Carefully, he flipped the fish on the grill with cooking chopsticks. That day's lunch menu was traditional Japanese home cooking: plump white rice, grilled sanma, miso soup, and pickled vegetables. None of their guests would join them for lunch today, so Naoki prepared enough for three people. The other night, when talking with Kei, the teenager commented that he actually preferred traditional home dishes. Naoki then used this as an excuse for cooking today's lunch.
Usually, when there were only him and Kaname at home, Naoki always cooked simple meals. He was more passionate when there were guests who joined them for lunch and/or dinner because that meant he could cook more. Therefore, since Kei came to live with them, Naoki became more energized even though no guests were joining them for lunch or dinner. Even though people said Japanese dishes were more complicated to cook, it wasn't necessarily true. Like the menu he was preparing, for example, all were very simple and didn't take too much time to cook. As for the guests' dinner, Naoki wanted to make something simple and fast such as ebi chahan, egg drop soup, and stir-fried vegetables.
Naoki was checking the soup on the stove and skillfully incorporating the miso into it when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. He looked up for a second; it was Kei. The boy struggled a bit with the cleaning supplies and tools in both hands.
"Ah, you're done?" he asks.
Kei nodded. "Where should I put these?" He raised the tools in his hands.
Naoki pointed to a cabinet under the stairs with the cooking chopsticks in his hand. "I'm sorry you had to clean everything alone. I'd like to help, but Kaname-san would be angry."
Kei stored the cleaning supplies and everything inside the cabinet Naoki pointed. He chuckled as he closed the cabinet. "It's fine, Kikugawa-san. It would be bad if your asthma is triggered." He then went to the sink to wash his hands, then he sat on the high stool in front of the kitchen island. Naoki poured a glass of chilled tea for him, and he accepted it gratefully. "Has Tou-san returned yet?" he asked then.
"I think Kaname-san is still busy looking at furniture for your room," said Naoki while checking on the fish.
"Yeah, Tou-san sent me pictures. Everything looks great, so I get a bit undecided. Do you think I should go to him?"
"What for?" Naoki laughed. "Let him be. I'm sure he's happy and wants to do many things for you."
Kei nodded. He believed it now after that episode with his father earlier in the day. He drank his tea, watching Naoki cooking.
"Kikugawa-san, how long… have you been with Tou-san?"
The sudden question almost made Naoki drop his chopsticks. He laughed nervously as he felt warmth creeping up the back of his neck. What should he do when asked such a question by the son of your boyfriend? Naoki cleared his throat nervously. "Umh… how long… Ahahahaha. Why, why are you asking?"
"I'm just curious." Kei shrugged. He sounded nonchalant, but then the boy looked down at the glass in his hand.
Naoki turned off the grill and transferred the freshly grilled fish onto a tray. He wiped his hands on his apron, then carefully studied the teenager. "Well… I'd say it's quite long. More than ten years," he said slowly.
"You used to be schoomates too, right?" Kei asked again.
Naoki nodded. He relaxed a bit once he senses that Kei was asking not out of malice or resentment. He stood in front of the boy and smiled at him. "Kei-kun, if this is about whether Kaname-san chose you or me, all I can say is that I don't have any right to answer that."
Unexpectedly, Kei waved his hand, dismissing Naoki's words with a slightly guilty look. "No, no. I didn't mean that. I'm sorry, Kikugawa-san. I…" The teenager paused, and for a second there, Naoki thought he caught some sadness in Kei's eyes. "...I just… I was just asking. Really."
Naoki tilted his head, getting even more confused. He really thought he couldn't talk about this with Kei because it wasn't his place, but the look in Kei's eyes tugged something in his heart. Naoki felt soft, so he said gently, "Yes, we went to school together. We were never classmates though, but our parents' houses are only a block away from each other, so it's safe to say that we're more like childhood friends?"
"I see…" Kei mumbled. He then cleared his throat. "Have... Have you always liked Tou-san since back then?"
"Well, I wouldn't be friends with him if I didn't like him, would I?" Naoki said diplomatically.
Kei raised an eyebrow. Naoki laughed and scratched the tip of his nose. "Well, if you must know… How to say this? I realized I really like him when Kaname-san already moved to Tokyo. I didn't remember why exactly, that's what I felt at the time."
