Nefretiri
The truth is smothering.
I've lived with the knowledge of what Ricky is for years, unable to tell anyone. Not that anyone would believe me. He's good at hiding that aspect of his life.
No one meets my husband and suspects that he makes his money from death, but he does.
That's why I've stayed.
"An assassin," Ivan repeated.
It's so much worse than he imagines, and once he finds out, he'll leave.
"Yes," I expected more questions, but Ivan stayed silent.
Somehow, that's worse.
'Did you expect him to believe you?' the voices in my head mocked, laughing at me like always, waiting for my weakest moments. 'You've sat on this for so long, and the first person you told is the werewolf? You'll have to show him... all of it... Or he'll call you a liar and leave you to rot.'
"If you need proof, I have it…" It would've been safer if he'd left, but I wanted him to trust me. I didn't want to hold on to this secret anymore. "I'm not lying."
"Nefra, I believe you," he looked surprised that I'd say that, as if the thought had never crossed his mind. "I'm just thinking... When you say he's an assassin, what do you mean?"
"He kills people..." the sarcasm came out before I bit my tongue, sharp and cynical. "For money."
"No... Is he a government-contracted assassin? Is he part of the private sector? Or is he a freelancer? Knowing that will tell me a lot, including what he knows about combat and whether I need to worry about the government coming after us. I'd need to make a few calls if that's what's going on."
It took me a minute to process what he's saying.
'He's taking it seriously.' I hadn't expected this side of him.
I didn't have a name for this.
A leader, or a warrior? I don't know, but he's giving off a different vibe. It's dangerous, wrapping itself like a net, but keeping me safe inside it, and that bothers me.
'Stockholm syndrome already? Aren't you pathetic?'
Nothing had changed. Ivan was still kidnapping me, and I'm allowing it, sacrificing my chance to get away from him when the cops showed up and now telling him about Ricky's secret. I'd be yelling at myself on the screen if this were a documentary.
Sadly, I can't seem to stop myself.
'What if… the bond's real?'
'He's a wolf, not even human.'
'Would that be so bad? He's done so much for you, and it's only been a day.'
'He's trying to get between your legs. Why else would he do it? Once he's had you, he'll get bored, and he'll throw you away like trash. At least here, you have a title, and you're not homeless. Remember, you have nothing. A high school dropout with no skills worth mentioning. Huh, no wonder you let yourself get kidnapped. Not a single brain cell in that pretty little head.'
'That's Ricky talking, not you. This isn't the only thing you ever did. You had a life before. You used to be someone worth loving, someone special. Just because Ricky said you're not doesn't make it true. Ivan sees it. He knows you're more than a broken little housewife.'
'Oh yes. The whore of the Alpha wolf. His mistress.'
'His Luna.'
'How is that any different from this?'
The title of Luna means nothing to me. My understanding of the paranormal world is limited to witches and magic. It has to be important, though.
What does a Luna do? Wouldn't I just be what I am now, except with a wolf?
Let's say I agreed to go with him; I had nothing to offer.
I'm a high school dropout from New York with no family, and the only things I have on my resume are cooking, cleaning, and knowing how to do a decent makeup tutorial.
'Once he finds out how worthless you are, he'll keep you as a breeder, popping out puppies like a good little bitch...'
"Nefra?" I snapped my head up, so lost in my thoughts I didn't hear Ivan speaking. "Baby? How did you find out?"
"I..." How did I explain this? It's a weird story, even for me. "We've moved around a lot. This is the longest we've been somewhere. We lived in Texas with his family and then moved to Houston. I went to the store, and when I came back, I caught him talking on the phone, but in Japanese."
That wasn't that strange, but it got stranger.
"I didn't know he spoke any other languages." I kept the fact that I somehow understood the language without ever learning it to myself. "He didn't realize I'd come in, so I listened in. At first, I assumed I'd caught him talking to a woman. Now I wish that's what it was."
"Did he say he's an assassin on the phone?"
"No. Whoever he spoke to wanted him to do a job. I thought nothing of it. Ricky takes jobs at hospitals all the time, but when they started talking about amounts and bank accounts… it made less sense."
"Did they talk about anything else? Locations, routines, deadlines?" Ivan had experience with this. Did I have more to worry about?
"Yeah, they talked about a deadline, but he told the guy he needed to go and hung up. I pretended I'd just come in and… I never confronted him."
"What did he do?"
"He smiled... told me he was talking to a hospital that wanted him to fly out for a few days... He left the next day and didn't come back for three weeks..."
"Did he leave his mistresses with you?"
"No, he didn't leave them with me back then." Not until the second time I ran away. "I... the apartment was small, but he had this trailer at his parents' house. I went there one day and saw what he was hiding. That's when I ran away. I didn't want to be there anymore."
"But he found you?" Cupping my cheek, Ivan started making circles. It's a comforting gesture, but one he needed just as much as I did.
"I didn't go far enough... I got a job in Arizona, but he found me. That's when... he started hurting me. I tried to run again, but he always found me, and then we'd move to a different place and start over. Every time... he'd take something away. Sometimes he comes home and his clothes have blood on them. He lies and tells me they were from the hospitals, but I know they wouldn't let him bring them home contaminated... But I was so scared... He has... trophies, and I didn't want to die, so I cleaned the clothes and stopped trying to figure anything out... I never told anyone... I didn't want anyone to get hurt because of me..."
"Hey," Ivan pulled me close, his forehead pressed to mine so I couldn't look away. "You did the right thing. You protected yourself. That doesn't make you guilty. Nefra... You're a prisoner, and he's the only one to blame..."
"I should've told someone..." I lived with that, but why I said nothing was more dangerous, especially for Ivan. "But no one would've believed me..."
