After seeing through Gengetsu Hōzuki's "true goal," Temari shot the three little girls a loaded look and gave them a sharp tug.
The trio instantly swallowed their questions, silently accepting Gengetsu's wild explanation.
Finally, the group set out.
However, when they reached Granny Chiyo's place, they only spotted Ōnoki, who had just snapped his chakra restraints.
Where the hell were Madara and Chiyo?
"That's Mū's disciple, Ōnoki, isn't it? That brat... that brat actually has the nerve to fight me over a woman?"
Gengetsu recognized Ōnoki on sight.
As his bitter old rival's disciple, Gengetsu knew the guy's face perfectly.
He almost let a few genuine remarks slip, but caught himself just in time.
"The Second Mizukage? What are you doing here?" Ōnoki tracked the voice and spotted Gengetsu standing on the roof of a sandstone building.
His guard shot up instantly.
"What obligation do I have to answer your question? Ōnoki, learn your place and respect your senior." Gengetsu tilted his chin up, radiating pure arrogance.
People always said affection skipped a generation.
Gengetsu genuinely preferred the young shinobi of the modern era.
He completely despised old fools like Ōnoki, who had been crawling around since his own era.
While talking down to the Tsuchikage, Gengetsu casually swept his gaze across the area.
He noted that the kunoichi who had guided him here had deliberately dragged their feet, falling far behind him.
As for the reason? He didn't have a damn clue.
In any case, Ōnoki had only spotted him so far.
...
Meanwhile, huddled behind the wall of a nearby house, Temari finished briefing the others on her shocking discovery.
"This relationship dynamic is way too messy," Pakura groaned.
As the elite vanguard of village gossip, the three little girls tracked this level of romantic entanglement perfectly.
Pakura, however, was completely lost.
"Master, once you grind through more of the Vigorous Paradise series and the Limited Tsukuyomi series, you'll totally understand how these complex relationships work," Maki stated with absolute seriousness.
Indeed, Pakura still lacked training.
This plotline hadn't even escalated to transplanting a vagina yet, and her brain was already frying?
"Speaking of which, where the heck is Granny Chiyo?" Yukata asked.
"No clue. For now, just keep your eyes locked on the Tsuchikage," Temari instructed, shaking her head.
Temari made the right call.
The second Ōnoki realized Gengetsu had zero intention of answering him, he ignored the guy completely.
He needed to hustle and track down Granny Chiyo.
What if Uchiha Madara exploited this distraction to trick her into casting One's Own Life Reincarnation?
Ōnoki triggered his Light-Weight Rock Technique and shot into the sky, leveraging the high ground to scan the village.
The moment he locked onto his target, Ōnoki rocketed straight toward Granny Chiyo's coordinates.
Down below, Temari's squad and Gengetsu sprang into action, tailing Ōnoki's flight path.
By the time they caught up, Ōnoki hovered in midair, wearing a mask of absolute horror.
The scene unfolding below had completely shattered his expectations.
Madara stood totally isolated on the sidelines, completely squeezed out of the group, his face black as thunder.
And standing right beside Granny Chiyo was...
"Rōshi, what the hell are you doing here?! Wait—are you actually Rōshi?"
Ōnoki blurted out the question, but then something clicked in his brain.
He knew his granddaughter, Kurotsuchi, had opted for sheer provocation to bait Rōshi out of hiding and drag him back to the village.
Her master plan involved selling Rōshi's image rights under Iwagakure's banner, hiring an actor to pop a Transformation Jutsu, and forcing that fake Rōshi to endorse a highly indecent commercial.
So... was the Rōshi standing in front of him the genuine article, or was this just some actor shooting a sequel? Ōnoki literally couldn't tell.
Especially since Jiraiya was standing right next to him.
That toad freak authored smutty novels. Could Rōshi be here to endorse Jiraiya's books, or maybe star in a movie adaptation?
"Ōnoki, you bastard..." Hearing Ōnoki's bizarre question, Rōshi froze for a second before his brain caught up.
Sure enough, Kurotsuchi had hit the nail on the head.
The mastermind who sold his image rights was this shameless old fossil!
"Rōshi, it really is you! Why aren't you back in Iwagakure? Why did you run all the way out here..."
