When Mark and I finally went inside, we stood side by side awkwardly and I looked around trying to find something to make a topic out of. "So…" Mark and I said in sync, making us look at each other. These cheeks of mine are so warm right now! Mark cleared his throat, looked away and placed both his hands behind his back. Then I remembered, "The blanket!" I said then I removed the blanket on me.
I gently pulled Mark's long sleeve to make him look at me. "Thank you for the blanket. Your presence and the blanket made my cold night warm."Did I just say that!? Don't tell me I just said that! Then I saw Mark look at me but no reaction. I did just say it! Oh, no! And because of embarrassment, I pushed the blanket towards him and ran for my life to the bedroom.
As soon as I went inside and closed the door, I saw Tabitha lying down on the bed and only the lampshade on the bedside table between our beds was lit. I think she's already asleep. I better not wake her up. And so I catched my breath while my back leaned on the door. Then I walked towards the chair where I hung Mark's coat… Why did I walk towards the coat instead of the bed!? I just met the guy!
And then I walked towards the bed but before I lay myself down on the bed, I looked back at the coat one more time, sighed, and laid down on the bed. Oh, Yeshua… I know that You can hear my thoughts. What should I do? I want to focus on You only, Yeshua. It's been a long time since I got lost from Your flock. I sighed again as I stared at the ceiling.
I don't want to be the blockage of another from focusing on You. Am I complicating things even though nothing has ever begun? Oh, Yeshua… I do hope that I don't make things awkward between us. Also! He is older than me. I'm sure he only sees me as a younger sibling. Not even a sibling! We don't personally know each other! Okay, I don't even know anything about him but he clearly knows anything that is to know about me!
I sighed again. Sat up, and looked at Mark's coat. Oh, help me Lord! And I laid down again. I should be thinking about where I can buy a Bible! I definitely need it! I then laid down by my side and hugged my blanket. Then my eyes looked at Mark's coat again. And so I turned to the other side and hugged my blanket.
"Take it." I sighed, sat up on the bed then looked at Mark's coat on the chair again. "The Holy Spirit said to 'take it' and so I'm gonna 'take it'," I whispered to myself as I got up from the bed and walked towards the chair where I hung Mark's coat. "Oh, Yeshua… I don't know what I'm doing right now nor even understand it. But I trust that You'll guide me with the help of the Holy Spirit," I whispered as I took the coat and walked back to the bed.
"And trusting You is enough." I whispered again then I looked at the coat and decided to wear it. A little bit cold now but still comfy. Then I laid down on the bed, tucked myself under the blanket, and my mind was quiet.
I don't know how but I feel reassured wearing Mark's coat. Then I remembered Tabitha told me to smell it to know. I was still a little bit hesitant but, in the end, I smelled it. Oh, he smells good! Then I imagined Yeshua chuckling, making me stop smelling the coat. What just happened? Am I going crazy again?