If the Watson mansion was a fortress before, it was now something else entirely. As Jay-jay stepped out of her bedroom, she didn't hear the usual click of her heels on the polished marble. Instead, there was a muffled thwip-thwip-thwip sound.
She looked down. The entire hallway was covered in four-inch thick, hospital-grade foam padding.
"Keifer?" Jay-jay called out, her voice sounding weirdly flat because the walls were now also covered in acoustic dampening panels—"just in case the babies have sensitive ears," Keifer had explained earlier that morning.
"Don't move!" Keifer's voice boomed from the end of the hall.
Jay-jay froze. Suddenly, a grid of glowing red laser beams flickered to life three inches in front of her nose.
"Mark Keifer Watson," Jay-jay said, her eyes narrowing. "Explain. Now."
Keifer stepped out from around the corner, holding a tablet and looking like he hadn't slept since the names Keira and Jayden were finalized. "The motion sensors were too slow. These are Class 3 security lasers calibrated to detect any foreign object—including dust mites—that might enter the perimeter of the nursery
In the living room, the rest of the boys were struggling to adapt to the "New Watson Order."
Ci-N was currently bouncing off the walls—literally. Since every sharp corner of every table, chair, and pillar had been encased in oversized, bright yellow pool noodles, he was using the living room as a human pinball machine
"Wheee! I'm invincible!" Ci-N yelled, throwing himself against a marble pillar that was now as soft as a marshmallow.
"I can't even open my laptop," David groaned. He was sitting on a sofa that had been wrapped in so much plastic and padding that he was slowly sinking into the middle of it. "Keifer installed a bio-metric lock on the Wi-Fi. It only turns on if the air quality index is at 100%."
Felix was staring at the kitchen entrance. A massive, industrial-grade steel gate—the kind you see at jewelry stores in the mall—had been installed.
"He says the kitchen is a 'high-risk zone' because of the knives," Felix said, rubbing his temples. "I had to ask him for a security clearance code just to get a glass of water."
Josh walked in carrying a bag of decorations for the baby shower they were supposed to be planning. "Hey guys, I got the—"
BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!
A siren started blaring. A hidden vent in the ceiling opened, and a mist of lavender-scented sanitizer sprayed Josh from head to toe.
"Intruder sanitized," a robotic voice announced.
"MY HAIR!" Josh wailed, dropping the blue and pink streamers. "Keifer, I just styled this!"
Keifer walked into the room, completely unfazed. "You were carrying outside pathogens, Josh. The twins cannot be exposed to the germs of a public mall."
Jay-jay finally made it downstairs, having navigated the laser grid by crawling under it. She stood in the middle of the padded, gated, laser-protected room and looked at her husband.
"Keifer" she said softly, walking over to him. She had to step over a "Tactical Diaper Changing Station" that looked like it belonged in a NASA laboratory. "I love that you want to protect Keira and Jayden. I really do."
Keifer looked at her, his eyes intense. "They are Watsons, Jay-jay. The world is dangerous."
"The world is dangerous," she agreed, placing a hand on his cheek. "But our kids are going to be born into a house full of the strongest, craziest, and most protective 'uncles' in the world. They don't need lasers. They have Section E."
Keifer looked around the room. Ci-N was still bouncing off the pillars, Felix was trying to hack the kitchen gate, and Josh was drying his hair with a baby blanket.
For the first time in three days, Keifer's shoulders dropped. He looked at the tablet in his hand and sighed, swiping the "Deactivate All" button. The lasers vanished. The sirens stopped
"The padding stays, though," Keifer muttered, though he was smiling slightly. "Ci-N is clearly enjoying it too much."
"Fine," Jay-jay laughed, leaning her head on his shoulder. "The padding stays. But the kitchen gate has to go. I want a snack."
"Access granted, Mutya," Keifer whispered, kissing her forehead.