At the entrance to the dark, damp sewer, the air was thick with a foul stench so layered and overpowering it was enough to make an ordinary adventurer retire on the spot.
Kōichi led the way with his staff in hand. His lower half felt chilly, but in a place like this, that extra ventilation actually kept him from being knocked out cold by the overwhelming smell.
"Waaahhh! A place like this! How could a place like this possibly be somewhere the great Aqua-sama should ever come to?! My clothes! My skin! They're all going to be violated by this cheap, disgusting stink!"
Aqua pinched her nose, tears welling at the corners of her eyes, practically curling herself into a ball.
"Shut up, stupid Goddess! If you can't take it, then do something about it already!" Kazuma barked through the scarf tightly wrapped over his mouth and nose, his voice coming out muffled. "Aren't you the Goddess of Water? Deal with this mess!"
"Oh right! I'm Aqua-sama! This level of filth is nothing. Watch me purify it all in an instant!" As if she had just grabbed hold of a lifeline, Aqua suddenly straightened up, dazzling blue divine light bursting from her body.
She threw both hands into the air, and sacred magic rippled outward. "Sacred Highness Purification! Make yourself beautiful, Axel's sewer!!"
Bzzzt—!
In that instant, the thick, pitch-black sewage was washed by divine power and turned crystal clear. It even gave off a faint fragrance like expensive perfume.
Then everything went wrong.
The sludge, excrement, and various unidentifiable impurities piled up throughout the sewer underwent a bizarre physical expansion the moment they were purified. Or rather, Aqua had simply overdone it. She had not only purified the sewage, she had also pulled a huge amount of moisture from the air to dilute it into that pristine state.
Waaash—!!
The water, which had only been ankle-deep, surged upward in less than three seconds. First past their knees, then their waists, and finally into a clear but violent torrent that roared down the narrow sewer tunnel!
"Gah! Aqua, you idiot! What the hell did you do?!"
Kazuma did not even get to finish yelling before a huge wave slammed him straight into the wall.
"Help! Gulp gulp... the water's too clear! I can't see the way! Gulp..."
Even Aqua herself was getting tossed around helplessly. The water was so pure that her light, fluttering Goddess robes created massive drag, like a parachute pulling her deeper into the tunnel.
Kōichi grabbed the Megumin being swept away with one hand while digging the other into a crack in the stone wall.
"Don't move! There are no impurities in this water, so the buoyancy is lower! Grab the wall, everyone!"
"Ugh... haa... this... being mercilessly washed away in pure Holy Water, maybe even drowning in the Goddess's blessing because I can't breathe... haa... is this what they call divine baptism?!"
Not only did Darkness not struggle, she spread her arms and welcomed the torrent. The current smashed her against the wall over and over, and a dangerous ecstasy spread across her face.
"Harder! Let this Holy Water wash away my sins completely!!"
"Somebody save me... I don't want to die in a place this clean..."
Kazuma spun through the water like a top. In the end, he only barely avoided being swept into the deeper cesspool sections by clinging desperately to Darkness's thigh.
After a full five minutes of "sacred drifting," the torrent finally began to calm as the sewer system split and redirected the flow.
The five of them collapsed like drowned rats onto a relatively spacious underground platform.
Thanks to Aqua's purification, the place now looked like the indoor pool of a five-star hotel. The air was so fresh it almost felt unnatural.
Kōichi glanced down at himself. His outer pants were soaked through and plastered to his legs. With no underwear underneath to hold anything in place, certain outlines showed through the wet fabric with painful clarity.
"Aqua..." Kōichi wiped the Holy Water from his face, his voice calm in a way that was somehow terrifying. "If you cast another spell recklessly like that, I'm going to stick you in a crocodile's mouth as a landmark."
"Waaahhh! Kōichi is terrifying! Kazuma, look at him! That part of him looks really weird right now! Is he threatening me with that?!"
Aqua hid behind Kazuma, pointing at Kōichi's lower half, clearly outlined beneath the soaked fabric, as she shrieked.
"You're still worried about his lower half?! Look around you!"
Kazuma weakly pointed ahead.
Beneath the crystal-clear water, countless pairs of golden eyes were staring coldly at them.
Because Aqua had purified the water too thoroughly, the Golden Sewer Crocodiles that had originally been lurking in the sludge were now fully exposed, as clear as exhibits in an aquarium.
