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As a mouthful of bitter, amber-colored medicinal wine went down her throat, Yukari Yakumo looked as if she were absolutely determined to drink Eientei into bankruptcy, even if she couldn't beat them in a fight.
She sat slumped at the large wooden banquet table. With a crystal glass clutched in her left hand and a half-eaten skewer in her right, she drank and ate with complete, reckless abandon, showing absolutely no concern for her usually carefully maintained image of a mysterious, elegant Sage.
"Strong liquor is good, but don't overindulge."
Seeing that half the expensive bottle of customized medicinal wine she had brought had already been downed by Yukari, Eirin Yagokoro frowned and pressed her palm firmly down on Yukari's glass. Why was a perfectly healthy Great Youkai fighting over medicine meant for someone with severe kidney deficiency? This was all brought specifically to treat the little brother's failing stamina.
(Leo, who was currently cheerfully grilling fish and had absolutely no idea that in Eirin's professional medical opinion he was a dead man walking with chronic kidney deficiency: "That's really not necessary, I'm perfectly healthy!!")
"Gulp, gulp, gulp... Ran! My little Ran! My Ran-chan who can warm my bed, warm my feet, and do all the tedious paperwork! My Great Fox!"
Having had a bit too much to drink, Yukari began to dramatically act out. She wailed like Kudo Shinichi in some trashy Tomato-site fanfiction when the edgy protagonist brutally breaks up his pairing with Conan. She cried, shouted, and flailed her arms, desperately trying to attract Ran's attention from across the clearing.
However, at this exact moment, Ran was standing shoulder-to-shoulder beside Leo. She was entirely surrounded by a buzzing group of Little Fairies who absolutely loved shipping new couples. She was diligently washing fresh fruit to help Leo make juice and had no time—or desire—to notice Yukari's embarrassing drunken antics.
"Alright, that's enough. It's fine to fool your sisters, but don't go fooling yourself."
Yuuka Kazami frowned deeply, her crimson eyes flashing dangerously as she watched Yukari throw a tantrum like a spoiled child. The heavy plate of sweet Rice Flower Balls on the table had been shaken by Yukari's flailing, spilling several of the delicate treats into the dirt.
Yuuka immediately gave Yukari a terrifying death stare; the Flower Master actually quite liked these Rice Flower Balls. They were sweet, crunchy, and delicious.
(I wonder if everyone saw puffed rice being made when they were kids. In the old days, you'd bring your own raw rice and sugar to the street vendor, pay a five-yuan processing fee, and they'd pour the rice into a heavy, sealed, cannon-like iron cylinder to be heated over an open coal fire. Meanwhile, white sugar would be boiled into a thick, sticky syrup in a separate pan. Once everything was ready and the pressure peaked, a long, blackened net bag would be placed over the mouth of the cylinder. With a sharp pull of the release valve—BOOM!—accompanied by a deafening noise and a massive cloud of sweet white smoke, a bag of perfectly puffed rice was made.
It would be poured into a wooden mold, drizzled with the thin, boiling syrup, stirred constantly to ensure even coating, and then pressed firmly down with a wooden block. After cooling and being cut into squares, it became Puffed Rice Cakes).
Leo didn't have an antique, high-pressure puffing machine on the farm, but it wasn't actually hard to make a rustic version. It could be done simply by stir-frying. This afternoon, besides gutting and marinating the catfish, he had spent the rest of his prep time doing exactly this. Rice Flower Balls were a nostalgic, sugary snack liked by everyone, young and old, so Leo had made a massive batch.
He had asked his chosen, highly-paid worker, Miss Kagerou Imaizumi, to take a fine-mesh strainer down to the Beach and dig up a large, heavy bag of clean ocean sand to pour into his largest iron wok. Once the sand was scorching hot over the fire, he added the raw rice and stirred constantly with a wooden spatula. Before long, the intense, even heat caused the translucent rice grains to pop and expand into fluffy white puffed rice. This traditional "hot sand" method could be used to fry more than just rice; chestnuts, flatbreads, dried corn—anything could be cooked evenly this way. It was truly a primitive food amplifier.
(Note: Children with strange ideas shouldn't try this at home; you'll end up getting cooked).
After using the strainer to filter out the scorching sand, Leo drizzled on the warm, golden syrup. He split a piece of fresh green bamboo, pressed the sticky mixture into a rough shape by hand, and rolled it back and forth rapidly inside the bamboo curve. A round, white, slightly sticky, and delightfully chubby Rice Flower Ball was ready.
As soon as this snack came out of the kitchen, it received immediate, unanimous praise from the Little Fairies. To feed these greedy, bottomless little creatures, Daiyousei had also joined the production process, her hands covered in sticky syrup. After Leo finished his batch, Daiyousei even had the Little Fairies transport the heavy iron pot of sand back to the Secret Forest Hut, planning to mass-produce these sweet balls as long-lasting food supplies for the fairies' daily "adventures."
