A month and a half has passed at the company. I haven't seen the Albatross again, and Jan continues to arrive every day with his wonderful girlfriend, Polen, as if they were walking a runway for model couples. Today, she places her hand on his arm, and Jan smiles discreetly. I roll my eyes; it's a nauseating scene. I don't even know why I should care. My focus should be on finding the Albatross, but ever since Jan almost kissed me, I've directed all my energy into how annoying he is.
"Günaydın, Aylla."
"Günaydın, Jan bey. Should I bring tea for you and coffee for Polen?" I scratch my nose, trying to hold back a sneeze.
"I see your allergy hasn't improved," Jan turns toward his office.
"It might, if you'd cooperate," I whisper.
"What was that?"
"That the weather isn't cooperating," I lie. Jan approaches again, takes off his sunglasses, and stands very close to me.
"Polen will only be here for the morning," he places his sunglasses on my head, gives me a charming wink, and leaves.
I march angrily to the cafeteria. Jan thinks he's the center of the world. I hand his glasses to Zeki, who is distracted messaging Ezgi.
"Günaydın, Aylla. Your energy isn't good," Zeki remarks.
"It's Jan bey! What does he think I am? A tea-fetcher? He's arrogant."
"Aylla, most women do find him attractive. If I didn't know you, I'd say you did too."
"Zeki, I feel nothing for him. I'm in love with my fiancé—the one from the retreat."
"Günaydın!" Layla appears accompanied by Kerem. My heart lights up.
"Kerem! What a joy to see you at the office... I mean, for business, it's a joy! Would you like some coffee?" Zeki and Layla leave us alone. Kerem smiles at me from across the counter.
"I've been thinking a lot about you, Aylla. I should have taken your number that day so we could properly arrange our date."
"I've been thinking the same thing," I smile, resting my head on my hand.
"Aylla?!" I turn my head slowly. It was Jan, with Polen by his side. He is furious.
"Jan bey..."
"I was waiting for the tea, but I see you're distracted," he says, staring at Kerem seriously. "Kerem! Second time we've seen each other in such a short time!" Polen greets him. Jan knew they were friends and didn't tell me!
"You know each other?" I ask.
"Childhood friends," she hugs him.
"I see you're getting to know Aylla."
"Yes, I think we met at Jan's father's company party," Kerem says.
"I highly doubt it," Jan retorts, sharply. He looks at me and suddenly smiles. These mood swings are killing me.
"Kerem, I'll see you tonight," Polen says. "Reservation at seven, Jan. Don't be late. Why don't we all go? A double date: Kerem and Aylla, Jan and me."
"Great," Kerem agrees.
Jan turns serious again immediately. He cancels the meeting with Kerem, claiming a headache, and asks for tea over the phone. I force Zeki to take the tea in my place in exchange for doing his work for a week. I hide in my office, but Jan appears. He rests his elbows on my desk, his face inches from mine.
"Running away from me?"
"Yes," I reply, to his surprise. I stand up, angry. "You change moods all the time! One minute you smile, the next you're bothered by Kerem."
"I told you he's not the Albatross. I'm looking out for your safety."
"And since when do you care? Do I look like I need protection?"
"And I don't understand why you want to find the Albatross if you have a fiancé!" He's worked up.
The next words burn in my throat. "Jan bey... if you tell me not to go, I won't. If you tell me to go, I will," I say quietly.
The silence is heavy. Jan stares at me, his eyes glowing with something I can't name.
"Go, Aylla. Find out for yourself that Kerem is not the Albatross."
"How are you so sure? My life is none of your business!"
He goes quiet. It seems I've dealt the final blow. Jan approaches, holds my arms, and looks at me deeply. "Aylla... you are driving me crazy, truly. You're right, I invaded your privacy. I'll see you tonight."
He leaves. I should be relieved, but I feel an immense weight. I gave him the chance to confess how he feels, but he chose coldness. I said the right words to make him leave, but those words feel like the wrong ones for my heart.