. Could you provide—?"
Almost instantly, the table was swamped with a white mass, one that swiftly shifted from fluffy and formless into a swaying pane of 'water'. Smack in the middle was a miniature collection of trees I recognized as Sabaody, while on the edge was a hazy clump that could only be us.
Drake nodded stoically, high thanks coming from him, and continued with his explanation. "As stated, the first concern is the Sea Slugs." The cloudy map shifted to display a line of squirming lumps a good distance out from the archipelago. "They won't impede us on their own, but they'll give our enemies first warning of any incoming vessels; by the time we reach the actual blockade, they'll have reinforcements ready to greet us."
"Hm… troublesome… meaning that by the time we actually start fighting, we're already halfway to getting swamped…" Apoo mused, raising a finger. "Just a thought, but could we spoof the slugs? Ya know, send a small ship somewhere to spook 'em, then when the blockade looks one way we go the other?"
A simple idea, and to my mind a good one, but unfortunately, Drake's response was a firm shake of his head. "Wouldn't work," he stated. "Because the slugs are only meant to act as a 'something here' sort of warning. To actually mobilize the blockade fleet, someone needs to get actual eyes on the target. Something like what you're proposing would either be dismissed as a false positive or raise the alert across the line, but either way, no gaps would open. Which brings us to the fleet itself…"
Drake trailed off as he stared at the freshly cloud-crafted ships, and then he looked back at Nami. "You noticed it too, did you?"
"Of course," Nami replied matter-of-factly. "I'm a navigator worth my salt, I'd have to be blind to not notice."
"Eh? The hell are you talking about?" Bartolomeo demanded, giving the table an incredulous look. "And why'd you only show half the ships and slugs?"
And indeed, he seemed to be right: the lines of both vessels and mollusks seemed to be half-formed, depicting a horseshoe-shaped formation around the archipelago, leaving half the archipelago defended but the other half conspicuously open.
"Because that's exactly how they're arranged," Drake explained slowly, as though talking to a child, but before Barto's hackles could truly get up, he shook his head dismissively. "And before you ask, no, we can't go through the opening. Do I really need to explain why?"
"You only wish everyone else in this room was as smart as you and me," Nami answered in a long-suffering tone.
Drake let out a quiet snort of agreement, which got more than a few bulging veins from the other Supernovas, but thankfully, Nami continued before anyone could protest.
"What most of you seem to be missing," our navigator stated, a bit too slowly. "Is that the unprotected side of the island, the northwest approach?"
That got reactions from more than a few of the Supernovas, though the more clueless ones remained… well, clueless.
"What's the big deal about where the hell the gap is?!" Barto impatiently demanded.
"The Red Line lies on that side of the ocean, dumbass," Bege sighed in resignation, Nami helpfully providing a visual in the form of a mountainous wall of cloud. "And atop it—"
"Mariejois…" I finished with a disgusted grimace. "In all its resplendent, unholy glory. And I'm guessing that the defences are as impressive as the city itself is ostentatious?"
"Hole in one, Cross," Vivi piped up from the sidelines. "We wouldn't even need to be within sight of the Red Line itself; their mortars are so powerful. All they'd need to do is spot us… and then they'd simply bury us in a rain of hot lead we wouldn't even have a chance of defending ourselves against."
"Alright, alright, so the only way in is to go through," Urouge mused, his ever-present grin becoming slightly strained. "Through the pack of faithless privateers who are selling their souls for the freedom to wreak unmitigated havoc."
"Made all the worse by the fact that those very same privateers have Marines commanding their formation," Hawkins quietly interjected. "Ultimately, we can only choose how we clash with the Government. Either we put ourselves at the mercy of Mariejois' defences and hope we don't get blown to pieces, or we endeavour to pierce the strength of the blockade they've erected," was the bland summation. "A blockade with a balanced mix of quality and quantity that guarantees that, even if they cannot truly best any of us, they can stall us out until someone who can shows up. Meaning that unless we have someone who can fight an admiral here—"
"There are some, actually," Law airily interrupted, drumming his fingers on his devil-sword's sheath. "Word around the island is that the proprietor of Oden's Cottage is one of Whitebeard's Division Commanders. I doubt he would say no if—"
"No way."
All eyes turned to Luffy, hitherto silent and now glowering at the center of the table. "We didn't come this far just to ask someone for help getting into the New World," he stated in a voice that brooked no argument. "If we can't get there ourselves, we don't deserve it."
…I honestly had to move my gauntlet over my gut to make sure that I hadn't actually been stabbed, because geeze, that one hurt. It was a good thing everyone's focus was more on Luffy… especially Bartolomeo, who was biting his lip with glowing, teary eyes. Thankfully, the rest of the Supernovas seemed to be nodding in agreement, so that made things easier for us.
"…so, if we're doing this on our own," Law began again. "Then what's the plan of action?"
"…Mmrgh…" Bege grumbled. "Although it almost literally sickens me to say it, I must unfortunately agree with Eustass on this matter—"
"Up yours, shortstack!"
"—in that the simplest and most direct approach is most likely the correct one. All of us together have more firepower at our disposal than most people see in their lifetimes. If we concentrate it all into a single point of assault, then we should be able to break through with relative ease."
"FUCK YEAH!" Kid roared. Half the bar promptly joined him, shaking the room with their will to rampage until Bege sharply cleared his throat.
"Except," he growled, angling his fedora down to shade his eyes. "For the fact that every. Single. The time an operation like this goes down, somebody is left holding the bag. And that's more accurate than ever in this case, seeing as if we want to get past that blockade, we'll want somebody to stay back and tie down the privateers and Marines, like they'll try and tie us up. I'm guessing nobody here volunteers for the position."
That killed everyone's enthusiasm in its tracks, and Helheim lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, nobody willing to look at the others in the eye. I grimaced as I silently admitted that the mobster had a point, and I was just starting to rack my brain for a solution…
"We're not the only ones heading to this Super Body place, right?"
Only to be preempted by the last person any of us had expected.
"Eh?" I blinked in surprise at Luffy and his curious head tilt. "I, uh, yeah? Saba—The Archipelago is the first stop on the only route pirates can take to reach the New World. However many pirates are here on Skelter Bite, it's only a fraction of everyone who wants to get past that blockade."
"Okay," Luffy nodded. "So, if we need to have someone stay behind, then what about all the other pirates that want to go there?"
That snapped everyone's attention to Luffy. Most in shock, sure, but others with dawning realization.
