I locked the door and slid down against it, knees to my chest. My whole body was shaking. My wrist burned so bad it felt like it had its own heartbeat.
I pressed my palm over my mouth but the sound of little pathetic whimpers still leaked out.
"No… no… please God don't let me die…" my voice cracked, barely even air. "Please… I can't die…"
I wasn't ready to die again. I finally had a life that wasn't a joke, a life where I wasn't the weird girl everyone avoided. A life where food and a bed weren't a question mark...where I didn't have to live like an orphan.
My fingers dug into my hair as I sobbed harder. "Why is it happening again?"
I'd gotten greedy for a family, greedy for warmth, greedy for a future where I could actually breathe. And maybe this was my punishment.
I curled tighter against the door, shaking so bad my teeth clicked. He would find me if I ran. He'd find me, just like tonight. It was like he had eyes everywhere.
What do I do? Think, Meredia, think… Mer—
𝘔𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢?
"No." The word shot out of me like a hiccup. "No, I'm not Meredia."
I swiped at my face, smearing tears across my cheeks. "I'm Sia. Meredia's dead. She died because she didn't know who he really was."
I pushed myself up, wobbling a little, and stumbled toward the bed. "I'm not Meredia. I can survive this. I can escape him. I can escape the marriage."
The room tilted but I gripped the bedpost, steadying myself. My voice was a whisper, but firmer this time. "I've survived worse. This is just a marriage. Duke loves me enough to listen. He'll listen. He has to."
I crawled onto the bed, hugging my wrapped wrist to my chest, whispering it over and over until the words felt real. "He has to."
I curled into myself, burying my face in the pillow, wrapping the quilt tight around my trembling body.
The room felt too quiet, and that quiet… it terrified me. The balcony doors were open, and the curtains swayed with the wind, brushing against the floor like whispers in the dark.
I pulled the quilt tighter, almost suffocating myself, and pressed it over my face.
𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱. 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦.
The faint hum of the birthday ball floated up from below, muffled by walls, yet even that distant cheer made my chest pound.
A knock came at the door. My body stiffened, and I shrank further into the quilt.
"Eri… are you alright?"
It was Duchess.
My throat tightened. I couldn't face her.
I forced my voice even, though it trembled under the quilt. "Yes, Mother… I… I'm very tired. I just… want to sleep."
"Are you certain? I can have the physician summoned at once."
"No, Mother. Really, I'll be fine. I… I'm sorry for causing any trouble tonight… at the celebration."
"Eri, do not apologize. Your health is of greater importance than any gathering."
The words should have comforted me, but instead, they pressed a weight onto my chest. Would my health… would I even matter to her if she knew I wasn't really her daughter? If she knew I wasn't Meredia?
The quilt trembled in my grip as I fought back the tears. I didn't want to lose this family. I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to be cared for, to be loved, to belong somewhere… anywhere.
Duchess's footsteps retreated, and I let out a shaky breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.
Sleep didn't come easy that night. Every creak of the house, every whisper of the wind against the balcony doors, made my heart leap.
It had been the hardest night of my life in this world, and I didn't know how many more I could survive like this…
Morning came with a headache pounding behind my eyes and a sharp pain like needles stabbing my temples.
I sat up, blinking hard. I was still in this room.
My gaze fell on my wrist. It was properly dressed now. linen strips wrapped neatly with small cords tying it in place. A faint smell of crushed herbs rose from under it. The wound still burned fresh beneath.
𝘒𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵.
I brushed my thumb against the strips, still half in a daze but something was wrong... 𝘞𝘢𝘪𝘵... 𝘓𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘴? 𝘕𝘰. 𝘕𝘰.
Last night it had been his handkerchief only not this… proper, tight dressing...not herbs.
My heart slammed against my ribs. My eyes dropped to my clothes. I was wearing a clean, white and soft nightgown.
But I had fallen asleep in my birthday dress. Smeone had changed and someone knew.
My breathing quickened.
𝘕𝘰.
It hit me like a slap. My family had found out. They must have thought I tried to kill myself. They must have thought—
I shot up from the bed, ignoring the throb in my wrist. I had to explain. I had to make them understand before they were ashamed of me, before everything went wrong.
I stumbled to the door and yanked it open—
—and froze.
A tall man stood just outside, his back straight, shoulders built like a wall. For a heartbeat my chest seized.
Kairan? Why did he come here? Was he here to threaten me again? I took a step back and tightened my grip on the door handle to close it quickly.
But he turned. It wasn't Kairan.