"Shut the hell up! I only came here to pursue my own happiness! I never expected that the second I arrived, I'd hear that you had the sheer nerve to come harass Chiyo! You've crossed the line!" Rōshi roared, seizing the initiative and striking the first verbal blow.
"HUUUUHH?" Ōnoki completely froze.
He only approached Madara under the fake guise of pursuing Chiyo so he could dig up intel on Madara's endgame.
But staring at Rōshi, he realized the guy was operating on a totally different wavelength.
It made sense.
Given the garbage intel Rōshi had access to while hiding deep in the mountain forests, how could he possibly hatch the exact same tactical infiltration plan as Ōnoki?
Rōshi's genuine target actually seemed to be Chiyo.
This was way too...
'Could Rōshi actually be serious?' Ōnoki thought.
He was just putting on an act, but did he seriously bump into a guy playing for keeps?
Ōnoki hesitated.
This was the absolute perfect moment to mend fences with Rōshi.
As long as he played wingman and hooked Rōshi up with Chiyo, most of the bitter conflict and distance between them would vanish.
But... what about the massive crisis threatening the shinobi world? What about Uchiha Madara's world-ending conspiracy?
Ōnoki shifted his gaze straight to Jiraiya. "Jiraiya of the Sannin, what business do you have here?"
A tiny sliver of hope flickered in Ōnoki's chest.
Maybe Jiraiya came packing the exact same covert mission.
If that was the case, Ōnoki could totally wash his hands of this mess and bail right now.
"Oh, me? I'm just here gathering raw material for my new novel, obviously. I already drafted half of it, but when I hit the climax, the prose started feeling way too fake! So I decided to come down here and experience the tension personally." Jiraiya whipped out a thick stack of manuscript pages he had prepped in advance.
"..." Ōnoki skimmed the text scrawled across the manuscript.
It was a bunch of degenerate smut titled Zetsu x Master's Wife Biwako.
It looked terrifyingly real.
Well, that hope was dead.
He had to stay glued to this spot. Between repairing his broken relationship with Rōshi and protecting the safety of the entire shinobi world—he had to choose the world!
"Rōshi, I see how it is! You knew Chiyo was the one true love of my life, so you deliberately marched down here to steal her away from me! You've gone way too far!" Ōnoki squeezed his eyes shut and inhaled sharply.
After forcing his emotions to a boiling point, he barked angrily at Rōshi.
Jiraiya scratched his head. 'What the hell does that mean?'
Ōnoki asked him a single question and then just completely ignored him?
Meanwhile, Sarutobi Hiruzen—disguised as Danzo and lurking in the shadows waiting for an opening (though he had absolutely no intention of actually stepping in)—couldn't help but silently praise Jiraiya.
As expected of a seasoned novelist.
Jiraiya had actually cooked up a flawless, airtight excuse for himself.
That cover story was infinitely better than forcing Jiraiya to hit on Granny Chiyo.
"Ōnoki! You actually have the nerve to play the victim here?! You're clearly the bastard trying to tear us apart!" Rōshi froze for a split second, purely because Ōnoki had actually guessed his motive perfectly.
But he recovered instantly and roared back in absolute fury.
"..."
Gengetsu watched the chaotic soap opera unfold, hesitating over whether he should jump into the fray.
He carefully scrutinized their faces.
He wanted to figure out if Ōnoki and the others were also putting on a dramatic act just to investigate Uchiha Madara's dark secret.
But after watching the shouting match drag on, he realized those two idiots hadn't broken eye contact with each other once.
Forget keeping tabs on Uchiha Madara, they hadn't even spared a single glance at Chiyo!
'Hiss—'
Gengetsu sucked in a sharp breath of cold air.
'Could it be that Ōnoki and this Rōshi actually have some sort of deeply improper relationship?' he thought.
'Is Chiyo merely a prop for their aggressive, flirtatious lovers' quarrel?'
It looked like he still needed to step up to the plate!
"Stop right there! The man who truly loves Chiyo the most is me!" Gengetsu Hōzuki boldly strode into the clearing.
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Goddamnit hahahahaha i can't with this novel man there is not a single serious characters at all.