"Wait-wait-wait…" Bonney drew out, waving her hands incredulously. "Are you—Is he saying—?!"
"He's… actually right!" Valentine breathed. "Even if we, the Bartos and the Straw Hats, managed to land the 1% of Paradise's scum in Impel Down, that still leaves the unwashed masses of the 99%, those below Shiki's standards, out roaming the waters! Weak as heck, no doubt… but when a lot of garbage gets piled up in one place at the same time, it can raise a hell of a stink."
That split the reactions in the room down the middle: half were eagerly optimistic, with a savage undertone for the schadenfreude of leaving the worst of our profession to hang… but the other half remained tense and doubtful.
The head of these doubters was, of course, the ever-gloomy Bege. "And how, exactly, do you propose we assemble said 'garbage' to bring about said 'stink'?" he asked through a cloud of smoke.
"The little angry man is right," Urouge nodded, completely ignoring the look of murder that the little man shot at him. "It's a perfect solution, true, but I doubt that we can just invite all of them to come together and fight for us, especially if they're just going to be scapegoats. We would need to motivate them somehow, give them a reason to charge at a line of Marines, heedless of their own lives."
Another tense moment of disappointment as everyone acknowledged the point made…
"…well, hell, guess it's up to me to save all of our skins. Again."
And another moment of utter shock as everyone's incredulous eyes turned to Kid of all people, who glanced at Shuraiya and then back at the rest of us.
"Any of you dumbasses ever heard of the Dead End Race?"
-o-
The details poured out from there, and a solid plan took form. Details regarding the rules and regulations (if they could be called that) for the event in question were disclosed and elaborated upon, and issues regarding the prize, the ignition, and the person to be trusted with the prize money were presented and resolved. Of course, the third one required calling in a rather significant debt, as evidenced by the octopus fishman cowering before our resident Weather Witch.
"A-Anyway, if you don't mind and don't need me for anything else, I'm just going to get back to handing out takoyaki. Does anyone else need anything?"
All of us gathered. Supernovas turned their eyes from Hachi, instead looking at each other. Just waiting for someone to raise another objection. God knows there'd been enough of those during this discussion. And with Bonney and Luffy looking ready to gnaw at the table, we could finally, finally bring this discussion to an—
"From you? Nothing. From everyone else, though, I'll take a second of your time."
"Neptune's hairy ballsack, what now?!" Drake of all pirates snapped as all eyes turned to the speaker, Apis, who looked remarkably unfazed by the entire Worst Generation glaring at her for interrupting. That Lindy's head, a smug, toothy grin set in the jaws, was pointedly hovering over her probably had something to do with the lack of anything pointed flying at her head… yet.
"This had better be good, brat," Kid growled. Well, some things never change.
"Let me preface anything else with the fact that I ate the Whisper-Whisper Fruit," Apis announced, meeting Kid's and every other Supernova's eyes. "What that means is that I can mentally communicate with any animal alive. Including ones that even Soundbite can't translate."
Before anyone could question her, a sonorous "CROAK!" sounded out, and conversation in the bar died yet again. Most everyone—the Supernovas included—got up and looked over the nearest edge into the abyss. But rather than the abyss, it was a titanic yellow frog Sea King staring up at us, crouched on the floor, his bulbous eyes patiently blinking out of synch.
"Including Sea Kings, as we found out during a little…" She snapped a sidelong glare at her unrepentant and snot-picking captain. "Adventure in the Calm Belt some time back." She then shook her head and nodded her head back towards the edge. "And that's important because down there is the Elder Triton of the Abyssal Court, the closest thing the Sea Kings have to a governing body, who's here as an envoy of one of the Court's Grand Elders, Eternal Okeanos." She cocked an expectant eyebrow. "You all interested in what I—and specifically he—has to say now?"
There was a respectful silence from the assembled captains until Hawkins politely cleared his throat. "I believe I speak for all of us when I say that we are most interested in what the honourable Elder has to share," he stated patiently. It really said something that even Kid and Luffy nodded along.
Apis looked back down to Triton, and after a brief pause, the frog let out another sonorous croak and nodded respectfully. The titanic amphibian then started gesturing with its webbed fingers alongside a series of shorter but no less rib-rattling croaks.
The Whisper-Girl nodded along to whatever it was the Sea King was saying, and once it finished, she addressed the Supernovas again. "Elder Triton thanks you for agreeing to hear him out, and says that his presence here today is to act as a messenger for Eternal Okeanos. And he bears his message here, specifically, because what he has to say is for the ears of any who fly the Jolly Roger."
If anyone wasn't interested before, then they were now practically hanging on every word.
"Holy shit," I muttered under my breath.
"Didn't see this coming?" Merry hissed up at me.
"Well…" I shrugged. "I've always known Sea Kings were smarter than they let on and that they had some kind of relation with humanity way back when, but I'm talking Void 'way back'. I expected they'd come into play someday, but…"
"That's a no, then…" Merry donned an ear-to-ear grin. "In-teresting!"
"And what would the Grand Elder's message be?" Drake spoke up.
Apis straightened herself as imperiously as she could… with Lindy looming behind her, of course. "The Abyssal Court is an ancient and proud body, so they, um…" Apis paused, frowning cutely in thought. "Uh, that's a lot of big words… they take a long time to make decisions. The last time they decided at all, it took a century, give or take a decade. So you can guess what a big deal it is that they have decided, near unanimously, to rearrange their kind's priorities over the past several months."
The Whisper-girl raised her head and swept her gaze over the assembled pirates. "It has been decided, by the Abyssal Court, that the Abyssal Ones—or as we know them, the Sea King species— have more to gain from tolerating the existence of pirate ships upon the surface of their domain, rather than removing them for their transgressions."
There was a rather pregnant pause as that sank in.
"…Pardon me, but I find that phrasing to be a bit vague. What does that mean, exactly, for us?" Urouge asked.
Apis looked over her shoulder, speaking slowly as though to make sure that she was delivering the correct message. "The Abyssal Ones will no longer attack pirate ships… just on a whim. They're, ah, not completely safe from attack, because some of the Abyssal Ones will still attack; some because they're hungry, some because you've intruded on their territory, some… just they're mean sons of belug—ah, bitches… but they're safer."
There was a murmur of conversation, and many traded glances at the table. Then, Bonney said, around a mouthful of takoyaki, "Sure, we'll take it."
"Does this mean that we're expected to show the 'Abyssal Ones' the same courtesy?" Law asked carefully.
