"Petra, I wanted to fuck you so badly."
Petra did not know what had come over her.
Because after Rafah looked at her mouth and said those words, they barely exchanged a few more sentences before they started kissing again.
This time, Rafah deliberately caught Petra's lower lip lightly between her teeth, alternating the bite with soft, soothing kisses. But a heartbeat later, she bit the same spot again, repeating the sensation over and over, as if she wanted to confuse Petra and drown her in this game of desire, a game Rafah controlled completely.
By the time Petra realized what was happening, they had ended up on the bed, both of them half-naked, their clothes stripped off along the way, one piece, then another.
Rafah was left in nothing but an unbuttoned shirt, a black bra underneath, and a tiny pair of panties. Petra, meanwhile, had only her bra left on, her lower body completely bare.
Now, Rafah was straddling her, one hand gripping a long, muted-colored scarf she had taken a moment to dig out of the small wardrobe in the room.
"Let me tie your hands, okay?"
Rafah whispered beside Petra's ear. That low voice made Petra's pulse stutter. She lifted her eyes to meet Rafah's, and Rafah's beautiful face made her heart pound wildly.
Petra knew very well that she was stepping into a world where Rafah would be the one in complete control of her body. Just thinking about what that scarf would be used for made Petra feel both excited and breathless with anticipation.
In truth, Petra had never imagined she would let anyone control her body to this extent. And yet Rafah had awakened a side of her she had never known existed.
Maybe...
She was the kind of person who liked playing with fire without even realizing it.
It might hurt a little.
But what was so wrong with letting herself burn just once?
Petra parted her lips slightly under the force of her desire. Without hesitation, she nodded in answer to Rafah's request.
That alone was enough for Rafah to give her next command.
"Raise your hands above your head."
The command seemed to cast a spell over Petra. Rafah, in this moment, was so commanding and magnetic that Petra could not take her eyes off her for even a second.
Petra could feel the raw desire pouring from that voice and those beautiful eyes. She obeyed easily, as if she had become nothing more than Rafah's private toy, ready to offer her body for Rafah to enjoy.
The scarf was wrapped around both wrists, binding them above her head.
"Tied up like this... you look even more fuckable."
Rafah's arousing words dragged Petra down into a new kind of thrill she had never experienced before.
Her thoughts drifted away.
The only things she could register were the sound of Rafah's breathing and the touch of her lips and teeth as she sucked, nipped, and bit lightly, leaving bruised red marks across Petra's skin.
The last bra Petra still had on was stripped away without mercy. The faint pain from being bitten on her pale shoulder only made the hunger inside her burn hotter.
Petra let out a low moan in her throat. She had never expected that having her hands pinned above her head like this would make every touch feel twice as intense.
Then Rafah seemed to tease her on purpose. She twisted and kneaded one deep-pink nipple with her hand while sucking hard on the other, making Petra jolt and writhe from the pleasure.
"Ah... Khun Rafah..."
Petra twisted beneath her, as if trying to struggle away. But her bound hands above her head were held firmly in place by Rafah's hand, while Rafah used the weight of her body to press down on her, as if refusing to let her escape.
It was torture.
And it was unbearably arousing.
Once Rafah had played with Petra's body to her satisfaction, she changed her target. Her touch slid slowly over Petra's stomach before gradually moving lower, toward the slick heat between her thighs.
"You look so needy right now, you know that?"
The low, hoarse whisper beside her ear sent a hard shiver through Petra. Rafah knelt over Petra's body, then removed the last piece of clothing still on her own body: her black bra. After that, she held Petra's hips and tilted them toward her, grinding her own wet center against Petra's until the slick, obscene sound between them became unmistakable.
Petra cried out the moment their bare flesh touched. At first, Rafah moved her hips against Petra slowly, but when she heard Petra's breathless moans, Rafah began grinding harder and faster.
"Do you like it... being fucked while you're tied up like this? You can't move away, can you?"
Rafah's low whisper brushed almost directly against her ear. Petra squeezed her eyes shut, her heart pounding so hard it felt like it might burst. Rafah was so good at saying filthy things during sex that Petra had no idea what words could even describe it.
"Yes... I like it..."
Rafah leaned down even closer.
"If you like it... say it louder."
"Mm... I like it... yes..."
