Watching an entire crowd of grown men aggressively argue over her, Granny Chiyo herself was totally stunned.
She could still wrap her head around Uchiha Madara showing up here.
But what the heck was going on with every single person who crashed the party afterward?
Granny Chiyo had absolutely no idea what she was supposed to do anymore, so she just threw her hands up and let the chaos unfold.
She'd just sit back, watch the show, and see exactly what these idiots planned to do.
Uchiha Madara was equally stunned.
What did it even mean, all these random heavyweights sprinting over one after another?
Ōnoki was one thing, but where the hell did the Second Mizukage suddenly pop out from?
Madara didn't care much about the living.
The only guy who actually put him on edge was Gengetsu Hōzuki, since he'd also been resurrected through Edo Tensei.
'What if that guy has the exact same goal as me? Is he also targeting Chiyo's One's Own Life Reincarnation?'
But very quickly, Madara crushed that theory.
It was impossible.
Previously, he desperately needed a true revival because only a living, breathing person could become the Ten-Tails' jinchūriki and trigger the Infinite Tsukuyomi.
Now, he needed to revive just to ditch this frail, pathetic vessel specially engineered by Tobirama, then snatch his Rinnegan back from Nagato—or maybe hijack Sasuke's Rinnegan instead.
As for the other zombies? They didn't seem to possess any genuine drive to return to the land of the living.
Even basic bodily sensation had already been patched through that newly developed sensory formula.
Compared to living people, the one glaring flaw left for Edo Tensei bodies was that they literally couldn't reproduce.
'Looking at it from that angle, my plan is still safe for now...'
That was what Uchiha Madara told himself, but in reality, he was just desperately coping.
If he retained even a fraction of his original strength—hell, even the heavily nerfed version of Edo Tensei Hashirama from the Chūnin Exams—he would have happily thrown down with these guys.
The glaring problem was that he was pathetically weak right now.
He packed absolutely no combat power.
All he could physically do was stand there and watch.
He wasn't holding back because he didn't want to fight.
Picking a fight right now would be completely meaningless and would only humiliate him. It was far better to play the cold, aloof badass and maintain his legendary persona.
At least that way, the sheer weight of the name 'Uchiha Madara' would force the others to feel a trace of his past might and grant him some basic respect.
What Uchiha Madara totally failed to realize, however, was that his lingering nightmare reputation was the exact reason all these people crashed the party in the first place.
If this crowd could just overcome the instinctive fear buried deep in their guts, they wouldn't need to stand around pitching themselves to Chiyo at all.
They could simply jump Uchiha Madara and pin him to the dirt right then and there, and nobody would be able to stop them.
The group kept aggressively arguing, and since Jiraiya—a naturally depraved author of adult smut—was right in the thick of it, the trash talk grew progressively stranger and stranger.
"The name Jiraiya shakes the very foundation of the shinobi world! There isn't a soul under the heavens who doesn't know my legend. Just by flipping through the contents of my novels, anyone can see I possess endless, profound knowledge! Only by choosing me can Chiyo find true happiness!"
"What a load of bullshit! You already exposed your own cover story. You just came down here to gather raw material for your stupid novel. You don't actually like Chiyo at all!" Rōshi fired back.
"Besides, I, Rōshi of the Lava Release, am the true, certified alpha male famous across the entire ninja world! What the hell is the point of all your fancy techniques? Your jutsu duration is probably pitifully short anyway. Only I, Rōshi, am completely synonymous with ultra-long endurance. Everyone knows it!"
"So now you're finally admitting that commercial was actually you?" Ōnoki chimed in with a deadpan sneer.
Rōshi, who was right in the middle of trading insults with Jiraiya, completely stiffened.
He gritted his teeth and fired back, "Of course that wasn't me! But the description in it was one hundred percent accurate!"
"What good is ultra-long endurance? Lasting a long time doesn't necessarily mean it's a good time." Gengetsu sneered.
"Just look at this brat Ōnoki. He has lived so much longer than the rest of us, yet now he's just an old, worn-out fossil. He can't even squeeze a single word in edgewise, forced to watch helplessly while his beloved gets snatched away.
If you ask me, Chiyo will only find maximum happiness with me.
My Hōzuki clan possesses the legendary Hydrification Technique.
It can absolutely deliver an unprecedented... fluid experience.
And on top of that, I pack Steaming Danger Tyranny, a highly advanced technique only I have mastered. The steam can violently explode and reset over and over again, locking you into an infinite, thrilling hot-and-cold cycle!"
