"If you don't get the hell out of the bath I'm going to join you in it."
"Ha! You wouldn't dare, Human."
I jiggle the handle.
The water sloshes angrily, and his voice cracks when he speaks. "Don't you dare! I'll throw you out!"
"Then get out of the tub."
"I got here first!"
"Fine! I'll just sit in the tub with you, then." I start pulling on the door.
He lets out a screech that sounds like he's being murdered, and leaps out of the bath. "I'll kill you! I'll drown you! You're an invasive species! This is my habitat!"
"Your habitat is a tub, fishboy?"
"I won't be called fishboy by someone who looks like a frog!" He shouts from the other side of the door, and I hear him scrambling to get his robe on.
"Excuse you!" I huff, and open the door.
He is standing just on the other side, his long, dark blue hair dripping, and his robes soaking wet and clinging to his body. His hands are balled up into fists, and his eyes are narrowed at me. His chest and collar are pulsing violently.
"Move." He demands.
I don't. "You were in there for three hours!"
"That's a normal therapeutic amount of time!" He shoves me, and I stumble back, losing my bearing and smacking into the wall.
Concern flashes across his face, but only for a moment. Then his expression flattens, his chest glows, and he sniffs. "I. Didn't mean to. Push you. That hard." He says, as if he's pulling the words out of himself. "But it's your fault." He adds, just as stubbornly, and pushes past me.
"Asshole." I snap, but he's already gone, stalking down the hall.
I sigh and shake my head, before entering the bathroom and shutting the door. I don't know why he's so... him. It's like he goes out of his way to be annoying.
Then again, he's not the only one.
But I will make. No apologies.
I strip off my clothes and toss them aside, before stepping into the tub. The water is still warm, and I sink down into it with a groan of pleasure. Maybe he has a point about the therapeutic qualities of it. It does feel good.
I close my eyes and lean back, letting the warmth seep into my bones. I'm tired. It's been a long day. A long few days, really.
I'm still trying to adjust to this new life. To the fact that I'm not going home. That I'm not going to see my friends again. That I'm stuck here, in this strange place, with these strange people.
It's... a lot.
And I don't know how to deal with it.
I've learned to be strong. To strike back. To fight and claw my way to the surface every time I'm dragged down, but this... is different. I don't think it's something I can fight. It's not as easy to slip away. I'm not sure I'm willing to find out what happens if I try the violent path and fail.
I've never had to do it on my own before, and I don't think it'll just... work if I try.
I hate it.
But I don't have a choice. Not yet.
I don't know how long I sit there, just soaking. But eventually, I hear a knock on the door.
"Fuck off-"
"Sarah? Are you in there?" Oh, it's Mira. Not the fish.
"Yeah." I sigh. "What's up?"
"Master wants to see you." She says, cheerfully.
Of course. Of course he does.
I groan, and sit up. "I'll be right there."
"Okay! I'll wait for you outside." I hear her walk away, humming to herself.
I sigh, and get out of the tub. I quickly dry myself off, and put on a clean set of clothes. The same kind of outfit as before, a dress and shoes. I don't really care about the fashion here, but I guess it's better than the weird, skintight thing from yesterday.
I walk out of the bathroom, and find Mira waiting for me. She's holding some flower and twirling it in her fingers. "Hi!" She says, brightly. "Ready?"
I nod, and we start walking. "Do you know why he wants to see me?" I ask.
"Nope!" She pops the 'p'. "He just told me to fetch you. Maybe he wants to give you a job."
"Ugh. Don't remind me." I grimace.
She giggles. "Don't worry! You'll be fine. Jobs are fun!"
I doubt that. But I don't argue with her. It's not worth it.
We walk through the manor, and I can't help but glance around. It's still so... big. So grand. So alien. I don't think I'll ever get used to it.
We reach the big doors of the room I met Xilukulkas in, and Mira knocks. The doors open, and she steps aside. "Go on in!"
I take a deep breath, and walk inside.
The room is... different this time. The bed is gone, and there's a desk instead. It's large, and made of dark wood, with a glass top. There are papers and books and other things scattered on it, and there's a chair behind it. Xilukulkas is sitting in the chair, his long legs stretched out in front of him, his hands folded on his chest. He's wearing a different robe today, this one a deep purple with gold embroidery. His hair is tied up in a bun, and his antennae-like things are twitching slightly.
He appears...
To be napping? He's not moving, and his eyes are closed. His breathing is slow and steady. He looks peaceful, almost angelic.
I don't know if I should wake him up, or just... wait. I shuffle anxiously.
"Sarah." His voice is soft, and his eyes open. They're a bright, vivid green today, and they lock onto mine immediately. "Welcome."
