One day, my younger sister Xi'er secretly told me that Scholar Xu's mother was sick.
Hearing that name again, I panicked for a moment—then I calmed down. I gave my sister some silver and asked her to hire a doctor for Mrs. Xu.
The Xu family had also declined. It's said that Scholar Xu's grandfather was once a famous honest official, upright and incorruptible, but was framed and demoted to Yunzhou, where he died of depression.
Scholar Xu and I were childhood sweethearts. He promised to grow old with me—but in the year he went to the capital for the imperial exams, I chose to marry Shen Er.
Although from the beginning, I had already decided I wouldn't marry him and wouldn't hold him back. But no matter what, I was the one who wronged him first—I must take care of his mother.
But Shen Er refused to let me go out alone.
I was anxious. Xi'er said Mrs. Xu's condition was very serious—all the nearby doctors said there was no cure. I had to go see her.
"What are you going out for?" Shen Er sat on the couch, said coldly: "Tell me, and I'll let you go."
"I have a friend whose mother is very sick, and he's not around. I'm going to take care of her for him." I had no choice but to tell him everything.
Mrs. Xu lived far from the Zhu residence, in a poor neighborhood full of fish and dragons—I definitely couldn't take him there.
"I see." Shen Er quietly looked at me, his dim eyes: "Go ahead."
My heart ached. I comforted him: "I promise to come back quickly. I won't leave you alone here, okay?"
Shen Er neither agreed nor disagreed. He turned his back and slowly lay down. I was silent for a moment, feeling terrible—but didn't know what to say. I could only tiptoe out quietly.
Mrs. Xu's face had grown so thin from illness—I was shocked when I saw her.
"I'm sorry, auntie. I couldn't come to see you this month. How are you? Where does it hurt? Xi'er has hired the best doctor—they're on their way."
Mrs. Xu smiled slightly and said with effort: "Good girl, I'm fine. I heard you were forced to marry by your father. How's your husband? Is he good to you?"
I nodded with tears: "He's very good."
"That's good, that's good." She sighed sadly: "You're a good girl. It's just that you and our Anchang were destined to not be together... When he comes back, he'll definitely be heartbroken..."
I sniffled and forced a smile: "Maybe Anchang will become the top scholar, and the emperor will even offer him a princess. What am I compared to that?"
Mrs. Xu laughed and said playfully: "You... you always know how to make me happy..."
I talked with Mrs. Xu for a long time. She seemed much more spirited. Seeing it was getting late and thinking about Shen Er, I quickly said goodbye.
I hurried back to the Zhu family—only to learn that Shen Er had already returned to the Shen household. I didn't know what to say, so I silently returned to my room.
Shen Er's loss, unease, and helplessness repeatedly appeared in my mind throughout the day. I neglected him—how could he dare stay alone in this strange place, unable to see anything, unable to do anything, sitting alone in the darkness? How lonely must he be?
His cold herbal scent seemed to still linger on the pillow. That night, I lay awake until dawn.
The next day, I woke up early and returned to the Shen household with two heavy dark circles under my eyes. Without first greeting my mother-in-law, I rushed back to the Autumn Leaf Courtyard.
Shen Er sat sideways by the window, as if dazed. On the table was an unrolled bamboo scroll with carved characters—he could read by touch.
I slowed my footsteps and quietly walked behind him.
I silently cursed myself—if I startled him by being so silent?
I secretly moved my feet, wanting to leave and re-enter.
"Ah." Shen Er suddenly turned around and hugged my waist—startling me instead.
"Don't go." Shen Er looked up, his autumn-like big eyes blinking pitifully. Fortunately he wasn't wearing the silk—his delicate, handsome face was fully exposed, making it hard to look away.
I ruffled his hair, like comforting a scared kitten: "I'm not going. I'm right here."
It seemed Shen Er and I were progressing a bit too fast—only a few days after marriage, he was already so clingy. I didn't know if it was because he was too lonely or because I was too gentle.
"You went to see that person's mother. I thought you wouldn't come back." Shen Er murmured: "Why... did you come back?"
I found it funny: "Did you think I was eloping?"
He didn't respond.
I started to feel nervous: "How do you know about... that person?"
[Translator's Note:] The protagonist goes to visit Scholar Xu's mother! Shen Er was left alone and anxious—he's really falling for her! The suspense: how did Shen Er know about her past?
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