Chapter 255: Muscle Showdown!!
Meanwhile, in the One Piece world — the first half of the Grand Line, Fleet Admiral's office, Marine Headquarters.
Sengoku, who had been working through a stack of administrative documents with his customary humorless efficiency, had stopped. His expression, normally a model of composed authority, had cracked into something between bewilderment and genuine alarm.
He bit down lightly on the tip of his tongue.
The mild sting confirmed he was awake.
The Dimensional Chat Group that had appeared inside his mind was not a dream. It was real. As for why it had appeared there — even the man the world called the "Buddha of Strategy" found himself at a loss.
And among the unfamiliar names in that chat window, two stood out with immediate and complete recognition.
Admiral Kizaru. Edward Newgate.
Names that resonated across every ocean — one of them his direct subordinate, the other his oldest adversary.
Marine Admiral Borsalino. Whitebeard, Yonkō of the New World.
Both of them in this chat group?
Then again — could this simply be a hallucination produced by some Devil Fruit ability? That possibility existed. Few people at Marine Headquarters would dare attempt something like this against him, but a sufficiently reckless pirate who feared nothing might try.
The more unsettling conclusion, the one Sengoku was reluctant to reach, was that this Chat Group wasn't a Devil Fruit effect at all. It was something else entirely. Something beyond the frameworks he had available.
He exhaled slowly, looked at the half-eaten bag of senbei sitting beside his documents, and murmured to himself, "Borsalino… Edward Newgate… something significant appears to be happening. Would anyone care to explain what this thing actually is?"
A soft chime sounded in his mind.
His expression shifted slightly.
The Chat Group interface materialized again, and the user called RawrSoFierce appeared to be addressing him directly.
RawrSoFierce: @Senbei Is So Tasty — Mr. Sengoku, there's a group announcement in the upper right corner. You're the Fleet Admiral — known as a strategic genius. Reading comprehension at this level shouldn't present any difficulty.
RawrSoFierce: The Chat Group has nothing to do with Devil Fruit abilities. Devil Fruits aren't particularly impressive by this group's standards.
RawrSoFierce: This is a chat group connecting multiple dimensional worlds.
RawrSoFierce: On a different note, I suddenly want to interview Kizaru. @Admiral Kizaru — your direct superior just joined the group. What are your thoughts and feelings at this time?
Admiral Kizaru: Admin-sama, please refrain from @-ing me during working hours~ This old man is currently engaged in diligent effort, contributing to the Marine cause!
Admiral Kizaru: The growth and development of the Marines requires the dedication of every individual.
RawrSoFierce: Pfft — that sounds even less convincing than Yukari.
Eternally Seventeen: Hey, hey, hey — Admin-sama, in what respect am I unconvincing? Every single word I say is completely and thoroughly reliable!
Kaguya-sama: Yukari-nee, your handle alone inspires skepticism.
My True Form Is Cola: Kizaru-ojisan's emotional state right now must be extremely complicated. He may already be drafting a written self-criticism several thousand words long.
Kaguya-sama: Pfft — a self-criticism letter, that's painfully plausible.
Kaguya-sama: Forgive me for laughing out loud hahahahaha!
Admiral Kizaru: …The waters of the New World are made entirely of this old man's tears~
Roar of the Evil Dragon: I'm not entirely sure what's happening, but I suddenly feel like Kizaru-ojisan has walked into a difficult situation.
Admiral Kizaru: Tohru, you're several tens of thousands of years older than me — calling me "ojisan" doesn't trouble your conscience at all~?
Senbei Is So Tasty: I've read through the group announcement. The contents are roughly digested. If what it describes is accurate, I have a working understanding of what this Chat Group is.
"…"
Sengoku's intelligence was not in question. Under ten minutes, and he'd processed the full two to three thousand characters of the group announcement and arrived at a preliminary working framework.
He rubbed his temples.
Then he looked again at the half-eaten senbei on his desk, and felt a wave of inexplicable embarrassment wash over him.
He had joined this remarkable interdimensional platform and chosen the handle Senbei Is So Tasty.