"Ah…" Apis looked to Triton and then back to Law. "They expect you—us, to leave the younger ones alone, but they never leave the Calm Belts until they can take care of themselves, so in general, best to keep staying out of there like usual." She then shook her head. "Ah, but adults, not really; the Abyssal Ones live by the laws of nature, 'survival of the fittest' and 'might makes right.' Lose a fight, you only have yourself to blame.
"And as I said, while most of the Abyssals will follow the new decree for pirates unless they have some personal reason to attack, there will still be some who want to prove their strength against…" She hesitated, glancing over her shoulder briefly for confirmation before continuing. "Ah… against 'the ones who defy the world.' So, yeah. Might still be some attacks, but, uh, if they attack and then decide to break off and run, I think you can just leave them be; they won't come back."
"So, basically, pirates now have the choice to live and let live with Sea Kings?" Apoo incredulously clarified.
"Basically?" Apis shrugged patiently. "Yeah."
"And I'm guessing they're not interested in telling us why they've decided such a thing?" Hawkins inquired.
Apis, shrugging helplessly, was punctuated by the flat and guttural "CROAK" that echoed throughout the shaft. "I get a bit of clout because I made a good impression on them and I'm the first non-Abyssal entity to speak with them in centuries, but that's still something they'll take to the deepest trenches, so no."
"Reason or not, I think that's everything. So, if I can make one more suggestion?"
And with that, the attention came back to me. This time, I tugged the bandages off to show off my grin. "We've got an armistice with the ocean's greatest predators, and we've got a plan to bust up that blockade. It'll take another few days before we can actually do it, but we've got it. Am I the only one who thinks that this calls for a celebration?"
One second of silence.
Two.
"PARTY!" Luffy, Barto, Apoo, and Bonney all threw their fists up and roared in synch.
And boom goes the bar, the entire place roaring into new and, as usual, pretty damn violent life as everyone somehow got their second wind. Bottles flew, and booze flowed like water, but thankfully, apart from the 'casual' scuffle here or there, the bar didn't reignite into another brawl. Just… a pirate's version of a good time.
But honestly, I had had enough of that for one day, crazy though it seemed for me to say that; there was only one thing between me and relaxation, and with the sudden crescendo in atmosphere, I was given the prime opportunity to take advantage of it. I moved casually to the edge of the platform, and the nearby Damned watched me in their peripheral vision, Soundbite filtering the exchange that followed to them.
"Apis, I need a quick word with Triton."
The young pirate looked away from where Bartolomeo was grabbing chopsticks and cast a subtle glance over her shoulder into the abyss, wherein the titanic frog loosed a low, easily unnoticed warble. "He's listening."
"If the Sea Kings are allowing that truce for 'the ones who defy the world,' then they should know that we have allies within 'the world' itself, acting to undermine them. We could use a way to extend the same protection they're giving us to them."
Tashigi stepped up next to me, casting a wary glance down at the frog. "Speaking as one of those allies, I very much agree to wanting a way to keep Sea Kings off our back that doesn't include firing a full salvo, thank you very much."
I was treated to the wonderfully sanity-defying sight of a giga-frog heaving a sigh as it rubbed its head. "'Humans and their politics, always giving me such headaches. And that's after what that squishy one did to me.' That's what he said."
I hastily hid a cough in my fist before hastily locking that train of thought away to rot, where it couldn't get me smushed.
"Anyway, he also says that's doable. If you give him a password, he'll pass it on to Okeanos, who'll pass it on to the rest of the Court," Apis continued unbothered. "Do you have anything memorable that comes to mind?"
The second the words 'memorable' and 'Sea King' processed through my brain, something immediately came to mind. "I've got something that should stick in their minds, yeah," I hedged, making doubly sure that my bandages were covering my mouth. I then hissed out two words as low as I could manage, trusting that Soundbite would maintain the secrecy.
"Joy Boy."
Tashigi didn't have the chance to even begin questioning my choice; the instant the second syllable was out of my mouth, Triton's eyes bulged and snapped up to stare at me with the same expression Nami had when she found out about those two, and Apis snapped a hand to her head and damn near keeled over. "GAH! What the heck did you just say, Cross?! And whatever you have to say, say it fast because he's seconds away from swallowing you whole!"
"I don't know the details of the promise he made her," I hastily hissed, keeping my gaze firmly locked on Triton's eyes. "All I know is that he made one, that it involves Noah in some way, and that you have remained faithful to it all these years, despite the new world that has risen up. Anything else still rests with you and yours. Nobody else can discover his name the way that I did, and nobody unworthy of your trust will learn it from us. To our allies, they will just be words of salvation and nothing more. You have my oath."
We stared at each other for what felt like several eternities on end, the tension ratcheting up with every passing second, neither I, the puny human, nor he, the titanic, ship-eating sea monster, giving the other an inch.
And then finally… Triton snapped his head down and started crawling away, determination set in his every movement.
"'I'll have all of this back to the Court by the end of the day," Apis translated breathlessly, staring at Triton's retreating with no small amount of trepidation. "'Your allies will be given our favour as well, just—" Apis choked mid-sentence, and had to audibly swallow before continuing. "—just know that should he ever suspect you spread his name frivolously… t-the Eternal Okeanos will… reduce you to so much chum.'"
That drew an uncertain grimace from me. "Right, acknowledged… for the record, what would this 'Okeanos' look like exactly?"
"Black and white stripes."
Now that got me tugging at my collar fearfully. "Ah. The… biggest one I have ever seen in my entire life, who looks like he could and has eaten small islands. Right. We'll, ah…" I coughed into my fist. "We'll be discreet."
"Yeah, you do that," Apis sighed, not even looking up as she climbed onto Lindwyrm's back. "Meanwhile, I'm going to find the strongest thing I can drink without shutting down a kidney in an effort to erase the last few minutes from my memory. While you…" She waved her hand in dismissive surrender. "Well, frankly, until it affects me, I don't care what you do."
"Enjoy~!" Soundbite sang as a way of farewell.
And with that, while she moved to the bar, I began making my way out of Helheim—because Chaos knows that I'd had more than enough madness for the day; case in point, Brook walking past as he pulled Gif out of his skull—along with the half-dozen others on the crew that I think were looking for relaxation over revelry.
Also, well… better to get started on this planning sooner rather than later, right?
"So, everyone had fun?" I asked conversationally, my arms folded behind my head.
