"S-Sir David??? I-Is that you???"
I once again walked little by little, trying to approach him. He then turned his body around with the same expression on his face, but his breathing was ragged and his shoulders were rising and falling. His eyes were opened wide as he glared at me. For some reason, I didn't feel afraid of him.
"W-What happened to you, sir??? W-Why are we here??? L-Let's go back to Grivendal..." I stood close in front of him.
But the moment I finished speaking, David suddenly said unexpected thing. "LEEAAVEEE...!!! I DONN'TT NEEED YOOUU ANYMOORREEE...!!!"
My eyes widened, my body felt locked in place, and cold sweat began running down my face. I had absolutely no idea why he had suddenly become like this.
"S-Siiirrr...?!?!?! P-Pleeaasseee...!!! What did I do wrong…???"
I tried to grasp David's right forearm. But to my surprise, he simply shook me off and struck my hand away. I groaned in pain while holding my right forearm and staring at David. But once again, with his face transformed by great anger, he shoved me hard until I stumbled and nearly fell flat onto the ground. Now my chest hurt as well. Tears began streaming from both of my eyes, and I started sobbing.
"You will never save meee...!!! You only follow me around... You never did anything... FOOORRR MEEEEE...!!!!!!"
"D-DAAVIIIDDD PLEEAASSEEE...!!! EXPLAAIINNN... WHAT'S WRONG WITH MEEE...?!?!?! DON'T BECOME LIKE THIIISSS...!!!" I cried out while wailing. I tried to get up and reach my still-aching right hand toward him.
"LEEAAVVEEEE...!!!!!!! DON'T TRY TO COME NEAR MEEEE...!!! ORR I'LL KILL YOOOUUU...!!!" David pointed his finger to me. I cried loudly again while pounding the rocky ground with my left hand.
"N-No one cares about what happens to me... T-They all just use me... I-I will keep ending up like this... forever..." his head trembled and his eyes darted everywhere.
David turned around again and slowly began walking away from me. His gait was staggering as though he had already suffered immensely from all of this. I cried while reaching toward David and screaming his name.
"DOOOONNN'TTT LEAVE MEEEEE...!!!!!!! GIIIVEEE MEEE A CHAAANNNCCCEEE...!!!!!!!"
Gray fog began surrounding David and grew thicker and thicker until his body disappeared, swallowed by the fog.
"DAAAVIIIDDD NOOOOOOOOOOO...!!!!!!!"
***
I immediately woke up sitting upright and breathed erratically. Once again, my body was drenched as though a bucket of water had been poured over me. While my body trembled, I looked at the clock on the small table beside my bed, which showed 3 a.m.
I lay back down again, but my eyes remained half-open as tears flowed from them. I kept remembering the nightmare I had just experienced, replaying over and over in my mind so that I could not fall asleep again. It was not because I was afraid of having the same dream again, but because I was thinking about David himself.
Neither Mendicore nor Sherubiel came to me, unlike my nightmare before. Why, even though it was not as brutal as the first nightmare, did this dream make my heart feel as though it was beginning to crack from within? Was this my greatest fear regarding David's view of me? He had never clearly expressed his feelings toward me despite how often I stayed by his side. What if David truly felt the same way as he did in that dream???
Morning light began shining into my room through the glass window. Yet I remained curled up on the bed. At one point, I heard the doorbell ringing repeatedly.
"Johann??? Are you ready yet??? Come on, let's go together." Someone who sounded like Sherubiel said in a muffled voice. I ignored it while staring toward the balcony.
Not long afterward, they suddenly appeared in front of me and leaned toward me while I was still on the bed.
"Ummm... Johann??? Are you sick??? Your eyes look swollen and exhausted like that. Do you want us to take you to the hospital?" Sherubiel bowed down.
"I-I want to be alone right now... Just leave now..." I hid my face in blanket.
"Johann... Did you have another nightmare last night? Tell us... We will try to help you." Mendicore said.
"I already told you to leaveee...!!! You entered through a portal without my permissiooonnn...!!!" I snapped. They fell silent for a moment, then they left me.
I sobbed for quite some time. Once my tears had run dry, I tried to get up and take a shower. I spent a long time bathing. I also chose to order a light breakfast by telephone, and once again it took me a long time to finish it even though the portion was small.
Just as I was about to finish eating, I suddenly realized something. David would never express his feelings if I continued to play it safe with him. If I wanted to know how he truly felt about me, I had to be more direct with him even though David could ended up angry.
I walked toward David's house with a face that looked like after cried for whole day. In front of his house, many soldiers were still worshipping and I simply walked ignoring them. Even the guard who opened the door looked confused by my expression.
