The sun over Maplewood was... aggressively picturesque. It wasn't the muted, filtered light that struggled through the pollution-clouded skies of Tokyo.
This was a golden, honeyed glow that poured over the half timbered buildings and cobblestone streets like liquid butter, making everything look like it had been personally approved by a tourism board for fantasy worlds.
Birds chirped melodiously, not in the sporadic, argumentative way of the city sparrows, but in full-blown, Disney-esque choruses.
The air was so clean it felt like I was cheating on my lungs. It was, in a word, nauseating.
After a surprisingly comfortable night spent in a cheap but clean room paid for with another illusory coin~a transaction that filled my soul with petty, bureaucratic joy~I was ready to begin my life of purposeful indolence.
And that meant a visit to the one institution every isekai protagonist, willing or not, was contractually obligated to frequent: the Adventurer's Guild.
The building was exactly as I'd imagined: a large, rustic hall of sturdy oak beams, smelling of sawdust, polish, and shimmering stew.
A massive wooden board at one end was plastered with parchments of various sizes and colors, and a long counter separated the riff-raff from the people who actually knew what was going on.
The air buzzed with the low hum of conversation, the clink of armor, and the occasional boisterous laugh from a party of well-equipped adventures.
I took a moment to just observe, leaning against a wall near the entrance. 'Absolute Stealth,' I thought, not to vanish, but to dial my presence down to a setting of 'mildly interesting patch of moss.'
Immediately, the few glances that had flickered in my direction slid away without registering. I was part of the scenery. It was glorious.
My eyes scanned the crowd, and 'Ultimate Appraisal' flickered on and off without my conscious command, feeding me useless, delightful trivia.
[Appraisal Target: Dwarf Male]
Name: Borin Ironhand
Level: 24
Thoughts: 'That elf's ponytail is too perfect. Bet it's magic. Vanity. My axe has more soul than her entire lineage.'
[Appraisal Target: Elf Female]
Name: Lyra Swiftarrow
Level: 19
Thoughts: 'The dwarf smells of damp earth and stubbornness. Also, he is staring. How tedious.'
I suppressed a chuckle. This was better than cable television.
My gaze then fell upon the source of most of the organized chaos: the reception desk. There were several attendants, but one in particular was a vortex of energy.
A young woman with vibrant, crimson hair tied back in a practical but still somehow lively ponytail.
She was currently dealing with a hulking beastkin who was complaining about his quest reward.
"~and the notice said 'up to five gold!' Five! Not three!" The beastkin, a wolf-type, growled, slamming a clawed hand on the counter.
The receptionist didn't flinch. She just smiled, a brilliant, sunny expression that could probably power a small village.
"But Mr. Grak! The notice also specified 'based on pelt quality.' The quest issuer determined your dire-wolf pelts had significant moth damage and were only 'B-Grade.' Three gold is actually quite generous!"
"Moth damage! Preposterous!"
"I have the assessment right here," she said, producing a parchment with a flourish.
"See? 'Patchy fur, section 4B, consistent with Luna-Moth larvae infestation.' It's very specific."
Grak the beastkin deflated, his ears dropping. "...Luna-Moths? My grandmother's rug... It's all making sense now."
He took his three gold coins, muttering about pest control, and shuffled away.
The receptionist let out a small, satisfied sigh, then her eyes, the color of emeralds, scanned the room and landed directly on me. Or, they should have landed on me.
I was still using a light version of Absolute Stealth. Yet, her gaze paused for a fraction of a second on my patch of wall, her head tilting in faint curiosity before moving on.
A small chill went down my spine. Was she... Perceptive? Or was the skill not as absolute against naturally observant people? A data point to file away. Time to get this over with.
I released the stealth and walked towards her counter. As I got closer, Ultimate Appraisal automatically fed me her details.
[Appraisal Target: Lily]
Race: Human
Age: 20
Occupation: Adventurer's Guild Receptionist (Maplewood Branch)
Level: 4
HP: 70/70
MP: 50/50
Skills:
[Administration Lv. 6]
[Negotiation Lv. 5]
[Perception Lv. 4]
[Basic First Aid Lv. 3]
[Keen Eye Lv. 4]
Current Thoughts: 'New face. Looks soft. Hope he doesn't take a goblin-slaying quest and come back crying.'
Life Story: Born in the capital, moved to Maplewood for the 'quieter life,' secretly trains with throwing daggers every morning, has a hidden crush on the captain of the town guard, thinks the head receptionist, Gerald, steals pastries from the breakroom (she is correct).
"Welcome to the Adventurer's Guild of Maplewood!" She chirped, her smile back at full wattage. "I'm Lily! Looking to register, or are you picking up a quest?"
"Registration," I said, my voice thankfully steady and appropriately bland.
"Excellent! Just fill out this form, and we'll get you set up with your beginner's permit and identification tag!" She slid a piece of parchment and a quill across the counter.
The form was simple. Name, Age, Race, Known Skills. I filled it out with practiced, unremarkable handwriting.
Name: Bob
Age: 18
Race: Human
Skills: Herbology (Basic), Survival (Basic)
Lily took the form, hey eyes scanning it. "Bob! A good, solid name. Easy to remember."
Her [Administration] skill was probably going crazy over the neat penmanship.
"Alright, Bob. The registration fee is five copper coins."
I reached into the small pouch at my belt~a prop I'd bought that morning~and willed five copper coins from my [Infinite Inventory] into my palm. I placed them on the counter.
The transaction felt surreal. I was paying a pittance for a license that would grant me access to a world of danger, all so I could avoid said danger more effectively.
Lily took the coins, stamped my form with a satisfying thump, and reached under the counter. She produced a simple, dull copper tag on a leather cord.
"Here you are! Your official F-Rank Adventurer's tag. You can now take any quest marked with a white or gray tag on the board. Remember your actions reflect on the Guild, so always do your best and follow the rules!"
She handed me the tag. It was cool and slightly heavy in my hand. A symbol of my new, fake career.
"Thanks," I said, giving her a nod that I hoped conveyed 'harmless and unambitious.'
"So, Bob," Lily leaned forward slightly, her voice dropping to a more conversational tone. "What kind of quest are you thinking of for the first time? We have some lovely herb-gathering ones. Very peaceful. Good for getting to know the local flora."
I could have kissed her. She was actively steering me away from danger. She was an angel in a practical tunic.
"Herbs sound perfect," I said, my gratitude genuine.
"Great! Let me see..." She turned to a filling box behind her. "We have a recurring one of Common moonlight herbs. They grow in the Sunken Woods just east of town. The quest is for five bundles, reward is eight copper per bundle. It's not glamorous, but it's steady."
"I'll take it," I said immediately. She beamed, as if I'd just announced I'd single handedly solved world hunger.
"Wonderful! Here's the quest slip. Just bring the herbs back to me, and I'll get you your payment. Good luck, Bob!"
I took the slip, feeling the weight of my new purpose. I Bob, former data entry clerk, now F-Rank herb gatherer, was on my first official assignment. The thrill was... manageable.