"Ohh, yes. I made out like a bandit," Nami hummed with a thoroughly satisfied voice and expression as she fell into step alongside me, looking every bit like a cat who'd sunk her fangs into a juicy canary, which was underlined by the way she kept flipping and snatching a doubloon with one hand.
Soundbite, however, was notably underwhelmed, judging from the dismissive glance he gave the doubloon. "BANDIT MY ASS, the only new money you've got on you IS THAT BERRY!"
"Mmhm, you're right~" the Weather Witch hummed in agreement, her grin widening visibly as she started dancing the coin through her fingers. "All I managed to get was a single beri."
She then turned her head and stared straight at Bege, catching the coin between her two fingers with a massive smile. "Just one. Measly. Spare. Berry." And then her hand flickered, and the coin was just flat-out gone.
Bege blinked at Nami… before throwing his head back and outright roaring with laughter, going so far as to tip his hat to Nami in a gesture of what I could only interpret as a gesture of outright deference.
"…you just got us the eternal friendship of the Firetanks, didn't you?" I summarized incredulously.
"Eh," Nami shrugged in a faux-casual manner, her arms folded behind her back as she walked with just a little more swing to her hips. "At minimum, I got the eternal respect of their boss." She shot me an impish grin. "I do good?"
"Dahlin'," I drawled, slinging my arm around her shoulders as I led us out. "You did beautifully."
-o-
It was hard to say if the results of that meeting made things more or less active around Skelter Bite. On the one hand, having a possible way to get to Sabaody, and soon, helped everyone enjoy their forced shore leave a little more, because they now knew it would (with any luck) only be a matter of a few more days.
On the other hand, with Coo and his flock combing everywhere in a hundred-mile radius for pirate ships, invitations loaded in their saddlebags, Skelter Bite was experiencing a vast influx of clientele, much of which wasn't the kind of pirate we particularly wanted to be with. Lola had taken to spending much of the days at the docks to ensure that anyone who had ill intentions stayed on their ships, and she rarely needed help to keep the thugs in line, either. Hell, some of them didn't even get the chance to reach the docks, the Triangle turning them away outright at its borders.
Well, anyway, if there was one thing that was certain about recent events, it was this: this was going to be a race to remember. And half of the time I had was spent making sure of that fact, putting my expertise into all parts of the planning. The main listeners on my part were our resident passenger-capable birds—Chuchun and Billy—and the Dugongs, both on and off our crew; collectively, they would allow us a view of the blockade from every possible frontal angle. And the plans had already begun to take shape with a few scouting trips here and there.
And the other half? Well… quite honestly, I could fill a book or two with all of the happenings on Skelter Bite, and I wouldn't even have to remember all of them; with the outrageous and the mundane interchangeable, anyone could conceivably make up a ridiculous story of the happenings there and even people who'd been on the island would believe it in a heartbeat. But none of what happened or what I imagined happening compared to the main event, so I'll just give a few highlights for the week in between.
Though, to be sure, it's not as if all that happened during this time was entirely alien…
-o-
SIX DAYS TILL START
The day's surprisingly calm lunch break found my partners and me seated across from our shanghaied cabin girl, at her own request. Or, well, 'partner', at least; Funkfreed was the only one with me, Lassoo and Soundbite hanging out with Pappug, for some reason they didn't deem share-worthy, a few blocks away. No idea why, but meh, Funkfreed's presence was all Tashigi cared about, and so it was all I cared about.
And really, I should have expected this meeting; Tashigi was obsessed with swords, and now she had the unique opportunity to speak to one. Funkfreed may not have been legendary—to both their chagrins—but he still possessed the instincts and experience to answer any questions she had.
And the 'spar' (read: daily deathmatch) between Zoro and Sanji in the background was a nice ambiance. It helped me try to ignore Tashigi's sparkling, fangirl expression.
I'm serious. I could see the sparkles around her and reflected in her eyes. Freaky as hell, it was.
"Alright, I'm ready!" the Marine declared.
"Er, just so you know…" Funkfreed awkwardly said, trunk rubbing the back of his head. "I may be part elephant, but the part of me that's a sword is also the part that handles reproductive instincts, and—"
"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" Taking a deep breath, Tashigi recomposed herself, thankfully minus the sparkles. "I just… I think that it's such a shame that works of art are being used for petty violence. The 50 Skilled Swords, the 21 Great Swords, and the 12 Supreme Swords! They're things of beauty twisted into instruments of destruction. A sword should only be raised to keep the peace! Instead, they're used to perpetuate the cycle of violence that—!"
THWACK!
I flinched at the sound of flesh hitting flesh, but much to my surprise—and Funkfreed's, from the stiff, unnatural positioning of his trunk—it wasn't my pachyderm-sword that had cut off Tashigi's rant, but Tashigi herself, who'd just slammed one fist onto the other, which had been slowly clenching up on the table as her rant had gained steam.
She stayed frozen in that position for about half a minute, her teeth grinding together. Slowly, she forcibly relaxed herself and heaved a weary sigh before turning a determined look on Funkfreed.
"I… apologize for that," she sighed out, bringing her hand up to press against her temples. "I… I know I was going about it the wrong way, saying what I shouldn't have. Those words, that… philosophy, was born from a black-and-white worldview, an ironclad belief that because we… because I was a Marine, what I believed was 'just'. That was because they were pirates, and I was a Marine; I had a duty, a… a right to take their swords because I didn't approve of how they were using them. A belief that I now realize is… completely divorced from reality, or at least any sense of honour or decency.
"I'm still going to seek out the named Swords," she continued. "That hasn't changed. But. I will judge their wielders by their actions and intentions before I judge them by their flags. And when I take their blades, it won't be because I was right 'on principle', but because I was right because I won. And if they should win, well…" Her hand drifted down to rub her thumb on Shigure's guard. "I guess I won't have much reason to complain then, will I?"
We all lapsed into a moment of respectful silence (apart from the clash of Zoro's steel and Sanji's leather) as we processed Tashigi's words and her newfound—or perhaps, newly reforged?—determination.
Ultimately, it was Funkfreed who broke the silence, raising his trunk to his forehead with a chuckle. "Well, I'll be honest with you: I'm really impressed. I wasn't all that pleased when Cross told me about your original philosophy, especially because of my personal perspective… but this? This I can agree with. And I sincerely believe that any blade you manage to win? They'll be lucky to be in the hands of someone as dedicated as you."
