When Li Weiwen woke up again, she found herself sitting by the river, leaning against a rock. Commander Guo was tending to the wound on her leg. She instinctively tried to stand up and escape from this lecherous man but it was all in vain. It was as if Commander Guo had guessed her intention ---- he held her own firmly. He said:
"Don't move. I will be done soon. Look, your pants are torn and your leg is bleeding. Let me clean it up. You should go to the clinic later and apply some iodine and gentian violet on the wound. I have already cleaned your hand so don't take a bath today ---- you need to avoid infection."
Shen glanced down at her hand wrapped in a white strip of cloth which probably had been torn from a towel. She said nothing, just lowered her head. Her glasses were gone and she had no idea where they had fallen. She watched as Guo Yungang tore another strip from the towel and gently wrapped it around her leg. He grew a little irritated as she still hadn't said a word and kept her head down, Reaching out, he lifted her chin up and said:
"Look at me."
She raised her eyes to him. In those beautiful green eyes, he saw fear, anger and unease. As she met his gaze, she bit her lip again. That made him have impulse to kiss her again. He couldn't stand seeing those tempting and enchanting lips bitten like that. He said angrily:
"Don't bite your lip. Otherwise, I can't promise I won't kiss you again."
She was startled and her already terrified eyes widened even more as she instinctively tried to move her body though there was nowhere left to retreat. She quickly unclenched her lips. He smiled and said:
"That's better. Don't bite your lip again. Otherwise, it will ruin your pretty lips. Alright, you don't need to be scared. I'm not going to hurt you. And honestly, you're not the only one feeling nervous. That was your first kiss, wasn't it? Actually, it was mine too. I'm older than you but I have never kissed a girl before. I'm a proud man. I have never put effort into getting close to any girl I didn't like ---- let alone touch her. But you're the exception. You just happen to be the one I want to kiss. But don't worry. I will never force you. I just want you to think about me. To consider accepting me."
She replied him quickly and firmly in a lower voice:
"No, impossible!"
He looked at her with disappointment and said:
"Okay. I still keep my hope. Think it over. I will never give up."
Just as he was about to help her stand up but she didn't spare him a glance. She quietly shook off his supporting hand and limped toward her horse. After placing the plastic bucket and ladle onto the horse, she put one foot in the stirrup and was about to mount. Suddenly, a force lifted her off the ground. Taking advantage of the momentum, she seated on the horse with ease. She urged the horse forward, ready to head straight back to the base. But another horse had already darted into the darkness like an arrow and soon disappeared without a trace. The rider didn't even look back. Only then did her tears begin to fall. A wave of humiliation crashed over her, raw and overwhelming. Just like that, she made her slow way back to the base. When she returned to the dormitory, she found a small bag tied to the door. There were the cotton swabs, iodine and gentian violet inside.
From that day on she began avoiding to meet Commander Guo, burdened with worries. She was afraid he might act impulsively in front of others. But, it soon became clear that her worries were unnecessary. Guo Yungang behaved just as he always had, carrying out his duties without even sparing her a second glance as if nothing had ever happened. Ironically, it was she who couldn't help but sneak a few glances at him when no one was looking, peeking through half-squinted eyes. Whenever Guo Yungang suggested taking her to the town to buy a new pair of glasses, she, without hesitated, rejected him. Her excuse was simple: her nearsightedness wasn't bad anymore so she didn't need the new ones. But Li Weibing wasn't convinced. She knew her younger sister too well, a devoted bookworm who could lose herself in reading for hours. It was impossible that she no longer needed glasses. But she chose not say anything when she saw how firmly Li Weiwen refused Guo Yungang. Besides, she didn't have more time to worry about this minor thing. Li Weibing and her group were now facing a much more pressing challenge: The young trees they had planted in the spring were about to encounter the toughest test since they had been put into the ground.
