The Minister of the Left fumbled his monocle in surprise when the Marine Commander suddenly collapsed as a puppet with his strings cut.
"Mister Cross," he said, turning to me. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but… You scare me."
"None taken, I think I just scared myself a bit," I replied, just as surprised. "I mean, this is only the third time that I've done that."
I realized—too late if the looks almost everyone was giving me were anything to go by—that saying it had happened before, and more than once, probably wasn't reassuring.
"So…" The merc broke the awkward silence with an even more awkward cough. "I'm just gonna…" He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder with a shaky smile. "Go and get my boys and, uh, tell everyone else that we should all, ah… find somewhere else to work? Far, far away from here and all your very pointy spears, yeah?"
I schooled my expression into a look of patient disdain as I pointed at the Marine. "Take him with you and tell his men what's going on, and maybe we won't hunt your asses down for the years of blood on your hands. Deal?"
"Right, right, I will definitely do that!" the merc nodded, tossing the Marine over his shoulder. "Well! Happy trails to ya!" And with that, he booked it but good.
I nodded in satisfaction, then gave a glance up at Gif, hiding in the folds of Sonia's hood. In full awareness that the entire world was watching, I swept my arm to my waist and gave the merman towering above me a proper bow.
"Your Highness, your presence honours us all," I declared in as formal and proper a tone as I could manage. "From the bottom of my heart, thank you for coming here."
To say that… pretty much everyone around me was left surprised would be an understatement, and I couldn't blame any of them.
-o-
"Hahaha! So, this is your answer, then? My oh my, you really are something special, you brats! Both of you! No… more like the whole lot of you, even the ones you roped into this! So youthful and determined… determined to make the rest of us oldtimers look like absolute fools!" Rayleigh thunked the back of his head against his cell's wall, chuckling. "Haaa, and all I wanted was to make those kiddos sweat a bit! So this is karma? I don't think I care for it! Hahaha!"
'Dark King' Rayleigh continued laughing, even as he sat chained and shackled in the depths of the Human Auction House. Normally, there'd be no reason for laughter in a place as hellish as that, but today was an exception. Once more, the retired pirate congratulated himself on having the foresight to smuggle in a baby snail with him when he decided to try and make the Straw Hats' arrival more 'interesting.'
He also resolved to thank Shanks for helping him circumvent Cross's localized transmission embargo when he'd figured out why his snail was being suspiciously quiet. After all, he'd have hated to miss even an instant of what he was seeing. Especially this!
"Ahhh… and to think, you actually do have a concept of respect in that hellish brain of yours!" Rayleigh whistled. "I wonder, if you'd had a chance to meet the old King, would you have bowed to him too?" He fell silent as he contemplated such a meeting… before throwing his head back and laughing even louder. "HAHAHA! Oh, who am I kidding?! You'd have something positively nefarious in mind, and he'd both know it and be looking forward to it! HAHAH—!"
"SHUT IT!" KLANG!
Rayleigh's jaw snapped shut, and his mouth twisted into a scowl, glaring at the one who'd slammed his cage's bars, even as he subtly shoved his snail further into his coat. "Hey, what gives? You told everyone to stop screaming and crying, and I'm doing neither."
Disco's already ugly grimace deepened into an even uglier scowl. "Yeah, well, I'm telling you to stop laughing now, too! Either you stay silent…"
Rayleigh couldn't help but crack a smirk and lean forward towards his 'captor.' "Or what, I'll get the lash?"
There was a brief pause, and then the star-spectacled man's face twisted into a smile all his own. "No," he sneered venomously. "Someone else will. And you'll watch."
That killed Rayleigh's smirk dead, and he scowled at the slave trader, barely keeping himself from tugging his collar free of the wall. "Try that, and I will do things to you that haven't been done to another human being in almost twenty years," he intoned, his voice dripping with a darkness that had left many a hardened pirate (as well as a certain red-nosed cabin boy) with nightmares 'til the end of their days.
So he was quite shocked when Disco merely threw his head back and laughed, chuckling and spinning his cane with nary a care in the world as he turned and walked away. "Promises, promises, Rexy, old dog. Promises… and nothing more."
The old man watched him go, all good humour drained from his face. Over the course of his stay, Rayleigh had become well acquainted with Disco's personality: a typical dirty coward, who only had power and confidence as long as whoever he was fighting couldn't fight back.