"Why so fierce?" Yukari pouted aggrievedly, shrinking back from Yuuka's terrifying glare. She slumped sideways, leaning her heavy, wine-scented head against Yuyuko Saigyouji's soft shoulder.
As for the Great Fox... if she didn't want her, then so be it! She still had her Yuyuko. She didn't want a Great Fox that she could pet, lean on, and use to warm her bare feet anyway!
Waaaah, I don't want her at all!
Regarding Ran wanting to date Leo, Yukari naturally supported it with both hands and feet from the cold, calculating perspective of Gensokyo's future prosperity. But this was her Great Fox! These other Great Youkai were just standing around talking, enjoying the show without feeling the stinging pain of losing a daughter.
Sooner or later, I will trick the younger generation of YOUR families over here too, and then I'll see if you are all still laughing!
Everyone's acting like it's none of their business, right? You like watching the show, right? Yukari's purple eyes narrowed into a vindictive, calculating slits. I've decided. It's you, Eirin Yagokoro!
As the saying goes, the Lost Home has a long, proud tradition of being incredibly petty. Especially her, Yukari Yakumo. You think you can just laugh and walk away after offending the Sage of Youkai?!
Her gaze swept, seemingly unintentionally, over Princess Kaguya, who was currently playfully flirting with that Little Turkey (Mokou) by the bonfire. Yukari shook her head slightly. Although she was petty, wicked, and entirely lacked moral integrity, she wouldn't go as far as actively breaking up an established couple. Since those two immortal idiots were living a good, violent life together, she wouldn't disturb them. She knew the ancient principle that it's better to destroy ten temples than ruin one marriage.
Continuing her search for a viable target, her gaze skipped over Tei Inaba. That dead rabbit looked like an innocent little girl, but she was actually a terrifying Old Hag. She was the absolute ruler of the Bamboo Forest of the Lost even before the Great Hakurei Barrier of Gensokyo was established. She had no less bad water and wicked schemes in her stomach than Yukari herself. The little brother wouldn't be able to handle such a uniquely wicked, scamming woman; he'd be eaten alive and his farm sold for carrots.
Then the only target left... is you, little Reisen.
Finally, Yukari spotted Reisen Udongein Inaba standing nervously in the chaotic line of fairy children waiting for fresh fruit juice. Those long, shapely legs—which were frankly longer than Leo's entire remaining lifespan—were very conspicuous among the group of knee-high little kids. There were several empty wooden cups stacked on the tray in her trembling hands; it looked like she had been ordered by that old woman Eirin to act as a waitress and fetch drinks.
After observing the rabbit intently for a while, Yukari smoothly withdrew her gaze just a fraction of a second before Reisen felt the malicious, heavy stare and began to look around in a panic, her rabbit ears twitching wildly.
Yukari lay comfortably on Yuyuko's lap, a wicked smile playing on her lips, and began to formulate a plan on how to trick the poor moon rabbit into the trap.
"Is Yukari thinking of some bad idea again?"
Although it was phrased as a question, Yuyuko's light, airy tone was absolute in its certainty. After being together for so many centuries, Yuyuko was intimately familiar with her best friend's every subtle move. No matter what dark, convoluted scheme Yukari was brewing, Yuyuko could guess most of it just by looking at the micro-expressions on her face.
Surely no one in Gensokyo really thought Yuyuko was just a silly, harmless glutton who only knew how to eat.
"Hmm, tell me, Yuyuko..." Yukari whispered, not bothering to hide her intentions from the Ghost Princess. Although Yukari liked to scheme against others, acted like a cryptic riddler every day, and rarely told the plain truth, she had never once lied to Yuyuko. "...how do you get someone with a timid, highly submissive personality to fall in love quickly?"
"Oh~~ You're talking about Reisen."
As soon as Yukari spoke the parameters, Yuyuko instantly identified the target. She picked up a sweet Rice Flower Ball and stuffed it directly into her friend's open mouth, giggling softly as she offered a cheerful suggestion. She often borrowed Patchouli's female-oriented romance novels from the Scarlet Devil Mansion library and could rattle off several of these classic, highly effective tropes casually.
"A chance encounter in the rain? A misunderstood bad boy? Or... a classic hero saving a beauty from danger?"
"Chew, chew, chew..." Yukari chewed the sticky rice ball thoughtfully. "That makes sense. It's very classic. It's worth a try."
Enjoying Yuyuko's gentle feeding, Yukari closed her eyes and fell into deep, malicious thought.
"Good grief, how many cups are you trying to get this time?"
At the juice station, Leo looked down at the massive tray Reisen handed over, wiping sweat from his brow and commenting speechlessly. The Little Fairies all held their own single cups, politely drank their juice, and lined up again after finishing one. This Submissive Rabbit in a sharp business suit had brought five large cups at once, which was a bit much for one person to carry, let alone drink.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
Reisen bowed frantically, her long rabbit ears drooping flat against her head in sheer panic. "I didn't want to either! It was Tei who said getting a few more at once would save trouble and make Master Eirin happy! I didn't mean to break the farm's rules! I'll go back and wait in line again right now! Please don't be angry!"