"Uh... hi." I say, awkwardly. "Did you... want me for something?"
"Yes." He smiles, and sits up, his hands moving to rest on the desk. "I have a proposition for you."
I frown. "What kind of proposition?"
"You have been here for a few days now. You have met some of the others, and you have seen the manor. How do you like it?"
"It's... nice." I admit. "It's very... big."
He chuckles, a low, rumbling sound. "Yes, it is. I like to collect things. And so, I need quite a bit of space."
I nod. I guess that makes sense.
"However, I do not like to keep my things idle. I believe that everything should have a purpose. A use. A reason for being." He leans forward, his hands clasped together. "That includes you."
My heart skips a beat. I knew this was coming, but it still makes me nervous. "What... I. Have. Three days. I was told." I repeat the words carefully.
He tilts his head, and his antennae flick. "Ah, yes. I see. You were told that, hm? Well, yes. You do have that time to choose a role. But it seems you are quite overwhelmed. If you wish, I can simply assign you something, of course..." he trails off, and looks at me, expectantly.
"No!" I blurt out. "I don't want that."
I don't know what he'd assign me to do, but I doubt I'd like it. I'd rather choose my own poison, as the saying goes.
"Very well." He says, smiling. "Then, perhaps I shall have you shadow Llywelyn? Not to do his duties, of course, but to get a... feel for the things you may do." He gestures, vaguely
"He does anything?" Because so far I've seen him bathe, eat, sleep, and not feed the bird he's supposed to feed. I don't know what kind of jobs he does around here.
Xilukulkas laughs again. "As little as he can manage. But he does have his share of responsibilities. And you will see them. You will learn the workings of the manor, and the planet. You will assist him, and in doing so, you will find what suits you best."
I hesitate. I don't know if I want to spend time with Llywelyn. He's... a lot. But... it would be better than being assigned something random. And I do want to know more about this place. About what's expected of me.
"Okay." I say, finally. "I'll do it."
He smiles, and his eyes shift from green to gold. "Good. I am pleased. I think you will do well here, Sarah."
"Don't think I want to."
"Perhaps not." He agrees, apparently not offended. "But I do think you will find your niche. You are a resourceful creature. You will adapt."
I guess I'll have to. I don't have much choice.
"Very well." He says, and stands up. "I will inform Llywelyn of your decision. You may go."
I nod, and turn to leave. But then I stop, and look back at him. He's watching me, his expression curious. I don't know what makes me ask, but I do.
"Why do you want me to find a job? I mean... I'm just a... a thing to you, right? A possession. Why does it matter what I do?"
He seems surprised by the question. He tilts his head again, and his antennae flutter. "Because you are a sentient being. And sentients deserve to have a purpose. A meaning. Otherwise... what is the point?"
I don't know what to say to that. I just stare at him, and he smiles, softly.
"Go on, Sarah. I will see you later."
I nod, and leave the room.
And I don't know what to think.
I end up wandering the halls again, my mind full of thoughts. I don't know what to make of Xilukulkas. He's... not what I expected. He's not cruel, or demanding, or condescending. He's... gentle. Kind. Understanding.
But he's still the one who claims to own me. He is the one who took me away from the planet that I needed to be on for Alistair to find me again.
No...
No, I suppose that isn't fair. It's easy to rage and hate him for it, but it wasn't as if he dragged me from my bed in the tidal pump station. Had he not intervened, it's almost certain I'd be dead, not quietly waiting in that processing camp. After everything they associated with me doing, especially once they realized the other rebels escaped... I have no doubt.
But even so. It's hard to reconcile the two sides of him. The owner, and the man. The master, and the person.
I don't know if I can.
I sigh, and lean against a wall, closing my eyes. I'm tired. I'm so tired. I just want to... rest. But I've slept enough. And I've yet to wake up home. The one thing I want more than anything.
"You look troubled."
I open my eyes, and see Jxyim standing in front of me. She's wearing a long, flowing dress, the same pale purple as before, and her hair is done up in a complicated braid. She looks like a fairy tale princess. No, she looks like a fairy princess.
A tall one.
I straighten up, and try to smile. "I'm fine."
She doesn't seem convinced. She steps closer, and places a hand on my arm. Her touch is cool, and light. "You should guard your light. It is dimmer than before."
"What does that even mean?" I ask, confused.
She smiles, a sad, wistful smile. "It means you are not happy. You are... fading. Losing your sparkle."
"I don't sparkle." I deadpan.
She giggles, and shakes her head. "You do. You just don't see it. But I do. We all do. You are a bright, shining thing, Sarah. And you should not let yourself go out."
"Thought I was feeling better..." I mutter.
I suppose I was. For a moment. But now... now I'm just tired again.