The praise drew a gleeful grin from Tashigi, which swiftly evolved into a look of outright elation as she beamed eagerly at Funkfreed. "You mean like how Cross claimed you from Spandam after beating him down? I-I-I realize that that wasn't a swordfight, but then neither Cross nor Spandam were or are good swordsmen—"
"True on both counts, I can attest to that," Funkfreed nodded sagely.
"Wow, nicely done, direct hit. Want me to sharpen you before the next time you stab me in the back?" I deadpanned.
"—So does that mean that you accepted the defeat and Cross's right to wield you because neither of them was a sword-wielder? And how do swords in general interpret it when an actual swordsman is defeated by someone who's not one? Oh, oh, and also, most blade oils aren't that far off in quality when you get down to it, but that's on the user end. How do they feel about the sword? And, and—!"
I rolled my eyes and looked away with a chuckle as Tashigi started to build herself a nice head of steam, Funkfreed himself—an entity who easily outweighed a full ten times over no less—leaning away from her with a sheepish grin. In the end, no matter how much I loved tormenting the ditzy swordswoman, she was still a valued friend and colleague, so it was nice to see her so eager and animated.
Whoosh…
"And speaking of ditzes…" I mused to myself, turning my attention to the seat next to me, where Vivi had just breezed(heh) in, and was watching the show of Zoro and Sanji's ongoing bra—spar, it was a spar, they'd been very insistent on that, with a thoughtful frown on her face.
Well, hell, Opportunity, you don't need to knock that hard on my door!
"Hoping for another sighting of beefcake, your highness?" I teased.
Vivi snapped up straight in her seat as her face went red, wind whistling out of her ears. "N-No! I mean, yes, I mean, that'd be nice, but that's not what I'm watching for!" Fanning herself, the princess managed to get herself mostly under control… though the blush remained. "I was just noticing—and I can't believe I didn't think of this earlier—that those two are incredibly Kismet for each other."
…
"Okay, I've got nothing," I admitted, before blanching as a thought most horrific occurred to me. "Oh, for the love of all things holy, don't tell me you've joined the ranks of the shippers!"
"Wha—oh, Set no, nonono, never!" Vivi vehemently denied, her face the picture of indignation before turning thoughtful!? "Well, I mean, there was that thing with the olive oil, and logically two is better than—"
"Define the word so that I know whether to knock some sense into you or run!" I hissed frantically.
"R-Right, right," Vivi winced, coughing into her fist self-consciously. At least, that was what I could hear clearly. I dearly hope I simply misheard whatever it was she said under her breath, because otherwise, Kohza was in for a very… subjective wedding night.
"Aheh, ah, anyway, no, I-it's not anything loving at all. The… exact opposite, really. It, uh… doesn't have a direct equivalent in this language, but a good approximation is 'destined loathing'. Though, ah…" She tapped a finger to her chin thoughtfully. "I think I remember Chaka calling it something like 'two souls determined to hatefuck each other in the personality'."
I actually needed a moment to pause and process that. "Really now," I mused, quirking an inquisitive eyebrow as I looked the clashing pair over. "'Hatefucking each other in the personality'…Well, I can certainly see it…" I paused as my eye passed over a lonely bowl sitting on the table, and with nary a moment's hesitation, I threw up my hands with a barely restrained grin. "But really, guys? In public? Right in front of my salad?"
"My salad," Tashigi snarled out of the blue, snapping right out of her conversation to grab the bowl and hug it close.
Huh, I hadn't even noticed what she'd ordered… well, if she was going to make it this easy for me—Plastering a smile on my face, I started reaching across the table. "Now Tashigi, I prefer to think of it as our sala—!"
THUNK!
"AGH, BITCH!" I howled as I scrabbled at the knife that had just nailed my hand to the table!
"HAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHOOHOOHOO!" Soundbite howled from out of nowhere.
"ROT IN HELL, YOU LITTLE SLIMESTAIN!"
"Wow, two at once," Vivi breathed, her hands covering her mouth as she stared at us with eyes glittering. "Truly, this crew is blessed by fate."
"Yup," Funkfreed agreed as he nosed lettuce fronds into his mouth.
"WE'RE ALSO BLESSED WITH A WORLD-CLASS DOCTOR, SO SOMEONE CALL THE FURRY BASTARD ALREADY!"
"Oh, yeah, come to think of it, where did he go?" Funkfreed wondered—THWACK! "GWAH!?"—right before Tashigi uppercut him in the jaw with Shigure's hilt as he went for another mouthful of green.
"NOSE OFF THE SALAD, OR I'M GONNA TURN YOU INTO PIANO KEYS!" the undercover Marine erupted. "I HAVEN'T HAD LEAFY GREENS IN THREE WEEKS, I'M NOT LETTING THIS CHANCE GO!"
"SOMEONE PULL OUT THIS DAMN KNIFE ALREADY!"
"HOOHOOHOOheeheeheeHAHAHAHAHA!"
"AND I REPEAT, WHERE THE HELL IS CHOPPER?!"
-o-
Chopper's ears flicked, and he glanced up from his notepad. "Did you hear something?" he wondered.
"Sss-sss-ss!" hissed the large anaconda draped over the examination table he'd commandeered from a local clinic in exchange for a day's work, pinning the diminutive doctor with a gimlet eye as she waved the tip of her tail at her head.
"Oh, right. Sorry, you can change back now."
With as close to a sigh of relief as was physically possible, the snake shifted and morphed back into Sandersonia, squirming in place. "Whew, that's better," she muttered, rolling her arms and other joints. "Don't go full animal very often, it always feels weird to lose and regrow limbs."
"Meanwhile, I've never had any issues with shifting between ungulate and plantigrade anatomy… maybe just because I had more practice growing up? Either way, still interesting," Chopper noted, out loud and on paper. "Alright, and that concludes the physical examination. Now for the rest of the tests." With that, the little doctor ambled over to his knapsack and began rummaging through it.
"Yeah, should've figured there'd be more tests," Sandersonia groused, digging her finger into her newly regrown ear. "And just what are those other tests, by the way?"
"Now I'm going to be using instruments. Some hard numbers to back up the observations." Straightening, Chopper turned around and revealed a blood-pressure cuff and two sizeable beakers balanced in his hooves. "For starters, I'm going to be taking your blood pressure, and then I need you to fill these up."
Sandersonia's eyes widened, and she pressed her legs a little tighter together. "With what? And, which I really should have asked sooner, why?" she asked in a strangled voice.
