Then the person who opened the door was none other than Pa. I hadn't expected him to open the door, but maybe somewhere deep inside me, I had. After all, he was the only one who had stayed connected to me through all those four years.
The moment I saw him standing there in front of me after so many years, my eyes instantly turned watery. I smiled brightly and said, "Pa… long time no see."
I tried controlling my emotions, every single one of them, but I have always been terrible at hiding what I feel. No matter how much I try to bury my emotions inside myself, they always find their way out of me eventually. And right now was exactly one of those moments.
My tears slowly rolled down my cheeks as I looked at him and asked excitedly, "Pa, where is Ma? And where is Xin Xin? I really want to see them. How do they look now after so many years? I'm so excited. Tell me, Pa… why are you so quiet?"
But he didn't answer even one of my questions.
And now his silence was starting to suffocate me slowly like poison.
Pa placed one hand gently on my shoulder and looked straight into my eyes before speaking in a voice I had never heard from him before.
"Xiao Shiza… what I am about to tell you now is going to be very difficult for you. But I can't hide it anymore. I really can't. Today is finally the right time for you to know the truth… the truth I have been hiding from you for the past four years."
The moment he said that, my heart dropped.
I immediately held both of his hands tightly in mine and asked nervously, "Pa… you're really scaring me now. Please tell me what truth you are talking about. I'm really confused. Tell me… where is Ma? Is she still angry with me? Is she still that upset with me that she doesn't even want to see me after all these years?"
My voice shook badly as tears kept falling.
"If that's the reason… then I'll just go back to Shanghai right now. At least Ma can stay happy with you and Xin Xin. My presence will only make her angry again…"
After saying that, I turned around and grabbed the handle of my suitcase, ready to leave.
But then Pa's voice stopped me from behind.
"Xiao Shiza… your mother will never be able to see you again… even if she wants to."
My whole body froze.
I slowly turned around and looked at him sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the floor.
Then he continued in a broken voice.
"Xiao Shiza… I hid this truth from you from the very day you left for Shanghai after Gaokao. Because I knew how sensitive you were since childhood. Even the smallest thing could affect your whole life. I was scared that if I told you the truth back then… you would destroy yourself completely."
His tears finally fell.
"And because I loved you too much… I became selfish. I made the decision for you myself. You were still too young in my eyes, so I did what I thought was right for you. But now I realize… taking away a daughter's right to know the truth about her own mother was wrong. So wrong."
He looked at me helplessly.
"All I can say now is… I'm sorry, Xiao Shiza. I'm so sorry."
I couldn't understand anything anymore.
Nothing was making sense.
I walked toward him slowly and sat down on the floor in front of him.
"Pa… did you and Ma get divorced?"
The moment I asked that, he let out a painful laugh filled with unbearable sorrow.
I quickly wiped his tears with my hands.
But then he held my hand and said softly, "My Xiao Shiza is still the same little daughter of mine…"
He smiled sadly.
"I wish what you just said was true. That would have been a much better situation than this."
Then suddenly he broke down completely.
"Your Ma is no more."
My breathing stopped.
"She died in a car accident… on the very same day you left for Shanghai."
My eyes widened.
"The brakes of the car failed… and she left us."
Every word coming out of his mouth felt unreal.
"But I was such a terrible father that I made you believe all these years that your Ma was punishing you by refusing to talk to you. But tell me… how can a mother stop talking to her daughter for four whole years? It was all a lie."
He covered his face with both hands and cried helplessly.
"She wanted to talk to you, Xiao Shiza… she really did. The moment you left for Shanghai, after a few hours she said she wanted to video call you and ask you to show her your dormitory. She even said she had been too harsh on you… and wanted to make it up to you."
His voice broke again.
"She went out to buy your favorite strawberry cake. She wanted to cut it together with you over video call and celebrate your new beginning in Shanghai…"
I stared at him blankly.
"But fate had different plans."
He cried harder.
"She couldn't even buy the cake before the accident happened. I was in an office meeting when I got the call that she had been hospitalized. But when I reached there…"
His voice disappeared.
"It was already too late."
Silence filled the entire house.
I couldn't cry.
I couldn't even move.
My brain had completely stopped processing everything.
After a long moment, I finally whispered, "So… it was all a lie?"
Pa looked at me with guilt all over his face.
"The avoided phone calls… the short conversations… the reason you never let me come home during vacations…"
Everything suddenly made sense.
"So Ma wanted to love me… but fate didn't let her."
"Your Ma still loves you, Xiao Shiza," he said while crying. "She still does. I know she's watching over you and blessing you every day."
I lowered my eyes toward the floor and asked quietly, "Where is Xin Xin?"
Pa sighed deeply.
"Xin Xin was always stronger than you emotionally. The first few months were difficult for both of us, but slowly life kept us busy. She moved to Beijing for work and later met a man named Yang Yi. They fell in love and got married there."
He looked away bitterly.
"I couldn't even attend her wedding because of my business meetings."
Then he continued.
"After your Ma left… I buried myself completely into work so I wouldn't have time to think about her anymore."
He paused before speaking again.
"Xin Xin fought with me because I didn't allow her to contact you. She wanted you to come to her wedding too. But I was scared that if you came back then, you would learn the truth. At that time you were still in your second year of university… and I couldn't risk your future."
He closed his eyes painfully.
"She got angry with me after that. We haven't spoken properly in over one and a half years now. But Yang Yi… he's a very good man. Every week he still calls me to update me about Xin Xin."
I looked down silently.
"So she forgot us…"
"No," Pa replied immediately. "She just learned how to survive her pain."
Then suddenly my phone started ringing.
I took it out from my bag.
And Pa's eyes instantly fell on the caller ID.
Yuan Yuan Calling…
The moment he read the name on my screen, his entire expression changed immediately.
His face turned pale.
And in a strange, unfamiliar tone, he suddenly said—
"Cut the call immediately. Don't pick it up."
I looked at him in confusion.
"Why?" I asked softly.
Then Pa said…