"Wh… what?" Emma asked. She had used her Conduit to change into Jean, wearing the same darkened glasses. She slurred every word like she was a drunk. "I… what? What is going on?"
Liron laughed, slapping his knee. After calming, they decided to test out Emma's Magic. Unlike Liron's Conduit, Emma's proved itself versatile and entertaining. No greater combat potential on face value, but she had shown what she could achieve against Trisa.
Liron leaned back onto the bench. He felt exhausted but also lighter. Talking to Emma had alleviated the dark thoughts haunting his mind. After all the fighting, he had forgotten the simple joy of laughing.
Emma giggled, dismissing her Conduit. "Not bad, right?"
Liron nodded. "Yeah, that was really good."
"Just imagine what I can do with it once I'm a Mage. Or a Master."
"Oh, so many things. You will be able to… make things look different. And, brace yourself, make things sound different."
Emma punched Liron's shoulder. "Shut up, you ass. It was me who saved us all."
Liron rubbed his shoulder. "Point taken."
They watched the sheer endless fields of Sira-Do. Nature's beauty guided by a soft hand, keeping chaos at bay while allowing Solia's children to flourish, satiating the eyes and the soul of whoever lucky enough to witness it.
"This is insane," Liron said. "Could you have ever imagined something like this?"
"No," Emma said. "I… This is… so much better than anything I had ever hoped for."
"Yeah. And to believe that we could have wasted away in Eisenrahm. Me, working myself to death in the forge, and you souring in the tannery. What a joke."
"Unlike the folk in Eisenrahm, we will become big shots, Liri. Not just some slaves for the Empire. We won't end like 'em. We won't end like…"
Emma caught herself, shutting up. While she didn't say it, Liron read his sister like an open book. He wasn't the only one with darker thoughts.
"Do you know what happened to 'em?" Liron asked.
Emma shook her head. "No… Adenius made 'em watch me all the time. But on the day of my execution, they vanished. He… he still has 'em. He will use them against us."
"Thought so," Liron said. "He's a smart bastard, I'll give him that."
"Liri… he's very dangerous. You… you have to be careful around him. Please, promise me this."
Liron took his sister's hand, squeezing it. "I swear it. As long as you are as ugly as the night is dark, I will stay true to my word."
Emma flexed her fingers, crushing Liron's hand in hers. He squealed like a pig on the way to the butcher. "Charming," she said.
Liron tickled her side, managing to free his hand. They threw a few jokes and insults at each other before both fell silent. The weight of what both had on their mind extinguished all.
But as the worries of their parent's fate darkened his mind, a story sprung alive from Liron's memories. "Em," he said, a smile warming his face, "do you remember the time pa fucked up the roof."
"Fuck, yes," she said. "A storm loosened up a plank or something."
Liron nodded. "When he tried to fix it, his foot broke through the roof. The hole was large enough to fit my head through."
Emma chuckled. "Didn't he try to blame it on the neighbor?"
"That was the best part of it. When ma found it, he claimed it was the neighbor. He said he was drunk. Ma didn't speak to him for a week."
"No, the best part was that she tried to repair it herself and worsened it."
Liron laughed. "Fuck, yes! I forgot. I never saw pa happier than when she climbed back down."
"Yeah. Remember the time she stole the needle set from the tannery?"
"Harras, yes. She looked like she killed someone."
"When they mentioned it at the tannery, she nearly threw up. She was shaking, Liri. It's unbelievable that they didn't catch her," Emma said, starting to laugh. "I mean, are they blind? She had guilt written all over her face."
Liron joined in, but his smile got dragged off his face. He summoned his knife, touching the blade. The last thing he had from them. "We didn't even have enough money to get the roof repaired. Or to buy fuckin' needles."
"Liri, please," Emma said. "I know that look. Don't drown yourself in your own thoughts. You did nothing wrong. You were simply…"
"Born? Yeah, and it caused 'em nothing but heartache."
"Don't say shit like…"
"I think they loved you more."
Emma blinked, wondering whether she had heard what Liron had said. "What?"
Liron ran his finger over his knife's edge. What a foul thing he had turned his mother's gift into. "Well, at least they should have. You were always the talented one. I… I never had much. I mean, ma and pa got worse positions in the tannery and warehouse because of me. You know that they should have been higher up. Both were good enough."
Emma didn't say anything, letting Liron speak. "I… they also argued a lot. Like, a lot. I think they did so because of me, too. Not that I was the cause behind it, but because of me they were under a lot of pressure and stress. Eisenrahm hated 'em for keepin' me. I do sometimes wonder whether they were once happy with one another. You know what I mean?"
Emma nodded. "Yeah."
"I hope so. I hope they once really loved each other. Actually scared me, you know. Watchin' 'em, I sometimes thought that's how all marriages are meant to go. At the beginning, you might like each other, but this flame fiddles out fast. And then you are left with someone you don't love. Drom's spit, someone you don't even like. But perhaps it was just because of me. The Bauers seemed happy with one another. They have what, six children? They always kissed each other. I can't remember the last time ma and pa smiled at one another. I don't know which of the two is worse."
"Did you ever want to marry?" Emma asked. "We never talked about things like that."
Liron watched his reflection in his knife's blade. For once, all was black. "I don't know. I think so, but that's like askin' me whether I want to fly like a bird. Sure, but I can't. So why think about it? Just… makes you sad. And you? Was there any boy in Eisenrahm that suited your fancy?"
Emma snorted. Thanks to the dreams, Liron's vocabulary had improved. His alter version kept his nose in books whenever he could. "Same as you. Never pondered it. I think I would like to, but all the boys in Eisenrahm were just that. Boys. They wouldn't have let me be me. Look at the fucks who raised them. How many of 'em looked at their wives as anything but somebody they can… you know, use."
"What do you mean?"
Emma wrung her fingers, feeling the callus on the fingertips of her left hand. "Back in Eisenrahm, there is little that you can become. What you see is what you can get."
"Except for joinin' the Military."
Emma rolled her eyes. "No, 'cause Eisenrahm had a graveyard. But what I'm tryin' to say is… I… didn't want to become just someone's wife. Once I marry, I will be supposed to be underneath my husband, and I don't want that. I didn't want to end up like all the folks in Eisenrahm. Harras, I didn't want to end up like… like 'em."
"Like ma and pa?"
"Yeah. Fuck, that's a shitty thing to say, right?"
"A bit. But… I get it. I… I didn't want to end up like pa, and you didn't want to end up like ma, right?"
Emma nodded. "I loved her. Liri, you have to believe me. I really loved her, but when I saw her… that wasn't a life I wanted to have. Hah, you know, when you say you think they didn't love you… what am I supposed to say? These last months after we turned fourteen, ma treated me so… harshly."
"She loved you, Emma. More than anything else. That's why she was so hard on you. She wanted to make sure you had a decent life ahead of you. A better one than hers."
Emma remained silent, watching her hands. Liron took them in his, forcing Emma to look up at him. "Em, listen to me. She did love you. That I promise you. I think… the two of you were too similar. Too stubborn sometimes. But also, too dedicated. She wanted nothing more than you havin' a good life, and you wanted to fuck off. Those two are meant to clash."
Emma let out a breath, tearing up. "I hope so. It… still feels like she liked you more. She was always makin' sure you're good when she didn't do the same for me. Often, I felt like I wasn't even there."
"I… I didn't know that. Em… I'm sorry."
Drying her tears before they could fall, Emma shook her head. "It's all good. I could have said something. That's my biggest regret. That… I never told her that… I felt like that. But also… that I loved her. I wished we were closer. But now she's gone, and I am left to wonder."