Petra tried to make her voice louder, but what came out was only a breathless moan wrung from her by desire. She felt as if she were being forced to expose the deepest part of herself in front of someone who held complete power over her.
And it seemed that faint answer still did not satisfy Rafah.
"I can't hear you. Louder."
Rafah said it in an ice-cold voice. As she spoke, she deliberately ground her hips harder. A sly smile appeared on that beautiful face. The pressure that followed felt like a command for Petra to answer here, answer now.
Petra cried out almost immediately.
"Mm... I like it... I like it so much."
Rafah looked at Petra with clear satisfaction. She quickened the rhythm of her hips, grinding their sensitive centers together harder, while one hand came down in a sharp slap against Petra's hip. Petra jolted, a strange new pleasure flashing through her.
It hurt, but not too much.
And yet it felt as if it had switched on something inside her that she had never known existed.
"Say it louder, Petra. Let me know how much you like being mine."
Both Rafah's actions and her words sent pleasure surging through Petra's entire body. Her body twisted helplessly to the rhythm Rafah set. The sensitive flesh between her legs was rubbed again and again until she trembled all over. She no longer had enough sense left to think about anything else. Her body moved under Rafah's lead like a puppet controlled with every motion.
Whatever Rafah wanted her to do now, Petra would give her everything.
"Ah... I like being yours, Khun Rafah... ah, I want you to fuck me hard like this every night."
That raw confession slipped from the deepest part of her desire. It was because of lust, because of heat, because no one had ever made her feel this much except Rafah. In this moment, Petra was lost in it, surrendering completely under Rafah's power and control.
Rafah was deeply pleased. She caught Petra's chin and forced Petra to lift her face and look straight at her.
"I love seeing you like this," she whispered. "It turns me on."
Rafah said it to Petra with a cold smile before increasing the speed of her hips. The wet sound from their lower bodies rubbing together was shamelessly obscene.
Petra felt as if her body were floating away, sinking into a deep whirlpool of desire. She moaned hoarsely with pleasure, ragged sounds spilling from her throat. Her breathing came fast and broken. Her bound wrists trembled, and her hips arched into Rafah's touch without control.
"Khun Rafah... I... I'm so close...!"
And in that instant...
Rafah reached out and wrapped her hand around Petra's throat.
Her fingers pressed against the sides of Petra's neck, tightening little by little while her hips ground against Petra even faster.
Petra went rigid in that moment. She knew what Rafah was playing with now. The pressure of Rafah's hand against her throat made it slightly harder to breathe, but instead of fear, excitement and pleasure surged even higher through her body.
Their bodies continued grinding against each other. Rafah let out a low moan of satisfaction. The pleasure in her lower body, combined with the feeling of being in control, stirred the raw instinct of a predator inside her and made her arousal flare violently.
Rafah tightened her grip just a little more.
"Come with me..."
At the final moment, Rafah moved against Petra without holding back. Their heated centers rubbed together with rough, relentless friction, while her hand remained pressed around the sides of Petra's throat, driving the pleasure to its peak.
Petra clenched hard inside as she released with her whole body. Not long after that, Rafah moved against her a few more times before following her over the edge. The hand gripping the sides of Petra's throat immediately began to loosen.
Their ragged breathing mingled with the furious pounding of their hearts. Their bodies remained pressed tightly together.
Rafah slowly untied the scarf binding Petra's wrists, then bent down and kissed her forehead softly before holding her in a loose embrace.
"Rest for a bit. Then we'll shower together."
...
The next morning, sunlight spilled through the curtains into the bedroom. Petra shifted slowly before opening her eyes. As soon as her awareness began to return, she felt the ache spreading through her entire body. Her limbs were drained, as if she had just gone through an intense workout.
But she had to admit it. Last night, she and Rafah had gone hard.
It had not been ordinary lovemaking. It had been a fierce, intoxicating lesson in the shadow of BDSM. It was a battle of desire that lasted nearly the entire night. Even when Petra thought she would finally get a moment to breathe, Rafah had taken her into the bathroom for another round until her legs had almost given out.
Petra lifted a hand to cover a small yawn, then turned to the other side of the bed.
But it was empty.
The sheet beside her was slightly rumpled, as if someone had only recently gotten up.
