In a quiet alley in Axel, the atmosphere hovered on the edge of something extremely delicate and dangerous.
Chris was giving Kazuma a serious explanation of the magic flow behind the [Steal] skill.
As an experienced Thief, she clearly wanted Kazuma to use it the right way, such as snatching an enemy's weapon in battle or recovering ill-gotten wealth like some kind of righteous rogue.
"Listen carefully, Kazuma. The key to [Steal] is the combination of intent and luck. You have to lock onto your target in your mind, then release your magic at that exact instant. Come on, use me for practice first. I'll lower my guard."
Chris spread her arms generously. She looked a little exasperated, but the way she was looking after a junior really did suit a goddess.
Unfortunately, Kazuma was very clearly nowhere near the right path right now.
He rubbed his hands together while waggling his brows at Kōichi. That depraved grin of his practically had the word scum written across it.
"Heh heh heh... Kōichi, did you see that? This is the Thief's divine technique! Once I master this move, high-grade materials, arrogant nobles' wallets, all of it will be mine for the taking! Wahahaha! I can already feel myself one step away from becoming a filthy rich man in this fantasy world!"
Seeing Kazuma's smug little-villain face, Kōichi couldn't help snorting. He folded his arms, leaned against the wall, and pointed at him with his staff, which Darkness-san was currently carrying.
"Enough talk, Kazuma. Chris is only going easy on you because you're friends. If you've really got skill, try it on me. I won't be as gentle as Chris. I'll resist with everything I've got. If you can't even steal from me, then you might as well give up and go haul human waste for a living."
"Oh? Kōichi, you asked for this!" Kazuma's eyes instantly sharpened, even taking on a hint of vengeful delight. "Don't think being a Wizard means I can't do anything to you. Watch me pull out the most valuable thing on you, like that coin you just got!"
Off to the side, Darkness-san's breathing had already grown unusually heavy.
She clutched Kōichi's staff so tightly that her knuckles had gone white. Her cheeks were flushed red, and her gaze darted wildly between the two men.
"Ah... companions robbing and bullying each other like this... how vulgar, how wonderful! Kōichi-sama, please don't resist. Let him steal your treasure right in front of everyone! That humiliation of being stripped of what's yours... ngh, I want to experience it too!"
"Be quiet, Darkness-san," Kōichi said flatly, then crooked a finger at Kazuma. "Come on, depraved Kazuma. Show us that luck of yours."
"Hey! Stop fooling around, you two. Skill training is a serious matter..."
Chris tried to stop them, but she was already too late.
Kazuma suddenly stepped forward, his right hand clawing through the air as he let out an absurdly loud roar.
"Take this! The strike I'm staking my dignity on. [Steal]!!"
A flash of white light sparked at Kazuma's fingertips.
Kōichi felt something around his midsection suddenly grow a little lighter as a wave of magic forcibly pierced through his defenses.
"It worked! Wahahaha! I got it!"
Kazuma leaped up in excitement, holding his right hand high as if he'd seized the whole world.
But when the light faded and he saw what he was holding, his smile froze.
Chris's face turned to sheer horror, Darkness-san stopped breathing, and Kōichi... felt a sudden draft around his waistband.
What Kazuma was holding wasn't the shiny coin, and it wasn't Kōichi's wallet either. It was a pair of pure white, still body-warm men's boxer briefs.
"...Huh?"
Kazuma looked down at the substantial piece of fabric in his hand, then at Kōichi, whose whole body had gone rigid in an instant.
"...Kazuma."
Kōichi's face darkened. With the inner support of his pants gone, he had no choice but to grab his waistband and hold it up. His voice was cold enough to freeze the whole street.
"I knew you were a pervert, but I didn't think you'd go after a man's underwear too. Looks like last night's dream still wasn't enough to bring you to your senses."
"N-no! It was an accident! That was an unavoidable force majeure!" Kazuma threw the underwear to the ground like it was a red-hot coal, then frantically wiped his hands on his clothes as he screamed in utter misery. "Why?! Didn't Chris say high luck means you steal good stuff?! Then why did I steal this bastard Kōichi's underwear?! My hands! My hands are filthy now!!"
"Ah... aaahhh!!!"
Darkness-san let out a scream so shrill it could pierce the clouds. Covering her face, she went limp against the wall like a noodle, while the eyes peeking through her fingers shone with ecstatic delight.
"In the middle of the street... having his underwear stolen by a companion... this ultimate humiliation... Kōichi-sama, please, you absolutely must use that move on me too! You absolutely must!!"
"I knew this was how it would turn out..." Chris pressed a hand to her forehead, radiating the kind of exhaustion that said the world might as well end. "Kazuma, your luck really is high, but your intent clearly veered off in some bizarre direction at that exact moment. And you, Kōichi, why would you even agree to something this ridiculous?!"
Holding up his pants, Kōichi silently walked over to Kazuma and flashed him an extraordinarily bright, and extraordinarily cruel, smile.
