Chapter 68 — A Subtle Kind of Sorrow
"Really?"
Everyone in the living room turned around.
Penny and Missy were standing side by side at the doorway—clearly they had heard Sheldon's last sentence.
Penny stood with her hands loosely folded in front of her stomach, fingers lightly tapping together. The corners of her mouth twitched as she tried to suppress a laugh. She looked exactly like someone enjoying a show but politely choosing not to comment.
Missy, on the other hand, had her arms crossed and her chin slightly raised. A faint smile curled at the corner of her lips.
Her sharp eyes locked directly onto Sheldon, silently saying: I'm waiting for an explanation.
Unhurriedly, Missy spoke.
"So… a single slice of cheese is all it takes to sell me off? Shelly, we need to talk."
With that, she strode forward, grabbed Sheldon by the arm, and began dragging him toward his bedroom without giving him any chance to object.
Sheldon struggled.
"Wait! I haven't finished outlining the conditions! Considering genetic factors, her dating partner must also pass a basic physics test—"
Bang!
The bedroom door slammed shut mercilessly, cutting off Sheldon's protests.
The living room fell into dead silence.
Penny stepped forward with her arms crossed, her gaze sweeping across the three men in the room like a searchlight.
None of them dared meet her eyes.
Her warm smile slowly turned toward Leonard.
Leonard looked like he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him. He stammered desperately:
"Penny, I—we—you know… sometimes men just… do stupid things. Collective stupidity. Maybe we could… change the subject?"
Penny simply shook her head with a knowing smile.
She didn't need to say anything. The meaning was obvious.
Ethan walked over to the couch and sat down, rubbing his forehead, feeling both amused and helpless watching the scene unfold.
A few minutes later, muffled voices could be heard coming from Sheldon's bedroom.
The words were indistinct, but Missy's tone clearly wasn't calm, while Sheldon's voice carried his usual stubborn attempt to explain everything with logic.
Then—
"AAAHHH!!!"
A sharp, miserable scream burst through the door.
Without a doubt, it belonged to Sheldon.
The bedroom door slowly opened.
Sheldon shuffled out in an extremely awkward posture, clutching his lower body. His face twisted with pain as he staggered into the living room and leaned against the wall.
Ethan watched him with deep sympathy.
He could practically feel the sorrow written across Sheldon's face.
That particular kind of sorrow.
A sorrow centered around a man's… delicate region.
Missy followed behind him, her expression already relaxed again. She clapped her hands lightly, as if she had just dealt with a cockroach.
She looked around at the stunned crowd and finally turned her gaze to Sheldon, who was still protecting the vital area.
With a sweet smile, she said:
"Well then, problem solved! Right, Shelly?"
Sheldon nodded weakly.
"I… hereby officially declare that whoever Missy chooses to date has absolutely nothing to do with me."
…
Once Sheldon removed his "restrictions," the three men descended into total chaos.
They began drafting strategies, drawing lots, rehearsing their speeches, and eventually selecting a "winner" to take turns confessing their feelings to Missy—who was currently hiding out at Penny's apartment.
The results were completely predictable.
Total annihilation.
Not only were they rejected, but their wounded pride was carefully packaged and returned to them in perfect condition.
Missy's flight back to Texas was scheduled for Sunday afternoon. Ethan and Sheldon walked her out together to see her off.
Missy had already changed out of her formal dress. She wore a blue-purple camisole with peacock-feather patterns on top—bright and eye-catching—paired with light blue jeans that gave her an energetic, youthful look.
Slipping her backpack over one shoulder, she asked,
"Shelly, is there anything you want me to tell Mom?"
Sheldon answered seriously, "She might want to know that my research focus has shifted from bosonic string theory to heterotic string theory."
Ethan added, "Tell her I said hello."
Missy nodded lightly. "Okay. I'll tell her both of you send your regards."
The three of them walked to the door.
Sheldon took a deep breath and extended his hand.
"It was good seeing you—except for the incident involving my testicles."
Missy tilted her head, then opened her arms.
"Come here, Shelly."
She stepped forward and hugged him.
Sheldon froze for several seconds like a computer that had suddenly crashed. Eventually, he awkwardly returned the hug.
Then Missy turned to Ethan.
They exchanged a look and embraced naturally.
"I'll miss you, Ethan."
"Me too."
Missy stepped back a couple of steps and said with a playful smile,
"I want you both to know—I brag about you guys to my friends all the time."
Ethan simply smiled without replying.
Sheldon asked seriously, "Really?"
Missy nodded. "Of course! My friends all know that my neighbor is a surgeon, and my brother is a rocket scientist."
"You tell people I'm a rocket scientist?" Sheldon's eyes widened. "I'm a theoretical physicist."
Missy looked innocent. "What's the difference?"
Sheldon's voice immediately shot up several octaves.
"What's the difference?!"
Missy patted him on the shoulder and waved to Ethan.
"I'm leaving, Shelly! Bye, Ethan!"
Sheldon grumbled indignantly,
"Why don't you just tell them I'm a toll booth operator while you're at it? 'Rocket scientist.' What an insult…"
Missy stepped outside. A taxi was already waiting, the driver gesturing for her to come over.
Just before getting in, she turned around and shouted:
"Love you guys! And especially my brilliant rocket-engineer brother!"
The door shut quickly, the taxi lights flickered on, and the car pulled away.
---
Back Upstairs
On the way back to the apartment, Sheldon continued muttering about the insult.
Then suddenly he remembered something.
"Wait… that kick earlier wouldn't affect my reproductive ability, would it?"
Ethan looked at him and patted his shoulder.
"No. Don't worry."
Sheldon turned toward him with unusual seriousness.
"Ethan, you're responsible for my health. Shouldn't you perform a medical examination?"
Ethan coughed lightly and waved a hand.
"Sheldon, relax. I've actually been reading some literature about the male reproductive system recently."
Sheldon immediately perked up, listening carefully as Ethan explained in a very professional tone:
"Theoretically speaking, mild external force within safe limits can trigger the body's compensatory mechanisms. In the short term, it increases local blood flow and accelerates tissue repair."
"Some studies even speculate that this type of stimulus may improve temperature regulation sensitivity in the reproductive glands, potentially increasing the activity of spermatogonia."
He paused, then concluded calmly:
"In other words… from a physiological standpoint, Missy's kick may not have been a bad thing."
Sheldon narrowed his eyes.
"What evidence do you have?"
Ethan thought for a moment and asked seriously,
"Think about it carefully. This wasn't the first time you experienced something like this."
"Doesn't it feel like you recovered faster this time than before?"
Sheldon considered for two seconds, speaking cautiously—yet with a hint of surprise.
"…That does seem to be the case."
After a moment of silence, Sheldon nodded thoughtfully.
"I see! So Missy and Paige unintentionally contributed to my physiological optimization?"
Ethan kept a straight face.
"That's one way to interpret it."
Sheldon exhaled in relief, a relaxed expression finally appearing on his face.
"Then I suppose I should thank them."