I didn't plan it.
I didn't plan to go looking for him that day.
But something inside me had reached its limit.
Days of silence.
Days of overthinking.
Days of staring at my phone, hoping his name would appear again.
It didn't.
And that morning, I woke up with a feeling I couldn't ignore.
I needed answers.
Not texts.
Not excuses.
Not silence.
I needed to see him.
So I left.
I didn't tell Melyne.
Or Starlet.
Or Riley.
Because deep down, I knew this wasn't something they could fix.
This was something I had to face alone.
The campus felt different that day.
Too loud.
Too alive.
Too normal.
People were laughing.
Talking.
Moving on with their lives like nothing had changed.
Like the world hadn't shifted beneath my feet.
Like I wasn't carrying something that had already changed everything.
My steps felt heavy as I walked toward his hostel.
Each step filled with anxiety.
With doubt.
With a small, fragile hope I hated myself for still holding onto.
Maybe there was a reason.
Maybe he had been overwhelmed.
Maybe he just didn't know how to handle it.
Maybe… he still cared.
I held onto that "maybe" like it was the only thing keeping me standing.
When I finally reached his building, my heart was pounding so loudly it felt like it might give me away.
I stood outside for a moment.
Just breathing.
Trying to calm myself.
Trying to prepare for whatever waited on the other side.
Then slowly…
I walked in.
The hallway was quiet.
Too quiet.
My footsteps echoed softly against the floor as I made my way toward his room.
I knew it by heart.
I had been there too many times.
Too many memories.
Too many moments that now felt like they belonged to someone else's life.
I stopped in front of his door.
My hand hovered in the air.
For a second… I hesitated.
Because something didn't feel right.
There was a sound.
Soft.
Faint.
But unmistakable.
Laughter.
A girl's laughter.
My heart skipped.
Then dropped.
No.
No, no…
I swallowed hard, my chest tightening as I forced myself to knock.
Once.
Twice.
The laughter stopped.
Footsteps followed.
And then…
The door opened.
It was him.
Cypher.
But the moment our eyes met, something shifted.
Not relief.
Not warmth.
Not the familiarity I had been craving.
Just…
Surprise.
And something else.
Something I couldn't quite place.
"Jessy?" he said, his voice uncertain.
Like he hadn't expected to see me.
Like I was the last person he thought would be standing there.
And that's when I saw it.
Over his shoulder.
Inside the room.
A girl.
She was sitting on his bed.
Comfortably.
Like she belonged there.
Like she had every right to be in that space.
Her hair was loosely tied back, her legs folded under her as she looked toward the door.
Toward me.
Her eyes scanned me with quiet curiosity.
Not guilt.
Not shock.
Just… curiosity.
Like I was the one out of place.
For a moment, the world went completely silent.
My ears rang.
My chest tightened.
My thoughts scattered.
Because nothing—nothing—could have prepared me for that moment.
"Who is that?" I heard myself ask.
My voice didn't even sound like mine.
It was too calm.
Too steady.
Too controlled for what I was feeling inside.
Cypher hesitated.
And that hesitation…
That single pause…
Told me everything I needed to know.
"She's just—" he started.
"Just what?" I cut in.
My eyes didn't leave his.
Didn't blink.
Didn't soften.
Because if I did, I knew I would break.
The girl stood up slowly.
And for the first time, I saw it clearly.
She wasn't just visiting.
She was comfortable.
Too comfortable.
Like this wasn't new.
Like this wasn't the first time she had been there.
"I can leave if this is a bad time," she said softly.
Her voice was calm.
Too calm.
Like she wasn't the one standing in the middle of someone else's heartbreak.
Cypher turned to her quickly.
"No, it's fine," he said.
And that…
That was the moment something inside me shattered.
Not when I saw her.
Not when I heard her voice.
But when he chose to reassure her…
Instead of me.
I let out a quiet breath.
A shaky one.
And finally stepped inside the room.
Slowly.
Carefully.
Like I was stepping into a reality I didn't recognize.
My eyes moved around.
Taking everything in.
The unmade bed.
The two cups on the table.
The atmosphere.
It wasn't just a visit.
It wasn't just a coincidence.
It was something more.
Something deeper.
Something I had been too blind to see.
"I've been calling you," I said.
My voice was quieter now.
Not angry.
Not loud.
Just… tired.
"You haven't been picking up."
Cypher ran a hand through his hair, avoiding my gaze.
"I've been busy," he replied.
The same excuse.
The same empty words.
But now…
They sounded different.
Now they sounded like lies.
I let out a small, bitter laugh.
"Busy?" I repeated.
My eyes flickered toward the girl for a second before returning to him.
"This is what you've been busy with?"
He frowned.
"Jessy, don't start—"
"Don't start what?" I snapped, my voice rising slightly.
"Don't start telling the truth?"
The girl shifted uncomfortably.
"I really think I should go—"
"No," I said firmly, my gaze still locked on Cypher.
"Stay."
My voice softened slightly.
"Stay and listen."
Because if my world was falling apart…
Then I wasn't going to pretend everything was fine.
I took a step closer to him.
My heart pounding.
My hands trembling.
But my voice…
My voice remained steady.
"I'm pregnant."
The words hung in the air.
Heavy.
Unavoidable.
Final.
The girl froze.
Cypher's expression changed instantly.
Shock.
Panic.
Something raw.
Something real.
But it wasn't enough.
Because I had already seen too much.
Felt too much.
Lost too much.
Silence filled the room.
Thick.
Uncomfortable.
Suffocating.
"What?" the girl whispered.
Her eyes moved between us, confusion written all over her face.
Cypher didn't respond immediately.
And once again…
His silence spoke louder than anything he could have said.
I looked at him.
Really looked at him.
At the man I had trusted.
The man I had believed in.
The man I thought would never let me fall.
And for the first time…
I saw him clearly.
Not as the person I wanted him to be.
But as the person he truly was.
"I needed you," I said softly.
My voice breaking just slightly.
"I was scared."
My hand moved instinctively to my stomach.
"And you disappeared."
He finally spoke.
"Jessy, I didn't know what to do—"
"That's the problem," I cut in.
"You didn't do anything."
Tears burned in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.
Not here.
Not in front of him.
Not in front of her.
"I was going through this alone," I continued.
"While you…"
My eyes flickered around the room again.
"…moved on."
The girl looked at him.
"Cypher… what is she talking about?"
Her voice was no longer calm.
It was filled with uncertainty now.
Doubt.
The same doubt that had been eating me alive.
And once again…
He hesitated.
That hesitation was my answer.
Not his words.
Not his explanations.
Not his excuses.
Just that moment.
That pause.
That silence.
I nodded slowly.
As if something inside me had finally settled.
Finally understood.
Finally accepted the truth I had been avoiding.
"I get it now," I said quietly.
More to myself than to him.
"You didn't leave all at once."
I looked up at him.
"You left slowly."
He opened his mouth to speak.
But this time…
I didn't wait to hear it.
Because I already knew.
I turned around.
My chest tight.
My heart heavy.
But my steps…
My steps were steady.
And as I walked out of that room, one realization echoed in my mind.
Clear.
Painful.
Unavoidable.
I hadn't just lost him.
I had lost the version of him I believed in.
And somehow…
That hurt even more.