"You said you have proof?" I nodded, dreading this possibility. "Where is it? Does he still have the trailer?"
"No... He... got rid of it when we moved from Texas..." My throat felt like I was swallowing marbles, and my chest hurt, but not because of my ribs. Whatever magic werewolves had eased so much of the pain. My leg didn't throb, and my cracked ribs didn't make breathing hard. Now, it was just panic. "It's... in the basement now. I'm not... allowed to go down there."
"Just show me how to get there, and I'll go by myself," his thumb swept across my cheek, wiping away the tears. He was so gentle and caring, never blaming me without knowing the truth.
What if I didn't show him and begged him to leave? The hell under us would stay a secret, and I could pretend for a little longer. But what happened when Ricky came for me? He would come. He always did. Ivan would be unprepared, and my shame would cost more lives.
"I... have to come with you." Slowly, I got up, grabbed the bag, and led Ivan through the house to the den.
The door was something you'd miss unless you're looking for it, assuming it's a storage closet or another bathroom, but sometimes innocent things hide lethal ones. The only warning, the 'keep out' sign I'd written myself to stop any of Ricky's friends from going down there, but I wonder if I did it to remember why I don't run.
Either way, it's the only obstacle.
Ricky's so sure he had me under control that he didn't bother putting a lock or security to keep me out, and he's right. I've only been down there once until now.
"You don't have to..." Ivan grabbed my hand as I reached for the door, his shirt clinging to his body. I enjoyed wearing it; the worn material felt soft against my skin, and his scent was all I smelled.
"There are... keys you have to grab, and... it's a weird lock."
That was true, but I could've explained how to get to them.
Honestly, I needed to go, not as exposure therapy, but because once Ivan saw the truth, I wanted to prepare for the worst. It would drive me crazy waiting up here just to have him storm up to me and tell me I was just as much a monster as Ricky.
It was better to face it.
'He'll do worse than insult you. He'll take your baby.'
'Maybe... that's what needs to happen.'
"It looks... normal, but... it's not." When you turned on the lights, all you saw was a home office with some spare rooms, but that's what Ricky loved to be—a regular guy with hidden beasts within.
Ivan said nothing, watching as I looked through Ricky's desk. He always assumed he was clever with his locks. This one was a puzzle that didn't actually have to be solved.
All you needed to do was move a piece to the left, and it opened up. Maybe that's why he convinced himself he didn't need to put a lock on the door.
All he had to do was lie to me and keep his secrets secure behind them.
"I... know nothing about guns..." I started slow, unlocking the largest gun safe. That shouldn't be a big deal. Lots of people own guns... but not like these. "I... don't think most of these are legal."
"They're not..." Ivan scanned the racks, picking a few up and confirming my suspicions. He's comfortable with a rifle. "All the serial numbers are gone... Some of these are custom... Wait, what's this one?"
The handgun would never pass for a regular gun. The runes alone made it unique.
"Is this... magical script?"
"Yeah..." Whether or not I liked it, it was time to face my fate. "Ricky... doesn't just kill humans."
Before I lost my nerve and regretted it, I opened the cabinet behind Ricky's desk, carefully pulling it open. Last time, they nearly cut me.
I stepped aside, letting Ivan see the evidence that would condemn me. As a werewolf, he'd tell the difference between human and paranormal blood.
These were the blades he kept reminding himself of his kills. The proof, written in elegant handwriting on each tag, as it needed recording.
"Nefra..." Ivan started, but I hurried away, unable to look him in the eyes.
"He... has this too," my fingers trembled as I unlocked the closet, pulling out several vials and pouches. "These are for vampires... this is for dragons... it... weakens their scales, wolfbane for... werewolves... and..."
My voice failed me on the last one, but the name in black ink stood out.
"This blocks magic." Ivan examined the sample bottles, then glanced at the closet, where there were cases and even more for every kind of supernatural imaginable. "You're a sorceress... How doesn't he know?"
"Luck... I never told him, and he never saw me use magic..." Our only blessing was that Penelope didn't have a random spurt of magic like she did with me. "I've kept it a secret."
Ivan wanted to say something, but I needed to finish showing him this before I stop breathing.
"He... this is what he does." Unlocking the two rooms, I let Ivan see what monster I'd married.
Ricky did this for fun.
It wasn't about the money or some misguided sense of righteousness. Every life he took, every trophy he came back with, was a sign of the evil inside.
Vampire fangs, dragon scales, things in jars, and even toys from the children he'd killed filled the shelves in organized rows, labeled and displayed like a sick collection. This was his pride and joy, and I'd lived with it.
Ivan stood at the door of the larger room, his face pale as he saw the prizes of Ricky's collection.
It wasn't the dragon skull or the treasure he must've taken from his victims that affected him. It's the werewolf pelts and fangs displayed on the walls—hundreds of them, outweighing all the others.
Ricky specialized in werewolves, killing them with an expertise few understood.
This wasn't even the worst of it.
There's the Alpha room, with the empty mount already prepared with the label, 'the Alpha King' in gold leaf.
"That's why you didn't want me to be your mate..." Understanding clicked, and I nodded, still refusing to look up.
"Yes..." This was it. He was going to tell me I was an evil woman who deserved all the violence I got. "Ivan... before you say anything... Penelope. She's innocent. I have no right to ask anything from you, but she doesn't deserve... Please, I'm not asking you to take her in, but make sure she-"
I never got the time to finish my thoughts.
Ivan rushed me and pinned me against the wall, his hand around my throat.
Was I about to die?
He looked so angry, and I didn't blame him. Was I asking too much? Yes, but there isn't anything I wouldn't do for my daughter.
'Who'll protect her if you're dead?'
'You don't want to live?'
I wanted to live, but to do that, I needed to fight.