The second I got inside my room, I dropped onto my bed with the biggest smile on my face.
I couldn't even help it.
My cheeks were hurting from smiling too much, but somehow I still kept replaying everything in my head anyway. The way he looked at me when I first walked outside .
The way he kept holding my hand like letting go never crossed his mind once. The way he smiled after the kiss like he was still lost in it.
My phone buzzed before I could even fully settle down.
Jay.
A smile instantly pulled at my lips again as I opened the message.
Did my baby get inside safely?
I laughed softly to myself before replying.
Yes, I did.
Not even ten seconds later, another message came in.
Good. I was already preparing to worry.
I shook my head smiling.
You're too caring
Only for you.
That made my chest feel warm all over again.
I dropped my phone on the bed for a second and stared at the ceiling, still smiling like an idiot. It felt embarrassing how happy one person was capable of making me in such a short amount of time.
But at the same time, it also felt nice.
Safe.
I sat up slowly and walked toward my mirror again, stopping in front of it like I needed to see if the version of me from tonight was actually real.
My edges were slightly messy now, my lips looked a little swollen from kissing him, and my eyes looked softer somehow. If I was white my cheeks would have been a bit reddish.
Happier.
I don't even remember the last time I looked at myself like that.
Not trying to criticize something.
Not trying to find flaws.
Just… looking.
I smiled a little to myself before taking off the jersey carefully and placing it neatly on my chair. For some reason I didn't want to throw it around carelessly like my other clothes.
Maybe because it reminded me of him already.
That thought made me blush again.
God.
I picked my phone back up and saw another text waiting for me.
You know I'm actually serious about never letting you wear regular outfits again.
I laughed immediately.
Relax stylist.
No seriously. You looked too good today.
I bit back another smile, shaking my head lightly.
"You're obsessed with me". I said in between smiles
Very badly.
My cheeks warmed instantly at how fast he replied.
And the annoying thing was that I liked it.
A lot.
I laid back down on my bed again, hugging one of my pillows loosely against myself while texting him. Somehow the conversation flowed so naturally that time didn't even feel real anymore.
We talked about random things at first. The games at the arcade. The claw machine he was still overly proud of. How competitive I apparently got during racing games.
Then somehow the conversation softened again without either of us trying too hard.
Today felt nice, he texted.
I stared at the message for a second before replying honestly.
It really did.
There was a pause after that.
Then another message appeared.
I like seeing you happy.
Something about that made my chest tighten softly.
Not painfully.
Just enough for me to feel it.
Because people usually liked things from me.
Attention, Effort, Versions of myself that made them feel good.
But him…
He liked seeing me happy.
That felt different.
I rolled onto my back slowly, staring up at the ceiling again while my phone rested against my chest.
The scary part was how easy this all felt.
Nothing between us ever felt forced.
Not the conversations.
Not the silence.
Not the way he touched me.
Not even the kiss.
Especially not the kiss.
The memory flashed through my head again and I immediately buried my face into my pillow with a quiet groan.
Why was I blushing this hard over one boy?
My phone buzzed again.
What are you thinking about right now?
I stared at the message suspiciously.
Why?
Because I feel like you're blushing.
I sat up immediately.
Okay that's actually creepy.
He replied almost instantly.
So I'm right?
I laughed softly despite myself.
Maybe.
Cute.
I threw my phone lightly onto the bed dramatically before grabbing it again almost immediately.
This was bad.
Actually bad.
Because I could already feel myself getting attached.
And attachment had never really ended well for me before.
That thought settled quietly in the back of my mind, dulling my smile just slightly.
I hated how fast happiness could suddenly start feeling dangerous.
It was almost like my brain didn't trust good things anymore.
Like somewhere inside me, I was already waiting for something to ruin it.
I sat quietly for a moment, my fingers resting against my phone screen while my thoughts drifted somewhere softer and heavier at the same time.
And then, like my mind purposely wanted to ruin the moment for me, Stephen appeared in my thoughts again.
My expression dropped immediately.
The warmth I felt earlier slowly faded as memories I didn't want came rushing back into my head again.
His voice.
His apology.
The way hearing from him again affected me more than I wanted it to.
I frowned slightly, pulling my knees closer to myself.
Because no matter how happy today made me feel, Stephen was still there somewhere in the background of my life like unfinished damage waiting for me to finally look at it properly.
And deep down, I already knew I was going to have to face him eventually.
Whether I wanted to or not.