Ivan
"That's none of your business."
I'm confused and angry, an unwelcome combination.
Nefretiri digs her fingernails into her palms, her chin high, using defensiveness like a shield against the truth. My reaction is the opposite: finding openings, breaking walls, and claiming territory. This is going to be messy.
At least neither of us is yelling.
"That's where you're wrong."
I take that back.
Several tables around us turn in our direction, forcing me to push back the anger and my wolf.
He wants to take over, needing to make her see that her pain is ours. Nefretiri doesn't understand what a real-world werewolf goes through when the bond awakens, but he doesn't care. In his mind, she'll want to learn everything once she sees us.
It's a sweet dream, but not realistic.
"What happens to you is my business." This time, I'm calmer and taking several deep breaths.
"No, it isn't," she held up her hand, showing me the ugliest ring I've ever seen. It was a poor design; the gold was dull, and the diamonds were cheap. I hate jewelry, but I've learned a lot about it. This wasn't worth more than a hundred dollars, and the man who bought it put no thought into it. "Like I told you, I'm married and spoken for."
"You think a cheap piece of gold and some rejected diamonds mean anything to me?" They might've if she were showing me the thing because she cared. It's obvious she doesn't. Nefretiri hates the ring more than I do. "You don't want to defend him. So, cut the crap and talk to me."
"Why?"
"You're mine, that's why."
"Bullshit," she scoffed, turning away to glare at the other table. "I want to go."
"No, you don't…"
They called our order before I finished arguing, forcing me to get up.
"I got you a hot dog, too. Hope that's okay," Setting her food in front of her, I sat down, praying that eating will make talking again easier.
"I'm not hungry," she lied, and it was my turn to call her out.
"That's not what your stomach's screaming."
Instead of trying to argue, I grabbed a fry, letting it brush against her lips. Some might say that's inappropriate, but I'm glad she's fighting. It soothes my wolf.
He enjoys feeding her and feeling like he's providing for our mate. My Alpha instincts don't work like others.
All wolves experience the urge to provide for their own. However, an Alpha's biology makes them more attuned to providing for multiple wolves. It's worse with our mates.
At first, she refuses, pursing her lips, but it only lasts a second as the hunger takes over. I almost lost a finger for it, too.
That's all it took. The fry was gone, and she picked up her burger as if nothing else mattered. It was heartbreaking and funny, so I wasn't sure if I should laugh or growl.
I opted to eat, since I doubted she'd appreciate either.
We ate in silence, the tension gone, replaced by food. It gave me a preview of what our lives might be like someday: sitting across from each other and eating a meal, just without the trauma. I liked the idea of that.
The possibility of happiness and peace isn't something I allowed myself to imagine, but I want it, even if I don't deserve it.
"Want some pizza?" I'm impressed. Nefretiri ate everything as quickly as I did. It's rare to see a human keep up with a werewolf. "Half and half?"
"Yeah…" she hesitated, but the hunger was still there. So, she didn't fight as hard, grabbing two slices and devouring them before I could grab one.
She looked better, which was a relief.
'Are you sure you don't want to tell Aunt Sierra?' Vince asked. 'Nothing on her so far. Not under North or Jordans. Not even a birth certificate.'
'Keep looking, and no. Mom will freak out if we tell her now.'
'She's better at dealing with things like this… Plus, are you prepared to deal with how angry she'll be?'
'This isn't a rogue who needs a maternal presence to spill their guts, Vince. This is my mate, and Nefretiri would make my mother cry.'
'You're going to have a fun time with this one…' he teased, but I only smirked. Until he finished speaking. 'Are you going to tell her?'
'About what?' It was stupid to play dumb, but this wasn't the time to discuss this.
'Ivan… come on.'
'I will, but I need to convince her not to run first…'
'Good luck with that… You've got your work cut out for you.'
That was underestimating it.
"I've eaten," Nefretiri slammed her empty cup down, pulling me back to the moment. "Can I leave?"
"Want some dessert?" Yeah, I was stalling, but why wouldn't I? "They have cookies… and some chocolate pie. I might grab a slice of that."
"Get whatever you want," she snapped, getting up. "I need to go. Thanks for the food."
I was about to grab her, but didn't need to. She tried to move but sat back down, her face etched in pain.
Without thinking, I switched seats, placing my hand under her shirt and rubbing the spot she was holding. It's not as good as licking the area, but it can ease the pain. That's all I'm after, but the bond reaches for me, causing my hands to shake.
Everyone reacts to the bond differently.
I've heard people say it's like a pleasant vibration or jolts of electricity. My parents told me it was just a connection they had when they were near each other, but no one in my life ever described it like mine. Her aura coiled around my arm, slipping under my skin and releasing all the muscle tension.
She's pulling the constant pain I live with away as if she's a painkiller, only better because there are no side effects, leaving a comfortable warmth. Her energy lights up my dominant aura. I want to face the impossible, confident that I can come out unharmed on the other side.