This man's hair was short, cropped almost to baldness but a weird olive glint catching in the morning light and eyes were brown, almost black. His outfit resembled Kirill's knight gear but bulkier: a dark tunic reinforced with leather over chainmail, heavy boots, a sword at his hip, polished shoulder guards.
He was built big like Kairan, maybe even more muscular, maybe even taller. His expression wasn't soft. His eyes flicked over me like he was evaluating a threat.
I stumbled back, my heel catching on the rug. I dropped onto my hips with a thud.
"Lady!" he barked, his voice gravelly and loud.
My heart lurched into my throat.
𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘒𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘦?
Another figure appeared behind him, peeking around his arm. This one was younger, shorter, with a bright smile that didn't quite match the situation. His eyes were lively silver, his brown hair tousled, and his voice carried a rural lilt.
"Lady! You wake up! We so light to see you awake," he said, words tumbling out in a soft, broken speech.
The two exchanged a glance. The younger one lightly punched the older man's arm. "Sir Fenric, you scare her."
"Ah… I apologise," the bigger man said, his tone gruff but a little softer now.
I scooted back on the floor, clutching my bandaged wrist to my chest, eyes flicking between them like a trapped animal.
𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺? 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?
The younger one stepped forward, holding out his hand. "Lady, hand… take. Apology accept. We have no ill intentions."
His warm eyes made it hard to refuse. I hesitated, then placed my trembling hand in his. He gently helped me to my feet, and both men stepped back.
The older one's voice cut through. ""My lady, we are sworn as your knights. I am Fenric Revlin, and this is Kael Torren."
Knights were people assigned for protection of someone important. They were for me. My chest tightened.
"But why… why do I need knights all of a sudden?" I shot back, taking a step forward. "Let me ask my father."
Fenric moved in front of me, blocking my path. . "My lady, we have been given strict orders not to permit your departure until Lord Kirill returns."
I blinked at him, frowning. "This is my home. I require no permission to come and go."
His jaw tightened, but he didn't break his composure. "We have our orders. It is our duty to obey them."
"Lady, we mean harm," Kael said with this ridiculously wide smile, like he was joking.
𝘔𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮?
I blinked. "Uh… what?"
Fenric swung his head toward him. SMACK!
"Are you witless? Do not speak when you know nothing."
Kael rubbed his head, looking genuinely confused. "What wrong I committed?"
Fenric bowed awkwardly, more like a flail than a bow. "Forgive him, my lady. He is young, and was raised among the Torren, an ancient tribal people of Valkathra. He is not well-versed in our tongue."
Kael nodded seriously, his brown hair hair flopping over his forehead. He was tiny, like a slightly taller version of Esther. And his skin was mahogany.... Somehow, he still looked terrifying in armor.
I folded my arms, glaring. "So you both… won't let me out?"
They both nodded.
𝘍𝘪𝘯𝘦. 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘣𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯, 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘣𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘰𝘰.
I took a dramatic, deep breath, then plopped onto the floor, cross-legged like I was claiming a throne.
"Fine. I'll sit here until your lord Kirill comes," I declared.
They exchanged nervous glances like I'd just threatened to summon a dragon. Fenric hovered awkwardly over me, hands flailing like he wanted to pick me up but didn't dare.
"My lady, do not sit so. We are obliged," he said, his voice trembling.
Kael nodded furiously. "Don't… stubbornness!"
I smirked, leaning back on my hands. "Nope. It's either you win… or I win. And right now? I'm winning."
Fenric pressed both hands to his head like it was going to explode. "This is no contest, my lady. We are charged with your protection."
Kael shook his head like a tiny pink peach tornado. "Yes… yes!"
"Lady, you do not understand."
"Explain then," I said, folding my arms.
Fenric pressed, hands fluttering like he was about to faint. "My lady, you should not sit upon the floor. We were informed of your condition. If you were to fall again, I would be held accountable."
I frowned. "Why would you be punished? I'm not a porcelain doll."
Kael sighed dramatically, hands on his hips. "Lady… you must not be not-well. Otherwise… lord Kirill gets temper on us." He pointed at Fenric and himself like it explained everything. "Understood?"
I rolled my eyes. "I have to go see my father. I need to tell him something."
Fenric shook his head so violently I thought his armor might pop. "No."
"Then I'll stay on the floor and wait for you to be punished."
Fenric's shoulders slumped like a defeated knight. "My lady, no. I shall be punished regardless."
"Choice is yours," I smirked.
Kael plopped down in front of me on threshold of room, knees to chest, hands clasped under his chin like a philosopher. "I… have a mind… inside voice…"
"Huh?" I leaned closer. "You mean… thought?"