Inside, David was sitting on his throne, his body leaning forward when he saw me enter. I stood near the short staircase staring at him.
"What do you need?" David frowned.
"Why won't you be honest about your feelings toward me? Why is it so difficult for me to understand your thoughts and intentions?" My eyes began to water.
David's eyes widened slightly, and he immediately rose from his throne. I felt that he was already beginning to be provoked by this.
"What do you mean?" David asked in a tone that was still controlled.
"Enough! Stop pretending to hide things from me! Tell me plainly what you think about me! I'm tired of constantly trying to guess the meaning behind your actions and every word you say that's always so vague!" I began to sob.
David's eyes widened even more, his breathing grew heavier and began walking toward me.
"D-Don't come near meee...!!! I'm only asking you to say ittt...!!!" I shouted.
David stopped walking. His teeth began grinding together, and his hands clenched tightly until they trembled.
"Who... made you... like this?!" David still suppressed his anger.
I couldn't believe those words! As though he wanted to find a scapegoat for all my frustration...
"Is it really that hard to tell meee...?!?!?! That alone would be enough for me! Why do you keep looking for other excuses…?!?!?! Remember this! Without me, you would have been trapped forever in Hell with that red spear stuck through your bodyyy...!!!" I pointed David repeatedly.
The Priests could only stare blankly at how unstable I had become. The Feliths also stood silently watching me. David started walking toward me again. Once more, I could not believe how stubborn he was being!
"AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH...!!!!!!" I turned around to leave his house.
"HEEEYYY...!!!" David shouted.
I ignored him and kept walking out. My frustration grew even stronger when I saw the crowd of people still worshipping there. Some of them looked shocked when they saw me approaching in such a face.
"Move out of the waaayyy...!!! You damn foolsss...!!!"
Even so, I could still hear David's footsteps. I immediately ran back to my apartment while sobbing. When I reached my room, I sat on the edge of my bed and still cried. I was truly confused and frustrated about what David truly wanted. Was changing the ending of his story not enough???
I spent the entire day lying on my bed thinking about the nightmare and David's words until I fell asleep and woke up again. I even skipped lunch. That afternoon, just as I was about to fall asleep again for the umpteenth time, I suddenly heard the door unlocking and several people entering my apartment. Why were they still stubborn enough to come see me???
I heard heavy footsteps followed by others. It turned out to be Gruzhnil, Grelmure, Sherubiel, and Mendicore. Gruzhnil immediately sat down on the edge of my bed.
"I've already heard everything from your neighbor next door, the Priests assigned there, and several of my subordinates in front of the Temple of Great Lord David. I only have one question for you, Johann. Why?"
I said nothing and remained silent as Gruzhnil sighed and shook his head.
"Grelmure and I already told you that if something is wrong, you should tell us. You even chased them away harshly when they were trying to help you. Why has your attitude changed so drastically again after this war ended, Johann???"
My tears flowed again. Honestly, I felt very embarrassed becoming like this in front of them.
"I told you when we first met that I don't like seeing men cry over trivial matters. Stop crying and talk!"
"D-David... D-Daaaviiiddd..." I gasped while crying.
"All right... All riiighttt... I understand what you mean! Maybe this is all because of yesterday's news. But come on, Johann! Don't throw a tantrum like a child! He is still the same as before. You have to accept His position now..."
"I know that after all of this, you're still the closest person to the Great Lord David." Gruzhnil leaned his head closer to me. I simply nodded weakly as my crying gradually subsided.
A servant entered carrying a tray with dinner on it. Gruzhnil told me to eat first. After a while, Gruzhnil and the others excused themselves and left. After finishing dinner, I went to the balcony, sat in a chair, and stared toward David's house for a long time until nightfall. Even though the events of that morning had caused quite a commotion, it had not discouraged people from continuing to worship there.
I went back inside to sleep again. My body felt completely drained after spending the entire day burdened by that nightmare. It did not take long before I fell deeply asleep once more.
I dreamed again, but this time it was not the same event as the previous night. I found myself standing inside David's house facing his throne, but David was not sitting there. Around me, everyone was crouched and bowed toward it including Gruzhnil, Grelmure, Glynpatra, Grishal, and even Gregustus. Only I remained stood and stared at David's throne. Suddenly, I realized something. As I began walking toward the throne, I immediately woke up from the dream, and the clock showed dawn.
For some reason, my body no longer felt as weak as before, and I got out of bed to wash my face. I stared at my reflection in the mirror.
I knew what I had to do in the near future.