For the auction house's owner to be that aggressive and confident with all that the Straw Hats were pulling off, with all he had to know by now the Straw Hats had pulled off… something was wrong.
No, more than just wrong… in the deepest part of his gut, the Dark King could tell that something was very, very wrong.
-o-
"C-Cross…" Vivi stammered out, Robin staring at me in wide-eyed shock.
"Holy… is he really—?" Koala breathed, Sandersonia nodding in numb agreement.
But perhaps the most stunned was Fukaboshi, who was staring at me in naked surprise. "This…Jeremiah Cross, this is hardly necessary," he finally managed to get out.
"I-I must agree, Mister Jeremiah!" the Minister of the Left blustered, wringing his cane in shock. "One as distinguished as yourself need hardly humble yourself in such a manner, least of all for a matter as trivial as this!"
"And yet, I insist that it is," I, well, insisted, keeping my head lowered. "Your Highness, what you are doing here today… There just aren't words for it. What is happening here today, and what will happen here today, would not be possible if it weren't for your bravery and integrity. Our actions here today—your actions—will reshape the history of both our species. Today is a day that will live on in the memories of all sapient species on this planet for generations to come, and for that, I can't even begin to thank you enough."
And with that, I straightened up and gave Fukaboshi a watery smile as I placed my hand on his arm. "I… can't even begin to describe how proud Otohime would be of you, Fukaboshi."
That got twin jerks of shock from the Fishmen nobles, and even the soldiers within earshot recoiled at my comment, but just as quickly, Fukaboshi recovered and gave a tearful smile of his own. "I don't know how you can claim such familiarity, but I thank you nevertheless."
"Indeed, indeed!" The Minister's whiskers flapped a bit with how fast he nodded his head. "And dare I say, our dearly departed Queen would have been overjoyed to make your acquaintance as well!"
"PFHAHAHAHA!" Alright, I kinda regret making everyone reel in shock when I burst out laughing at that comment, but come on—! "Oh, hell no!" I wheezed, still giggling madly. "Oh, nono, no, Otohime would have utterly despised me with every fibre of her being!"
"What?! But that's utterly—!"
"Dude," I scoffed, wiping a tear from my eye. "In case you missed it, I'm a reckless firebrand who starts wars around the world with my words and who advocates harsh, violent resistance, and whose hands are soaked in blood, whether through skulls I've personally cracked or by proxy. If we'd ever met, Otohime would have slapped me so hard her wrist would have shattered, and I'd be in more pain than her because of it! Seriously, I respect her to hell and back, and we might have had the same goals, but our means are totally opposite, and you know she would never let me hear the end of it."
Everyone stared as that sank in.
Then something happened that I had never seen in the story: Prince Fukaboshi threw his head back and busted a stitch laughing.
"FUHOHOHOHOHO!"
"Y-Your Highness!" the Minister blustered helplessly.
"Oh, come off it, Minister, he has us there!" Fukaboshi chuckled, slapping a hand down on the old timer's back and nearly laying him out flat in the process. "We both know that Mother wouldn't have abided by his methods, and she'd have given us all hell for giving him the time of day, too, even as she hung onto his every word! If she were still alive, we'd all be stuck listening to the SBS in the basement for fear that she might find us!"
The Minister weighed his Prince's words before glancing aside with an uneasy cough. "I, ah, believe we have other matters to attend to, my prince…?"
"Quite right, quite right," I nodded in agreement, turning around and gesturing for everyone to follow me back towards the barricade. "I'd tell your soldiers to hold their positions, in case anybody gets it in their head to pull something… unwise. As for the rest of us, well…"
Soundbite answered for me by shooting a smirk at Fukaboshi. "Let's get this guy in front of a crowd!" he hooted.
"As the snail says, let's move!" And with that, I marched back to Grove 77, the rest of the party following along.
As we went, Vivi walked up and side-eyed me. "This is the second time in two weeks that you've shown another royal of my standing more respect than you've ever shown me," she muttered in annoyance.
"I haven't had to see them preening in front of a mirror in their underwear," I blithely answered.
"EXCUSE ME!?" Vivi hiss-snarled, staring at me in equal parts rage and embarrassed horror.
"You should really remember to lock the room door more often, Princess, it can get horribly drafty in there, you know," Robin hummed ever so casually as we both strode past our suddenly frozen crewmate. "Also, I don't recommend something that sheer and lacy for everyday wear."