"Tch. Well, I have Lava Release and full Tailed Beast Transformation!" Rōshi countered fiercely.
"I... I... well, I..."
Jiraiya still reeled from the emotional damage after Rōshi accidentally nuked his biggest insecurity, but watching Gengetsu and Rōshi escalate the argument, he desperately wanted to jump back into the fray.
At this point, Granny Chiyo herself was completely irrelevant to the conversation.
Sheer, unadulterated male competitive spirit had taken the wheel.
The only glaring issue was that Jiraiya couldn't immediately pinpoint a single advantage he held over them.
'What do I even have?' he thought frantically. 'Sage Mode? No, that won't work either. Sage Mode buffs my perception, but the raw power boost completely loses to Rōshi's Tailed Beast Transformation.'
'Toad oil? What the hell kind of romantic flex is that? Wait...'
Jiraiya suddenly remembered Sarutobi Hiruzen, who was still lurking quietly in the shadows.
"I've got it! My teacher, Sarutobi Hiruzen, possesses Monkey King: Enma, who can transform into the Adamantine Staff and freely change its size and shape at will! None of you pack a divine weapon like that, do you?!" Jiraiya boasted, puffing his chest out proudly.
"What the hell does your teacher have to do with you?" Rōshi blinked, staring at Jiraiya with absolute disdain.
"My teacher is already dead! Naturally, all his assets are inherited by me. What's wrong with me borrowing Enma for a little bit?" Jiraiya argued, completely unreasonable yet radiating absolute confidence.
"..." Gengetsu instantly cracked the code.
No wonder Jiraiya managed to pull out a filthy manuscript titled Zetsu x Master's Wife Biwako earlier.
So that was the twisted dynamic they had going on.
Hearing Jiraiya's unhinged nonsense suddenly drag him directly into the crossfire, Sarutobi Hiruzen couldn't just sit still anymore.
If this trash-talking contest dragged on and Jiraiya ran out of cards to play, the idiot would definitely start throwing Hiruzen's personal secrets on the table instead.
In any case, he was already wearing Danzo's face, so he might as well take the most direct, ruthless approach possible.
"I will gladly accept Chiyo, then. The rest of you can keep arguing!"
A black blur suddenly dropped from a nearby rooftop, scooped Granny Chiyo right off the ground, and bolted into the distance.
Every single person present—whether they were caught up in the shouting match or just eating popcorn on the sidelines—completely froze.
'While the snipe and clam fight, the fisherman profits?'
'Which hidden powerhouse was this now?!'
Even Granny Chiyo herself completely failed to react in time.
She had been way too busy mentally sighing in deep awe.
Every single man standing in that circle packed astonishing fighting spirit and ridiculous patience, and each of their unique 'hidden weapons' promised highly unexpected surprises.
As for feeling embarrassed?
What the heck was there to be embarrassed about?
How old was she already?
What kind of massive storms hadn't she weathered?
She was hardly some sheltered little girl. Besides, in this day and age, little girls didn't necessarily know any less than she did anyway.
Thanks to massive cultural tumors like Jiraiya and Kakashi aggressively circulating indecent content across the entire shinobi world, the situation was genuinely getting out of hand.
"Crap! It's Danzo! What the hell is he doing here? Could someone else have actually mastered the Edo Tensei too?!"
Jiraiya's startled scream snapped everyone's attention right back to reality.
Following Jiraiya's blatant implication, every single pair of eyes aggressively locked onto Uchiha Madara at the exact same time.
"?" Madara blinked, looking completely lost.
'Did I just become the designated scapegoat?! If I seriously orchestrated this, why the hell am I totally out of the loop?'
But after running the logic carefully, who else in the current shinobi world actually commanded the Edo Tensei?
After crossing out all the impossible answers, the only viable suspect left on the board was genuinely his own faction.
'Could Black Zetsu and White Zetsu have actually deployed here to back me up?' Madara sank deep into thought.
'If that's the case, why haven't they established contact with me at all?'
It definitely wasn't because they feared exposing their connection.
Because look—they hadn't exchanged a single word, yet the entire crowd still immediately blamed him anyway.
'So...' Madara suddenly jolted, an entirely different, terrifying possibility striking him.
Danzo had merely been resurrected via Edo Tensei just like any ordinary corpse.
However, because Danzo actually knew the specific hand seals for the jutsu, he must have manually broken the summoner's contract and hijacked his own free will.
This rogue Danzo shared the exact same goal as him.
He wanted to capture Granny Chiyo and revive himself!