A few weeks later
The sound of my alarm dragged me out of sleep earlier than I wanted, and for a few seconds I just laid there staring at my ceiling, trying to convince myself to get up.
University was seriously starting to feel like a punishment at this point.
I reached for my phone beside me, blinking at the brightness of the screen before checking the time. I already had messages waiting for me.
Jay.
A small smile appeared on my face almost immediately.
Good morning pretty girl.
Another text sat underneath it.
Please tell me you're awake because I refuse to believe I'm the only suffering person up this early.
I laughed softly under my breath before replying.
Unfortunately I'm awake.
His reply came almost instantly.
Tragic.
I shook my head smiling before finally forcing myself out of bed.
The weather outside looked dull through my curtains, the kind that made staying under blankets feel ten times more attractive than responsibilities. Still, I pushed myself toward the bathroom anyway.
By the time I finished getting ready, my room looked like a mini disaster from all the clothes I threw around trying to decide what to wear.
I finally settled on a fitted black top and oversized jeans with sneakers because I wanted to look good without looking like I tried too hard.
After fixing my braids a little and applying lip gloss, I grabbed my bag and left for school.
The campus was already busy by the time I arrived. People moved around everywhere carrying books, laughing loudly, complaining about assignments like university students shared one collective suffering.
I was walking toward class while texting Jay when I spotted Ella ahead of me.
I slowed down slightly.
For a second I just watched her.
She looked thinner.
Not dramatically, but enough for me to notice. The softness she usually carried around her seemed quieter now, like grief had settled into her skin permanently.
But she was here.
Actually here.
Her eyes lifted and landed on me almost immediately.
A small smile appeared on her face.
"Look who finally decided to come back to civilization," I said as I walked closer to her.
She rolled her eyes lightly. "Please don't start."
I laughed softly before pulling her into a quick hug.
She hugged me back properly this time, and something about that alone made my chest loosen a little.
"How are you feeling?" I asked gently as we started walking together.
Ella let out a small breath. "I don't even know anymore. Some days feel okay and then other days it randomly hits me again."
I nodded slowly because honestly, that made sense.
Grief didn't seem like the kind of thing that followed rules.
"I've missed so many classes," she muttered after a moment. "At this point I'm pretty sure some lecturers think I dropped out."
I glanced at her. "To be fair, you kind of disappeared."
She sighed dramatically. "I know. Everything just became too much at once."
There was a small silence between us before she looked at me properly again.
"Thank you though," she said quietly.
"For what?"
"For staying with me through everything."
My expression softened a little.
"You don't have to thank me for that."
"Still," she said. "Most people get uncomfortable around grief after a while. You didn't."
I didn't really know how to respond to that, so I just bumped my shoulder lightly against hers.
"Well, you're stuck with me unfortunately."
That finally made her laugh a little, and honestly hearing that sound again felt relieving in a way I didn't realize I needed.
We reached the building a few minutes later, and as we walked into class together, I noticed a few people staring at Ella before quickly looking away again.
She noticed too.
I could tell by the way her shoulders stiffened slightly.
People always looked at grief strangely, like they didn't know whether to offer comfort or avoid it completely.
I leaned slightly closer to her before sitting down beside her.
"Ignore them," I murmured.
She gave a small nod.
The lecture started a few minutes later, but if I was being honest, my attention barely lasted twenty minutes before my mind drifted somewhere else completely.
My phone buzzed quietly beside me under the desk.
Jay.
I tried ignoring it for at least five seconds before finally checking.
I miss you already.
I stared at the message and immediately smiled despite myself.
Ella noticed instantly.
Her brows lifted slightly. "That smile looks suspicious."
I tried keeping a straight face. "Mind your business."
She gasped dramatically. "Oh my God. You like him badly."
I felt my cheeks warm immediately. "Okay, In my defense, alot happened."
That only made her grin wider for the first time in weeks.
And honestly, seeing that expression on her face again made everything around us feel almost normal for a moment.
After class ended, Ella and I walked out together slowly with the rest of the students flooding the hallway around us.
The lecturer had exhausted me so badly that my brain genuinely felt overheated.
"I'm going home immediately," I complained dramatically while adjusting my bag on my shoulder. "If one more person says the word assignment to me today, I might actually lose my mind."
Ella laughed softly beside me.
I glanced at her. "Come with me."
She shook her head immediately. "I can't. I still have tutorials."
I groaned. "You're sick for willingly staying back in this school longer than necessary."
"Some of us are trying not to fail," she replied with fake seriousness.
I narrowed my eyes at her. "Insulting me after everything I've done for you is crazy."
That earned another laugh from her, and honestly hearing her laugh more these days felt good.
Not fully healed.
But better.
"I'll text you later," she said as we got closer to the pathway that separated us.
"Okay," I replied. "Don't stress yourself too much."
She nodded before walking off toward another building.
I stood there for a second watching her leave before finally turning and heading home too.
By the time I got back to my room, I felt completely drained.
I dropped my bag carelessly onto the chair and kicked my shoes off immediately before reaching for my phone.
That was when I noticed the missed call.
My expression dropped almost instantly.
Stephen.
Of course.
I stared at his name for a few seconds longer than necessary, already feeling irritation creeping back into my chest.
Like somehow seeing his name alone was enough to ruin the calm mood I managed to build over the past few weeks.
Before I could even decide what to do, my phone started ringing again.
Stephen calling…
I exhaled slowly before answering.
"Hello?"
"Thank God," he said quickly, like he thought I wouldn't pick up.
I closed my eyes briefly.
"I honestly don't know why you keep calling me," I said tiredly. "Seriously, Stephen, what exactly do you want from me?"
I had barely recovered from the class I just attended, and now this.
There was a small pause before he spoke again, quieter this time.
"I just want us to talk properly. Face to face."
I leaned against the wall slightly, already feeling mentally exhausted.
"We've talked before."
"No," he replied softly. "We really haven't."
Something about the way he said it made me frown slightly.
"I'm coming to your school," he continued. "We can talk there. Somewhere public. I just… I need you to hear me out properly."
I stayed quiet for a few seconds.
Part of me wanted to reject the idea immediately.
Another part of me knew he was right.
Avoiding him clearly wasn't making anything disappear.
If anything, it only kept him sitting in the back of my mind like unfinished business waiting for me to finally deal with it.
And honestly, if I really wanted to face my demons properly, then maybe facing him directly was the only way to do it.
By demons, I meant a lot of things.
But right now, mainly him.
I rubbed lightly at my forehead before answering.
"Fine."
His breathing shifted slightly like he wasn't expecting me to agree that easily.
"Okay," he said quietly. "Thank you."
"Don't make me regret it," I muttered before ending the call.
The second I dropped my phone onto the bed, I let out a long breath and dragged my hands over my face slowly.
I already felt stressed.
And the conversation hadn't even happened yet.
Almost immediately, my stomach growled loudly enough to interrupt my thoughts.
I blinked.
Right.
Food.
Because apparently even being emotionally overwhelmed still required energy.
I pushed myself away from the wall and headed toward the kitchen to make something quick to eat before my brain started emotionally collapsing on an empty stomach too.