She froze, glanced around the room, and called Rafah's name in a soft voice.
"Khun Rafah..."
There was no answer.
Petra had no idea where Rafah had gone. She quickly rose from the bed, but the heavy soreness at the center of her body made her stagger slightly. She had not been with anyone in a long time, not since she had broken up with her last girlfriend.
And last night, Rafah had shown her no mercy at all...
Petra grabbed a thin robe and put it on before leaving the bedroom to look for her. The faint scent of the sea drifted in, along with the sound of waves carried by the wind. She walked all the way to the balcony, then stopped at the sight in front of her.
Rafah was sitting on a small metal chair beside a wooden table, a cigarette held between her slender fingers. Thin gray smoke curled through the air before the sea breeze swept it away almost at once.
Petra stood still for a moment.
This was not what she had imagined at all. Last night, the two of them had just shared a wild, feverish night that went on for several rounds. But when morning came, Rafah was sitting alone, smoking a cigarette. It was so far removed from the romantic image of a couple that Petra had once dreamed of.
The sound of Petra's footsteps drew Rafah's attention away from whatever she had been staring at. She turned back, then calmly pressed the cigarette, still more than half left, into the ashtray.
"You're awake... Does the smoke bother you?"
"No. You can finish it. I'll go wait inside."
Petra was about to turn away.
But Rafah's calm voice held her back.
"No. I've had enough."
Rafah rose to her full height and walked straight toward Petra.
"Let's go inside. I'll make you something to eat."
After they returned to the small house, the atmosphere between them was still threaded with something difficult to name.
Rafah offered to take care of breakfast, just coffee and toast, so Petra could have some time to herself. Petra took the chance to step away and shower, or more accurately, she needed a moment alone.
Inside the bathroom, the door closed with a soft click, followed by the robe slipping from her body and pooling on the floor. Petra stood still in front of her reflection in the mirror.
The marks Rafah had left on her from last night's rough lovemaking appeared as dark red bruises scattered across the swell of her breasts and along her neck.
Petra touched them lightly with her fingertips, then let her gaze travel over her body in careful detail. A faint irritation began to build inside her when she thought about the time she would have to waste covering these marks with foundation. No matter how carefully she tried to hide them, Petra knew she would still feel uneasy beneath other people's eyes.
She admitted that, deep down, she was confused by how far she had allowed Rafah to go with her. If it had been anyone else, she would never have let something like this happen.
And yet, at the same time, she could not deny that she had liked it.
Perhaps it was because last night, she had seen Rafah's weak and fragile side. Perhaps it was because Rafah no longer felt as dangerous as Petra had once believed. That was why she had trusted her so easily and placed her heart in Rafah's hands without resistance.
She had given in...
Even though she had no idea where this relationship was heading.
Yes... she had had sex with Rafah.
Even when there was still no real status between them.
It contradicted everything she thought she knew about herself. Compared to the first day, when she had built walls to keep Rafah out, those walls had now collapsed. And last night, Petra had been the one to step over the ruins first, reaching for Rafah on her own.
Then what came after this?
What would her relationship with Rafah become?
Would Rafah think she was easy?
Petra had no idea whether Rafah saw her as nothing more than a temporary plaything, or whether she truly wanted something serious, as she had once said. That worry was slowly eating away at her heart, and if neither of them made things clear, it might turn into a much deeper wound.
After getting herself ready...
Petra made her way out to the living room and sank down onto the sofa, letting her long, dark brown hair, still damp from the shower, fall against her shoulders.
Not long after, Rafah walked out of the kitchen with the faint aroma of toast and two cups of coffee in her hands. She silently handed one of them to Petra.
"Thank you."
Petra accepted the cup and held it between her palms. The warmth from the ceramic seeped into her hands, easing some of the chill. Yet the silence that settled over the room only made everything between them feel even more uncomfortable. They both sat there for a long while, sipping coffee without saying anything.
Until Rafah spoke first.
"I messaged the staff at the center. They'll probably come pick us up in a golf cart later this morning."
Petra gave a small nod.
"Okay."
Then the silence settled in again...
Petra's mind was filled with the same questions, circling over and over. She desperately wanted to know what Rafah planned to do about their relationship from here. It was true that Rafah had once asked her to be her girlfriend, and back then, Petra had been the one to turn her down. But the situation now was different. She and Rafah had already crossed into something far more intimate.
