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"It's not that bad. Just wait in line and I'll serve you," Leo said, his arms moving methodically as he managed the drink station. "What flavor do you want? Currently, we have strawberry juice, raspberry juice, iced mung bean soup, carrot juice, and plain rice porridge."
Leo held a massive wooden ladle in his hand. Before him sat several large, pristine wooden buckets filled with various drinks—a chaotic mix of Chinese comfort food, Western fruit juices, and Japanese staples. They didn't seem to match the smoky, primitive theme of tonight's barbecue banquet at all.
But having anything at all to drink was good enough. His Stardew Valley farm was just starting out; it was already impressive enough that he could pull off a banquet that looked the part with a decent variety of high-quality ingredients to choose from. He couldn't set his expectations too high. Once he became wealthy in the future and upgraded his house and kitchen, he could consider hosting proper, elegant themed banquets.
"Um..." Reisen looked at her mental list, her rabbit ears twitching nervously. "Rice porridge for Master Eirin. Strawberry juice for the Princess and Miss Mokou. Tei and I will have carrot juice. Oh, and for hers... could you please add this and stir it in?"
Reisen listed the desired drinks with practiced efficiency. Eirin Yagokoro remained as strictly health-conscious as ever, choosing the bland, soothing rice porridge. The sweet and sour strawberry juice was a massive hit and a favorite for most of the attendees.
In fact, the group from Youkai Mountain was already completely "drunk"—drunk on the sheer sugar and spiritual energy of the gold-star strawberry juice. Megumu Iizunamaru had stumbled back for several refills, slamming her cup down and telling Leo every single time with a booming voice, "Little brother, I have high hopes for you! How about becoming a live-in son-in-law for our Tengu Tribe?!" before being aggressively dragged away by a panicking Aya and Hatate.
It was no joke; only the three Ootengu in the Tengu Tribe were remotely a match for Leo's cosmic status as a World Lord. Since Megumu said that, she definitely wasn't offering herself up for marriage. In the end, only Aya and Hatate were left as candidates. If those two didn't physically carry their boss away and shut her up, were they supposed to just wait around the farm for her to lay an egg to seal the alliance?!
The carrot juice came from seeds Leo had previously traded with Tei Inaba. They were a unique, magically altered variety from the Bamboo Forest of the Lost. Every single carrot grown from those seeds was very... how should one put it? Very anime-style. They were short, plump, and perfectly round like little orange balls, looking incredibly adorable. They were very juicy and sweet to eat raw, like taking a gulp of pure radish juice.
(The standard Stardew Valley carrot seeds Leo had dug up while hoeing artifact spots had also been harvested once. Those were normal carrots—long, slender, and crisp. Proper, serious, boring carrots).
"What is this?"
Leo took the tiny, unmarked glass vial from Reisen's hand. He curiously popped the cork to take a sniff. He didn't strictly follow the proper high school chemistry 'wafting' method one should use when encountering unknown liquids.
The liquid inside was completely colorless and transparent, smelling faintly sweet and cloying...
Suddenly, Leo's head felt a bit... dizzy? And a bit hot? His heart rate spiked.
"It's 'computer accessories'."
Reisen said those exact words with a perfectly serious, deadpan face, her red eyes unblinking, acting as if she hadn't just handed Leo some highly illegal, strange, aphrodisiac-like liquid.
"What the hell are you trying to do?!"
Upon hearing that infamous internet slang, Leo's face turned pale. He immediately threw the tiny bottle back to Reisen as if it were a live grenade. He grabbed a cup and quickly gulped down two massive mouthfuls of iced mung bean soup. The freezing liquid shocked his system, and only then did he manage to suppress the sudden, unnatural heat rising in his body.
He looked at Reisen with a very strange, horrified gaze. He hadn't realized from just looking at fan works in his past life that Gensokyo was so full of such dangerous 'talents.'
A scammer (Yukari), a harem-builder who steals and lives off others (Marisa), an agitator of the masses (Aya), a secret R-18 doujinshi artist (Hatate), a strawberry addict (Megumu), a dealer in feudal superstition (Sanae), a demolition expert (Flandre), a fate-manipulating fortune teller (Remilia), and a literal mob boss who demands protection money (Reimu).
Looking at it this way, Gensokyo wasn't any better than Gotham City; it was a wretched hive of scum, villainy, and every vice imaginable! And now here was an outright poisoner! Leo didn't dare imagine what special, terrifying talents the Youkai he hadn't met yet had in store for him.
"I just want to give Tei a little lesson," Reisen gently explained her reasons to Leo, her voice soft and polite. But the faint, terrifying dark aura of vengeance rising behind her was all too real. "A few days ago, she slipped this exact substance into my food as a 'prank'. If I didn't regularly help Master Eirin test experimental medicines and have high resistance built up, I would have ended up in a daze and slept the entire day away doing... embarrassing things."