Kei didn't reply, listening absentmindedly. Noticing that, Naoki winced. "Sorry, I know it's uncomfortable for you to hear this."
Kei shook his head, smiling faintly. "It's fine, Kikugawa-san. I asked."
Naoki smiled back at him, then returned his focus to preparing lunch. While taking out the plates and cutlery, he heard Kei sigh a couple of times. Naoki frowned. Hm? It didn't seem like Kei was jealous about him being the closest person to Kaname? Naoki tilted his head, unsure.
Naoki decided to ask. He didn't want there to be any misunderstanding with Kaname's child. "Kei-kun–" However, his words were interrupted by the clinking sound of the bell signaling someone coming in from the front door. Thinking that it was their guests coming back, Naoki craned his neck with a smile, ready to greet them.
His smile faded as soon as the person walked in.
"Yo, Kikugawa~" Makita smiled widely at him. The smile on his face looked friendly, and anyone who didn't know him would definitely smile in return.
But not Naoki. "Makita-kun…" Naoki's lips trembled as he tried to calm down. His hands clutched the side of his pants. "What are you doing here?"
"Wow, don't be so snarky. Haven't I said that I'm observing the neighborhood?" the man said, winking at Naoki, who could only look at him, unblinking. The man smiled at Kei, who nodded out of courtesy. The boy must have thought he was a guest. The man sat down without asking.
Naoki frowned. "What do you want?"
"I heard people say that even though we're not staying here, we can still join for lunch or dinner here? I can't find any information about it at your inn's website, or in the pamphlet I saw in town. Is it true?" Makita craned his next, looking at the lunch that had yet to be served.
Naoki's hands clenched tighter, his knuckles turning white. It's fine. You can do this. You can face him. He nodded. "But only for special occasions."
"Is that so? Then, is today one of those occasions? The sanma looks delicious. You don't mind me joining you for lunch, right? You know I love your cooking, right? Kikugawa?"
Naoki got more restless. "Sorry. Today is out of the question."
"Ah, so I came at the wrong time?" Makita sighed dramatically. "Here I thought I'd be able to taste your cooking again, Kikugawa. Are you sure you don't want to be kind and let me join you?"
Naoki's body started to tremble. He struggled to answer. Unconsciously, he looked at Kei who had been watching their exchange.
"We're very sorry." Kei's voice came in and Naoki snapped back to reality. The teenager spoke in a polite tone to Makita. "Actually, we're closed for the day because we're in the middle of cleaning before the long weekend, so we can't accommodate you today. If you're looking for a good place to eat, I can show you a pamphlet of our town and give you some recommendations." Kei was also smiling politely. However, the set of eyes which resembled Kaname's were looking sharply at Makita.
Makita probably sensed something, so he waved his hand in resignation. "Fine. I get it. No need to recommend a place. I grew up here, so I know better than you, young man," he said, his tone snarky. "I'll go, then. See you later, Kikugawa."
Naoki didn't reply. He didn't even wait before Makita was completely out of the door to lower himself and crouch behind the kitchen counter. With trembling hands, he pulled out his inhaler. After inhaling a couple of times, he hugged his knees and buried his face against his knees. Naoki hated himself at the moment. Why couldn't he say anything in front of that man? After so many years, how come he still cowered in front of him?
"Kikugawa-san?" Kei's voice sounded very close. Naoki looked up slowly. Kei was already crouching in front of him, looking at him worriedly. "Are you alright?"
Naoki tried to smile. "I'm fine now," he said. He took one deep breath, feeling his chest constrict slightly. "Sorry to make you worry."
"Do you have many guests like that?" Kei gently grabbed Naoki's elbow and helped him up.
Naoki let out a low chuckle. "Occasionally," he commented. He patted Kei's hand around his elbow. "I'm fine. Thank you, Kei-kun." Even so, when Kei let go of him, Naoki still had to lean against the kitchen counter because his knees were still a bit weak. He gulped.
Knowing Makita, this wouldn't be the last time he came to pester him. Naoki needed to find a way so he wouldn't be too bothered every time that man appeared. There were Mr. Ubukata and Hideta at the supermarket the other day. Today, there was Kei. Who was he to say that there would always be someone there to help him every single time?
Get yourself together, Kikugawa Naoki.
*****