◆
"Gowon! What has your mind wandered off to!"
A low, firm, and unmistakable voice—my grandfather's.
I exhaled sharply and opened my eyes. Every muscle in my body was stiff. As I recognized that I was in the office, my body gradually began to move again. A sliver of light had slipped past the curtains. That must have been why I had dozed off again.
I stood up, pulled the blackout curtains closed to block the gap, and stepped outside for some air. The palace garden was filled with the deep warmth of the afternoon sun. When I lifted my head, an early summer breeze brushed through my hair. As I adjusted the strands that had fallen out of place, I recalled the words my grandfather had shouted in my dream.
Even though it had been a long time since he passed away, whenever he appeared in my dreams, I became a small child again. He made me tense, as if a blade were pressed against my throat.
Judging by how often I had been dozing off in the office lately, perhaps he was right—I had been distracted. It felt as though he was still watching me from above, evaluating me. He remained a powerful and frightening presence in my life.
As I stood in the sunlight, my body slowly warmed. Just as I was about to return to the office as if nothing had happened—
That person…
Seonmi—and the one standing beside her was a Cheonil Daily reporter who covered the royal family, the same man who had recently written an exclusive article praising my mother's good deeds.
Something about his face felt unsettling.
"If you take this card, then our deal begins, Seonmi."
A deal?
Deals with reporters were rarely good. Their articles could sometimes be truthful, but more often they were contradictions written in exchange for money. There was no reason to believe a deal would be any different.
Seonmi took the card from the reporter's hand.
"Alright."
At that moment, before suspicion about the deal even had time to form, disappointment in her rose within me.
Why was I disappointed in this woman? I had known from the beginning that she was nothing more than a rat sneaking around in the shadows.
As if nothing had happened, I turned away.
The next day.
Rain began to fall midway along the corridor leading from the detached palace to the Queen's tea room. As if announcing early summer, the rain poured down cool and steady, and the scent of wet earth spread faintly through the air.
When I opened the door and stepped inside, my mother was already seated at the table, which had been neatly arranged with refreshments. Surrounded by the gentle fragrance of tea, she greeted me with an elegant smile.
"Come in."
Steam gathered lightly along the rim of the teacup before fading away. My mother let her fingers rest briefly against the cup, as if gauging its warmth, before lifting it at a precise angle. She did not drink it entirely. One sip. The next sip she intentionally left behind.
I sat across from her and drank my tea. It was less about tasting it and more about matching her rhythm.
"You look thinner these days."
"The workload has increased."
She nodded, then casually shifted her gaze to my hand. My fingers holding the teacup. The back of my hand. The faintly raised veins.
"There is tension in your hand."
She spoke as if there was no need for me to remain on edge even in front of her.
At her words, I relaxed my grip just slightly.
"I still do not know. Whether your grandfather's great expectations of you were truly a good thing. At the time, I thought perhaps it would have been better for you to live an ordinary life."
"Please don't say that. Because of Grandfather, I have been able to hold my position well."
"…Do you truly believe that?"
I set down the teacup and looked at her. Her gaze seemed to peer deep into the darkest parts of my mind with a faint bitterness.
I understood her concern. But there was no turning back. Everything my grandfather had instilled in me had already become who I am.
"Yes."
At that moment, a brief notification sound came from outside the door. I instinctively turned my head, and an attendant poked his head in first.
"Your Majesty, a royal correspondent… wishes to see you urgently."
"Very well. Let him in."
The corners of her lips softened ever so slightly. Not the formal smile of the palace, but the expression of someone waiting for a person.
The door opened, and a man entered.
That reporter.
He bowed his head. The depth of his greeting was neither excessive nor insufficient. But the way he did it felt too familiar. Smooth, as though it had been repeated many times before.
"Your Majesty."
My mother's eyes softened.
"Reporter Kim. You've come?"
He shifted his gaze toward me and bowed once more.
"Your Highness."
My mother adjusted the teacup with her fingertips as if aligning it, then leaned slightly toward him.
"What was it you wished to tell me so urgently?"
The reporter lowered his gaze briefly, then stepped closer to her. Not so close as to be rude, but close enough to whisper. My mother did not seem uncomfortable with the distance. Rather, she inclined her head slightly, as if accustomed to receiving information in this way.
He whispered something quietly.
Soon, my mother's breath escaped slightly—a subtle reaction.
"Who would dare spread such matters of the royal family carelessly?"
She murmured to herself, her tone slightly altered, then spoke again to the reporter.
"So, where is that article?"
The reporter pulled a tablet from inside his jacket and held it up for her to see.
"Fortunately, we covered the incident with another article, and the original piece was quickly removed."
"That is a relief."
My mother's gaze shifted toward me. That article was clearly related to me.
"It might be best if His Highness also sees it, Your Majesty."
This time, the reporter did not whisper.
"Yes. The Crown Prince should know as well. Show him the article."
Without a word, the reporter moved to stand beside me.
He positioned himself at just the right distance—about a step and a half away. Too close would be rude, too far would defeat the purpose. He knew that balance well.
On the screen, an article appeared.
