Jin's POV
Bitna, the name was starting to sound forbidden. A sweet but forbidden fruit, one I'm not supposed to have a taste from but now that I have, I don't think I can restrain from it any longer. It's been hours since she left and I can still feel her presence, her soft but intoxicating scent which was all over my bedsheets were flooding my senses. It took everything in me not to bury my face deep down into the sheets to inhale her heavenly scent. I had tried to convince myself that it was all for the mission but now, I'm not so sure.
I took a huff of the cigar lying in between my middle and index finger before puffing out the smoke. A warm feeling ran down my chest, calming me down and making me feel more in control of this foreign emotions. The thick smell of smoke filled the room blocking out the scent that has been tormenting me for hours. How pathetic.
I was heir to my father's kingdom, one he built on blood and sacrifices and here I was, completely disoriented because of a little broken girl. Just a thought of her made me uneasy. A laugh escaped me. I so wanted to hate her but I knew I couldn't.
From the time I knew she was involved with the chairman, I've watched her. At first it was for the mission but seeing her everyday endeavors . I had felt this pull to her. She reminded me of myself, the times when I was a kid, the times when I had to fight to survive. My father was never one to care about family bond or blood. If you wanted a chance, you have to fight for it. My mother had surrendered from that fight and chose the other alternative which was death. A choice I would always hate her for, because that means she was weak, weak enough to leave her son with the predators and choose to end her pathetic life by falling from the balcony of her room. The same one he now inhabited.
That decision had cost me the entirety of his childhood, her death caused a war between two mob groups. My mother was a daughter to Kim jungwon, the leader of HYEOSANG private groups and her marriage to my father had formed an alliance between the two groups. The Kim's were furious when they heard of their daughter's death and wanted me as some kind of compensation since his maternal grandfather didn't have a son and he needed a heir. My father caring more about his pride didn't want to give in to their request and a year long war ensued between the two groups which caused my little runaway to the state.
That rushed decision cost me more of my sanity. From my birth, I had learnt the hard way that being born in this world meant cruelty all the way. There shouldn't be a sign of empathy or softness. I was five when I watched my mother look me dead in the eyes seconds before she dropped from the building. Seven when I watched my father shoot my nanny and left her bleeding out on the hardwood floors because I had hugged her the night before and cried in her arms when I felt overwhelmed by the training. I was supposed to be fearless and invincible so a slight shift of emotion caused a greater punishment. I wasn't even allowed to mourn them.
Nine, when I had my first kill. A criminal my father saved from prison in exchange for his services since he was a smuggler. A little mistake of losing his cocaine shipment when he was trying to escape from the police cost him his life. My father had stood beside me, urging me to shoot him straight in the forehead. Aim was everything to my father, one loose aim can cost you your life, so when the bullet had missed his head and lodged itself in his eyes, I was punished for the mistake.
He never cared if he still lost his life to the bleeding, to him I still failed. I slept with the rats in the basement for a week straight after a brand was burnt into my back. A line for each person I killed. A way of keeping count of the lives lost by your hands. Now years later, I had the scars covered. Tatooing a phoenix in flight over it. That was my first step towards rebirth, a step into a whole new life. One where I finally embrace my fate. No weaknesses, no distractions. That's why this little fantasy with her must end. My father must never hear of this, it'll be death for her. But I wouldn't be his son if I don't defy him right. A little taste wouldn't hurt, forbidden or not.
The next day
The huge mahogany table could never seem to contain the amount of chairs surrounding it which had mobs of similar ranks sitting in it. My father had called an emergency meeting with the executives. I looked at the grandfather clock across the room and yes, I was officially late for school at 9am. I let my gaze fall on the mobs in their seat, each one had been serving CHEOSEONGDAM for years. They are all men in their mid fifties. Pathetic souls who could give up their families for power. A fact I had learned from experience. Lots of them were once sworn partners of cheongsamdong, My maternal grandfather's group. During the war between the two gangs, my father had approaches them and at first they were determined not to move. But in the time of a huge storm even the strongest trees waver.
And they did waver, changing forces for power and better money. CHEOSEONGDAM had won as HYEOSANG surrendered after their leader had been killed. Both gangs joined forces after the war since there was no heir and the most powerful executives had switched groups.
The doors flew open and my father walked in. They all stood up in respect but do I care, No. I felt his hard gaze on me clearly disagreeing with my rudeness before he took his seat at the end of the table.
He was calm, too calm and that look on my father is not good news. There isn't anyway that I'll be escaping a teaching tonight.