Her pace is slowing down. I have yet to know where we are heading, but I can't imagine it's a dangerous place. This is Nelly we are talking about anyway. I do have a feeling of what it could be. Somewhere quiet. Where I imagine a fresh widow is, keeping themselves together; where old people visit, before dying the next day; where children hide, their parents arguing at home. Whatever it is, the shadow of skyscrapers would not cast on it. And that makes Nelly safe.
Look around. It is still just us.
Thud.
The sound of her shoe halted on the stony ground.
That's the sign that we have arrived. We stop in front of a… a park. Small, clean, and nobody in it. Not a widow, not an old man, or a homeless person—which is strange because if I was ever homeless I'd make this my resting place. The playground lacks any children, or a sign of it has ever been used recently. This park feels abandoned.
Maybe because there's no security cameras around, none of them, not even broken or fake ones. That, in this day and age? Yeah, I wouldn't go here, either.
Not the high-schooler in front of me, though. Standing outside the place she led, watching it just be itself. I squint my eyes to where she's facing. Nothing. Just a normal park to me. Is she seeing something that I can't? Maybe. Whatever it is, I don't get it. So I end up watching Nelly instead, which is a lot more interesting and beautiful.
Then I remembered what Sohee said: what Nelly said that Saturday.
That she fell at a park before someone saved her.
This… is the park, I suppose? Though I find one thing strange.
Nelly seems calm. If I ever got drowned in a lake and survived, I wouldn't want to go to the same lake ever again. It has to do with trauma. A normal human behaviour. Yet, Nelly is here, to the place she barely survived from what she feared the most. Does she realize the place where her stalker could be is where he ever was? Did she come here to confront the guy? Or let me do it? Or is this suicide?
No.
The green in her eyes has been scouring the area.
She isn't looking for something she fears. But what she's grateful for. Of course, she used the same logic that I thought. Where a person is likely to be is somewhere they ever were. The mysterious person that saved her. But does she know who she is looking for? If she does, then I can't imagine this hero to be a man, no. A woman perhaps. Or a girl.
A girl in white hoodie…? Where am I getting this from?
Shrug.
I step forward once, "You're going in?"
"Um," her face drops, "No. It is not… necessary. I was just… looking for something."
"Someone?"
She nods. At least she now knows that her tutor remembered her story; at least that's what it seemed to her.
"Maybe she's somewhere inside? Want me to go check for a while?"
Nelly turns around… as if she just blushed and wants to hide it from me. "N, no. It's okay. I don't want to… trouble Sunbae…"
Oh, she was just being humble.
I pretend not to hear her and step inside the park.
"Sunb—"
Ignoring her, I walk around, realizing the place is a lot more unsafe than I thought. The smooth stone pathway cracked, grass growing in its gap. The trees are old and weak, it might as well fall already. The playground equipment, rusty. At least this place harbors good air thanks to being far enough from the city.
My eyes on Nelly. She is watching my expedition with… a great curiosity. Both of us had a good look at each other since the park is just that small.
"Nobody is here," I say, loud enough so she can hear. "Though I suppose after looking at this place, nobody wants to go here. Just look at this thing."
It's a swing. To test it out, I sit. The chains rattle. My feet kick the ground.
"It's not safe—"
Ting!
Shit.
Twack!
…
I push my back, groaning. What just happened? Oh right, the chain must have snapped, and my weight crashed to the ground. That fucking old swing. See, Nelly, this is not safe at all. Nelly… Nelly?
"Pft…"
Her face is already away, the brown hair covering her face; her hands help too. What she couldn't hide is her body… trembling? No, she is… giggling.
I did that… right?
I look at myself… and think how I got down here. Haha… well, it is kind of a funny sight. An adult man got hurt in a children's playground. Nothing scary about that.
I get to my feet, stretch, and walk back to my bodyguard position.
All the while, my charge tries her hardest to get herself to act normal.
"I'm… ehem," Nelly clears her throat, "I'm sorry, Sunbae."
"That you were laughing?"
"I didn't… mean to… I…"
"Nelly, it's okay. I find it funny myself."
"But… It must've hurt."
"It'd take a lot more than just falling on a swing for your Sunbae to say owch, you know?"
She twirls around as if afraid I'd get to see her face. Well, I did just say 'your Sunbae,' and that might be going too far for her out of all people. It's too early to tease her.
"Stupid… Sunbae."
"What was that?"
She shakes her head, "Let's… move."
"... yeah."
Nothing. I could say nothing else. I clearly didn't imagine it. Nelly just called me stupid… in a playful way. Something that you do with a friend. She did.
I can feel my smile creep up. It's too much to call this an improvement. My relationship with this androphobic girl is nowhere near a friend. But this. This is a sign of progress.
We move.
After our little adventure to the park, our walk back is a quiet one. Neither of us had anything to say to each other. Maybe not at this distance. Maybe not ever anymore. One can only hope.
By the time we can feel the sun crawling behind our neck, the school gate is in our sight. Nelly stops, saying, "Sunbae… thank you… but here is fine…"
'Stop following me; what if someone else saw you?' is what she wanted to say.
I only want to know one thing left:
"See you in class?"
The girl nods, trusting I see that. Then she paces away, faster.
Almost as if she's running away from me. But what can I say? After all, she is Nelly—who can't stand to be near me, who has trouble speaking to people, who is wanted by people she fears, who just yearn to feel safe at all times, who… because of me, even in the midst of darkness brewing around her, laughed even for a little while.
Nelly is off the street and protected in the school building. My bodyguard job is done for today.
Right…
The sky is navy blue, asking me: "So what now?"