…man, after so much seriousness, the sound of Vivi's tortured moan of embarrassment was like sweet, sweet music to my ears.
-o-
Kuroobi, Hachi, and Chew saw every moment of Cross's interaction with the authorities of their kingdom—Prince Fukaboshi himself, in the flesh, forging an alliance that was built to last for a very long time. All three of them were gaping openly, but while for Hachi it was from joy and awe, the other two had the same question on repeat in their minds:
"What is my life right now?"
-o-
You know, it never ceases to amaze me how potent the power of sound can be when applied appropriately. The latest example soon to come as Fukaboshi pushed off the ground to float atop a pile of crates remarkably similar to the one I'd used earlier.
All it took was Soundbite amplifying the sound of the Prince's trident knocking against the crates for the crowd's hushed but deafening muttering to cease.
Fukaboshi paused and took a moment to properly clear his throat before addressing the crowd properly. "Greetings, everyone," he declared, keeping his voice at a nice and even tone and pace. "I'd like to start by apologizing for bothering you all. I'm aware that you all have been through a horrendous amount of trauma and that your only desire at the moment is to rest. As such, I'll do my best to keep this brief: My name is Prince Fukaboshi, eldest son of King Neptune of the Ryugu Kingdom on Fishman Island. I stand before you now to declare that from this point forward, the seventy-seventh grove of Sabaody Archipelago is now an embassy for our kingdom…" He thumped his fist to his heart. "And as such, it will stand as a sanctuary for those who have been afflicted by the slave trade. Slavery has long been a scourge on both our peoples, so you can rest assured that we of the Ryugu Kingdom will spare no expense to see it combated, in whatever means we may. And in pursuit of that goal…"
Fukaboshi turned to the side and gestured behind him at the galleons that he'd arrived on and with. "These ships you see before you are crewed by the finest soldiers my kingdom has to offer, and are capable of making not only the trip to Fishman Island, but also to all four of the Blue Seas with ease! Soon, we will begin taking names and destinations, and from there we will guarantee you safe passage to the oceans you call your homes!" The prince paused and bowed his head sorrowfully. "Regrettably, it is simply not feasible for us to return you all home at once, so many of you will have to wait for subsequent ships to make the voyage… but no matter how long it takes, I give you my word that I, mine, and ours will make certain that every last one of you is returned home!
"Many of my kind are personally familiar with the devastation that slavery can bring upon a person and those who are left behind. Rest assured, we will provide all the resources you need to return to your lives as the best you can be, physically and mentally. I promise this with the hope that it will be the beginning of many positive relations between humans, fishfolk, and merfolk, as was the desire of my late mother, Queen Otohime. In her memory, and on my honour as a prince, I swear to you that we will not rest, and we will not falter! We will see to it that none who set foot on our soil need ever feel the sting of the whip or the chill of chains ever again! THIS!" He thrust his trident skyward. "I SWEAR!"
That was when the skies over Grove 77 erupted, a shower of leaves falling upon our heads as the cheers and applause of the free and the proud quite literally shook the heavens. Honestly, if it weren't for Soundbite's intervention, a few others and I might very well have ended up deaf. But maaan… to see so many people literally jumping with joy, clutching one another with and crying tears of relief… to see such a pure and honest expression of adulation and jubilation…
Yeah. Yeah, I think I'd gladly go deaf for that.
But Fukaboshi wasn't done quite yet, and he announced that by repeatedly thumping his trident against the crates. No real silence, but the roar went from deafening to 'present,' so that was enough. "Finally, I would like to address the ones responsible for bringing so many people to freedom. Those who were brave enough to take the first steps today! Even if your motives were not humanitarian, your actions were still without compare, and thus we would see you rewarded for them. Minister?"
The Minister of the Left carefully slithered his way up onto the crates next to his Prince, and withdrew a decorated briefcase from the folds of his robes. He then withdrew a small blue metal booklet from within, holding it up for all to see.
"As our show of thanks, all pirates present here today will be the first to receive these royal passports, known as the Broken Chain Passports, notarized by King Neptune himself," the Minister announced. "As you all know, the only way that ones such as yourselves may continue your voyage into the New World is to first pass through our island. And for the longest time, such voyages have been unregulated. The result is a perilous voyage through the depths of the Grand Line, from which many do not return, and, due to the lack of oversight of those who would come to our island, our waters are all too often frequented by criminals who would do us harm. The intention of these passports is to alleviate matters on both ends of the situation.