He nodded solemnly. "Yes."
But before he could continue his grand proclamation, Fenric hit him square on the head. "WHY ARE YOU SEATED? YOU ARE A KNIGHT. DO NOT FORGET YOUR DUTY!"
Kael rubbed his head, pouting. "But… sir… at least lady is not going out. She sits here… not go out."
I lifted my face up toward Febric who looked seconds away from combusting.
He had a point.
"See? Little tribal man has more sense than you," I chuckled.
Fenric's glare turned Kael into a trembling puppy. "Apology… accepted… by Sir Fenric."
I couldn't stop laughing. Kael's "tribal" language was too ridiculous.
Finally, Fenric seemed to accept defeat and went silent, still glaring at both of them like he was ready to combust. Kael, on the other hand, looked like he had won the lottery.
"So… where are you from?" I asked, leaning back, curiosity piqued.
Kael practically bounced on his knees. "Ah! I come from the border forests side of Valkathra! My tribe is there. Big trees, wild rivers… very many flowers!" His eyes sparkled.
I raised an eyebrow. "And you wanted to become a knight?"
"Yes! Yes! Very much! I want protect lady… and kingdom! My language… little broken… noble people speak very difficult…" He shrugged proudly.
I smirked. "You're cute, but yes… your language is… entertaining."
He grinned. "Ah! Lady thinks me funny? I like!"
Kael launched into stories about his life, waving his hands around like a bard: his sister, his parents, his favorite flowers, how he liked to suck nectar from the blooms in the morning dew… I couldn't help but giggle.
"Wait, wait—nectar?" I choked out, laughing. "You mean like… actual flower nectar?"
He nodded seriously. "Yes! Very tasty. Very sweet. Make energy… make morning happy."
I buried my face in my hands, trying to stop giggling. "You're ridiculous."
Kael grinned. "I proud of ridiculous! Is good?"
"Yes," I admitted, still laughing. He was actually an entertainment and very adorable like a small dog.
Then I turned to Fenric. "And what about you? Where do you come from?"
Fenric straightened, jaw tight. "I hail from the central lands of Valkathra. My family serves the crown. I have been trained in the arts of combat and strategy since childhood."
I blinked at him. "Wow… so serious… boring."
Fenric's lips twitched in irritation. I rolled my eyes. "You're not cute or fun like Kael."
Kael snorted, clearly amused at Fenric's stiff demeanor. Fenric's glare sharpened, but Kael just winked at me, and I couldn't help but laugh all over again.
For the first time that morning, the tension from last night faded a little, and the two knights' ridiculous contrast kept me entertained… and maybe just a little less terrified.
Fenric let out a long sigh and, after a moment of hesitation, lowered himself to sit on the floor beside Kael. He was too big to sit like that as he looked very funny. His movements were stiff, but less intimidating now that he had left the standing guard posture.
"Perhaps it is only right that I speak more of myself," he said. "My family has served the crown for generations. Combat, strategy, duty… such has been my life."
He glanced at me briefly, then continued.
"I was recently wed, though… it was not wholly by my choosing. It was arranged, as is the custom of my house. At first, I regarded it as a burden... an obligation…"
He paused, as though weighing his next words. His face softened.
"But I have come to cherish my wife. We are… learning one another, little by little."
I tilted my head, listening. His words sounded almost vulnerable. It was strange to hear that from such a intimidating man. "So… you genuinely like her?" I asked, curiosity softening my tone.
"Yes," Fenric admitted. "I had not expected it. Yet she is patient and kind. And though our beginning was bound by duty, I find myself wishing to protect her, as I would any under my charge."
Kael's jaw dropped slightly. "Sir Fenric… you sound… soft!"
"I am not soft," Fenric said, casting Kael a sharp glance, though the faintest trace of a smile touched his lips. "I am… practical. Yet care is not weakness. One must learn to protect not only through strength, but through understanding."
I blinked at him, genuinely impressed. There was… depth here, a side of him far beyond the rigid knight I assumed him to be earlier.
Kael, on the other hand, looked thrilled, bouncing slightly on his heels. "Ah! Lady sees! Sir Fenric can be human too! He has feelings!"
Fenric shot Kael a look sharp enough to cut steel, and Kael quickly backed down with a sheepish grin. I bit my lip, holding back a laugh.
I crossed my arms around my knees. These two weren't that bad—
"Eri!"
The voice shattered the fragile calm like glass. I froze mid-breath, my body stiffening instantly, every nerve on fire. My heart raced, and my eyes widened in pure fear.