What did my touch do to her? Did I make the world less miserable for her?
"Don't touch me," she whispered, but was leaning into me, sighing in relief.
"I'm trying to help." I don't want it to hurt, but it does. My emotions are on overdrive, and months of feelings are crashing down on me in a single day. I want to hold her, touch her, show her affection, but I can't without looking like a creep, and her rejection is like thousands of knives stabbing me. "I want to take care of you."
"Why?" she hissed, dropping her voice. "Why are you focusing on me? There are plenty of single women you could pick up."
"I don't want them. I want you. You're mine."
"Why?! Because you're a werewolf?!" she whispered, getting in my face like an accusation. I froze, unprepared for that. "Yes, I know!"
Well, fuck, I did not appreciate my words turned on me like that.
"How did you-"
The sound of Penelope crying cut me off.
Her screams were so loud that everyone turned to stare at my pack's table, my tiny pup flailing her arms and turning purple. The sound hurt my sensitive hearing, but I didn't hesitate to get up and hurry over to them.
Taylor was trying to soothe her, but nothing she did worked. Danny was busy trying to fill a bottle with formula, but my wolf growled, agitated because he's not convinced that will work.
'Don't question it.' My wolf urged me to pay attention to the unspoken instincts, listening to what my pup needed more than anything. 'She's not just screaming. She knows what she wants.'
Penelope wanted Nefretiri.
"Hey!" Taylor complained as I plucked my pup from her. "We've got it."
"Shut up, brat," I huffed, turning and returning to my table. "Hey, it's okay, Princess. Mommy's right here. Yeah… Hey, can you put in a good word for me? Mommy doesn't trust me, and we need to make her see we're supposed to be a family. Can you help Daddy out?"
Penelope didn't stop crying but opened her eyes, staring at me as if she understood.
I couldn't get over how easy it was to switch into this new role. This morning, the idea of having a pup terrified me because of the mess I'd made of my life. Now? I couldn't imagine not being a father.
I've worked so hard to change my life, shedding the miserable lifestyle that took me down into darkness, but I'd done it because I'd hit rock bottom. Now, I want to be someone this pup can be proud of when she thinks of her dad.
'I'll kill anyone who hurts you.' I promise, glaring at the kid who almost bumped into me.
"Hey, Pen-Pen…" Nefretiri grabbed our pup from me, her voice nothing like it'd been. There was no sign of anger, fear, or pain, all for our daughter's sake. "You're hungry, aren't you? It's past dinner, isn't it? Hey, there's a blanket in the stroller's bottom, bring it to me."
She aimed the last part at me, and the way she spoke, you would've thought I was her husband and this was a regular outing. I didn't have a problem being her delivery boy, especially if she kept talking to me like that instead of as if we're about to have an MMA fight.
This is what a bond is supposed to be. Working together to have a life and family, to be together, and in our case, raise our pack.
Fuck, if only it were this easy.
Maybe I should call my mom… or my grandmothers. They have more life experience than I do.
But I need to be the one who does this.
"What are you doing?" I demand, horrified, when I return with the blanket to find Nefretiri with her hand in her shirt. I'd brought the bottle, assuming she'd give her the formula once I filled it with water.
"Unclasping my bra," that should destroy my sister's ego. She just lost her top rank as the most sarcastic bitch in the world. That title now belonged to my mate. "How do you expect me to feed her?"
"With this…" I held out the bottle, scowling at her, then at everyone else around us. Luckily, no one was watching.
"Men," she scoffed, snatching the blanket before covering herself and the baby. "I'm not giving her a bottle of cold formula."
"We can warm it up!" I sound like an idiot about this, but a surge of jealousy hit me. Too many people are here, and I don't want them staring at my mate feed my pup. "I'll get Taylor to go buy one of those bottle warmers."
'I already got one!' Tay complains in my head, already digging through all the bags for it. 'What do you take me for?'
She ignored me, focusing on Penelope, and I'm powerless against her. No one could deny she's my Luna. She was the only person with the innate ability to defy me and leave me looking like a starved stray on the street.
That's the energy she had, something she was born with. Destiny claimed this woman as Luna of the Sebryanyy Kinzhal, a pack with ancient roots and the same silent influence.
"No, I don't think so," one guy behind the counter looked in her direction, giving her a look. He looked like he was going to say something about feeding the baby in public, which irritated me more than if he'd been leering at her.
Yes, I'm a hypocrite.
"Hey!" Nefretiri gasped, clutching Penelope, who whined as I picked them up and sat in her chair. The chair blocked everyone's view unless someone was going to the bathroom. "Put me down!"
"Nope," now I don't care what anyone sees. She's in my lap, and it calms my protective drive and doesn't make me want to destroy everything around me. "Now you're safe, and no one will bother Penelope from eating."
"You're crazy," she accused, but still leaned into me.