A grin spread over Chopper's face, and the Kuja Pirate's stomach dropped even further. She'd listened to the SBS, so she recognized what it meant when Chopper's eyes literally lit up with scientific glee. "You're doing what I'm telling you to because the data I have been collecting from all across this cobbled-together floating asylum has been pushing me closer and closer to a breakthrough, strand by scale by mucus, and you and your data points are the last pieces of data I require to solidify the theory I've been working on for months. And that will allow me to finally write and publish my treatise on the Psychoreactive Polymorphic Properties of Zoan Devil Fruits and the self-imposed limitations thereof!"
Before the Amazon could reach for the nearest heavy object, however, the spark went out of Chopper's eyes, and he switched to his usual gleeful wiggling. "Oooh, it's going to be so great! The first paper of its kind, ever! I'll revolutionize the entire field! The entire paradigm, eeheeheehee!"
Sandersonia blinked in surprise at the abrupt turnaround and slowly straightened back up to give the young doctor a curious look. "Could you… explain that for me, please? I don't quite understand what you're getting at."
Chopper paused mid-intellectual ecstasy and hastily recomposed himself, putting his tools aside to give the senior pirate his full attention. "It's, ah, kind of complicated… well, let's start with the basic principles and work our way up. Zoans: What do you know about the 'rules' of our fruits?"
"Uh…" Sandersonia tilted her head curiously. "It's… pretty obvious, isn't it? Besides the usual 'avoid the sea' stuff, Zoans have three forms they can take, animal, demi-animal and hu—er, original, right?"
Chopper cocked his eyebrow. "Is that so?" Without waiting for a response, he took a Rumble Ball from his bag, crunched it up, and shifted rapidly through the four forms it gave him: Arm, Guard, Horn, and then ending with Jumping. "But I'm capable of seven forms. So what does that tell you?"
"…that rules don't apply to the Straw Hats?" Sandersonia tried with a sheepish grin. Said grin melted clean off her face at the distinctly unimpressed look the re-Brain'd reindeer gave her. "But, uh, seriously, you do need chemicals to use those other forms, don't you?"
"And I needed them to achieve my higher mental faculties as well, yes…" Chopper nodded in agreement. "But the fact that I am capable of these things at all implies that, at minimum, there is more to Zoans than modern science is aware of. And this fact is supported by the data and observations I've been gathering from all different sorts of Zoans recently."
"Data and observations such as…" the Amazon rolled her hand inquisitively.
"Well, among others," Chopper began, flipping back through his notebook. "There's X Drake's distinctly saurian snarling, which the vocal cords and thoracic cavity of a human shouldn't be capable of. The falcon and jackal Zoans we met in Alabasta preen and clean themselves regularly, even in their human forms. Merry almost always acts like a child, even though, if we go back to when her blueprints were drawn up, she's technically over twenty years old, and her eating habits somehow haven't wrecked her digestive tract. And that's a trait Lassoo and Funkfreed share; they like to snack on gunpowder and polish, respectively. I haven't even mentioned me yet; my Devil Fruit gave me human intelligence, and I never would have realized any of this if I hadn't realized that first."
He then flipped his book closed and pointed at Sandersonia. "And then we have you, with your foot-long tongue."
Sandersonia blinked in surprise, crossing her eyes to look down at the suddenly frozen tongue in question. "Guhhh…?"
"And then there's this."
"Wha—?" Sandersonia looked back at Chopper—Tunk! "HSSS!"—and promptly reeled away from him with an almost snarling hiss when the reindeer pegged her in the forehead with an ice cube of all things. "WHAT THE HELL, YOU LITTLE FURBALL!? I HATE THE COLD—!"
"—and you prefer it when it's warm, right? And your sister Marigold shares these preferences?"
"YE—ah… y-yes, actually, that's right. How did you—?"
"I deduced as much because your Zoans are reptilian, and thus ectothermic. That is to say, you're cold-blooded." As understanding bloomed across her face, he flipped to a blank page. "Now… when did you notice that your tongue remained serpentine even in human form?"
Sandersonia slowly bowed her head, her hands moving to grip her forearms as a different kind of chill settled across her. "It was… back when we were-were running. We got into the habit of using our hybrid forms to smell out enemies. Mmph…those days blur together, but at some point, we realized we could still smell them without changing. We also noticed our tongues, but at that point we really couldn't bring ourselves to care."
Chopper buried a grimace at her reaction and patted her knee. "Due to the stress you were undergoing, your mind blurred the boundaries between you and the snake. And because of that blurring, you can bring out an aspect of the fruit's power without even thinking about it. Even when you thought it was impossible." His spine straightened, his gaze then flashing with analytical intent. "Would you happen to recall any other elements of your and your sister's abilities that you considered inconsequential up until now?"
"Ah… well…" Sandersonia's tongue flicked nervously, and she sucked it back in. "There… is one thing, but I never…"
Chopper cracked a kind grin at her. "This is science, Sandersonia. There's no such… or at least, there are very few cases of inconsequential data."
The Amazon nodded at that and closed her eyes in concentration. And right before Chopper's amazed gaze, the Amazon shrank in size. It was similar to a Zoan transition, but rather than redonning her verdant scales, Sandersonia remained fully human, save that she was now of normal human stature. A seven-foot-tall stature, perhaps, but still within the normal range.
"We… needed to hide a lot while we were running, and being big wasn't particularly helpful," Sandersonia explained with a slight grimace, examining her shrunken hands with equal parts uncertainty and newfound interest. "Night after night, we noticed it was easier for all of us to curl up together. Marigold and I never really thought it was that useful because, well, what good is it to a warrior to become smaller, but if this helps—?"
She stopped speaking then, because the spark in Chopper's eyes had returned, much brighter than before. His hooves were a blur, pen filling page after page.
"Just to confirm," the scientist muttered, almost absentmindedly. "Your primary size was that—?"
"It's natural," Sandersonia clarified as she reverted to said size. "I've always been this big, we've always assumed that my father had giant's blood somewhere in his ancestry."
"Mmm," the reindeer scowled slightly as he flipped back and scratched a few things out. "Which means that you're likely simply transposing your animal state's size onto your human frame. Still interesting, but not quite what I was hoping for…" That done, he resumed filling out new pages. "Nevertheless, this kind of transformation, combined with your demi-form's measurements, does lend credence to my theory…"
By now more than a little invested in the conversation, Sandersonia leaned forward curiously. "Finally! What is this illustrious, revolutionary theory, exactly?"
The gleam in Chopper's eyes became almost dangerous. "Carnivorous Zoans, what do you know of them?"
