BAO JI (LIA)
woke up with a terrible headache.
All morning I was cranky. My maid barely spoke two words to me, and I was already getting annoyed. I felt bad for her, but I just couldn't control myself. My mind kept going back to yesterday.
I blacked out. I don't remember anything. I know the emperor came, and then he started drinking with us, which surprised me. But after that…
After that… I have no idea what we did.
I was sitting outside, enjoying the warm sun, when I noticed the emperor walking toward me.
"Good morning, Your Majesty," I said, bowing slightly.
"Good morning. How did you sleep?" he asked, his voice gentle.
He was only one step away from me.
No… Not even a full step.
"Good. And you?" I asked.
"Good", he replied shortly.
Then he stepped even closer. So close that I could feel his breathing. He lifted his hand and gently stroked my cheek with his fingers. I froze. I couldn't react even if I wanted to. My eyes instantly dropped to his lips. Those seductive lips were pulling me in so fucking strongly. They practically begged to be kissed.
What am I thinking?
I looked back into his eyes and caught him staring at my lips too. And then suddenly—
Memories crashed into my mind like a hurricane. Flashbacks from yesterday. The emperor chasing me and the queen through the garden. The emperor catching me. Pulling me into his arms.
And then—
Oh my God.
He kissed me.
He fucking kissed me.
And the worst part? I kissed him back. Was that the worst part? No. It wasn't. Why would it be? But then another memory hit me like a rock to the head. The queen was there. He fucking kissed me in front of the queen. I remembered everything now. After he kissed me, I saw from the corner of my eye the queen standing there, watching us with a huge smile on her face.
Then she suddenly covered her eyes and said, "I didn't see anything." And with that she left, leaving me and the emperor alone.
And then he kissed me again. And again. And again. Until I reached my room. He kept kissing me. And I didn't pull away.
Instead…
I kissed him back.
Fucking hell.
What did I do?
There I was, telling the queen that something between me and the emperor was impossible…
Yet here I was, kissing him back the moment his lips touched mine.
I'm such a liar.
"You remembered?" he asked softly.
"Remember what?" I lied.
I don't even know why I tried to lie. I probably looked like I had just seen a ghost.
"You know exactly what," he said in a low, deep voice.
I cleared my throat, trying to compose myself.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You don't know …" He paused for a second. "Well, I guess I'll have to help you remember."
"What?" I asked, surprised.
Before I could react, he was already kissing me. More like devouring my lips. I was shocked, surprised—but I didn't pull away. Instead, I kissed him back. I closed my eyes and followed his rhythm.
After what felt like an eternity, I pulled away, breaking the kiss so I could breathe. I looked down. I was too shy to look at him. His lips were really soft. Very kissable.
"Did you remember now?" he whispered near my ear.
I didn't answer. I just nodded. He placed two fingers under my chin and gently lifted my head. My cheeks were burning. He smiled, then kissed my forehead.
"You're cute when you're shy," he said.
"I'm not shy," I replied. Which was a complete lie. I was extremely shy.
"Do you believe that yourself?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah…"
"You know," he said with a smile, "your body is far more sincere than your mouth."
He was still holding me close, his arm wrapped around my waist.
"You shouldn't be with the officials now?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
"You want to get rid of me?" he asked.
"No! I was just asking."
"Not today," he said proudly. "Today they have a day off."
"Do they?" I asked suspiciously. "Or did you give them the day off so you could come here?"
"You know me," he said with a mischievous smile.
"What is your plan for today?" I asked.
"Spending the day with you."
"With me?"
"Yes. Today I'm all yours."
"Just today?" I asked playfully.
He smiled. "Do you really think only today?"
I was speechless.
What was I supposed to say to that?
When he noticed I was just staring at him, he kissed my lips again. Then he took my hand and started pulling me with him.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"For a walk", he said.
We walked through the garden, surrounded by flowers. I tried to focus on the scenery.
"These flowers are beautiful," I said.
"I already have the most beautiful flower," he replied. "That's enough for me."
I looked at him with a 'what the hell' expression. And there he was, staring at me with those lovey-dovey eyes. Once again, he left me speechless.
We sat down in the garden and started drinking tea and eating sweets. Well… Not exactly. He kept feeding sweets to me. Every time I tried to take one myself, he would grab it first and feed it to me instead.
"You should eat too," I said.
"I would rather not eat now," he replied. "It's enough for me that you are eating."
Instead of arguing, I started feeding him sweets as well. After we finished the tea, he had to return to his private office to go through memorials and other work. At first I told him I would leave and let him work. But he refused. He didn't even want to go back to work once he heard I wouldn't stay.
Honestly, what did he expect? It would be boring for me. Just sitting there watching him work. But he didn't listen. So, in order for him to actually do his job, I went with him. He made me sit beside him while he read the memorials. I was bored out of my mind. But at the same time…
I couldn't stop staring at him. Watching him so focused, so serious—it made him even more attractive.
Lord…
I can't keep lying to myself. I like this man. But admitting it makes me feel like a huge liar in front of the queen.
I told her one thing…
Yet I feel the complete opposite.
I wonder…
Will she blame me?
Will she be annoyed?
Will she be angry?