"This passport will allow us to keep track of those who would seek entry to our Kingdom, for the document will be a sign that you possess the favour of the Ryugu Royal Family! Holding it both guarantees and facilitates your passage to our kingdom on Fishman Island; presenting this passport at our embassy will authorize you to access an expert ship coater and the services of a personal guide to escort you to our kingdom by the safest available routes, free of charge. This will also make your stay on our island more comfortable. Room, board, and food of the highest quality will be available to you at a 70% discount. So long as they comply with the country's laws, this passport guarantees the holder and their crew VIP treatment for the duration of their stay.
"And how might one come to possess such a wondrous boon, you might wonder? Well, regrettably, that will involve a rather lengthy and exorbitantly expensive screening process to ensure your backgrounds are clear enough for us to allow you entry… But…" He grinned almost maliciously as he started to idly twirl one of his moustache's long whiskers. "Were a crew to present… evidence of their goodwill towards our Kingdom… a token such as, say… a set of broken chains… then I do believe something could be done to expedite the bureaucratic process, shall we say.
"And so, to all those present here today, who might still wish to earn themselves a few extra copies of the Passport, as well as those watching and listening beyond the horizon…" The Minister chuffed and tipped the brim of his hat down ever so slightly. "Well, now, legally it would be ill-advised for me to issue a truly pro-pirate statement on behalf of the Ryugu Kingdom… but as a merman, and a man with pride besides, I will say this…" The old man suddenly swept his cane out and pumped his fist in the air. "GO OUT THERE AND GIVE THEM THE WHAT-FOR, LADS!"
That proclamation initiated a whole new round of cheers, and while it was less deafening than when the whole Grove did it, our fellow buccaneers made up for it by sheer raucousness and liberal use of their firearms.
Man, it would have been awesome to just keep standing there before the crowds, next to the semi-aquatic heroes who'd helped turn my madcap plan into the madcap reality we were living in and just soaking up the praise!
"Hey, you guys, you gotta come check this out!" YOINK!
"GWAH!"/ "Woahwoahwoah, watch what you're pulling on!"
…but some things never truly change, and I'd never have it any other way. Of course, a certain merman prince might have a different opinion of being yanked off our high horses (high pile? Whatever) by an all-too-familiar rubbery arm, despite the Minister of the Left's protests as he attempted to slither after us.
"I don't suppose you could try and stop him!?" Fukaboshi shouted, completely failing to gain any purchase in the ground with his trident.
"Lemme check," I groused as I was dragged across the mossy ground by my boot. "Hey, Luffy, think you could let us go?"
"No way, no way, shishishi! Explaining or letting you guys walk would be too slow, this is faster!"
The best I could offer Fukaboshi was a shrug to tell him that I'd at least tried.
"Could you at least explain where you're taking us while you're dragging us, please?!" the prince demanded, really showing off his negotiation skills there.
"Something really, really cool!" Luffy unhelpfully answered. "See, I had this idea…"
That little proclamation had Fukaboshi and I exchanging looks.
"I feel like I should be screaming in terror," Fukaboshi bit out in a deceptively calm voice. "It's the oddest thing."
I tugged the brim of my cap down over my eyes. "It's Luffy thinking, I'm pretty sure that's your primal instincts warning you that this is all against the laws of the universe."
Sadly, nothing more was forthcoming from my captain. Not until he skidded to a halt right in front of one of the massive roots. Fukaboshi and I had no time to catch our breath. The gathered Supernovas demanded our attention, as did the lit torches they carried. Torches, they were carrying around a pit, and they were pouring what looked to be pitch into it.
"C'mon, c'mon!" Luffy eagerly cried, hopping up to his spot around the pit and grabbing up a torch of his own. Oh god, why? "They're almost done! You gotta take a look before they light it!"
"Alright, now I'm terrified," I muttered, working my way to my feet and trudging after my captain, Fukaboshi, a step—er, tail-length behind.
Reaching the edge, we looked in and gasped, eyes wide. There, in the pit and soaked in pitch, was a small mountain of chains and slave collars. My eyes darted from the chains to the torches, and suddenly everything made sense.
"You're burning them!" Fukaboshi breathed in, eyes wide with awe. "You're burning the chains!"