Even a docile rabbit bites when cornered. So it's mutual poisoning, huh? Let's see what maxed-out poison resistance looks like in action.
"Add it yourself, okay? This has absolutely nothing to do with me."
With a few frantic clangs of the heavy wooden ladle, Leo finished serving Reisen's five drinks onto her tray and quickly urged her to leave the station. He was a master of staying out of trouble; he couldn't let this lethal prank war blow up in his hands.
After Reisen bowed and left to deliver the spiked juice, Leo immediately grabbed Daiyousei—who was currently obsessed with rolling sticky puffed rice balls—and had her take over the drink station. Meanwhile, Leo went off to rest by the bonfire. At this moment, after the earlier social death incident, he absolutely didn't dare linger anywhere in front of Yukari Yakumo.
Midnight.
It was very late; it was time for the guests to go home.
Lively banquets always come to an end, especially this strangely alcohol-free one (excluding Eientei's medicinal wine). No one stayed too late into the night. From 6 PM to midnight, once they had eaten their fill and gossiped enough, the Great Youkai left the valley in twos and threes through various Gaps and portals.
The Little Fairies stayed behind to help clean up the battlefield. They packed up the massive amount of leftover grilled fish and rice balls to take back to the Secret Forest Hut as rations, and in exchange for the food, they enthusiastically took over the cleaning and scrubbing duties for the grills and tables.
Ran originally wanted to leave with Yukari and return to her duties at the Lost Home, but the Sage simply waved her hand dismissively from her stretcher (Eirin was having her transported back to the clinic) and told Ran to stay.
Gensokyo was very stable right now, and there wasn't much administrative work to do. If Ran wanted to pursue love, then she should go for it. Since Ran had already declared her feelings to the little brother, Yukari naturally wouldn't play the actual villain and drag her away. The crying, fussing, and dramatic howling earlier were just part of Yukari's twisted little life pleasures.
Suddenly given an indefinite, paid vacation, Ran stood in the clearing, feeling a rare sense of profound confusion. She only snapped out of her daze when Chen grabbed her hand and happily pulled her back to the Farmhouse to sleep.
But they were too late. Leo had already gone into the bathroom to shower because he smelled entirely like charcoal smoke and barbecue from grilling fish all night at the banquet.
Ran was left standing in the middle of the small cabin, looking incredibly flustered at the bedroom layout. Besides the small kitchen and the living room area, the starter cabin only had one single, standard-sized double bed.
"Meow? Lady Ran, come sleep with us! This bed is so soft!"
Chen, in her black cat form, had already jumped onto the mattress. She patted the empty spot next to her with a paw, cheerfully inviting Ran up.
That was exactly how she and Lady Ran slept back at the Lost Home. Chen didn't see anything wrong with the current situation; it was just that Lady Yukari's spot in the bed had been replaced by Leo. It was pretty much the exact same thing to a cat.
Click.
"Hiss, I really forgot about this."
Leo only remembered the glaring logistical issue after stepping out of the shower, a towel around his neck.
In a standard Galgame, several branching dialogue options would have popped up in his vision by now:
[Option 1:] Sleep in the same bed as the Miss Ran who admires you, take the chance to do something ambiguous in the dark, and achieve the [Scoundrel Ending]. [Option 2:] Be a gentleman. Go sleep on the hard wooden sofa yourself, leave the warm bed to Miss Ran and Chen, and achieve the [Simp Ending]. [Option 3:] Sleep with Miss Ran in the same bed but rigidly do absolutely nothing all night, and achieve the [Worse Than a Scoundrel Ending].
However... in the end, none of Leo's mental options were used. Ran thought of a clever way to have the best of both worlds and preserve both their dignities.
And Flandre, who had been running wild in the woods all day, had absolutely no energy left to go out and play at night, so she also barged into the cabin to join the fun.
The final result of the sleeping arrangements was chaotic: Ran transformed entirely into her massive, true Nine-Tailed Fox form. She curled up on the far left side of the bed, creating a soft, golden wall of fur while holding the sleeping black cat securely in her paws.
On the far right side of the bed, Leo was pinned down by the four Flandres, who sprawled over his chest and legs like heavy sandbags.
Leo had nightmares all night. In his dreams, he was a street performer constantly performing the 'shattering a large concrete stone on one's chest with a sledgehammer' act.
6:00 AM.
When Leo opened his exhausted eyes at 6 AM sharp, he immediately reached out to push away Flandre #3's foot, which was currently pressed firmly against his chin. He carefully uncurled the several Flandre limbs wrapped around his torso like octopus tentacles and sat up.
He looked to his left. He saw the Great Fox, her massive body rising and falling with deep breaths, her golden fur shimmering beautifully in the early morning sunlight streaming through the window.
He couldn't resist. He reached out and gently pet the soft, warm fur on her back a few times before getting out of bed to start the day.