"So what are you planning to do next? Want to go see Aunt May and M.J.?"
Spider-Man Noir's question caught Peter completely off guard. Seeing Aunt May was one thing, but what business did he have going to see M.J.?
Peter stared at him like he was an idiot, and Noir immediately felt a little uncomfortable.
"Did I say something wrong?"
"I don't like M.J. In my world, to be exact, she's my best friend Harry's girlfriend. I already have a girl I like."
"Let me guess. Black Cat? She really is something, but her father was a notorious thief. In my world, I sent him to the grave myself, and that ended up being why she and I broke up."
"Don't dump your old relationships on me. It makes me look cheap."
"Betty? Jill? Anna? Or Sofia?"
"Hey! Your love life is a disaster. You even went after Gwen's cousin? Jesus, that's awful. With a mess like that, how are you not worried about catching something?"
At that point, Peter wanted to get as far away from this guy as possible. He was seriously gross. It was hard to believe this was another version of himself.
"Gwen? So you actually like Gwen? Well, she is pretty, and she's got a great figure too. Too bad in my world we're more like rivals. She's a cop, I'm a private detective, and we can't stand each other."
Spider-Man Noir clearly had not expected Peter to be into Gwen. In his world, he and Gwen had been classmates for a while, but they had never interacted that deeply. Later, he became a detective to help Uncle Ben, while Gwen became a police officer with help from her father.
Overall, they really did not get along.
"So how far did things get?"
"You know you're really nosy, right?"
"Come on, tell me."
"I couldn't save her."
Peter put on a deeply pained expression. As a lone wolf, even when dealing with another version of himself, he still was not about to tell the full truth.
I can tell you the truth, but that does not mean I have to tell you all of it.
That meant he was, admittedly, using a little borrowed tragedy from another Spider-Man.
"Hey, don't get down, brother. Trust me, Spider-Man's luck with women doesn't stop there. You'll meet someone even better."
Spider-Man Noir patted him on the shoulder.
"If you don't know how to comfort people, then don't bother. Forget it, I'm leaving. Maybe we'll meet again if fate feels like it. Talking to you is exhausting."
Peter shot him a look, then jumped down and walked away without turning back.
"Hey, you're not planning to work together with me?"
"I'm a lone wolf. Even working with myself feels weird."
Peter waved without looking back and kept walking. Watching him go, Spider-Man Noir tilted his head and muttered to himself, "What a strange Peter..."
Then he disappeared into the night as well.
...
In Times Square, after thoroughly teaching a few punks a lesson, Peter finally came into a little unexpected income.
Then he went into a pizza place and ate until he was satisfied. By the time he walked out, he had already decided he needed dessert too, just to get some sugar into his system.
But the moment he stepped out of the pizza shop, he noticed the news playing on the LED screen mounted on a nearby building.
"...we interrupt this broadcast with breaking news. The superhero known as Spider-Man is dead, reportedly killed during a major quake event in Brooklyn..."
"Multiple sources have now confirmed that the superhero Spider-Man, who saved the city many times over the years, was Peter Parker, a twenty-six-year-old graduate student and part-time photographer. He had reportedly been active as Spider-Man for at least ten years..."
As the words echoed across the square, nearly everyone looked up.
The giant LED display, which had just been showing celebrity promotional footage, had suddenly switched over to a news report.
The moment people heard that Spider-Man was dead, they froze.
Peter Parker included.
"I died?!"
"Well... I mean, this universe's Peter Parker died? The Ultimate Spider-Man died that easily?!"
Peter stared at the giant screen showing another version of himself with the mask removed but still wearing the suit.
A bizarre feeling rose up in his chest.
Death itself was not what bothered him.
But seeing another version of himself reported dead left him with a strange, indescribable discomfort.
Still.
He had to admit it.
The superhero Spider-Man of this world was dead.
At least according to the official story.
"That really does count as dying young..."
"What a waste. If you hadn't died, you probably would've married M.J. soon..."
Peter sighed inwardly.
"Spider-Man is dead? Oh my God! How could that happen?!"
"Exactly! He was supposed to be the best! He could swing through the air like it was nothing. How does someone like that die in a quake?"
"This is insane. I bet Spider-Man himself would be frustrated too. He could do everything, but in the face of one quake, he still couldn't do anything..."
"Mom, Spider-Man solved so many crises. How could he die so easily..."
"Sweetheart, Spider-Man was still human. Maybe he was just tired..."
The crowd around the square began reacting in waves.
Over ten years, this universe's Spider-Man had reached the absolute top of public fame.
He was the most famous superhero in the city.
So many people admired him, and now he was suddenly gone. It was a genuinely heartbreaking piece of news.
And the story was spreading at full speed. Almost every channel was already talking about Spider-Man's death.
There was no doubt that for a long while, this was all anyone was going to talk about.
"Peter Parker?!"
One sharp-eyed guy spotted Peter in the crowd right away, but then looked confused. Why did this Peter Parker look so much younger?
"Spider-Man came back from the dead!!!"
Peter had no idea which girl shouted that, but the whole square immediately exploded into chaos.
Spreading his hands helplessly, Peter said, "Why is everyone staring at me? I just look like him, that's all."
"You're not on some secret mission or something, are you? Like, faking your death?"
"Wow, your imagination is impressive. But sorry, I'm really not him. Or maybe Spider-Man really is dead."
After saying that, Peter directly summoned the Spider-Man Dark Suit through the system, let it wrap over his body, then fired a web line and swung away.
"Damn it! And you're still saying you're not Spider-Man?! What a liar!"
"But he did look kind of different..."
"Now that you mention it, yeah, that was weird. I've never seen an all-black Spider-Man before..."
"Hey, spread the word, Spider-Man isn't dead!"
"What's wrong with you? What if he's on some secret mission? Aren't you wrecking the whole thing?!"
"Alright, guys, looks like this idiot needs to learn a lesson!"
No one even knew who started it, but the guy who had yelled that Spider-Man was alive got beaten so badly he barely looked human by the end.
(End of Chapter)
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