And several of his acquaintances were in here.
He could, technically, change his handle — once a month for free, or 100 Points otherwise, according to the announcement. He'd have done it immediately if he'd known. Buddha's Sengoku would have been considerably more appropriate for his current station.
In fairness, Sengoku's genuine personality, away from the uniform, had always been more relaxed than the public face suggested. His post-retirement conduct in the original story made that abundantly clear — gleefully watching his successor Sakazuki run ragged, taking every available opportunity to needle the new Fleet Admiral. But he wasn't retired yet. He was currently the Fleet Admiral of Marine Headquarters, and maintaining a certain gravitas was professionally relevant.
And Borsalino had seen the handle.
If Borsalino's own handle had been equally undignified, they could have been equals in embarrassment and neither could have said anything. The problem was that the yellow-skinned light-speed nuisance had apparently chosen something completely normal.
And Edward Newgate — Whitebeard — was in here too. His oldest adversary, and apparently they were now in the same group chat.
Sengoku, expression carefully blank, followed the group announcement's guidance on the @ function and used it for the first time.
Senbei Is So Tasty: @Admiral Kizaru — those requests for leave you've been submitting. Weeks at a time, nearly once a month, every month. That's because of this Chat Group, isn't it.
Senbei Is So Tasty: And how long have you been fraternizing with this old Whitebeard?
Edward Newgate: Gurararara! Sengoku, you old geezer — you're actually a few years older than me, you know. Don't you feel any shame calling me "old"?
Senbei Is So Tasty: Tch. You're a few years younger than me, so what?
Senbei Is So Tasty: According to Marine intelligence, the side effects from the Tremor-Tremor Fruit have accumulated enough internal damage in you that I might still be alive when you finally keel over.
Edward Newgate: Gurararara! Looks like you haven't fully processed the group announcement yet, Sengoku.
Edward Newgate: Old Whitebeard has been in this Chat Group for nearly a year. My abilities are nothing like they were before — the internal damage is gone, my constitution has improved beyond what it was at peak. Believe it or not, I could put you down with one hand right now.
Admiral Kizaru: W— wait! Both of you, please don't start a fight~!
Edward Newgate: Elders are speaking. Juniors stay quiet.
Senbei Is So Tasty: Elders are speaking. Juniors stay quiet.
Eternally Seventeen: Here it is! The legendary three-way standoff! And Kizaru is the wavering, caught-in-the-middle soft-lead male protagonist!
Kaguya-sama: Given the One Piece world's universal commitment to muscled physiques… this should more accurately be called a Muscle Standoff. Or perhaps a Bro Standoff.
RawrSoFierce: Pfft, Bro Standoff — solid, manual comedy gesture
Admiral Kizaru: I have absolutely no connection to anything "bro"-related, thank you~ And what is this "soft lead" classification?! Do I look soft to you?
RawrSoFierce: Compared to Whitebeard and Sengoku's respective builds, you are in fact quite svelte.
Admiral Kizaru: I… I'm speechless. Terrifying, truly terrifying…
"…"
At Marine Headquarters, Sengoku had tuned out Kizaru's response. What he was actually sitting with were Whitebeard's words — specifically the phrases abilities nothing like before and internal damage is gone. Those particular details had lodged in his attention with uncomfortable precision.
Right. The group announcement had mentioned it — Points could be used to strengthen physical constitution, eliminate Devil Fruit weaknesses, and even acquire abilities from other worlds.
If Whitebeard had been in this Chat Group for nearly a year—
The world's strongest man, on paper, already before any of this. And now apparently stronger still. Was there anyone left who could serve as a check on him? Though — and this was worth noting — Whitebeard's increased power hadn't manifested as territorial expansion. His recent behavior suggested a marked decrease in interest in the New World's political landscape.
Sengoku picked up the Den Den Mushi from his desk and called Kizaru directly.
The line connected.
He didn't give Kizaru the opportunity to speak first.
"Borsalino. You're in the building, I assume. Come to my office."
Kizaru: "…"
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