"Vicious sons of bitches, both in the fur and out of it, pretty damn strong to boot," the serpent Zoan answered promptly, even proudly, though it was tinged with annoyance. "I mean, I should know, Marigold and I are Carnivores."
"Then you know that one other aspect of Carnivores is that you're always titanic," Chopper concurred, nodding fervently. "Their demi-forms—your demi-forms—are always exponentially larger than either of your other two forms. A trend that is absent in all other breeds of Zoans, I might add! Up until now, it's been accepted that such a size simply is because 'that's the way things are'…"
He met Sandersonia's gaze with unmitigated glee. "But if my theory is correct, then the surge of instincts and adrenaline that Carnivores acquire from their animal selves, combined with their human mentalities, results in the mass-surge! This could mean that Carnivores could actually be capable of repressing their adrenaline and compressing themselves into far more humanoid states—a feat I have already heard of, no less—or that with the right mentality, non-Carnivores could actually be capable of taking on such frames for themselves! The possibilities are as limitless as they are fascinating!"
"So what's your theory? Get on with it!" Sandersonia hissed eagerly, by now quite literally on the edge of her seat.
Chopper matched her oversized grin tooth for tooth. "Boa Sandersonia, the drug you saw me take a few minutes ago that unlocked my other forms, is an invention that I have made great usage of from the time I met the Straw Hat Pirates. It has helped me reach heights of my abilities that I never considered before. My theory… is that, from the very beginning, it has been nothing more than a placebo. That-that-that from the very moment I ate my fruit, I was fully capable of achieving every one of my forms and more… and that the same holds true for every Zoan alive!"
The human-reindeer flung his arms out wide with a gleeful cackle. "Think about it, Sandersonia! What if! What if nothing about Zoans comes down to the fruits themselves, but the minds of their wielders! What if every Zoan in existence were capable of using their abilities in ways they never dared imagine, simply because up until then they'd thought those abilities to be unimaginable! The transformation of individual limbs, the manipulation of size in unprecedented manners! Transmogrification! Hybridization! Evolution, from the most constrained of the Devil Fruits to being as flexible as the mightiest and most creative of Paramecia!"
Sandersonia reeled back in her spot, awe written across her features. "That… if you manage to get even a fraction of that out to even a dozen Zoans… y-you could change the world!" The next moment found her sitting back up straight, her expression dimming. "Maybe too much… I mean, Kaidou's Beast Pirates alone are almost exclusively Zoans. And the number of other pirates with them, and Marines… Cross unleashes pandemonium on a regular basis, and if you published this paper of yours… you'll be setting loose an entirely new breed, all of your own making. Are-Are you sure you want to do that?"
Chopper's expression sobered as well, and Sonia almost wished that it hadn't. The human-reindeer's blazed with a quiet, subtle fury. "…I know that some people will abuse this knowledge. All knowledge has been perverted in some way or another throughout the course of history, and I'm not so naïve as to believe that my discovery would be any different. But at the same time, there will always be people who use it for good, too. And if my work can help one person, even just once, in even the slightest way, then this…" He slapped his hoof on the paper. "Will all have been worth it. So yes, Boa Sandersonia, I'm sure and certain. I intend to follow in my crew's footsteps, in my fellow Demons' footsteps, and rock the world something fierce."
Chopper's determined expression then fell flat as he jerked his head at the nearly-forgotten beakers he'd set down. "But I need more data before I can make anything solid out of this, which means that I need to run more tests. So, are you willing to keep going, or do I need to try finding someone else?"
Sandersonia's confidence faltered heavily, and she eyed the glassware warily. "This, ah… will be painless, yes?"
The way the doctor's eyes lit up did absolutely nothing to reassure her. "Oh yes, rest assured, you won't feel a thing," Chopper intoned. "Trust me. I'm a doctor."
"You do realize that's exactly why I don't trust you, right?!"
-o-
FOUR DAYS TILL START
"Jeremi-ya, I realize that this is almost certainly a ridiculous question, but… when are you going to stop giving your allies an incentive to seriously injure you?"
"Well, since we're allies and—nnh—all, maybe I could convince you to—gnn—to perform that immortality surgery on me so at least I don't—MOTHERFUCK!"
"Sorry, hand slipped," Law stated, not sounding sorry in the least. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised you know about that, too."
Silence, for a moment, as Law continued to work. "So, is that a yes or—?" I prompted.
The look Law gave me could have peeled paint. "There is only one person whom I respect enough to do that operation for, and he died eleven years ago. No."
Pumping my free hand, I loosed a cry of defeat. "CURSES! Once more, the secret to eternal youth has eluded me!"
Law's demeanour went from caustic to deadpan in two seconds flat. "…you only asked me that so you could have an excuse to say that, didn't you?"
"Number 6 on my List Of Things I Want To Say At Least Once In The Right Context™! Seemed like the best opportunity I'd ever get," I chuckled, shamelessly flashing him a V-sign.
That earned me yet another jab in my newly repaired nerves, though since I saw it coming this time, I could get away with just gritting my teeth.
All things considered, maybe I would have been better off just keeping my mouth shut, but I had realized a while back that training over the next two years was going to be a complete nightmare with Chopper nowhere nearby and the nerves in my arms still damaged by Enel's lightning torture… man, that was months ago, wasn't it?
Anyway, along with the gaping hole in my hand (and to think I had been entertaining the idea of letting up on the Marine's poor, fragile nerves. Fat chance now!), I had requested that Law fix the nerves, which was why he was currently restoring damaged connections and… kinda restoring the skin. Law'd told me at the start that he could have made my arms good as new—or even have given me brand-new ones—but I asked him to restrict himself to the barest minimum he could manage instead. Honestly, I didn't mind how gnarly my limbs looked; I even enjoyed the reactions I got from people at times; my only real problem was keeping them numb and covered so they didn't feel like they were on fire. And just the nerve work Law was currently performing would cover that nicely.
…right now, though, it just hurts like the dickens. Dulled or not, getting the old nerves worked on hurt, and the rebuilt ones itched like mad. My legs and right arm, at least, were done, and so I had gotten some sort of cream that soothed them. My left? No such luck.
"So," Law dryly stated as he kept at it, fiddling around in my arm with way too much casual levity for my comfort. "Any other truth bombs you want to drop on me?"
I bit my lip for an entirely new reason. There were a couple… but at least one of them was liable to get Law to try and kill me. I glanced at my arm; then again, he was almost done. Welp, in for a beri and all that.
