Chapter 36
"…"
This was never a punishment.
It was one-sided abuse, an inhuman torment that left nothing untouched.
Body. Mind. Soul.
None of it was spared.
He should have resented her. He should even have hated her…
But he didn't.
Kanzaki Tomomu placed all the blame on himself. Using the cruelest method possible, he stripped those memories away and sealed them at the bottom of an unreachable sea of consciousness.
That way, he could once again become the student his teacher liked best, the one who pleased her the most.
Ruan Mei couldn't help but wonder: had Kanzaki Tomomu lived out the rest of his life like this, only remembering everything at the very last moment?
Or… had he gone to his death without ever recalling that part of the past…?
An emotion she had never felt before surged violently from the depths of her heart, slamming against her chest.
It hurt.
Yet perhaps it was only a fraction of what Kanzaki Tomomu had endured.
Another feeling she couldn't quite name kept rising, driving the same desperate impulse over and over.
She wanted to go back. Back to several Amber Eras ago.
She wanted to stop the youth from sealing his memories.
She wanted to stop herself from inflicting that punishment.
But she couldn't.
She could not turn back time, return to the past, or change the cause and effect that had already become set in stone.
"Kanzaki Tomomu… do you hate me…"
Ruan Mei whispered, her voice breaking as an indescribable look flashed through her eyes.
She needed to know. The urge was so strong it nearly stole her reason.
She hoped that before he left this world, Kanzaki Tomomu had remembered everything and felt even the slightest trace of hatred toward her.
That would have made it easier for her to bear.
Clinging to that thought, Ruan Mei pushed deeper into the memories of the past.
"Here, use this one from now on."
"Thank you, Teacher!"
The youth hugged the stringed instrument she had given him, unable to hide his joy.
"And this white coat. I had it made a little large; it doesn't suit me. Take it."
She never told him she had ordered it specifically for her student.
…
"Teacher, watch out!"
An experiment went wrong. A high-risk substance triggered a chain reaction and exploded.
At the critical moment, her student, now taller than she was, stepped in front of her and took the full force of the blast.
His upper body was torn open, chest drenched in blood, organs visible, half his face burned down to the bone.
…
"Kanzaki Tomomu, why haven't you made that soybean cake lately?"
"That soybean cake?"
The young man scratched his head, brows furrowed as he thought hard, then quietly pushed down the doubt in his heart.
"I'm not sure which one you mean, Teacher. Plain Memo, Peach Seal, or Chill Moon?"
"…Never mind if you can't remember." Ruan Mei said lightly.
It was only a matter of taste, after all.
The flavor of that cake had left a deep impression, but it wasn't indispensable.
…
"Drink this, Kanzaki Tomomu."
"Yes."
Kanzaki Tomomu had no idea what the medicine in his teacher's hand did, but he drank it without hesitation.
He trusted that his teacher would never harm him.
Ruan Mei never explained that the medicine suppressed his sensory-loss aftereffects.
As long as his body had not yet entered the final stage of old age and decay, it would never lose its effect.
…
"Teacher, the mutated gene sample you requested has been successfully cultivated."
"Well done. Place it in the designated culture dish. You may move on to the next project."
"Understood."
…
"You haven't slept in a week, Teacher. Go rest. I'll take care of the observation period."
"Very well. The notes are on the memo pad."
"I guarantee there will be no mistakes."
…
"Happy birthday, Teacher. I've prepared dinner. Please set your research aside for now and eat first."
"There's no need."
"I made plum blossom brew."
"Oh? Where did the plums come from? The environment has been too harsh in recent years for plum trees to survive."
"I grew and harvested them on another world in my spare time. This jar is only two-year aged, not the best vintage, but it's still quite good."
"You went to the trouble. Then I'll indulge you this once."
…
Countless memory fragments replayed before her eyes. Ruan Mei gradually lost herself in them.
Over decades of unchanging days, there had been accidents, quiet moments, and small surprises.
Everywhere in her life, Kanzaki Tomomu's shadow could be seen.
Viewing the past from a third-person perspective, she suddenly realized she had long grown used to having him there.
Until that day…
"Those data… seem to be related to your parents, Teacher…?"
"What about it?"
"…Nothing."
…
"Why did you delete that data without permission?"
It was the most important thing to her, the obsession that drove her forward.
Although all the data was already imprinted in her mind and deleting it made no difference, she still felt no real anger.
But he had broken the rules.
She wanted to know what reason her student could possibly have to overstep again after so many decades.
The young man frowned deeply, his voice grave.
"Teacher, this is a taboo study that desecrates life… and even more so, your own parents!"
"Even if you ultimately succeed, it would be all too easy to lose yourself and forfeit many things!"
"Some Pandora's boxes… must never be opened."
"Is that your reason?" she asked.
"Teacher, I…"
Kanzaki Tomomu stopped mid-sentence. After a long pause, he let out a quiet sigh.
"Yes."
"Starting tomorrow, you have graduated," she said without warning.
Even though Kanzaki Tomomu had already prepared himself for punishment, the words still stunned him.
"You're driving me away? Teacher… you can punish me however you like, but please don't send me away. Anything but that…"
"This is not a punishment."
Ruan Mei turned away calmly and left her final words.
"I have already taught you everything you are capable of learning. Staying here would only be a waste of your time. It serves no purpose."
"Teacher—!"
The youth caught the edge of her sleeve, eyes pleading desperately.
"I will say it once more: you have graduated. Leave. Until my research is complete, I will not see you again."
Ruan Mei pulled her sleeve free and added one last sentence.
"If I have not contacted you after a hundred years, then forget me. I owe you nothing, and you owe me nothing."
Kanzaki Tomomu stood there stunned for a long time, then finally lowered his head and bowed.
"…Understood, Teacher…"
In her student's memory, she remained frozen in that final moment.
When Kanzaki Tomomu left that day, she had watched without a word.
Now, she followed his departing figure until it disappeared.
From that back, Ruan Mei read a deep sense of loss and desolation.
Kanzaki Tomomu left alone and returned to the planet where he had once been treated for his illness. He built a simple bamboo house in the mountains, not far from her old home.
"In those last one hundred and eleven years… did you live well…?"
Kanzaki Tomomu's life had been quiet, with few ups and downs.
He planted an entire mountain of plum trees. With endless blossoms to harvest, he could brew perfect plum blossom wine. That became the most important task of each year.
He regularly cleaned the house that had long been covered in dust yet always looked brand new. He regularly trimmed the mountain path that led straight to the front door.
He sent the plum blossom brew every year without ever including a single letter, right up until he passed away in silence, leaving only the doll behind to continue the routine.
The rest of his time was spent inside the bamboo house. He never went anywhere else.
His friend Yu Qingtu would visit occasionally and enjoy his warm hospitality.
Aside from that, the only other people in his life were the occasional patients who came seeking treatment.
A hundred years passed like this.
Until—
A purple-haired girl named Clarisse appeared.