"Do-Do you guys realize the symbolism of this?!" I wheezed, running my fingers through my hair. "Burning the literal instruments of oppression!?"
"Do you take us for fools, Jeremiah Cross?" Hawkins drawled. "Because any fool could see the symbolism."
"Point of order, a fool did," Drake huffed, casting a sidelong glance at a snickering Luffy. "After all, he's the one who suggested this to begin with."
"Which is the strong point of this?" Nami added, staring wistfully into the flames of her torch. "If even Luffy can see the meaning of this, then everyone will. It'll be a physical symbol of everything we've done here, something that nobody will be able to ignore."
"Well, until it burns out, at least, but eh, it'll be pretty till then," Bonney shrugged in a 'what can you do' manner.
That snapped Fukaboshi out of his trance, and he chopped his arm down in denial. "That will not happen. I'll make arrangements to keep it burning eternally, see to it myself if I have to. But this… rest assured, I'll see to it that this site becomes a historical monument. I will not let it die."
That got looks of honest surprise from the Supernovas, and I do believe that, in that instant, a lot of respect was earned all at once. Once the moment passed, Bege reached inside himself and plucked out two more torches, holding them out to us. "Prince, if you'll do the honours," he grunted.
For a moment, the two of us reached for the flames, ready to accept them, but in the next moment, we exchanged a look. An understanding passed between us… and we lowered our arms.
"Nah," I drawled, crossing my arms behind my head. "Personally, I think we'll sit this one out if you don't mind."
"Indeed, indeed," Fukaboshi nodded in agreement. He raised his hand, the impending protest dying in the Supernovas' throats. "Cross had his moment of glory earlier when he orchestrated this masterpiece, and I had mine not five minutes ago. This… This gesture, this moment?" He swept his hand out over the pit, and the evil they were all prepared to burn. "This, I offer to you. To the Thirteen Supernovas, who brought about this earthshaking paradigm shift; for your part, and for all that you have done… this is yours, and yours alone."
There was a moment of stunned silence… and of course, it was broken by Luffy snickering and rubbing a finger under his nose. "Shishishi! Told you guys he was cool!"
"You never even met him before today, Monkey brains," Killer grumbled, even as he tossed a bundle of bills towards a too-smug Nami.
"Eh, I had a good feeling about it! Anyway!" Luffy started eagerly waving his torch around. "Let's do it!
Another round of nods, and the pirates raised their arms to—
"Whoa, wait, hold up!"
All eyes turned to me, catching Luffy's wrist, with various levels of annoyance on their faces. "What?" Kid snapped.
"This just occurred to me, but we're burning the collars," I hissed. Sweet lightning, how had they overlooked this? How had I overlooked this!?... right, adrenaline rush at the sheer beauty of it. "You do remember they've all got explosive charges in them, right?! And we're lighting them on fire."
That got everyone yanking their flames back nice and fast, except for Barto, who just scoffed and waved me off. "You seriously think that didn't occur to me, Cross?" the mohawked captain demanded. "They're bomb collars, those things use small charges to sever the spine, not TNT! So it'll be small rolling explosions rather than one big one, no big—eh?" He blinked at the blank, accusing stares he realized he was getting. "Whaaaat? I like explosions! But whatever, if you want to be really overly safe…"
A wave of his hand, and a shimmering barrier spread out over the pit, with a far smaller hole in the middle.
"There, ya pansy. Perfectly safe."
"Pansy?! That shrapnel could have shredded us into chunky salsa you—!"
"You're overreacting," Zoro replied, rolling his eyes. "That would've just torn us up a bit; Chopper could have patched us back together, no problem."
"SAY THAT AGAIN YOU BLITHERING TROGLO—!"
"If I may," Fukaboshi interjected with a raised hand before Chopper could fight his way out of our gunner's grasp and really made things interesting. "I believe that now that all protests have been addressed…?" A moment of silence, and he nodded. "Then I shall do a christening. To the Flames of Liberation: may they burn eternally as a symbol of our defiance!"
"AYE!" And with that cry, the Supernovas raised their arms and cast the torches into the pit…
KRA-KOOM! FWOOSH!
And the rest, as they say, was history.
-o-
Unseen to all, standing just a few paces behind the captains—behind one obliviously smiling captain in particular—was a woman casually taking a drag from her cigarette.
