SF Chapter 98: Great Expectations
Days after the chaos that was the night after the Primetime party, Daniel was at his sister's house. The whole family was gathered for dinner.
Mitchell was flipping through one of Haley's fashion magazines when he suddenly paused. "Daniel, isn't she your ex?"
"Where?"
His brother showed him a picture of a stunningly beautiful model advertising a luxury brand.
"Yep, Lindsay," Daniel smiled while looking at the photo.
"Wow, she is gorgeous," Manny stared with wide eyes. "Why would you even break up with her?"
"She moved to New York," Dani replied.
Haley suddenly remembered her. "Wait, isn't she the one who was way taller than you, Dani?"
"That one. She was seven inches taller than me, a year older, the most beautiful girl in school, and surprisingly, also one of the top students," Dani replied smugly.
"So she was blind?" Alex remarked with her usual sassy attitude.
Dani looked at her before pulling a photo out of his wallet. "I wooed her with an awesome picture of me and my cute little niece."
He showed them a photo of Alex wearing a pink princess costume, striking a dramatic pose while sitting on his shoulder. They looked around five and nine years old.
"Give me that!" Alex yelled while trying to snatch it out of his hand.
He raised his arm and held the photo high above his head while continuing the story.
"To compare, it was like she was as tall as Mitch, while I was only a little taller than midget Haley here."
"Huh?!" Haley made an outraged noise. "I'm not a midget!"
Now both of his nieces were trying to hit him.
[Jay Commentary]
The patriarch was sitting on the couch in the Dunphys' living room.
"Daniel always had this ridiculous confidence and shameless attitude ever since he was little."
He continued, "But this one surprised even me. Imagine your thirteen-year-old son bringing home a taller, older, and ridiculously out-of-his-league beautiful girl."
"Dad, bring my girlfriend over here!' he said to me." Jay shook his head, looking caught somewhere between being a very proud father and wondering what was wrong with that kid.
But he kept going. First, he glanced around carefully to make sure no one was nearby.
"I remember looking at that kid and thinking… 'How the hell is he pulling this off?'"
"Meanwhile," he pointed at himself, "I was a grown man still overthinking whether Gloria would even say yes to dinner."
He went quiet for a moment before finally admitting, "And I swear to God… part of me thought… 'If this dumb little bastard can do it, I can too.'"
Jay let out a rare genuine laugh.
[Commentary Ends]
Dani explained to the two boys, "Hear me out, Luke and Manny. Normally, there are two kinds of very beautiful girls."
"The ones like Regina, who are popular and extroverted, sometimes even loud. With girls like that, you usually need to be either rich, popular, handsome, athletic… or all of them together."
He continued, "Then there's the type like Lindsay, more introverted. The truth is, they're usually lonely. Guys are too intimidated to talk to them, and other girls are jealous of their beauty."
"So if you treat them like a normal human being, and maybe make them laugh sometimes, that alone already does wonders."
Claire immediately smacked him on the back of the head.
"What exactly are you teaching them?" she scoffed.
"So if I included being romantic - reading poems, bringing flowers - and showing her that I understand her, her pain. Would that make it even better?" Manny asked, obviously interested.
"Yes..." Dani agreed. "...if you want to become like Mitch. Their gay best friend."
Jay laughed out loud, while even Mitchell looked amused. But Claire immediately snapped at him again.
"Dani!" she hissed.
"Here, Sis, take this," he said while handing her the photo. "I have some with Luke and Haley too." He pulled a few more photos out of his wallet.
Claire took a look at the photos. "Oh, you were so cute back then!" she said affectionately.
Haley leaned in to see it too and immediately screamed.
"Oh my God! Why am I dressed like monkey?!" she said indignantly.
"It's Chewbacca, honey," Phil corrected, as if that somehow made it better for her.
[Daniel commentary]
"Obviously, I made a few oversimplifications," Dani commented. "But they're ten. They don't really need much more than that."
And he changed the subject. "About the photos in my wallet, I keep a few family pictures in there."
"It's also a weapon Phil and I created to appease Sis whenever she's angry."
[Commentary ends]
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After dinner, most of the adults were talking among themselves, while Haley, Daniel, Manny, and Phil were sitting on the main couch watching another episode of The O.C.
Alex was stretched out on an armchair reading a book, completely uninterested in the show.
"Yeah, I'm watching it," Dani replied on the phone. But then he immediately whined, "Don't spoil me."
"Dani," Haley warned, annoyed that he was talking while she was trying to watch.
"Yes, it's another girl," Dani said into the phone. "But this one is my niece, so no."
"She's kind of like you. Messy and needy."
He immediately received a kick from Haley and a complaint from the other side of the line.
"I need to hang up before I annoy everyone here even more. Call you later."
"Who was it?" Haley ended up asking.
Dani said nonchalantly, "A troublesome girl I met a few days ago."
He decided not to mention that he had been keeping in touch with Mischa Barton, the very protagonist of the show they were currently watching.
"Wow, your friend is really beautiful," Haley commented while watching Lexi acting on screen.
"If I treated someone like her normally, would I have a chance?" Manny joined the conversation.
"Yeah, no," Dani immediately denied. "In this case, it doesn't really work like that."
Then Daniel changed the subject.
"By the way, Lexi introduced me to all of them at the party I went to. Ben, Adam, Mischa, and Rachel."
"No way!" Haley practically jumped on him. "Introduce me to them, pretty please!"
"I really want to meet Mischa," Manny added excitedly.
"I'll see what I can do..." Dani said without making any promises.
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