The one leading them was as big as a small truck. It opened its massive maw full of jagged teeth and let out a low growl at the uninvited intruders.
In the transparent Holy Water, the Golden Sewer Crocodiles' millstone-sized pupils gleamed greedily as they slowly swished their powerful tails and closed in from every direction.
Water slid across their scales with a scraping sound that made everyone's skin crawl.
"Waaaahhh! They're coming! They're swimming over here! Kazuma, save me! Kōichi, save me! Aqua-sama doesn't want to become crocodile poop!"
Aqua clung to Kazuma's back like a terrified octopus, and the force of it nearly drove him straight to his knees in the water.
"Get off me! You idiot Goddess, use a skill already! Use your divine power and scare them off!"
Kazuma struggled frantically while staring in despair at the huge, widening jaws drawing closer.
At this critical moment, with everyone else effectively out of their minds, Kōichi suddenly wiped the Holy Water from his face, his eyes showing an unprecedented calm.
He swept his gaze around, then fixed it on Darkness, who was bracing herself against the wall, her face flushed an unnatural red.
After being battered by the flood, Darkness's Crusader armor had come slightly loose. Her shirt, soaked through with Holy Water, clung tightly to her full, muscular body. Her long golden hair hung wet over her shoulders, and together with her ragged breathing and dazed eyes, she gave off a striking, sensual beauty.
Naturally, from the crocodiles' point of view, that beauty translated into one big, delicious premium steak.
"Everybody calm down! Follow my lead!" Kōichi shouted, shocking the chaotic scene into silence. "Darkness! This is the moment to show the pride of a Crusader! See that biggest crocodile? It's looking for a target!"
Darkness's body trembled, and she snapped her head up, a flash of ecstasy in her eyes.
"Wh-what?! Kōichi, are you saying... you want me to face those slime-covered monsters all by myself, with bits of rotten flesh still stuck between their teeth? You want this body of mine, washed by Holy Water, to be rubbed by their cold scales, maybe even dragged into some dark corner and brutally... ngh!"
"Exactly! That's it!" Kōichi shouted, following her train of thought, even if it was going completely the wrong way. "The way you look right now, soaking wet, is basically irresistible bait to them! Go! Jump into the middle of the water and block their path with your body! Strike as many vulnerable poses as you can and draw every crocodile's attention onto yourself!"
"That's too cruel... Kōichi, you really are a devil... making a delicate woman, self-proclaimed, serve as bait like this... ha... ha... I'm going!"
Darkness let out an excited shriek, actually threw aside her greatsword, spread her arms, and hurled herself straight into the densest cluster of crocodiles like a fearless moth diving into flame.
Splash!
Darkness kicked up an enormous spray, her alluring figure flickering in and out of sight in the clear Holy Water.
"Come on, you hideous monsters! Use those powerful jaws of yours and tear apart this armor soaked in Holy Water! Even if you hit me with a death roll, I will never yield. Uwoooohhh!!"
The crocodiles had clearly never seen a buffet deliver itself right to them. The lead Golden Crocodile froze for a second, then let out a savage roar and charged at Darkness with the rest of the pack right behind it.
"Hey! Kōichi! That command was way too twisted!" Kazuma could not help yelling as Darkness was instantly swallowed up by the crocodile swarm, strange cries ringing out from inside it. "Yeah, she looks thrilled, but are we seriously not going to save her? She's going to get torn to pieces, isn't she?!"
"Relax. Her defense is way beyond normal." Kōichi calmly raised his staff, blue arcs of electricity already crackling at his fingertips. "Now! Aqua, give my lightning magic a Divine attribute boost! Megumin, you can't use Explosion right now, but find some high ground and help me spot the crocodiles' weak points! We're taking them out in one sweep!"
"O-okay! Leave it to me! Divine Protection!"
Even though Aqua was still trembling, she obediently placed a hand on Kōichi's shoulder.
Feeling the magic surging through his body, Kōichi watched Darkness in the middle of the crocodile swarm, getting bitten from every direction while shouting deranged things like "This is amazing!", and felt absolute confidence rising in his chest.
The tone of this battle might have gone a little off the rails, but as long as they got that forty million, this level of sacrifice, meaning Darkness's sanity, was completely worth it.