The moment the Supernovas—this new, mad, absolutely incredible generation of pirates—threw in their torches, she flicked in her smouldering stub right alongside them.
"That one's for you," Shakky chuckled wistfully, watching the smoke rise to the heavens. "You damn Gold fool…"
And with that, she turned around and walked away. She lit up another cigarette, calmly blowing out smoke to join the pillar, and her voice softly joined in the new chorus that had risen from the masses around her.
"Will you give all you can give,
So that our banner may advance?
Some will fall, and some will live,
Will you stand up and take your chance?"
Beyond the horizon
Your freedom awaits you at last!"
-o-
"DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING?
SINGING A SONG OF ANGRY MEN?
IT IS THE MUSIC OF A PEOPLE
WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAIN!"
WHEN THE BEATING OF YOUR HEART,
ECHOES THE BEATING OF THE DRUMS,
THERE IS A LIFE ABOUT TO START
WHEN TOMORROW COMES!"
Much as I wanted to join the swelling chorus that would surely echo in this place's memory for generations to come, I had to turn away for a bit. Stepping a short distance away from the main glut of the crowd, I leered down at my partner.
"What is so important that you have to drag me away from the celebration?" I 'hissed,' making my consternation sound genuine, but really, it was taking all my discipline to muffle my smile. If everything up until then had been the climax of my plan, then this was without a doubt the coup de grâce, and I intended to play it perfectly.
"This is IMPORTANT, CROSS!" Soundbite whined piteously before re-donning his cocky smirk. "YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHO FOLLOWED US ALL THE WAY HERE HOPING FOR AN up close and deadly visit!"
I heaved a weary sigh, slapping a hand to my face. "Oh, great, a vendetta-seeker? Soundbite, that's a long list. If you want me to guess, I need a clue."
"HEEHEEHEEhoohoohoo, FAIR 'NUFF!" the gastropod cackled. "HERE'S A CLUE: WE LAST SAW THEM in the land of sand!"
My facepalm slowly transitioned to pinching my nose. "…swear to God, if Croc or Daz Bonez got out—!"
"Eesh, that would be nasty, BUT NOPE! Also, wrong side of the law."
"Then who—?!" I recoiled as I affected an expression of terror. Not that hard, with all the memories I could draw from. "Oh, crap, tell me it's not Smoker, because that could be a real—!"
"YEAH, TRUST ME, I'M AWARE, I've been keeping a non-existent ear out for ANY REPORTS OF KILLER SMOG…" Soundbite grimaced and glanced aside before eagerly perking up. "But we're in luck, 'cause not a peep on that front! For now, we're only being shadowed by his four-eyed flunky!"
"Tashigi?" I blinked in surprise before cradling my chin thoughtfully. "Alright, not as much of a threat… but still pretty skilled and definitely still bearing a grudge against us…" I paused and looked at my partner in confusion. "Wait, how come we haven't heard reports of her hauling pirates in by the crewful? Even if you were redirecting people around her, or her around us, she'd still be on the hunt, wouldn't she?"
"OH SHE IS, SHE IS!" Soundbite nodded eagerly, looking like he was seconds away from busting into joyful hysterics. "IT'S JUST THAT SHE'S… distracted by other prey. We leave behind a lot of scraps, dontcha know!"
"Scraps? What are you—OH!" I slammed my fist in my palm. "Oh, so that's… what you…" And then I trailed off once more, as my face slowly underwent a metamorphosis of realization. "Oh. Ooh, ohohoh!"
"CROSS?" Soundbite drew out.
"Pffhohohoh…" I chuckled menacingly, not exaggerating that in the least. "Oh. Yes! Oh, that! Is! Good! Brilliance, even, sheer brilliance, right at its finest!"
"Oh lordy lordy, you've got a plan," the snail moaned.
"Don't sound so scared!"
"THE LAST TIME YOU HAD AN IDEA, THIS HAPPENED!" he sniped, waving his eyes out to indicate… well, the entire archipelago. "I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE SCARED!"
I briefly considered that before shrugging. "…point. Anyway, are you willing to help me with this idea, or do I need a snail with balls? Or at least, balls bigger than yours."
"NO SUCH SNAIL EXISTS!" he snapped. Then he blinked and rolled his eyestalks. "Hmph. Guess I have no choice but to handle it myself."
