I couldn't take my eyes off what was in front of me. I had to call someone, ask for help.
I was scared, I was desperate.
He was surrounded by darkness.
But in that darkness, a light came towards me, a light in the shape of a hand caressed my face.
I could feel how warm she was.
Thanks to her, the darkness dissipated, and only I remained.
But before I can thank him…
My alarm was ringing. As always, at the same time and as part of my routine, I got out of bed.Without even taking off my pajamas
, I opened my bedroom door to find the hallway completely dark. Normally, the light would be on, since Amaya usually woke up a little before me. Don't tell me…
I peeked into the hallway and saw that Amaya's bedroom door was closed. I could already guess what had happened. I went to her room and carefully opened the door.
"Amaya?" There was no response. "Amaya." Nothing. "Amaya!"
"W-What, w-what?!" As if she were a cat, she jumped out of bed as soon as she heard me scream.
"Come on, you've fallen asleep."
"Ah, mhm. Sorry."
Still half asleep, her first thought was to apologize. She couldn't say if it was because she had just woken up, but she sounded downcast.
"It's okay. And I should be the one apologizing, not because I did anything wrong, but because of all the running you're going to have to do today."
"Yeah… It's a pain in the ass…"
Telling her such motivating news only made her even more depressed.
"Well, go then, I want to change."
"Yes, as you wish." And so, I left her room without a word, to then continue with my routine of having breakfast, washing my face and teeth, and getting dressed, and by chance, Amaya had time to get ready, although her hair was a mess. I must have judged her too harshly with my eyes, because she answered me.
"I'll comb my hair on the way."
And so, we took the train together.
The only times she goes out with people, or goes out at all, is to go to class, to run errands, or when we force her to go out.
I've always worried that Amaya doesn't have any friends; I obsess over it, and I'm always complaining that she doesn't have anyone. She hasn't told me much about the people in her class, only that they're all pretty average, and that she's better off alone, although I don't know if I believe her.
She's actually quite shy, but at the same time, she doesn't show much interest in trying to meet new people, just like me. I hope she's doing well with her studies too. I'd like to help her with anything, but in the end, I just end up causing her more problems. I always end up venting to her, and she's always the one who comforts me. There's a reason she knows me so well; I'm like an open book when I'm with her. She's a better person than I'll ever be. She doesn't deserve to be alone. Although I don't see that it affects her much, she's also a bit more withdrawn than usual. Doesn't she trust me enough? Or is it because she doesn't want to hurt or upset me? It's probably the latter. And if she hasn't said anything, it's because she's okay. I trust her.
"…"
Without warning, someone put their arm around my shoulder.
"Hey."
"Oh, hi." It was &$%"!, and behind him were =@º\' and _¨*^?¿·.
"What's up? Are you more spaced out than _¨*^?¿·, haven't you slept, or are you still thinking about yesterday's question?" &$%"! said mockingly.
"Ah, no, I was just spaced out."
"You could say something funnier…"
"Like what? That the other day I saw you hiding in the courtyard reading an ecchi manga?" As soon as I said that, =@º\' started laughing, and _¨*^?¿· just smiled a little.
"You know I don't have anything like that. And I'd never read something like that in high school."
"So what's hidden in your dresser drawer?"
There was absolutely nothing in my drawer, just so you know.
"&$%"! remained silent for a moment, not embarrassed, but annoyed.
"Under your mattress, in the top corner." &$%"! responded with an even bigger threat.
Now, even _¨*^?¿· was laughing, although, in my defense, only a little!
With a serious face, I extended my hand, offering a handshake to &$%"!.
"Let's call it a draw."
He accepted it, and responded in a serious tone as well.
"No, I win."
"Third drawer, under all the junk you have in there."
As she said that, I felt my hand being crushed. How rude of her.
Just because it was me, it hurt twice as much as it should. I don't like being weak, but I'm not going to try to change that.
"I think calling it a draw is a good idea," she said in a calm, friendly voice.
"Okay, okay, sorry. But stop it!" Even though it was verbal, I don't know why I get into these kinds of fights. I always end up losing. With the body I have, it's understandable. It's not right to physically abuse people!
In the fourth period, before break, we had a "general class," which wasn't really a class at all, since it was more like an extra recess. It was supposed to be a homeroom, but whatever.
People couldn't stand up, but they could talk. All thanks to the teacher, who didn't do a thing. His hard work is appreciated. Of my friends, only &$%"! is close by, and he's behind me. At least =@º\' and _¨*^?¿· are together too. I was reading instead of talking to &$%"!, since he was doing yesterday's homework, and today's too. Obviously, he was reading a light novel. At that point, I assumed everyone had a bad impression of me, and I didn't care. In the middle of the noise, unexpectedly, the teacher raised his voice.
"Everyone be quiet for a moment!" The class fell silent almost instantly. He didn't sound angry, but he was a little intimidating.
"You know I let you relax during this class, but sometimes you have to work. I've brought out a worksheet so you can—" The whole class cut the teacher off with a chorus of boos, and he shushed them again.
"Ahem. The worksheet is about what you want to do in the future. Be honest, because I'll be giving this to your tutor later." And so he handed out the sheets one by one. I was actually debating whether to leave mine blank.
"What are you going to write, Riku?" said the voice behind me.
"Oh, well, I'll probably write that I don't know, or something like that."
"Seriously, you still don't know what to do?"
"It's not like I'm late, or that it's very urgent. Besides, I'm sure I'm not the only one."
"If you weren't the only one, there would be more people not writing in class." After that jerk said that, I glanced around the class. I realized that literally everyone was writing except for the two of us.
"So, do you know what you're going to do for work then, jerk?"
"I might go into film or photography. I've mentioned it to you a few times, haven't I?"
