BAO JI (LIA)
For a few minutes, we just looked at each other. How am I supposed to start this conversation?
Come on, Lia… you can do this.
"Are you going to keep staring at me, or will you say what's on your mind?" the Queen said.
"How have you been these past few days?" I asked hesitantly.
"Besides seeing the concubines every day and having the same conversations over and over… I'm fine."
The awkwardness in the air was so thick I felt like I could slice it with a knife.
How do I even start?
Should I just say it?
I was so determined before coming here, and now… I feel like a little mouse ready to run.
"Uhm… I—"
"Just say it," the Queen said.
"I don't know where to start… or how to say it," I admitted, my voice filled with shyness and guilt.
"That's new. You're usually bold," she said, clearly surprised.
Honestly… I was surprising myself too. I took a deep breath. And just went for it.
"I'm sorry," I said, shutting my eyes tightly.
"Sorry for what?"
I opened my eyes and looked straight at her.
"I said it was impossible between me and His Majesty… and yet here I am, spending time with him… kissing him. I didn't even come to the morning greetings. I didn't even come to see you."
She shook her head once. Then twice.
"Well… it is your fault."
I knew it. She was upset. Disappointed.
Sadness crept into me instantly.
"Silly girl," she said, smiling.
"What?" I blinked, confused.
"I'm not upset about you and His Majesty."
"Really?" Hope slipped into my voice.
"I'm upset that you didn't come to me immediately. That you avoided me."
"I didn't know how to face you," I admitted quietly.
She stepped closer, took my hand, and I stood up so we were at the same level. So I could look into her eyes.
"Do you really think I would be upset because you and the emperor got closer? Because you finally admitted your feelings? Because he is finally honest with his?"
"I know you don't like seeing the concubines around him…"
"And you're comparing yourself to them?" she asked, shocked.
"No…?"
"Stupid girl." She tapped my forehead lightly with her finger. "I'm happy."
"Really?"
"Of course. I saw your influence on him. I saw the way he looked at you. The lengths he goes to just make you happy. Only then is he truly happy. And you…" she smiled, "you kept denying something that was there from the beginning."
"It wasn't from the beginning," I said. "He was all over Bao Si, remember?"
"He was," she admitted. "But at the same time, he kept becoming more and more interested in you. He liked you. And now… he loves you more than his life."
"Let's not exaggerate," I said in disbelief.
"Did he ever allow himself to be punished in Bao Si's place?" she asked.
"…No," I answered hesitantly.
"I'm happy you came into his life."
Without thinking, I hugged her tightly.
"I can barely breathe," she laughed. "You're hugging me too tight."
"Sorry," I said quickly.
"But I'm still upset you avoided me," she added, turning away and pouting like a child.
"I'm sorry," I said, tugging lightly at her sleeve.
"I thought we were closer."
"We are," I said quickly. "You're like a sister to me. I was just afraid of losing you. You're the only person this close to me… I'm sorry."
She turned her head away, arms crossed, still pretending to be upset. I hugged her from the side.
"How can I make it up to you… sis?"
She side-eyed me. Then after a few seconds, she said:
"Serve me."
My hands dropped to my sides. My eyes widened.
"What?"
"For two days, you will stay by my side and serve me."
We both burst out laughing. Then I bowed slightly.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"But now…" I added, "what punishment should we give His Majesty?"
"You really want to see the emperor punished?" she asked.
"Come on. It's not something you see every day. We can't miss this."
"Alright, alright," the Queen said.
We quickly sat down as her maid called the emperor.
The Queen and I sat side by side while the emperor stood in front of us.
"Have you decided on my punishment?" he asked.
"Yes," I answered.
"The punishment," the Queen said, "is that Concubine Ji will spend two days with me, serving me… and you are not allowed to see her during that time."
"Why does she have to serve you?" the emperor asked, his expression turning serious.
"She feels guilty for avoiding me. So she will make it up by spending time with me," the Queen explained.
"Can you choose another punishment?" he said. "I cannot go a day without seeing her."
"You said I could punish you", the Queen reminded him.
"Yes, but—"
"Two days will pass quickly," I said. "Just focus on court matters. It will be over before you know it."
Even I hated this idea. But I really wanted to make it up to the Queen.
"This is the worst punishment," the emperor said, pouting.
The Queen and I both chuckled.
"It truly isn't something you see every day," she added.
"You two really plotted against me."
I stood up quickly, walked to him, and hugged him briefly.
"I'll let you know when I return," I said.
"No matter how late it is… tell me," he replied.
I nodded. He kissed my forehead, hugged me again, and then left. The moment he was gone, the Queen and I burst out laughing. I returned to my seat beside her. She leaned closer to me.
"Now," she said, lowering her voice, "tell me everything."
"What do you mean?"
"How did you two get to this point? I'm dying of curiosity."
"It feels… weird talking about this with you."
"You'll get over it. Now talk."
Seeing her like this lifted a giant weight off my chest. I never imagined I would sit here… talking about my relationship with the emperor—with the queen. It felt incredibly strange. And yet… I loved it. She accepted me. She could have turned her back on me. She could have been angry.
But she wasn't. She was happier than I was.
I never thought I would end up in a situation where I would share a man. Even if they don't… They act like a couple, but she is still his lawful wife. And I'm just a concubine. I used to hate even the idea.
And now…
Look at me.
"So… it started like this…" I said.