"Thank you for your sacrifice. Now!" I snapped my fingers and proudly pointed out into the groves. "Connect me to Tashigi, on the double!"
"ROGER ROGER! One call coming up, featuring Jeremiah Cross as?"
I sneered as I thumbed out the collar of my jacket. "Himself, naturally."
"Say wha—?!…I seriously hope you know WHAT YOU'RE DOING…"
"That makes two of us, now ring."
And as Soundbite rang, I revelled in the anticipation of the display I was about to put on. After all, as far as the world knew, Tashigi and they were still enemies. I was the cocky manipulator, she the hapless but idealistic Marine…
And it was with that very dynamic that I intended to hammer the final nail into the World Government's coffin.
But of course, for an effective dance…
"KALICK!"
One needs an equally able partner.
"This is Lieutenant Tashigi, busy in the middle of somethin—HEY, WATCH IT!" A clang of steel obscured her voice, presumably to put down some idiot stupid enough to think this conversation was even half an opening. "Sorry about that, I'm clear now. Anyways, who is this?"
"Why, this would be Third Mate Jeremiah Cross, currently in the middle of celebrating an overwhelming victory on the part of piracy," I all but purred, sweeping my arm across my chest in a nice and mocking show of a bow. "Good evening, Lieutenant, long time no infuriate! How's the blood pressure?"
"SPIKING NOW THAT I'M SPEAKING TO YOU, YOU POMPOUS BLOWHARD!" Tashigi roared, Soundbite's veins nearly pulsing. "WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME, YOU BASTARD SON OF A BITCH!?"
"Now now, let's all calm down, Lieutenant, no need to bring Akainu or his mother into this…" I said placatingly, making a show of examining my gauntlet's nails, which must have broadcast quite well if Tashigi's feral snarling was anything to go by. "But as for the why, well…" I shrugged ever so innocently. "I missed you, that's all!"
"HA!"
"But I did," I whined in my most petulant of tones. "I mean, I put on this most wonderful of song and dances, spun the world on its ear, and at my hour of glory… You don't even RSVP? I feel so betrayed, my dear, why… I don't even have the words. Standing a man up like this at his peak, it's just…" I choked back a nice, fake sob as I made doe eyes at Soundbite, who looked fit to choke on his own tongue. "Be honest with me: is there another pirate? Is he… Is he more infuriating than me?"
The act was dropped in favour of biting my knuckles as Tashigi made noises that shouldn't have been producible by a human throat. No, seriously, I don't doubt that somewhere nearby, Chopper was taking notes and muttering as he amended some thesis of his.
-o-
"…can hatefucking be verbal? Because I'm pretty sure that this counts at this point," Nami muttered, staring at Brain in a mix of horrified awe and disgusted fascination.
Apoo chortled, filling in for Vivi, who was too busy leaning against a thoroughly hysterical Merry. "Clearly, you haven't been listening to Law and Kid snipe at each other over the past two weeks. It's sickening, bizarre, probably banned in most of the World… and kind of awe-inspiring to watch, if I'm being honest."
Robin promptly tossed him a Tone Dial. "Get me a recording, would you?"
"For research, I'm guessing?"
"…mostly blackmail, but Chopper greatly appreciates any contributions to his research."
-o-
"But, ah…" I picked up once Tashigi finally ran out of air. "For real, where were you, Lieutenant? I wouldn't think you one to miss a nice little meet-up like this without good reason!"
"Oh, you gave me PLENTY of reasons, you smug prick, and you know it!" Tashigi snorted, actually puffing out a cloud of steam. "The entire time you and your fellow scum have been running rampant through the archipelago, you've been leaving your scraps behind! And as much as I would love, and I mean love to see you chained, shackled and nailed to the wall—"
I exchanged a very wary look with Soundbite. "Not even touching that one…" I stage-whispered.
"—The fact remains that we can't leave the monsters you leave destitute free to do as they please, either! We've been stuck with dozens of arrests, countless counts of accessory to these crimes, trails miles long leading off into the Blues themselves…!" Tashigi's outrage slowly twisted into a look of pride. "You pirates might have your 'victory' right now, if you can call it that, but we Marines have our own, too! We'll see the evils of slavery rooted out of this world, once and for all! Us, and not you!"
I took a moment to let that statement sink in, and then tsked dismissively and turned my head away. "Pardon me if I don't exactly hold my breath. After all, didn't you and yours already make that promise two hundred years ago?"