"That's true..." More than once I've spent time looking for a job I'd actually like, because I'm not going to do something that requires a lot of studying, or that I'd find tedious. Not because I'm doing badly in my studies, but because if I were going to do that, I'd rather shoot myself. In the end, I lied on the form.
I wrote that I'd go into something related to economics, which is honestly what I think I'd like the most. Within reason, of course. This might seem irrelevant on the surface, but it's what worries me the most. Lately, I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. What do I have to do to find that thing I really love?
Later, after class, the four of us went to the cafeteria. Normally, when the four of us get together, we go out to the playground, but today, neither &$%"! nor _¨*^?¿· had brought food. _¨*^?¿·' doesn't usually eat at recess, but today he was hungrier than usual. &$%"! had simply forgotten. We decided to stay there, since we were already there. It was really hot outside.
"Hey, &$%"!. Did you buy Super Smash Bros. yet, or not?" "No. Are you that eager to play it?"
"Yes!" I said enthusiastically, "I want to beat you all up, like in the last game!"
"Sure, since you can't even beat _¨*^?¿· in person, you prefer to humiliate us by playing." He answered =@º\', with a slightly mocking tone, as if he were complaining about something.
"Ehh, no, I think he'd beat me in a fight, =@º\'." He emphasized _¨*^?¿, not really knowing how to respond to such a "compliment." Whenever we hung out, we did it at &$%'!'s house.
His parents are very nice, and he was the one who had all the multiplayer games. Sometimes we just hung out there for a while. I'm never going to turn down a place to sit and be comfortable.
"I feel bad asking my parents for another game. That's like 3 this month already."
"But we all chipped in to pay for it! And besides, you took your share out of your savings."
"Well, if I feel like it, I'll ask them ho-"
Suddenly, someone slammed their fist on a table while shouting.
"I don't find this funny at all!" The cafeteria felt like a funeral. Everyone was looking in the direction the shout came from. The one who yelled was a kid. Probably one of those who had repeated a year once or twice, and he was with a friend. At the table, another kid, who looked like a nerd, was sitting to his left. This kid didn't have anything on the table, and he looked like he was about to leave. This smells like trouble. Ignore them, Riku.
"I-I already told you I don't have it."
"I told you yesterday to bring it! I've been telling you for two days!"
The older kid sounded angry, although he seemed to be exaggerating a bit. The 'nerd,' on the other hand, was scared and nervous.
"That's right! You have to give us the money, you little shit!" "I'm not going to let this go!" With that, the kid grabbed the 'nerd' by the arm, trying to drag him away.
Huh? What is this, Disney Channel? Since when am I in the '80s? All that's left is for them to approach the kid snapping their fingers...
The oldest had just taken advantage of the moment when the 'waitresses' went inside to the kitchen.
The rest of the students had stopped watching the scene. I suppose they didn't want to get involved, or they weren't interested in what was happening.
It surprises me, since people like to stick their noses into everything. Well, there was someone who wanted to stick his nose into the matter. =@º\', thinking he was a hero, got up from his seat.
"What the hell are you doing?" I scolded him, in a low voice. "If you want to stay here, go ahead, but let me go." I tried to stop him, but it was like talking to a brick wall.
"You don't have to get involved in things like this. You're not going to come out of it looking good."
"Look, all I want is to vent about the last game. It's not going to be that big of a deal."
You didn't even lose the last game!
Maybe he was deliberately looking for a fight, so the bully would focus on him instead of the kid. From what I know, =@º\' isn't one to get into fights much. =@º\' headed towards the bully. After thinking twice, &$%"! followed him.
"If I don't go with you, you're bound to cause trouble." And now they both want to start a fight?! They might be in good physical shape, especially =@º\, but it still seems silly to me.
As if we were children! Someone will get up and find a teacher!
Both _¨*^?¿· and I remained seated. I didn't want to get involved, and even if _¨*^?¿· wanted to, I don't think their embarrassment would have allowed it. Even if they were going, I wasn't going to accompany them just because they were my friends. I was a little embarrassed too, and I'd only do more harm than good.
"We'll have to call a teacher..." said _¨*^?¿·. I suppose they wanted me to go and get one.
"You can wait. Someone will come with one. And anyway, they know what they're doing. Besides, a teacher can't fix this, not even close. They might stop it, but it will probably happen again in the future." I made that perfectly clear, just so you know.
"Who do you think you are, other than a clown, to get up like that?" Seeing how =@º\ and &$%"! were approaching him, the bully turned his attention to them.
"Someone who doesn't have two brain cells, unlike the rat I have here in front of me."
"If you want to rile me up even more, then let's go to the fucking courtyard." Damn, now he sounds even angrier. At least he has enough sense not to start fighting here.
Both &$%"! and the bully's friend stayed behind each of them, though they weren't completely covered by their backs. They looked like the support of a tank. They didn't take long to leave the cafeteria, heading straight for the courtyard.
I could have supported them, or tried to stop the situation, but I didn't want to go through that trouble and I left them alone. I'll apologize later. Or, should I even? Is it wrong not to want to fight with others? And isn't it already too late to act? I mean, it's been 6 minutes since they left.
Although I wasn't willing to do anything, someone decided to get up. "I'm going to find a teacher," she told me before leaving the cafeteria. Wow, I guess this is serious then. All the more reason not to get involved.
In the end, half the class stared at the kid they were picking on, and the other half stared at me…
What are you looking at? Did I do something weird?… Although, I'd like you to stop. I think I'll go.
The short time I sat there felt horribly awkward; it was like everyone in the cafeteria wanted to see me run after my friends, and they made me feel even more guilty than I should have after that last thing. Besides, it had already been 8 minutes since they left, and 2 since _¨*^?¿ left.
"…Ugh, damn it…" I muttered before getting up too.