"Two things," I said, pointedly ignoring the weary sigh that drew from the doctor. "First… Bonney. Keep an eye on her, and if you can, try to be in a position to help her. I don't know much about her backstory. I don't know much for anyone else except for you, really… and Drake, I guess… but she's important. Somehow. Every Supernova must be, it's the only reason I'd know about them, I just know they are. But her more so, and more immediately. Particularly because there's a good chance she's going to run into Blackbeard and Akainu back-to-back… soon. Ish. And when Akainu specifically says that the World Government is in a panic over someone not being where they want them to be, then you'd better believe that's someone I very much want to keep out of their hands. Capiche?"
"How delightfully vague," Law drawled. "And the other."
I… honestly considered whether to pull a bait-and-switch and abscond on him. It would have been funny, but the idea died as swiftly as it was born. Doing something like that would be potentially lethal and, more importantly, disgraceful to Corazon's memory. I took the time to make doubly sure nobody was nearby before speaking again.
"…Even with my knowledge, I can't claim to have known Donquixote Rocinante as well as you did, Law," I said slowly and deliberately, pausing for a few seconds as I waited for the 'good' doctor to get the flinch in his wrist under control. "But. There's one person left in the world who can. I mentioned before that when Doflamingo killed his father, Rocinante was shattered until he was found by a group of Marines, and joined them because their commander took him under his wing. What I glossed over was that the commander became a new father to Rocinante. Which makes him… the closest thing to a grandfather you have."
I tentatively glanced at Law, finding some comfort in the fact that his expression was only neutral. "I had already planned on recruiting him into the Masons farther down the line. But you're the only one who has any right to use that relationship as leverage. I'm not asking you to, of course!" I hastily amended as the corner of Law's jaw twitched into a subtle scowl. "That's a last resort, nothing more. I'm only telling you this because you have the right to know."
The way Law rolled his eyes was not subtle. "You've made your point on how scared of me you are, Jeremi-ya. Look, in case you've forgotten, I'm pretty numb; there's nothing you can say that would piss me enough to hurt you. So spill, who are you talking about?" he asked impatiently.
"…Sengoku."
Law deliberately snapped his hands away from my arm and slapped his scalpel flat against the table, eyes slightly glazed as he stared at nothing. "Addendum," he ground out slowly.
"Yeah…" I nodded slowly in agreement, scratching my jaw uncomfortably. Thankfully, however, after a few minutes' thought, he took a deep, patient breath and resumed his usual, relatively dispassionate demeanour.
He then got back to work, and in a few short, silent minutes, he finished. Law pulled away, his Room falling the next moment. I began applying cream to my arm as he spoke again.
"Does anyone else know about this?"
"…How many spy thrillers have you read or do you think I've read?" I muttered, but I didn't give him time to take my head off and start using it as a kickball. "Some others in Marineford may know about it, but they'd be old guard who either would have known Rocinante themselves or who were confidants of Sengoku. Apart from them, the only ones who have heard it from me are Smoker, Tashigi, Nami, and Merry… oh, and Robin. It came up after Enies, and I told them not to spread it around."
Law remained quiet for another minute before letting out a quiet sigh. "I'm honestly not sure how to feel about this," he said at last.
"Well, you've got a couple of years to work it out; I seriously doubt that Sengoku will be open enough to talking about Corazon until he's finally avenged."
Law exhaled at that, sounding honestly relieved at the idea. Then he flicked his arm and closed up my limb with… an honestly almost insulting amount of ease. Seriously, I'd like to imagine it would take at least some effort to fix an injury that could be described as 'crippling at best'. Still though… I couldn't help but smile gratefully as I flexed my fingers, moving the limb more freely than I ever had in, well, a long time.
"Seriously, Law, thanks for helping me," I said fervently.
"Mmm… I'd say 'don't make a habit out of it', but we both know there's not a chance of that. Just acknowledge that the next time I have to fix this much damage, it'll come with a price tag," he responded, packing away what few tools he'd needed. "Now, if we're done here, I'm going to get away from you as fast as I can so I can avoid getting dragged into your nonsense."
CRASH!
"Damn, too late."
"Hey, Brook," I said casually, not at all perturbed by the fact that my crewmate had just come crashing through the wall with a footprint on his back. "You do realize that one of these days, you're going to provoke someone in such a way that you'll be lucky to come out of it alive, right?"
"Too late by fifty years, Cross!" Brook chortled as he popped himself up, casually dusting himself off. "After all, I'm already dead! YOHOHOHO, SKULL JOKE!"
"What possible circumstance would allow you to say that to anyone, Jeremi-ya?" Law added, completely deadpan.
"The fact that I don't blatantly ask women to show me their underwear."
Law's eye twitched.
"Mmhm," I nodded in agreement. "Still, speaking of which, who'd you piss off this time, old man?"
"Oh, that delightful redhead who recently joined Bartolomeo's crew! His new co-first mate, I believe?" the skeleton chuckled as he re-adjusted his jaw. "Very feisty, she'll go far!"
"Clearly," Law scoffed, giving both of us exasperated looks. "Well, at least this isn't too crazy by your crew's standards."
Heh, he could say that aga—
"Oh, now I wouldn't say that."
Wait, what?… why was Brook looming over me? Why did his brows look like they were frowning? Why was I seeing a ghostly aura spring up around him?
"You see, Cross, we have a conflict, you and I," Brook stated, starting to pace back and forth. "We are both wielders of a single sword, where Zoro wields three, and Leo wields two. All well and good… except for one thing."
And back to the looming.
"There can be only one true master of the One-Sword Style upon our ship."
And just like that, he was all smiles again. So to speak.
"As such, I now officially challenge you, Jeremiah 'Voice of Anarchy' Cross, to a sword duel to determine who is truly the one-sword master on the crew! We meet at noon with swords drawn!" He maintained his proud demeanour for a few seconds before his head snapped to the side, a very familiar gleam in his eyes. "Oh, is that white lace I detect that way?" Before I could do anything literally, he was back in the hole he'd made, one leg outside. "If I'm not back in ten minutes, talk to Usopp, he's arranging the bout! Wait for me, my silky darlings!"
And like that, he was off.
"… is it too late to get you to put me into a medically induced coma for the rest of the week?" I weakly asked Law. "Or him, for that matter?"
"Sorry, Jeremi-ya," Law sneered, leaning back in his seat with a grin of utter doom. "But while I could do that… I just think this will be more fun to watch."
"Great…" I groaned, thunking my head against the table in despair.