"SCREW YOU!"
"Sorry, not interested," I shot back, before moving on to the main event. "Especially since I doubt you'll be in much of a position to do anything for much longer. Come now, how long do you think you can keep this up, Tashigi? How much more can you do before Marineford slaps you silly with a cease-and-desist order and tells you to get back to hunting us before they boot you down to Chore Boy?"
"HA! Your lies are as see-through as your so-called 'integrity,' Cross!" Tashigi snapped, Soundbite leaning forward and transmitting the tiniest grin she was wearing under her scowl, as she ramped up for her finale. "There is no possible way that such a thing would ever happen, because the Marines and World Government are utter bastions of truth, integrity, and morality! Never in a million years would they condone the villainy of slavery! As bad as you are, the priority is obvious: the slaver scum will be dealt with, in totality, and that's a promise! Each and every last one that you pirates 'discover' and put out of business, we'll arrest and convict them all!"
Just a bit more, just a bit—!
Soundbite's eyestalks snapped upright, as Tashigi herself snapped to attention. "I STAKE THE VERY PRIDE OF THE NAVY ON THIS VOW!"
And there it was. There. It. Was. At long last… checkmate.
I shivered, literally shivered as the sensation of victory washed over me, before re-donning the demon's mask so that I could bring it on home.
"Do you, now?" I crooned. "Well, then, so be it. Let's hope that your precious Navy still has enough pride left to put up at all! Especially since…" I swept my arm out at the world and grinned. "Well. Now that the entire world has heard your vow, it holds each and every one of you to account! Put your money where your mouth is, Lieutenant… or lose it all forevermore!"
"In case you didn't notice," Soundbite sneered. "YOU'RE PRESENTING FROM THE OTHER END OF THE SPECTRUM… ON CANDID SNAIL."
A moment of silence, a heartbeat that stretched for an eternity… and then—
"JEREMIAH CROSS, YOU SON OF A—!"
I cut her off with a lackadaisical swipe of my hand across my throat… though the echoes that bounced through the archipelago weren't halted in the least.
The deed all nice and done, I shot a final smirk up at the overwatching Gif.
"Well, I think that that just about does it," I preened. "Guess there are still enough Marines who can be trusted to do the right thing in the world, so I can trust that this market is condemned to the shadows where it belongs. If it can operate at all after this. So, from all of us here at the SBS, see you next time! This is Jeremiah Cross—"
"—and SOUNDBITE!"
"Signing off."
Once I thumbed the cradle and the broadcast was properly cut off, my partner's grin fell into a grimace. "… you know the World Government is going to kill her FOR THAT, RIGHT?"
"Oh, they will certainly wish they could, that's for sure, and they might even try…" I admitted. "But we've just shoved the spotlight directly onto the good Lieutenant and chained it in place. In one fell swoop, she's become the public figurehead of integrity in the Navy, and as such, a hero to the public. If she gets so much as a nosebleed under suspicious circumstances…" I sneered as I slowly dragged my thumb across my throat. "Then every whisper of corruption becomes ratified, and the noose around the Marine's neck twists all the tighter. And as such, they're left with only two options."
"PLAY NICE…" Soundbite summarized with a nod of his own. "OR FOLD."
"Precisely," I nodded, securing the mic in its cradle and turning to walk back to the party, only to pause.
For you see, behind me stood every Supernova who wasn't part of my crew or the Masons, all of them staring at me with unreadable expressions.
"…Alright, seriously, Cross," Eustass Kid said at last. "How in the hell did you pull that off?!"
I stepped forward and casually swung my arm over his shoulder, pointedly ignoring the snarling glare that hammered into the side of my head.
"Ahhhh, Eustass, Eustass, Eustass… you mind if I call you Eustass?" I ignored the litany of curses that streamed out. "Let me tell you something interesting: before today, I never thought I'd be saying this, but… One day…" I chuckled—honestly chuckled—as I poked his chest. "I just might trust you all enough to tell you."
And then, before he could snag and wring my neck, I darted away from him, past the rest of the captains and spun around to give them all a smile as I swayed back on my heels.
"Just be warned! If—and that is a very big 'if,' mind you—that day should come…"
I swung my arms out wide and let them behold the sheer everything that had come to pass, that was happening, and still had yet to be.
"You will all look back on this day… as nothing but a footnote."