My body met the hard earth with a heavy thud. The last thing in my memory was the meeting with the perverted god. Standing, I found myself surrounded by woods, and where I had landed looked to be a crossroads. In one direction, I could clearly see what looked like an old-school castle, decorated with flags and banners all over.
In the other direction, it looked like the forest went on for miles. Deciding the most rational action was to find more people, I started walking. The walk took no longer than fifteen minutes, and guards rushed out to welcome me in.
"Halt! This is the Kingdom of Wishes. Any who wish to pass must pass verification." One of the guards promptly walked up to me, looking my clothes over, his face becoming more puzzled the longer he looked. "Where the hell are you from, stranger? I've never seen clothes quite like that."
Thinking for a second, a dick window appeared. On it, instructions were written, each giving the answer to the questions the man would ask to gain access to the city. Each one held one of the keys to the castle, and after answering each question with ease, the guard begrudgingly let me through.
Once I was inside, the absolute absurdity hit me. Laughter broke free as I took this new fantasy world in for the first time, taking a deep breath after I realized the air here was clean, free of the contaminants my former world was drowning in. The city seemed to be built around a central castle, and the very infrastructure astounded me.
"What do I do now, then?" I asked openly, expecting some form of crazy phallic menu to pop up. After waiting a few seconds and nothing happened, I continued my walk. "You gave me written instructions to get in, but noooo… no help with something actually important like food and lodging…" Hoping maybe mockery would produce result, again nothing happened in response.
I stopped mid-step as my body went rigid, my last thought causing panic to rise in me. "Wait… how the fuck can I survive if I have no money?" I cried into my hands as I hunched over in defeat. A soft ding played in my head as a heavy bag fell onto my head, scattering gold pieces at my feet as it fell.
As I picked up the coins with haste, a wilder penis panel appeared.
[ There you whiny bitch! ]
[ Signed, The God of Pleasure ]
"Dude… fuck you, first off, I didn't ask for all that attitude," I said quietly, still picking up a few leftover gold coins. "Second, who the hell calls themself the God of Pleasure? More like God of Being a Fucking Creep." As soon as the words left my mouth, the bag and gold coins vanished.
"Come on! I'm only joking. If you heard that, answer my other question, dick!" The bag of coins fell on my head a second time, this time with the force of a thrown item. "Thank you!" I said as I put the small fortune away.
Looking over the area I had walked to, it looked like a shopping district. People were flooding in and out, checking through the wares as they went. On the far side looked to be a pub, and beside it, maybe an inn.
Working my way through the crowd, I decided to start at the inn. I knew that, if anything, somewhere to eat and sleep was at the top of my priorities right now. As I neared the tall building, a woman walked out to greet me.
"Hello, welcome to the Lusthollow Inn. Are you looking for cheap lodging today? You look a bit lost, if you don't mind me saying so." The girl gave me a look that read as intrigued, mixed with caution. Waiting on my reply, she began fidgeting, grabbing her ponytail and curling it around her fingers.
"Uhhuhh… yes, I would like to rent a room for a few days," I said, realizing I had been lost in her incredibly beautiful face. "Can you possibly help? I'm unfamiliar with this city… I've traveled from… uhhh, well, a place you probably haven't ever heard of," I said, cutting myself off before I had said too much.
Perking up at my answer, she pointed behind her. "This is the best spot in town… especially if you are new. The people inside can answer any of your questions."
Turning around and guiding me inside, we quickly arrived at the counter just inside. "Well… good luck, then… and if I see you around, maybe I'll say hi." She then walked off, headed back outside to help the next person.
I turned to find another beauty in front of me. She was working on something behind the counter. Her back was to me, leaving anyone with eyes to see the show she was putting on. Twisting at something with her hands caused her entire body to follow that momentum. Her giant ass drifted side to side, and occasionally it let out a sharp clap.
"Excuse me… can I get a room for the week?" I said, trying to get the woman's attention. "Here, lemme try and get that for you… you seem to be struggling a bit." Thinking to cover all the main ticket items, I added, "Can you also maybe show me where to get some food as well?"
Her head lifted, and her body went rigid. Twisting in place, she met my eyes. The sight sent a pulse downstairs, her face alone enough to force a semi out of me. Mentally, I prayed to the pervert god. I figured it was worth a shot. Maybe he would agree with me.
A giant flashing neon cock wearing a wizard hat appeared in front of me, on it was my first real instructions since landing in the woods.
[ QUEST: GET LAID IN A NEW WORLD ]
[ REWARD: BASIC KNOWLEDGE ON LUSTHOLLOW AND SURROUNDING CITIES ]
[ COUNTDOWN 72 HOURS ]