"I used to live here..." I touched the worn walls and said softly: "Back then, I was carefree, and my father hadn't become addicted to gambling yet..."
Shen Er listened quietly as I talked about the past. The tea he made tasted wonderful. We sat in the courtyard, and he occasionally, making me feel that this must be what peaceful days feel like.
Shen Er was very interested in my past, asking questions endlessly. I smiled and asked him: "Why don't you tell me what you do at home?"
There was still a faint smile on Shen Er's lips: "Me? I don't do anything."
I grinned and changed the subject: "From now on, with me, in spring we'll go outing and write poetry. In summer, we'll catch crickets and cicadas. In autumn, we'll roll in the wheat fields. In winter, we can sleep in and drink snow tea together."
Shen Er secretly grabbed my hand from under the table, pressing it against his warm cheek: "Yuan Yuan, let's go sleep in now."
My face turned bright red. I said shyly: It's not even dark yet.
Before I got married, mother gave me many lessons about married life—but I didn't take it to heart. Only now did I realize that Shen Er also seemed to know nothing about this matter.
On our wedding night, there was no blood on the wedding sheet—already causing rumors to spread through the already turbulent Shen household. I never thought about how to solve this, and now Shen Er's innocence gave me a reason to escape.
Getting married and being a wife and mother was something I had long prepared for. Why was I escaping? I didn't know—but in the end, I did escape.
Every night I slept cuddled with Shen Er, yet my sense of guilt grew stronger each day.