"Am I?" Without thinking about it, I slid my hands under her shirt, running my fingers along her sides, feeling her tense, then relax. "Then I think we're both crazy, because you're enjoying it."
"How are you doing that?" She whispered, her head lolling to the side, exposing her neck.
"Don't do that." My hands shook as I held her still, my eyes fixed on her neck. My fangs pierced my lower lip, the drive of my wolf warring against common sense. "You must not know much about my kind... Or you wouldn't be tempting me like this."
"What do you mean?" She quickly lifted her head, staring at me. We were so close, I could've tilted my head and our lips would've touched. Damn, she was torturing me.
"Nefretiri? Do you know what a mate is?" If she knew what a werewolf is, then she might, and I got the answer from her reaction. "I'm taking that as a yes."
"No," shaking her head, she tried to move away, but it wasn't easy with the baby nursing. "No, I can't be..."
"You are," I gripped her tighter, my stress rising. Now I regret not taking my anxiety meds. "You're my mate."
"I can't be your mate," she turned away, her body shaking, and I heard the fear. Not the mask she'd used earlier, but the real thing, and it killed me.
"Why not?" I sounded more vulnerable than I ever had, and that was saying something since I'd been at my lowest for the last two years. "Does it... disgust you?"
I'm proud of what I am, but that doesn't mean everyone else thinks being a werewolf is something to celebrate. What if she doesn't want me because of it? What if she knows about my kind because we've done something to her?
I don't control all the werewolves in the world. I can't control what they do. That doesn't stop me from losing my mate because of something out of my hands.
"No..." The harsh scowl on her face was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, unclenching something in my chest. She looks as if I called her a racist, which wasn't what I was trying to say, but I welcome it anyway. "I just... I'm married. I belong to someone else."
She said, 'belong' with the disgust I'd feared. Then, she showed me her ring again, and I couldn't stop Chagan from growling. The metal cut into her skin, which looked even cheaper up close.
I could go out tomorrow and buy her something for the same price. Not that I would. She deserved something meant only for her, and I already knew what it was.
However, that'll have to wait till we get home.
"Rocks and metal don't make you his, Nefretiri." Cupping her hand, I settled it back on our child, refusing to look at the thing again. "Do you love him?"
"No."
I didn't realize I wasn't breathing until she said that, and I relaxed a little. The certainty was a relief, but it brought up more questions.
Why stay if she didn't love him? What was he doing to keep her?
Then, the most challenging question. How do I convince her to stay with me and that I can protect her from anything she's afraid of?
"Then come with me," I'm pushing it, but I kissed her shoulder, desperate to show her more affection. She deserved it, and even though she was distant, I felt she wanted me to give her that tenderness. "We're meant to be together. You sense it, don't you?"
"I don't know you."
"True, but that can change with time... I'm not asking you to do anything you don't want. All I want is a chance..."
"You don't get it," I watched her bite her lip, wincing in pain.
"What's wrong?"
"She latched on wrong..."
"Take it easy; it'll be okay." I meant it as a soothing gesture, but she laughed at me. "You just have to relax."
"Have you ever had a vacuum stuck to your nipple?" I loved her laugh. How did I get her to do it more?
"No," the mood lightened, and I rested my head on her shoulder, nuzzling her cheek. "I can't say I have."
"Then don't tell me to relax."
We fell into a comfortable silence, the world moving on around us.
"Let me go... You can't keep me," Nefretiri waited until she'd finished, cradling Penelope, who's now content and staring at us. "I have to go."
"I can't," I closed my eyes, pushing Chagan back. Her fear built back up. "I'm sorry, but I won't let you go, especially if you're in danger."
"You'll regret it." I might consider that a threat, but she's trying convincing me she's not worth the risk.
I didn't answer, looking up and nodding at my sister.
"Hey, sweet pea..." Taylor came over, smiling at her niece with her arms out. "Did you have a yummy dinner? Are you ready to go? Uncle Steven will set up your bed, and we can ride in his car. Yeah, won't that be fun?"
"No," Nefretiri held Penelope closer, leaning back into my chest.
"Nefretiri... We won't hurt you." I assured, rubbing her sides again. "You can trust Taylor. She's family."
"I don't know you... any of you." She seemed more hesitant now, fighting with herself over what she understood and the truth. "You can't ask me to do this."
"Look at me," I ordered, ignoring the warning expression Taylor gave me.
She did, our noses touching, the air thicker but not suffocating.
"Do you think I'd hurt you? Tell me you're sure I'd ever do anything to you or this pup."
She said nothing, but I'm not worried. She's confused, which is understandable, but she's not afraid of me.
So, I'm not as shocked as Taylor when Nefretiri handed Penelope over, never looking away. It was more than I could've hoped for and my signal to move things along. We still had a lot of things to discuss, but not here.
"Let's go," I whispered, standing with her in my arms, walking by the pack's table as Taylor took care of the baby. "We're leaving. Now."