Rafah might already be satisfied now that she had gotten what she wanted from her, and that could be the end of it.
Even though, deep down, Petra believed Rafah was not that shallow, the more she wanted to ask, the heavier her tongue felt. The fear that the answer might destroy the tender feelings that had only just begun to form made her too afraid to risk it.
In the end, the conversation Petra chose to start was about cigarettes.
"I didn't know you smoked."
Rafah glanced at her briefly before answering in an even voice. "Only once in a while. I'm not addicted or anything. I only smoke when I have something on my mind."
Petra looked at Rafah. Her expression shifted only slightly.
"Sounds like something pretty serious," she said, a faint edge of sarcasm in her tone. "Serious enough to need nicotine."
Even though she said it like that...
Deep down, what Petra really wanted was to shout the question straight into Rafah's face. Had last night stressed her out so much that she had to escape outside and rely on cigarettes? Because honestly, even if Petra had been the one who started it last night, the person who had pursued her, cornered her, and taken pleasure from her body with the most insatiable hunger had been Rafah herself, hadn't it?
"No. It's not that serious."
Rafah answered that way, even though her eyes still would not leave the faint red marks on Petra's graceful neck. Marks of possession, left by her own hands. And the truth inside her heart was entirely different from the answer she had just given.
It was true that Rafah was not addicted to cigarettes, and as someone living with depression, she knew very well that she should avoid them.
But every time anxiety came crashing down on her, nicotine seemed to become the only thing she could hold on to.
And the source of the storm inside Rafah right now was Petra.
Rafah could not predict what Petra thought or felt after the heated night they had shared. Maybe, for Petra, it had only been curiosity. A new experience with a sexual preference she had never explored before.
And what about the rough, instinct-driven sex of someone who liked control?
The real self Petra had seen last night, had it frightened her? Had it made her recoil?
Even though they had talked and agreed before anything began, now that it was over...
Was Petra still okay with it?
These were questions that had never once entered Rafah's mind before. Usually, whether it was a friends-with-benefits arrangement or a one-night stand, once the sex was over, they simply went their separate ways. Or at most, Rafah would pay the other person generously enough to make it worth their while. She barely cared about their feelings at all.
Even allowing someone into her own bedroom was something Rafah had never considered doing. She had never made love with feelings involved. She did not even care enough to kiss someone before sex.
Who gave a damn how anyone felt?
The only thing she cared about was that the other person had to give full, willing consent so she could take pleasure from that body and have her fun with whatever she wanted to do until she was satisfied.
That was all.
But with Petra...
Everything was different.
Rafah had once thought of herself as a skilled predator in the guise of an angelic conservationist. Yet now, she was sitting here restless and uneasy, not even daring to ask Petra directly how she had felt about last night. In the end, the conversation that should have gone straight to the heart of the matter remained trapped around the subject of cigarettes, just as before.
"You don't like people who smoke?"
Petra frowned slightly.
"How did you know?"
"Your face told me the moment you saw me smoking."
Petra went still for a moment before nodding with blunt honesty.
"Yeah. I don't really like it. Smoking doesn't just hurt your own health. Secondhand smoke hurts other people too. I guess I've just never understood why people smoke at all, whether it's regular cigarettes or e-cigarettes."
Rafah swallowed with difficulty.
"If you don't like it... I won't smoke anymore."
Petra's eyes widened at once.
"Khun Rafah, I only said I don't like it. I'm not telling you to quit. It's your life, your body. What right do I have to decide that?"
But that explanation did not seem to matter much to Rafah.
"It's fine. I mean... I was planning to quit anyway."
The sentence sounded ordinary.
But for Rafah, it was an indirect way of telling Petra that she was willing to stop anything Petra disliked.
She simply could not bring herself to say it plainly.
Silence returned between them once again.
This time, however, the atmosphere seemed to loosen. Petra gave a faint smile. She understood the meaning hidden inside Rafah's words.
And when Rafah saw that smile, the wall of fear inside her collapsed.
At last, Rafah dared to ask the question that had been weighing on her mind all morning.
.
.
"Petra... how did you feel about last night?"
Hojicha Writer
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