Jan looks at me the same way I look at him; it feels like he's seeing into my soul. With all my strength, I pull away from him and say:
"I want to go to my room, Jan bey, if you'll permit me."
"Go then, do that," he says quietly. Frustrated, he throws his arms up, then places his fingers on his forehead to relieve the tension before returning to his room.
I know he's furious. Being here with him only leaves me confused. Do I care if he's alone with Naz to help Emre or out of jealousy? I can't like a man who plays games with me and with models. He was enjoying all the attention and the stage Naz was giving him; he knew she was interested in him and didn't set limits because that's what he is: a conqueror who, on top of everything, has a girlfriend. A fake who wants to destroy his father's company, and for that reason, I cannot fail this mission.
"If you think I'm going to let this slide, Mr. Jan, you're very mistaken. You think you're the only one who knows how to play? Well, I know too."
I say this to myself while staring at a fire alarm. It seems like an excellent idea to pull it. Soon, several people rush out of their rooms, desperate. Naz runs toward her room, while Jan steps out calmly. He spots me near his room and a pulled alarm; he realized it.
"Bravo, Aylla. Bravo." I pretend to be alarmed and scream:
"Fire!" While I place my hands on Jan's arms and run out.
Now seems like a good time to take the must-see hiking trail the hotel was promoting. Escaping the chaos I created, Jan and Naz. I walk for an hour until I spot a cliff and rocks further ahead. On the ground, there's an iron plaque telling a legend. I observe the beautiful landscape surrounding me for a few minutes.
"It's a love story," I turn and see Jan near me. He looks at the ground, kicking pebbles around me, his gaze a mix of accusation and curiosity about why I did what I did.
"Jan bey, what are you doing here?"
"After a triggered false alarm, Naz—who is much calmer, by the way—wanted dinner. But when we went and I saw her dinner was just salad or a strange vitamin, I decided to look for you. It's been two hours since you pulled the fire alarm, and I was worried about what trouble you might be getting into."
Jan continues to walk around me with his hands behind his back, almost as if thinking of his next steps. I stay silent; sometimes it's the best option.
"They told me you went for a hike," he continues. I'm tired of keeping my distance from Jan when, in truth, I appreciate his company. I hate this constant state of vigilance, trying to be strong every time he gets too close.
I stay silent, watching the iron plaque on the ground. Jan stands beside me, observing the scenery and the plaque, and begins telling the story:
"The story is about a princess who fell in love with a traveling sailor. They swore eternal love, but her family was against it because they were of different classes. So, one day, they decided to run away and promised to meet at this exact spot. He was catching the ship and she was waiting for him on this rock, but they never managed to meet. Some say it was a storm, others blame her family or the suitors the princess had. The princess said that without him, her existence became a void. He was her song, her air, her source. So, when she spotted his ship, but with no sign of him being on board, she began to sail through the places they had sworn to visit together. His memories were what kept her on the journey. When she grew old and fell ill, she asked for her ashes to be taken and scattered on this rock where she had waited for her beloved. That way, her ashes would keep traveling, seeking to find him through the wind."
Before I know it, I'm crying. Silent tears fall down my face. How could such a beautiful love have to go through this? Not a day went by that she didn't think of him, and when she died, it was thinking of finding him in death.
"Aylla?" When I turn to face Jan, I stumble and nearly fall off the cliff. He catches me by the waist and arms. "Were you crying?"
"It's such a sad story."
I realize we are still staring at each other, close together, just like we were hours ago. But this time, I have more strength. This story gave me strength; I'm no longer thinking about this foolish feeling I have for Jan, but about the Albatross. I will find him because I know he is the love of my life. I will look for him even if it takes an eternity.
"It's better if we go back, Jan bey."
"Are you hungry?"
"Famished."
Jan, during dinner with Naz, managed to close the campaign with the model on the same day, despite my efforts. However, it was late for us to return. On the way from the restaurant, I find myself questioning how a man like Jan would be trying to ruin his family's company. What would the motivations be? He seems like such a unique, honest, kind, attentive person... Is it possible to present this image while hiding a dark side?
We stop near a pier after our meal, sitting side by side, watching the starry night and listening to the sound of the sea. "How can you be like this, Aylla?"
"Like what, Jan bey?" We are staring at each other as if it's the first time.
"You are a strong woman, clumsy, but at the same time, you seem like such a naive girl, enchanted by the world. How can a woman be so genuine?"
"Where are you going with this, Jan bey?" he looks at me startled. "You can't treat me like this. You're my boss, you have a girlfriend, you can't play with me like this."
He stands up, serious. "You're right, Aylla. I crossed the line. From now on, we will have a professional relationship. No friendship, just work, and we will only speak of that." He raises his arms, looking like he wanted to say something else, but turns and heads toward the hotel.
My heart is broken. Maybe I was a bit harsh with him. Even though I enjoy his company, I must be realistic for once: he has a girlfriend, he is my boss, and he wants to sell his father's company. I can't let myself be carried away in this cat-and-mouse game, because as he said, I am naive and not capable of handling it.
I look at the starry sky and the light so bright from the crescent moon. I've always been in love with the moon; the phases I love most are the full and the crescent. It's as if, in all my conflicts and feelings I can't handle, the Moon is in this phase to tell me: "Even if it seems like there's no solution, I will be shining for you, to give you strength until you find the way out."
"Allah, Allah... will I find the Albatross? And is he looking for me?" I say this looking at the sky, hoping for an answer, but I only see the expansive, bright sky swallowing me into the waters of the unknown.