Among the things in my wallet, a car license is one of the things that don't exist… and so is a condom. I had been thinking about how much easier this trip would be if we just sat on top of an engine and its tires. Turns out, I don't drive or have a car. These facts might have been brought up in the discussion; only then did Nelly agree. After all, she will die if we are to sit in a closed space (like a car) together alone. Bang her head to the window to death, not having an ounce of knowledge I didn't bring any condoms… I imagine.
Tires are overrated anyway. Instead, Nelly and I use our god-given ability that requires feet. She is content in this way: I am seven adult steps away from her, following her in an open space. Everyone is satisfied.
Thankfully she won't have any reason to look back for a while, and find out I am feeling otherwise. Each step builds a desire of me wanting to cut my foot off and sit in a wheelchair. But that would be painful—a thing that I also despise, so I had to let go of that wish.
The morning is somewhere green-cyan. My clothes that were intended to protect Nelly's psychological response to seeing me are doing lots more by keeping me warm against the cool breezes.
My eyes locked on the girl in front, hugging herself, not just because of the cold. Sometimes I let her go and scan the surroundings… finding that we are now walking through a neighbourhood. It is quiet and safe. There were no other people around. People are still sleeping in their beds. Maybe that is the reason why Nelly chose this path instead of a much quicker path to the school through the city, where people sleep on a bench for twenty minutes before going back to work.
Around 6, we'd arrive.
Until then, our footsteps do the talking.
And my mind wanders to keep me from boredom… until my eyes begin to dart around, trying to look for someone. Nelly's stalker. But he's nowhere to be found. Not yet anyway. He might still be asleep since, overall, stalking is a tiring activity. But chances are he's not. So I have to keep myself aware before anything happens to her.
Bark!
Behind.
A dog—no, a puppy. Brown and the size of Maria's backpack. Its blue leash, unman. Sprinting in my direction.
Only to pass through my legs.
Now, hopping… toward Nelly.
She might be eaten alive in this way.
I ready myself to dash forward and, if needed, kick the dog away from her—
"Io!"
—or not.
Nelly turns. Smiles on her face. The girl kneels, and the dog jumps into her embrace. Barking affectionately. Almost as if she wants to mate with her… not on my watch, you stupid furball. I'd get to do it first!
"Aiyah…"
Another voice coming from behind. This time I don't bother using my energy to turn around. And it proves to be somewhat true since the person just ran past me.
It's a woman in her mid-twenties, with a green loose long skirt, rushing to grab the leash.
Nelly gives the dog another rub before standing up to greet her with a bow.
"Miss Liu… good morning."
The woman Liu awkwardly laughs, "Nelly, I'm so sorry about this. Io is just so excited to see you. He broke my hold in an instant. If only I was still as young as you…"
"It's all good… Miss Liu, I… feel somewhat glad that Io finds me."
All of us smile… Hold on a second, why would I? I am at least five meters away from the scene. I am not at all included.
Then they begin to chat about the dog Io's growth, the school, the festival, Sohee, and then… Sohee again. And Sohee once more. Meanwhile, Nelly's hand travels all around the dog's pleasure spot.
I can only dream that one day, her hands would do the same on mine. One day after she deals with her trauma. The good thing now is she's trying.
Nothing to do for now; maybe the sky can help me pass the time.
"Nelly, do you know that man? He's been standing there all this time."
I drop my eyes, and theirs are pointing at me… in different spots. The woman is looking at my face, and Nelly's at my shoe.
The girl nods.
"Nelly, it's okay, you can tell me if he's a bad person. I am a black belt, remember?"
Shaking her head, "Miss Liu, it's fine. He's not… dangerous."
Glad to hear you say that, Nelly, but I just hope that those words came genuinely from you, and not by Sohee's endless repetition to make you believe that.
She continues, "I was the one… that asked him to follow me to school."
Miss Liu's hand flies to her mouth, "Oh, is he your bodyguard?"
"... He's my tutor."
And my heart clenches. That was wholesome, calling me 'yours' and a tutor at that, all while your green eyes are watery, your mouth sucking your lips, fingers rubbing each other… activating my desire to protect you.
Miss Liu scratches her chin, eyes on my body. "Ah, he's the one I keep hearing about…"
Have I been popping up in one of this woman's conversations? Don't tell me I'm that popular.
"Be careful, my dear, though he looks trustworthy with his handsome features," she studies me once more as she whispers, "the good-looking ones that always turned out to be something worse. Goodness, just look at my ex-husband."
The woman's mouth began to move, telling stories and stories. Luckily, it wasn't that long since she was too aware that Nelly had to go. They parted ways with a bow, and the dog had to be pulled to disappear away.
Then it is only us, again.
Nelly's body is still facing my way. Does she want to say something?
"I'm sorry… to keep you waiting, Sunbae," Nelly says with her eyes still pointing at the edge of my shoe.
"She looks nice; I'm glad to find… a lot of people care about you, Nelly."
And yet none of them appeared when you needed them the most.
"Sunbae… I want to stop by somewhere…"
"Do you mind if I am there, too?"
"It's… okay."
"Then, lead the way."
Her head bobs down.
I follow the girl who wails.