He tilted it slightly so I could see it clearly.
"Crown Prince Disappears Every Night… A Strange Rumor Circulating Only Within the Palace"
◆◆
"You will come to my office."
I couldn't understand why.
Had I been discovered sneaking out of the palace last night?
Repeating Crown Prince Gowon's words in my head, I knocked, tense.
At his command to enter, I forced myself to walk in confidently.
The only light in the room came from a desk lamp. That light fell across Gowon's shoulders. He stood behind the desk.
Before I could even stop walking, he threw a stack of documents onto the floor in front of me.
"Read it."
I picked them up.
"Crown Prince disappears every night…"
I couldn't continue reading.
I lifted my gaze toward him.
"Your Highness, this—"
I remembered what Kim Sera had said.
"From now on, anything that happens in this palace… you'll be blamed for it. You're not like us."
I didn't need to finish reading.
I already knew why I was here.
"Read until I tell you to stop."
"But—"
"I said read."
"Among the personnel within the royal palace, there has long been a rumor. It is said that the Crown Prince disappears every night. There are testimonies claiming that he leaves for the forest at the outskirts of the palace at night, and that he kills animals there. None of this has been officially confirmed. However, some staff members speak of something even more grotesque. There are rumors that what the Crown Prince kills is not limited to animals…"
Only after finishing the article could I raise my head.
He said nothing.
Instead, his gaze slowly swept across my face. My forehead, my eyes, my lips.
As if he were trying to determine whether I was lying.
That gaze was so calm that it made it even harder to breathe.
I lowered my eyes slightly.
Then Gowon spoke.
"Last night."
Those two words alone were enough to freeze my heart in the brief instant between breaths.
"You left the palace."
His voice was not raised. It was calm.
It was not the voice of someone angry.
That made it even more terrifying.
If I told the truth, I would be branded the culprit without question. It was better to lie.
A lie had to be spoken with confidence.
"I have never left the palace."
The room was too quiet. There was no ticking clock, no sound of wind. It felt like a space where only the Crown Prince's thoughts existed.
Gowon stepped closer.
In this room, there were only the two of us.
No palace rules.
No watching eyes.
Nothing.
That made it more frightening.
In front of him, I had no confidence in how long a lie could last.
◆
On my way back after finishing the hunt the previous night, I saw someone quietly slipping out of the palace.
To me, matters concerning palace maids were things for them to resolve among themselves. It was of no interest.
I walked past without concern.
Just as I turned the corner, I heard a familiar female voice.
"Ah! …I almost fell."
That muttered voice made me turn my head again.
It was Seonmi.
She was hurrying along, leaving the empty palace alone.
And the next day—
The article delivered by the reporter to me and my mother brought back everything from the previous night.
The suspicious deal with the reporter.
Her secret departure.
The article about the royal family that someone had spread.
Everything fit together like pieces of a puzzle.
"I have never left the palace."
I had seen her myself.
The moment she denied it, the direction of suspicion could not change.
To the very end…
clumsy.
Like an arrow once released from the bow, my suspicion could only continue flying straight toward her.
"Do you believe you are worthy of my trust?"
"…I don't understand what you mean."
"Pretending not to understand why I made you read that article is not amusing."
What kind of courage was it?
She stepped forward toward me without fear.
"You are the one who has been suspecting me all along, Your Highness. Even if you later find out that it wasn't me, won't you simply find something else to doubt? No matter how much I try to earn your trust, you keep your mouth shut and refuse to accept it."
The room fell silent again.
I responded with silence, searching for cracks in her composure.
Her small fists were clenched, trembling.
I thought she might kneel and beg for forgiveness.
Instead—
as if she had made up her mind—
she called out to me in a voice mixed with breath.
"Your Highness."
Without moving my lips, I responded in a low voice.
"Speak."
"I will leave the palace."
A laugh escaped me before I could stop it.
"What did you say?"
She did not lower her head.
Unlike other maids, who instinctively folded themselves and buried their gaze into the floor, she stood firm.
As if she knew that taking even one step back would make her collapse—
and yet refused to give even that single step.
"I said I will leave the palace. Isn't that what Your Highness wants?"
At first, it was.
You made me feel something strange and uncomfortable.
But now that you say it like this…
I don't want to let you go so easily.
"Not satisfied with sneaking out, now you intend to leave the palace on your own?"
"..."
"You might be the first person in this palace to act so freely. Why not grow wings and fly away while you're at it?"
"I will pack my belongings by tomorrow—"
Her usual composure was gone.
Deep within her eyes, something burned like flames.
Was I angry because she was trying to leave without paying for her wrongdoing?
Or because she kept trying to escape from me?
"Silence! You dare to insult the royal family and think you can escape quietly? The one who decides is me. Whether you remain in this palace or not is entirely within my authority."
"Then decide. What do you intend to do with me, Your Highness?"
I could feel the muscles above my brow twitch.
Even my body was telling me—
that it wanted to see her break.
I clenched my jaw, suppressing the impulse.
And spoke, coldly—
extremely coldly.
"You'll find out soon enough what I intend to do with you."