"Kazuma, since you like my underwear that much, then after we finish registering at the Adventurers Guild, you can wash it for me. By hand. No magic allowed. Otherwise, I'll print what just happened onto flyers and spread them all over town."
"Have mercy on me—!!!"
Kazuma's desperate wail echoed through the alley.
Out on the streets of Axel, the group cut a figure that was both conspicuous and deeply bizarre.
Leading the way was Kōichi, one hand holding up his waistband while somehow still walking with a strangely breezy swagger. Right behind him came Kazuma, head hanging low, carrying that sturdy white piece of fabric in his hand like his soul had already left his body. Bringing up the rear was Darkness, the Crusader, clutching the staff to her chest, face flushed red, staring at the backs of the two men ahead of her with something close to reverence.
"Hey, Kōichi, slow down a little... and could you stop walking around with that look on your face like you just discovered a new continent? You seriously look like a pervert."
Kazuma grumbled weakly. The underwear in his hand felt as heavy as a thousand pounds right now. It was practically the greatest stain on his entire reincarnated life.
Kōichi glanced back, feeling that unprecedented cool breeze against his lower half with absolutely nothing blocking it, and couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from lifting.
"You just don't get it, Kazuma. This feeling of completely throwing off all restraint and becoming one with nature is practically a higher state of enlightenment. I swear my agility's gone up by more than a little, and even my magic feels like it's flowing more smoothly. Is this what they mean by emptiness is form, form is emptiness?"
"Enlightenment my ass! This is just your inner pervert awakening!"
Kazuma hissed back in frustration, then nervously glanced around and noticed passersby already pointing and whispering.
"Ah... discussing indecent things in broad daylight, without the slightest attempt to hide such shameful secrets... ngh! This party truly is the place I was meant to end up!"
From the side, Darkness let out a sticky little moan. She was so worked up that she was squeezing the poor staff hard enough to make the wood creak.
When they pushed open the Adventurers Guild's heavy doors, a wave of heat mixed with the smell of ale and sweat rushed over them.
The noisy guild hall fell into a bizarre silence for three whole seconds the moment the three of them stepped inside.
"Yo! Kōichi! Kazuma! You're finally here!"
At the bar, Aqua was slumped there without a shred of dignity, still clutching the half-empty bottle of Dew of Longing.
Two suspicious red patches colored her beautiful face. The moment she saw them, she staggered to her feet and waved.
"Look, look! This stuff is seriously amazing! Sure, Kōichi, puking on my feet earlier was incredibly rude, but for the sake of this bottle, this goddess will generously forgive you! Wahahaha!"
Beside her, Megumin, with her eyepatch and black cloak, was staring intently at the quest board. Hearing the commotion, she turned, let her gaze linger on Darkness for a moment, then nodded with a knowing, enlightened expression.
"Oh? So while I was spending the morning researching ultimate Explosion Magic, the rest of you went and recruited another strange one. That wavelength of corruption and desire... a Crusader, is it? She looks durable enough. She should be able to withstand the aftershocks."
"Megumin, forget the wavelengths," Kazuma said with a dead look in his eyes as he walked over and slapped the underwear onto the table. "Just find us a job that pays well already. I need hard labor to scrub the filth off my soul."
"Huh? What's this? Kōichi's new handkerchief?"
Aqua, thoroughly tipsy, reached out to grab the underwear.
"Don't touch it! That's my underwear!" Kōichi snatched it back with lightning speed and stuffed it into his clothes in one smooth motion. "Anyway, now that everyone's here, let's go over it. Aqua is our Arch Priest, Megumin is our Arch Wizard, Kazuma is our Thief, Darkness is our new Crusader, and I'm the Wizard. Looking at the lineup alone, this party is absurdly overpowered."
"True enough." Kazuma rubbed his still-aching cheek, his eyes gradually sharpening into something far more suspicious as he stared at the red requests pinned at the top of the board. "Now that we've got a tank, we can finally consider jobs we wouldn't have dared take before. Luna-san! Got any quests with huge rewards, tons of monsters, and maybe some valuable drops we can pick up on the side?"
Behind the counter, Luna-san put on her professional smile, pulled one request from the stack, and spoke with slight hesitation.
"Now that you have a Crusader, there is one urgent quest you might be able to try. It's an exorcism request for an abandoned mansion on the outskirts of town. The number of Ghosts there is astonishing. Several parties have already fled after suffering mental breakdowns... but the reward is a full 300,000 Eris."
"300,000?!"
Aqua and Kazuma's eyes turned into money symbols at the exact same time.
"Ghosts? Mental breakdowns?" Darkness began trembling all over again. She clutched at the collar of her armor, her voice brimming with anticipation. "A place like that... where countless ghosts wrap themselves around you, drain away your energy, maybe even possess your body and force you to perform all sorts of shameful acts? Please! Please let us take this quest!!"
Kōichi looked at this group of teammates, each one full of ulterior motives, or rather, their own brand of perversion, felt that free breeze around his lower half once more, and swept his hand out grandly.
"All right! Our destination is the abandoned mansion! Today, we're going to show those Ghosts what real terror looks like!"