"I'm sure you were." She agrees. "But it is hard to hold onto that feeling, isn't it?"
I nod. It is. It really is.
She pats my arm, and then steps back. "Come. Let me show you something. It will help."
I raise a brow, but I don't argue. I'm curious, and I don't have anything else to do. So I follow her, through the halls, to a door I haven't seen before. It's made of metal, and it looks heavy. Jxyim places her hand on a panel beside it, and it slides open, revealing a dark space beyond.
She steps inside, and I hesitate. "What is this place?" I ask.
"My home." She says, simply. "Come. It is safe."
I bite my lip, but then follow her. The door closes behind us, and the room is plunged into darkness. I can't see anything, and I reach out, trying to find Jxyim. For some reason, even though her hair is made of light, usually, and she herself tends to glow, I can't see her at all.
Then, a soft light begins to glow, and I realize it's her. Her skin is lit up from within, a gentle, pulsing white. She looks like... like a star. A tiny, beautiful star.
I stare at her, mesmerized. She smiles, and takes my hand. "This is how we are. In the dark. We shine."
I look around, and see that we're in a small room, with a bed, a table, a chair. Nothing else. It's... sparse. Empty. Lonely.
"Do you... live here? Alone?" I ask, softly.
"Yes." She nods. "I like it. It is quiet. Peaceful. I can be myself here. I don't have to speak with anyone or engage in thought and performance."
She leads me to the bed, and we sit down. The light from her body casts strange shadows on the walls. "I am not like the others. Not like you. Not like Llywelyn, or Mira. I am... different. I am... broken."
"Broken?" I repeat, frowning.
She nods, and looks down at her hands. "I was... damaged. Before I came here. My light was... shattered. Because of that, I cannot shine as bright as I should. If I were whole, I could light this entire manor with just my presence. But now... I can barely do this." She gestures to herself, and the soft glow.
I don't know what to say. I don't know how to respond. I've never heard of anything like this. I don't know what it means. But I can see the sadness in her eyes, the pain in her voice. And I can't just... ignore it.
"I'm sorry." I say, and I mean it.
She looks up at me, and smiles. It's a small, sad smile, but it's genuine. "Thank you. But it is not your fault. And it is good. This is brighter than it was before." She holds up her hand, and it brightens, white enough that it's difficult for me to look at, especially in this dark room. "When we lose our light, we die. But Master found me, just a fading ember, and he gave me a home before I could die. A place where I am safe. Where I can be. And my light has grown, little by little. Every day."
I blink away the spots in my vision, and look at her. She's still glowing, but not as brightly as before. "That's... good, right? You're healing."
"Yes." She agrees. "I am. But it is slow. And I will never be what I was." She sighs, and leans back on her hands. "But in return...I can glow without my brethren. I can be alone. I can have... a self. It is... a trade."
I don't know what she means by that, but I don't ask. I think I get the gist of it, at least.
"That's why I brought you here." She says, turning her head to look at me. "To show you that here... you will not get back what you once were, but you will get what you need to go forward. You will heal. You will grow. You will find your light again. It will not be the same as before, but it will be yours. And you will shine."
She reaches out, and places her hand over my chest. "You will shine, Sarah. Bright and beautiful and strong. And you will be happy. I know it."
I swallow, and I can feel tears stinging my eyes. I don't know why. I don't know if I believe her. Finding some kind of happiness or 'home' here? Away from Earth, away from Hestia, my family, from Alistair...?
It sounds impossible.
But her words are kind. Her touch is gentle. And I want to believe her. I want to believe that maybe, someday, I'll be okay.
"Thank you." I whisper, and she smiles.
We sit there for a while, just... being. I don't know how long. But eventually, she stands up, and helps me up, too. "Come. Let us go back. Llywelyn will miss you." She giggles, and I can't help but laugh, too, mostly at the absurdity.
"Yeah, right." I say, rolling my eyes. "He's probably already started a five hour bath."
"Perhaps." She agrees, and leads me to the door. "But he is more unpredictable than you realize." And with a tap of her hand, the door opens again, and we step out into the bright, bustling hallway.
I blink, adjusting to the light, and Jxyim takes her hand from mine. "Remember what I said, Sarah." She says, looking at me. "You will find your light. And it will be wonderful."
I nod, and give her a small smile. "I'll try."
She smiles back, and walks away, leaving me standing there, alone.
I take a deep breath, and look around. The manor is still as strange and overwhelming as before, but... I feel a little better. A little more... hopeful.
I don't know if Jxyim is right. I don't know if I'll ever be happy here. But...
Maybe I can be.
And at any rate... no matter what, I'll figure out... something to do.
Something.
That's just the kind of girl I am.
I've figured that much out, at least.