The storm was approaching, possibly carrying with it strong winds and heavy sand. No one knew whether the young saplings, planted just six months earlier in the spring, could withstand this coming storm remained uncertain. That's why Li Weibing and her group set out to reinforce them, hoping them could survive not only this storm but harsher weather in the future as well. Nearly everyone who stayed at the base was busy with this effort. But the outcome made everyone disappointed deeply and even disheartened. Not a single sapling survived. All of them were blown away by the storm. A few kilometer away, the desert seemed to have crept a little closer. Despite the loss of the trees, the overall performance of the company wasn't bad. For one thing, the vast fields that everyone had cultivated had already yielded its first harvest. They had planted easy-to-store crops like potatoes and wheat. Although the harvest couldn't fully cover their food supply, it left them with a significant surplus. The eggs were now available for the sick and on holidays they could even enjoy an egg dish. Thanks to people like Xu Yumei, who came from the farming backgrounds, they had even managed to hatch more chickens, increasing the flock several times over. For Xu Yumei, what was most grateful for was a pair of goats. These goats had originally been set aside by Instructor Zhang who had abused his power for his beloved son, Junjun. One of the goats had recently given birth to a kid. Since Xu Yumei didn't have enough breast milk so the goat's milk became an important nutrition supplement for little Junjun.
Owing to the loss of the saplings, everyone welcomed New Year's Day of 1968 with heavy hearts. Those who planned to go home began preparing local specialties to bring back to their families. Li Weiwen knew that this would be the first time that Li Weibing would be accompanying Lin Feng to visit his hometown and meet his parents after her marriage. She would also take the opportunity to stop by and visit Nanny You and Uncle Tao's family so Li Weiwen bought a few items for her to take back as gifts for Nanny You and Uncle Tao. Aside from them, Instructor Zhang and Xu Yumei also returned to his hometown with their child. There were only ten girls left at the base for Chinese New Year, including Li Weiwen.
After more than a year working in the kitchen, Li Weiwen had learned a lot from Xu Yumei. Combined with her love of reading, she had picked up quite a few cooking skills. So, for the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, she was chosen as the head chef. It was a hectic and stressful task. She found herself flustered and overwhelmed trying to get dinner ready. Fortunately, with the help of Guo Yungang and other comrades, she managed to serve a lavish New Year's Eve dinner, including dumplings. The boys even got to drink some alcohol, which Commander Guo had managed to obtain with great effort from the regimental headquarters. After everyone had eaten and drunk their fill and the night's celebration slowly faded into silence, only Li Weiwen remained in the kitchen, preparing breakfast for the next day. That was when Guo Yungang walked in.
"Commander, is there something you need?" Li Weiwen asked as she continued with her last work.
Guo Yungang didn't respond. He simply stood in the doorway, arms crossed, watching her in silence. His gaze made her uneasy and the memory of that night which had passed a few months came flooding back. She hurried to wrap up her work, wiped her hands and walked over to him with her head lowered. Her voice was soft and hesitant.
"Commander, if there is nothing urgent, it is time for me go back now. It is too late and everyone has already gone to sleep."
Standing firmly in the doorway, Guo Yungang asked suddenly:
"Do you have made your decision?"
Li Weiwen looked at him, clearly confused, and asked:
"What decision?"
"It seems that you have never thought about it... or maybe you just never considered to accept me at all?"
It was then that she finally understood what he meant. She let out a long, quiet sigh. After a moment of silence, she gathered her courage and began to said softly and firmly:
"Commander, it is impossible between us. It's not just about you. I will never think about anyone. I am an unlucky person. My existence in this world is a big mistake. Anyone who gets close to me is bound to suffer. So it's better if I stay away from others. I don't want to bring misfortune to anyone. Actually I have already made up my mind to live alone for the rest of my life."
Upon hearing this, Guo Yungang looked at her, confused, and asked:
"Why do you say something like that? To be honest, I have read your file. I know that your mother is serving time in the labour camp but you have officially cut ties with her for many years, haven't you?"
She gave a bitter smile and said:
"That's nothing. Do you have noticed the colour of my eyes? My grandfather died because of this pair of eyes. I spent my childhood alone in a small room to memorize a large number of traditional Chinese medicine prescriptions and classical poems. From the moment I could speak, I was already learning to recognize various herbs."
Then, she began telling him everything about who her father was, how to spent her childhood, how her mother had smuggled her in an attempted escape to Hong Kong that ended in failure and how, eventually, she had to cut all ties with her mother and how she changed her name with Li Weibing's help.
"That's how I ended up here, following Sister Liu'er. So, Commander, this is my past. This is who I am. Someone like me is a plague. I only bring endless misfortune to anyone who gets involved with me."
With those words, she walked over Guo Yungang without looking back, stepped out of the kitchen and disappeared into the cold wind and snow, making her way toward the dormitory. Her figure quickly swallowed by the night.