"Dude, did she just call you a pervert?"
Jenna was already laughing when I walked in, sprawled across the couch like she'd been waiting for this exact moment. "What the hell did I miss?"
I dropped beside her and set the pizza box down. The TV behind her was still paused on a three-way scene.
"God, Jenna, can you turn that off while we eat? I keep looking down at my pizza, and all I can see is that poor woman's asshole."
She glanced back at the screen, took a second to process it, then leaned forward and grabbed the remote, shutting it off with a loud sigh. "Fine, Adrian… if you ask me, though, pizza goes down with a good movie playing."
"A $3.99 porno flick is what you call… a good movie?" I asked, leaning forward to grab another slice while making faces at Jenna. "Next time, let me pick the movie."
We stayed up late that night, chatting about what we wanted out of the future and our dreams. I sat and wondered why it took some crazy system to make today happen. On the outside, it was like I was a new person, bursting with charisma and charm.
On the inside, however, I was absolutely losing my shit. Thoughts began to spiral as I lay in bed, hoping rest would come quickly. A text from my boss blinked across my phone screen, casting light onto my face and pulling my attention to it.
|| Abigail ||
Adrian, please show up tomorrow at 10 a.m. Laura has come down with the flu, and her shift needs to be covered. Do a good job… and we may talk about a promotion.
"Shit… it's already 1 a.m. If I don't get any sleep, tomorrow…" I looked at my phone screen again. "Today's going to suck." I let out a loud huff, rolling over and pulling my blanket tight against my body.
***
"Fuck me… JENNA!" I rummaged through my room, looking for my work hat. "Damnit, Jenna, I had it on last night. Where did you put it?"
Continuing to dig with my hand, I found what I thought might be it, pulling it out from under the bed, only to find it was a hat that read, "That's my ass bro, stop," with a large-mouth bass behind the text.
"Where the hell did that come from?" I said as several laughs broke free while I reread the hat.
Deciding the attention the hat would bring would be easier to handle than being late, I put the gag hat on my head and ran out the door.
"Okay, new town, and I still haven't memorized where the parking alley is," I said, scanning the area for something familiar to point me in the right direction. "Yes! That way." Recognizing the hospital sign down the road, I knew my car was nearby.
The movie theater wasn't far from my house. Once I made it inside, my work buddy, Pam, drifted over to meet me, her usual grin and sickeningly sweet attitude in full force.
Pam was my first friend in this town. She introduced herself at work by showing a PowerPoint presentation that was supposed to be on how the theater worked, but she had added so many slides asking us to be nice to her it felt like a pity party.
"Morning, Pam," I said, my voice sluggish and heavy. "Sorry about…" A yawn forced its way out of me like a ghost being banished. "Jesus, if I could quit yawning… good morning, Pam."
"Morning, Adrian." A cute laugh escaped as she glanced up at my hat. "Adrian… that hat is, uh…" Struggling to find the word, she began to laugh loud and hard. "What the fuck, Adrian… you can't really think it's okay to wear that. Hahaha…"
"I'm gonna try… it comes off if someone complains, no sooner," I said, walking over to the counter. "I'll start the popcorn if you want to check the candy stock. Sound good?"
She agreed. We moved in almost symphonic patterns. As the popcorn kernels began to produce the salty snack, Pam stacked boxes of N&N's and Rizzlers. It wasn't long before we were ready to flip the open sign and begin the day.
In front of my face, the system's panel flashed as I unlocked the front doors.
[ Activate Forced Proximity Event ]
[ YES ] [ NO ]
Multiple thoughts blasted through my mind. What would this power do in this situation? Not able to find a good use for it, I clicked No, and the screen evaporated shortly after.
The afternoon crowd came almost daily for the cheap matinee that played before the evening cycle. Within the first group stood the pizza girl.
Her face twisted as we made eye contact. She began fidgeting with her hair as she waited in line. The closer she got, the sharper her eyes became.
"Gimme a ticket to whatever your perverted butt recommends." Savannah glanced up, and a loud laugh erupted from her. "Dude… that's so fucking funny. Where did you get it?"
"Wild story, it just appeared in my room… haha." Committing to the bit, I grinned ear to ear. "You like it? Does it make me look cool?"
She giggled a few times in response as I rang her up. Our eyes met a few times before she moved on to the snack section and then disappeared down the long halls of the theater.
A smaller, chode-shaped panel appeared.
[ NEW TARGET ACQUIRED! ]
[ QUEST: BONE SAVANNAH ]
"Good lord…" Swiping through the screen to make it dissolve, I thought about how the system was pushing me to pursue these women. "This crazy system isn't going to stop any time soon, is it?" I asked the empty room, only for another phallic panel to open beside it.
[ COUNTDOWN: 47 Hours 59 Minutes 33 Seconds ]
"For real… I have a time limit on sex?" Reading further, I scoffed. "You've got to be kidding me…"
[ REWARD: WAND OF WISDOM ]
[ PUNISHMENT: CHARISMA AND CHARM WILL BE SEVERELY REDUCED FOR 48 HOURS ]
"How am I going to pull this off?"